The Only Constant is Change Ch. 04

"Hmm? Oh! I'm sorry, I got wrapped up in what you were saying and forgot why we came out here." She pondered her thoughts for a few more moments, trying to decide the best way to say what she wanted to say. Drawing a deep breath, she said "Can I ask you a question?"

He grinned and said, "Technically, you just did. But sure, you can ask me anything you like."

"When you look at me, what do you see?"

Jeremy was instantly wary. This kind of open-ended question could go very good, or terribly, terribly badly. "Before I answer your question, can I ask one of you?" She nodded. "No matter what I say, will you go on a date with me? We can do anything you want, dinner, movie, whatever."

It was Monica's turn to feel defensive. "Do you really want to do that?" When he nodded, she asked him why.

He had many answers to that question, but couldn't look at her while he gave them. Turning back to look out at the stars, he began. "The answer to that is both simple and complex, because it's only two words: Madagascar vanilla." A quick glance at her face showed that she was completely confused, so he hurried to explain. "For about 4 months last fall, I sat next to you every day. And on most of those days, sometime during class you'd pull out this little bottle of skin lotion. I don't know if you had any idea, but two of my favorite scents in the world are strawberry and vanilla. Anyway, you'd apply this lotion to your arms, hands, and elbows, and then you'd always finish up by wiping the excess from your hands on the front of your neck down to the top of your chest. To be honest, it was incredibly distracting. Part of me kept hoping you'd keep going." She gasped and swatted his arm playfully. "Sorry, but it's true. Anyway, I'd sit there in wonder as this beautiful girl next to me attained this glow, smelling warm and comforting." He chuckled, "I looked forward to that sooo much every day, you have no idea."

Monica looked at him quizzically. "Is that it? I guess I don't understand."

Jeremy turned towards her and took one of her hands in his. "Here's the thing, Monica. You asked me what I see when I look at you. I see Madagascar vanilla. I see an exotic fragrance that draws me in, but it comes from a place I don't know. You are so smart, and I can see that you are focused and driven, but you don't seem to let people in. At least, it feels like you keep me at arm's length. But I know that inside that shell is a warm and comforting spirit. And, on those rare occasions when you let the mask drop, I see the brightest smile in school; your whole face lights up. In those moments, I am overwhelmed with how beautiful you are. That's what I see when I look at you."

She couldn't meet his gaze. "That's, uh, very flattering, thank you."

Jeremy gently lifted her chin to look her in the eye. "Every word of that is true. You're an amazing young woman, and I'm thankful for the time I've gotten to spend with you." Releasing her chin, he turned away. "To be honest, I've always been a bit jealous of Jerome."

From the look on Monica's face, he could tell he'd struck a nerve. "You don't need to be jealous of Jerome. We broke up." The surprise on his face must have shown, because she continued, "Actually, we've been broken up for about a month."

"Monica, I'm sorry. I didn't know, I swear."

"It's okay. It wasn't really a clean break. We drifted apart for a while, and then we decided to see other people. But we kept running into each other and inviting each other to this event or that one, kind of fooling ourselves into thinking we'd try again. But each time we'd end up arguing again about the same old stuff, and I finally had to put my foot down."

"Does that have anything to do with why you've been unhappy tonight?" When she nodded, he could see tears welling up. "Are you ready to talk about it?"

Monica sniffled and dabbed her eyes with her shirt sleeve. "It's a little bit embarrassing, but I think I do need to talk about it." She took a deep, calming breath and held it for a few seconds before letting it out. "Jeremy, this is going to sound terrible, but part of the reason that I was upset is because I'm different here. I thought this party sounded like fun, but I couldn't get any of my friends to come. They were telling me that I only wanted to come so I could hang with a white crowd. I tried to get Jerome to come, and he called me an 'oreo' and hung up." Jeremy was shocked, to say the least. "That's one of the things we always fought about, how much we should interact with white people. I don't see any difference, but a lot of my friends and older people in our community still do. Because I work hard in school and try to follow the rules, I've been called a lot of things, a lot of hurtful things. My parents don't want me listening to rap music, so I've never really gotten into that culture. And the stupid part about all of that is that I've tried so hard to be friends with people who look like me and talk like me, that I've ignored people like you who just wanted to be my friend.

