All Comments on 'The Observer'

DAAMMMM! Very cool.

Daaaaamn, EA Poe would have liked this one, i think! I sure as hell did!

Creepy and well written. The Cupid statue falling was quite dark and ironic.

Perfection.

Should of been in erotic horror 🤷🤷🤷🤔🤔👍🙋🙋

Now that is one BAD dream! Coming Or going.

Although hubby probably won’t be too upset.

Five stars.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Don't fuck with "living" homes.

Great story, very well written and very well told. Thanks for sharing it.

5 stars.

Me thinks the Great Aunt stayed to look over her blood kin. 5 stars.

Wow - an amazing story packed into such excellent prose! You are a wonderful storyteller and an excellent writer. More please!

FANTASTIC!!

A story of fate and fatality.

Brilliant! Thank you.

Outstanding effort!

Loved it!!

Beautifully written; original; thank you. 5*

Your writing of foreplay and seduction is a work of art, building in intensity with the characters own lust. Your command of language and vocabulary speaks volumes. Your imagination is refreshing and I am horny as hell. What more is there to say?

`wow an amazing short I like the idea of the family home protecting the family but being wise enough to understand betrayal just good

Wow! Well done! The hint oof promise I saw in the other story is fully realized here.

Wow! Well done! The hint of promise in the other story is fully realized here!

very imaginative. A most original story - loved it.

Great short story. Not an ending I would go for, but I still loved it.

Brilliant, short but so different. However I would like another author [with permission] to change the end. She lives and we see how the consequences play out.

Excellent, like the other house story. May I please buy this wonderful house and care for it a Generation?

different but good!

Good short story. However, I think it would have been an interesting ending if she had survived.

Cupids arrow, appropriate Well told, a great story, a great read, very entertaining

Yes! Good House! I wonder what you get a loyal home for its service? Fresh paint, maybe?

This short little vignette would make Poe proud. As the house settled back from its outrage, you can almost hear it say "Never more".

I really liked it. Five stars ⭐️ for this one.

Very nice.

Hooked

Wish my house had done that.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

It doesn't get much more ironic than that.

Just excellent. What a pair of low life's. 5*s.

A great Faron Young song makes a great comment for this story

How'd thing go for you today?" Just fine and dandy thank you. Signed: BTW

A lot!!!

The house is alive essentially, taking vengeance on those who did wrong.

you are obviously on some sort of an ego trip.

this story is a great story.

5/5

I'm running out of adjectives.

What can I say, except, this is a 5-star masterpiece. The pictures painted really drew me in. Fantabulousderful!

It needed a new word.

Me likes this story

Isn't incarnate of the body ? Vengeance incarnate should be a person , not a house.

Horror, passion and justice in a neat passage, a delight.

Absolutely brilliant, the house is the main character. The man and woman are in a spiderweb which judges their betrayal and inflicts punishment and they never realize that their fate is in the balance. Brilliant & well written.

5 stars

Loved it

That was so perfectly written! I am jealous and thankful.

A match made in Loving Wives hell.

5-stars!!!

So short but so sweet!! What prose!! Ominous how the house looked out for its absent master.....

I'll be wary next time I think about Cupid....jeez!! Horrible....

Great verbs!

The vengeance of the masters house! Well written and crafted to make you FEEL as though you are in the house yourself.

Your words perfectly described the sound and feelings of an old.house. As a college, student, after my Army career, I received free lodging by house sitting for an elderly lady who was spending the year in Florida. Her.house was exactly as.you describe this.one. The atmosphere and the sounds of an old house can be overwhelming. You gave me chills with your description. I was so overwhelmed my first night alone, that I actually slept in my Jeep with a.pistol in my hand. I never did really feel at home in that house. I think it smiled at me when I.finally moved out. Thank you for reminding me of those feelings. If I had read your story first, I don't think that I would have stayed there. P.S. I never did go upstairs to the second, or third floors.

... in both meanings of the word.

Certainly a better story than I could construct.

Period.

An excellent reminder of the need for prompt and thorough house maintenance.

EXCELLENTLY CRAFTED SPOOK OF A STORY. 5*****.

