All Comments on 'The Old House by the Sea'

A great first submission. Keep it up!

The sister's name changes from Kellie to Kerrie and then back again. In any story continuity is important. If you're using names and events, it's a good tip to write them down so that you can quickly refer to them if required.

Really dig the overall intonations of the story, the phrasing and the mostly loving attitude between them. You used ALOT of of key words/phrases that i enjoy in these stories, which mostly focus on the deep and real love between the 2 people. Too many of these stories are so lewd, brazen and tawdry with overall interactions and language but NOT this, mostly. Sucess awaits you i think if you play out the story a bit more, I find 2-3 pages of evenly paced content the best for my attention. Keep writing!!!

Though Susan plotted and drew her son into her and David replaced his dad in his mother's bed, a few more conversations , words of love and lust between the copulating mother and son and some description of the incestuous sex the mother and son had , would , perhaps , have added more spice to the story. David with his cock almost always buried deep in his mother's cunt and spewing all his potent sperm in his mother's womb may have impregnated his mother.

David never needs to move out, he's already in. Now the familiarity of things at home will be different as he fucks his mom in different places around the house. That's a good thing though, it makes everything seem new. Susan never gets tired of taking her son's dick several times a day.