So, when I walked in tonight and there wasn't another black person here, I started feeling sorry for myself. It seems like I don't fit in with 'my' people, but how can I fit in with 'your' people when we look different?"

Jeremy needed a few moments to collect his thoughts. It disgusted him to no end how some people make the differences that no one has control over the basis for the ugliest of behavior. How could anyone who knew Monica look themselves in the mirror after treating her the way she'd described?

"I've never had to deal with those problems, Monica. And I am unbelievably sorry that you have to go through this. I'll tell you what my father once told me. He said that the differences between people are what make life interesting. If I never encountered anyone who looked different or thought different than me, my life would be terribly boring. So, from my perspective, you've got a couple of options. You can look at different people, see the differences, and view them as insurmountable obstacles. Or, you can embrace them as opportunities to enrich your life. Personally, I'm really hoping you'll take the second option. I know my friends would love to get to know you better, never mind how much I'd enjoy it." With that, he raised her hand to his lips and gently kissed it.

Monica was stunned into silence. Once again, this handsome man with the beautiful green eyes had found a way to shred her defenses and strike deep into her heart. She had played at keeping him at arm's length for so long because of how her friends would look at her if she dated a white boy. But where were they now? He was right here, soothing her hurts and wiping away her tears, and looking hot. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she'd been building to this moment for a long time. Holding both hands out, she said, "Help me down?"

Once standing before him and before she had a chance to second guess herself, she stepped to him and buried her face in his chest as she hugged him tight. "Thank you," she mumbled. The two of them scarcely breathed to avoid disturbing the feelings they were sharing. Finally, Monica stepped back and said, "Yes."

"Yes?" Jeremy asked.

"Did you, or did you not, ask me if I would go on a date with you?"

"I did, yes, but..."

"Don't tell me you're backing out! After all that?"

"No, I'm definitely not backing out. There's some complications, though." Here was the real test. Looking into her eyes, Jeremy began to explain his new approach to dating. "I am kind of new to dating, and I'm trying to figure out what I like. The only way I can do that, I think, is to try dating a number of different girls. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so before you and I can go out, we have to agree that it's not an exclusive arrangement. I've been out a couple of times with Jess Harper, and once with Ava Powell. And I'm committed to some dates with Hannah Jordan and Lanie Harper after my birthday in a couple of months. But I would absolutely love to spend time with you, if you're interested."

The next 2 or 3 minutes felt like, roughly, an eternity as Monica pondered his comments. When she finally spoke, there was a look of determination in her eyes. "You know what? Let's do it. I'm tired of doing what everyone else wants me to do instead of what I want. I want to see you. If I have to share with other girls, I guess I'll just have to embrace the opportunity, right?" With that, she gave him her number and said "Call me, okay?"

"Absolutely. Now, would you like to meet some of my friends?" Jeremy held her hand as he escorted her back into the party.

"Before we go too much further, there's one more detail that I need to take care of." Jeremy took Monica with him in search of Ava. She was hanging out at the table with AJ and the rest of the gang. Jeremy leaned in to whisper in her ear, "Can I talk to you for a second?" When she nodded her agreement, he took Monica off to the side, for a little privacy, where Ava joined them.

"Hi Monica, you look cute tonight!"

"Hey Ava, you are looking pretty hot yourself."

Jeremy knew they were friends, but he hadn't known how close they were. "Ava, I made you a promise, and I am following on that promise. Monica and I had a long talk tonight, and we've decided that we'd like to spend some time together. So, I need to know if that's going to cause a problem with us." As he said this, the two females were having very different reactions.

Monica was intrigued. When he'd said he was dating different girls, she'd assumed that he was, more or less, a free agent. From what he said, though, he was at least keeping Ava's feelings in mind. It was unconventional, but it was actually kind of sweet.