TY

well done, quite original, it seems it would belong in two categories, Loving Wives and Erotic Horror

👍👍👍👍👍👍👏👏👏

that's new. well done a more .. mystery even horror vs lw. better story than high dive. very original idea. id like to see the aftermath and how the discovery would play out in the same theme . not a sequel but a continuation from the husband and family viewpoint. maybe explore how and why the house reacted in that manner

. just a thought

Talk about original and creative. This one has it. A fine tale where the house takes care of the 2 cheaters. As mentioned by others, this tale definitely follows the Poe and Hitchcock forte. Thank you for a wonderful and clever, imaginative, ingenious, innovative, inventive, and original story.

One of the best stories I have read here, or anywhere, for that matter.

Perfection.

Little bit different than what I've read on here, but good,,

A bit on the strange side but leave it to nature to sometimes repair faults.

T.T.

I enjoy reading about cheaters experiencing emotional pains; maybe a little physical pain, but not death. The punishment should fit the crime. Unless you're one sick bastard, what happened too the two cheaters didn't. You are a fine writer and I've enjoyed some of your other stories very much.

means no mess in court.

I want it to be a whole movie !!

So much imagination ! So much skill as a writer !

Thank you for your labor

But there's gonna be one nasty mess for John to clean up! ;-)

Every cheater should die like the cheating cunt in this submission.

best home security system ever.

If i could give more stars I would.

What a great House

This is an absolute jewel of a story. Thanks.

An absolute masterpiece. Every word added to the story, every nuance was just where and what it needed to be. Great work, please keep writing.

Wonderful tale beautifully told. So perish all seducers !

I loved every word.

Jedd Clampett

It's just too bad they didn't suffer longer. Great job

Excellent writing

Excellent! All three characters were beutifully created: the woman, the man and the house.

i must say a superb way of story please wright more i love to read your work

Most of these writers seem to have to write stories that piss people off to get this many comments. You seem to write stories that people love so much that they comment. I guess that's the difference between a real author and people who just write. From looking at your stories, you seem to get a 100 comments on a regular basis. Ninety five percent of them are positive. You're doing something right,

This story was, as the last comment said, a work of art. I've not read better writing on here, anyway. Even the guys that usually piss all over other authors love this story. This is how it should be done. Great story, great author. Keep then coming.

I agree with @Carolinadreamer. I can't believe I just said that. I read these stories because of the drama. Unfortunately, day after day, you see the same old tired stories written. Plot after plot, exactly the same, whether it's cuck stories all the way over to BTB and RAAC. Just change the names and places and you've got the same old tired stuff. Then, something as fucking amazing as this comes along. It's like life gets pumped back into the place.

All the people, like me, who moan and bitch about the same old shit being written, this isn't the same old shit. Maybe this guy can keep up the amazing variety he's given us, maybe not. For now, this is, for me, the best story in this category, the freshest, for 2016. I wish I could give it ten stars. I don't know who down votes it, but you need to fucking stop. I want this guy around!

Lord! Finally, a story that's worth paying without a thought. This is the best written story of the year for the LW section. Technically, superbly constructed, full of allegories, with the correct words for each sentence to bring out the the scenes to the fore conveying the contrasting duality of the cold fury of the house versus the hot passion of the lovers. Undoubtedly, this author is a pro. The scene of the statue of cupid with the tip of the arrow piercing the cheating wife's breast is nothing but, short of masterful. I do agreed with some of the sentiments that their death is to easy of a punishment, a life of suffering and regrets works better to my likings.

very good.

They do not get much better than this.

So do I. Great story, imagination out the wazoo, a house that's awake, great writing, not a mistake anywhere in it, every word is the right word to make you see the picture. I don't know how it could be any better. Yes, I do, come to think of it. Tell the story of the great aunt the husband got the house from. Maybe how the place woke up. Are there more episodes? That's the only thing I think would improve this story. More stories. Or write a different one. I love everything you've written.

This is the best story posted here since, well, forever. Come on, it's like those other guys said. You're some sort of pro, slumming with us here on literotica, right? If not, you should me. This was freaking erotic twilight zone.

I agree with you! I was disagreeing with Harry's criticism.

Re: HIV, hey, Harry chose the name, I'm sure it's not the first time he's seen it abbreviated like that!

Edgar Allan Poe would Love it. Keep at it.

If you're like me and don't read much over the weekend, don't miss this one. I was just scanning down the list and noticed I hadn't looked at this. Lots of people have made references to Poe, King, Kuntz, Hitchcock (I think).

That's not a joke. This guy is that good!!. I think it's like H.P. Lovecraft, or maybe Ambrose Bierce. That sense of brooding watchfulness was just powerful. I hope like hell you write more of this. If not, I'll look forward to reading something else by you, because you are a beast of a writer. Congrats.

To all who have said LW just has the same old same old, who have asked for a story with imagination, here it is. This one is a solid 5!

To Harryin VA: Did you know you're mentioned in the Bible? It clearly says something like this, "The fool has said in his heart there is no God." Remember Tom Clancy's line--when you decide to kick the tiger in the ass, you better have a plan for dealing with his teeth.

the Supernatural awareness of the house, the weather and the space within combine in seemingly random events to settle the score for a betrayal as it progresses.

The finality of the answer is chilling and, as I said above, it leaves one feeling a little outside normal reality.

Thank you.

Please continue.

its worth all the thumbing through page after page of dross on this site to find a real writer of quality, and not just another semi-literate stroke merchant. well done

It is brilliantly written. A feel from a far distant style of writing. Something like Poe or some of the other Gothic writers of the 19th century.

Why do I get the sense of something even farther back "Even the trees and the rocks will shout out with voices "Here is a cheater, hiding behind me. Come and kill him!"

Except in this case, the house didn't need to yell. It took care of business itself.

I am amazed at how much is inferred in such a short little tale of erotic horror. Others have praised the skill of the writer, I concur. Sparse, brief terse, evocative, and illustrative. The hints, asides, and inferences pull the reader in deeper and deeper till the whole scenario comes crashing down around the cheaters. The husband might not have been there, but they were not alone.

This is too good, too polished to be just another guy.

This guy is someone with a huge writing background. I like the "sexy" alt theory. In that case, how embarrassing is it for a guy like Impo to be giving it a three. Imagine giving Dean Kontz a three!

I didn't expect to find this kind of quality here, either. I just read the stories and try to enjoy them, but this guy. There's something special. I read "Corporate Whores." Laptopwriter is right. This guy can write! "Corporate Whores" had me amazed at the amount of snark that had. I was chuckling all the way through. This sent the chills up my spine. What will the house do for an encore?

Amazing story. I gave it 5. Looking forward to more.

Thanks for sharing.

I thought this was neatly done and commendably brief but I don't believe in supernatural intervention so this does not do it for me.

Erotic Horror is probably your best bet.

This was riveting , certainly not something one would expect to find on a free erotica website .

To me , this author makes me think that we have a professional " ringer " amongst us ,Stephen King as some have said ? No in my mind this reads more like Dean Koontz straight from his " Book of Counted Sorrows " , which just so happens to be one of my guilty pleasures .

Whomever our newly arrived author is , professional who has a secret "sexy" alt , or just a very talented amateur , I certainly hope and pray ( that prayer is just to spite HIV) that he continues to share his wonderful creations with us . Top marks from me.

I came late to reading the story after reading the multitude of favourable comments. A nicely-crafted story The comments were well deserved.

As others have said, WhatDreamsMayCome has provided readers with remarkable variety in just four stories. This one perhaps his best?

I stand in awe of this author's creativity.

Lue

There is a little unreality here. The difference is, this was meant to be here. All those Navy SEAL, super-spy, electronic wizard, assault everyone involved stories are unrealistic, but it's because they did it by accident. They didn't mean to be unrealistic, they just weren't good enough at writing to pull it off.

Faithful wife going to sloppy slut in an hour and cuckolding a man who was normal the day before? Talk about unrealistic, but it's by accident. They were going for realistic but didn't have the know how to get there.

This guy wrote something I think is spectacular with a haunted house. He did it on purpose. Real authors do things on purpose. Wannabes do it by accident. By the way, "HIV?" LOL, that's hilarious, dude.