Ava on the other hand, was experiencing something she couldn't possibly have ever envisioned. Her heartrate was up, and her pulse picked up. She could feel the heat creeping up her face and gathering between her thighs, while her nipples had tightened into two hard little points. Her boyfriend had proved once again that he could get a date with the hottest girls, if he wanted. And he was giving her control over the process. It was strangely exciting to know that this was her man, and other girls wanted him just as much as she did. The passion in her voice was hard to miss as she assured him that he absolutely should spend time with Monica, and it would cause no problems for her. Jeremy thanked her with a kiss.

Jeremy threw an arm around each girl as they joined the rest of the gang. Jeremy made the introductions, and within minutes Monica was accepted without reservation. The next hour passed quickly, as Ava, Mandy, Monica, and the Crosby twins withdrew to another table, where they commenced an animated discussion in hushed tones, accompanied by much giggling.

Since he knew he could spend time with the guys whenever he wanted, Jeremy took advantage of the girls' absence to reconnect with Hannah, Lanie, and Laura. He took a couple of turns on the dance floor with each of them. By the time he was done, his shirt was sweat-soaked and the clock was nearing 10:30. Knowing he needed to be up at 5 in the morning, Jeremy started making the rounds to say goodbye to his friends. Just before he left, he realized that he hadn't had a chance to speak with Jess tonight. Looking around, it occurred to him that he hadn't seen her in a while, either.

Jeremy, made one more circuit of the building just in case he'd missed her. He noted that the people most likely to give Jess a ride home were still here; Lanie and Ava were both engaged with their friends. He experienced a not-inconsiderable amount of joy at seeing Ryan Walters visibly shrink away from his gaze, and he was proud of the bruising and swelling to Ryan's face. Not seeing his little pixie anywhere, Jeremy assumed that she must have gotten a ride home with someone earlier that he was not remembering. Oh well, he thought, I'll catch up with her on Monday.

Walking towards his truck, Jeremy was reviewing the evening's events and not paying particular attention to where he was going. Without realizing it, he'd gone to the wrong side of the parking lot. As he became aware of his mistake, he started to turn around. Before he'd gone two steps, though, he heard the voice of Colby Walters. It was unmistakable, hushed though it was. Worse than the voice, were the words being said.

Oh God, that's good. Your mouth is so hot. Just like that. Yeah, keep going.

With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Jeremy turned back to the shadowy area from where the voice was emanating. His feet heavy as lead, and legs numb, he had a feeling what he'd see as he moved into position to see the action taking place between the cars. Though the area was largely in shadow, there was enough light from nearby poles to see that Colby was leaned back against his car with his pants around his thighs. Sure enough, Jeremy's little pixie, who'd assured him that "she could handle Colby," was certainly living up to her promise. From what Jeremy could see, Colby didn't have anything special between his legs. That didn't stop Jess from jerking and slurping on what was there with wild abandon.

Without saying a word, Jeremy turned and walked away.

By the time Monday rolled around, Jeremy had pretty much tied himself into knots trying to figure out how he should feel about the happenings at the barn party. On the positive side of the ledger, he'd had a great time with Hannah and Lanie, he'd advanced beyond his secret crush with Monica, and had kept things cool with Ava. In most respects, he'd probably be the envy of just about every other guy in the school. Except for Jess.

As much as he wanted to be blindingly angry, what he felt was more a combination of confusion and disappointment. For the better part of the last two days fishing with his dad, Jeremy had wrestled with his thoughts and emotions, yet he was still no closer to answering the biggest question that remained: why?

Everything that Jess said to him indicated that she wanted a relationship with him, that she thought he was a great guy, and she wasn't interested in doing anything that would jeopardize her chances with him. But the things her actions said ran counter to those intentions. When Jeremy warned her about his feelings regarding Colby, she'd blown him off. When he'd tried to break things off with her, she'd asked for a chance to be a better person. How exactly did sucking Colby's dick in the parking lot fit into any of those things?

And the stupid part about it was that Jess had already quickly worked her way down the list of romantic options in Jeremy's life, to the point that he tried to break it off with her. In reality, getting rid of a headache like Jess with so little invested in the relationship shouldn't feel so bad. But it still hurt, and it still brought back some of the insecurities he'd been working so hard to shed.

Jeremy finished his bowl of cereal and grabbed an apple on the way out the door. He wasn't looking forward to dealing with Jess. More than that, though, he was feeling like somehow word had gotten around school that Jess and Colby had put a clown suit on him. As the thought entered his mind, Jeremy had a moment of clarity. He wasn't really upset about the loss of a relationship with Jess; it was more that he was angered and hurt by the lack of respect. Obviously, he'd never had or wanted the respect of a jackass like Colby Walters, but to have somehow lost the respect of Jess, and through her actions, potentially much of the school...that was something he wasn't prepared to stand for. The question became, then, what to do about it.

Out of all the questions left unanswered, there was one thing that seemed crystal clear: Colby Walters had intentionally gone after Jess knowing that she was seeing Jeremy. That broke the unwritten rules concerning gentlemanly conduct in the pursuit of the opposite sex. Or, in layman's terms, he broke The Bro Code. Regardless of Jess's actions, this was a declaration of war in Jeremy's eyes.

Driving to school, he put some thought into forming a plan of action. He'd once read a history of the Spanish-American war, where Admiral David Farragut was quoted as saying that "The best protection against an enemy's fire is the steady and well directed fire of our own guns," which Jeremy had always equated with the adage "the best defense is a good offense." He felt under fire right now, and he was ready to come out with guns blazing. But he realized that if he was going to complete a successful counteroffensive, he would need to rely on intelligence, counterintelligence, and misdirection. Jeremy simply didn't have the resources to compete with Colby when it came to money and influence.

Thus, he resolved that he'd have to play dumb with Jess for the time being. This would allow him to use her as an unwitting double-agent, as well as to mask some maneuvers from Colby until the time was right to strike back. It sickened Jeremy a little bit, but it had to be done. To make things easier on himself, he figured he would not seek out contact with her, but would also not shy away from her if she initiated contact. The one thing he was absolutely not going to do, was kiss a mouth that had been anywhere near Colby's genitalia.

Sometimes, when you least expect it, a solution to a conundrum appears as manna from heaven. So it was that, while absorbed in his thoughts and reaching for a means of achieving retribution against Colby, a potential solution literally hit him. "Oh! I'm so sorry, Jeremy! I wasn't watching where I was going."

Bending down to help collect her books and papers, Jeremy smiled inwardly at the ironic opportunity that fate had placed before him. "No, it's clearly my fault Serena. I had my head in the clouds and didn't look before I turned the corner." Serena Chase was the "Ava" of Colby's group of friends/hangers-on, except where Ava fit into their little group because of her intelligence, wit, and general tomboy-ness, Serena held her status for two reasons: first, her family was wealthy. Her family owned a small bank in town, and her father showered his only child with love in the form of gifts. Serena drove a BMW convertible that was a 16^th birthday gift, and she was the standard-bearer when it came to fashion at school. Second, she was one of the hottest girls in school.

Standing maybe 5'9" or 5'10", Serena was the stereotypical blonde bombshell. Her long, golden hair paired well with the year-round tan she maintained through regular visits to the salon. She had piercing blue eyes set above high cheekbones and a narrow nose. Her smile though, in Jeremy's opinion, was her best feature. Wide, with perfectly straight white teeth, her mouth was framed by bow-shaped lips, with the bottom slightly thicker than the top. If asked, he would have said that she was the epitome of Nordic beauty. Her body was shapely, without being overly voluptuous, already possessing the natural softness of a mature woman.

Of particular interest to Jeremy at this time was that Serena was the on-again/off-again girlfriend of one Colby Walters. They'd been on at the Winter Formal, but rumor had it that Colby had finally burned the bridge between them by paying a little too much attention to Serena's ex-friend Andrea Simms at a party earlier this spring. Jeremy had heard Colby suggest that it was only a matter of time before Serena came back around for him, but Serena was adamant that they were over for good.

Handing her the science textbook she'd dropped, Jeremy said "I was surprised that I didn't see you at the barn party Friday night."

"I wish I could have gone. My daddy rented a cabin in Colorado so the family could go skiing over Spring Break. We just got back yesterday."