The Other Side of Grief Pt. 04

Their first night sleeping together, neither David nor Jake slept well. For David, being in a strange bed was unsettling. And Jake kept listening for Scout to stir, even though she'd slept through the night for months now.

David stirred a little before 7am. Jake had finally fallen asleep and was resting his head near David's shoulder. David, though, needed to get up to pee. He tried to extract himself without waking up Jake and made his way to the toilet. He started to pee when he heard Scout shriek—and his pee went everywhere!

"Damn it," he muttered, as he wiped up his mess, quickly washed his hands, and went out to see what had happened.

Jake was Scout's room, holding her in the rocking chair, singing softly. The site of them together melted David's heart. He remembered early mornings with his kids when they were babies and the soft cuddles were the best. He stood in the doorway and smiled.

"Morning handsome," Jake said as he stood up and put Scout on the changing table. "Someone soaked through her diaper last night and was not very happy about it," he said looking at his baby and making a silly face. Scout giggled.

"She's so beautiful," David said as Jake changed her diaper and got her into a new outfit. Jake looked up at David and smiled. "You're not wrong," he smiled. They both laughed.

"Well Scout, it is time you had your morning bottle and maybe some Cheerios and I make David and me some coffee," Jake said to both of them as they all made their way into the kitchen.

"How do you like your coffee?" he asked as he put Scout in her highchair. "I can also make you a latte; Susie and I got one of those fancy machines when we got engaged..." A wave of emotion wracked Jake's body as he realized what he was saying. David moved over to him and took him in his arms, letting Jake sob.

"I'm not a big crier," he said as he blew his nose. "I just can't believe I'm never going to see her again. And I know that. I want you here. But after last night..." Jake's voice trailed off as Scout held her bottle in one hand and threw Cheerios onto the ground, one by one with the other.

"Yeah," David responded. "Last night was big. For both of us. And I don't just mean what's between your legs," he joked. Jake smiled. David just wasn't the kind of guy to engage in raunchy humor; but Jake deeply appreciated his attempt.

"Last night was amazing, Jake. But if it is too much for you right now, I understand. We can just be friends if that would be easier," David's voice caught in this throat. He realized how much he cared about Jake if he was so willing to sacrifice what he felt.

Jake sat down and poured the coffee. It was a lot. Grief was a lot. Missing Susie was a lot. Raising Scout on his own was a lot. David was a lot.

"Remember how you said that you feel like your insides are a puzzle and all the pieces are mixed up? You know they're all there, but they just don't seem to fit together?" Jake asked.

David nodded. He completely understood.

Jake sipped coffee and quietly picked up the Cheerios Scout had littered the floor with. He thought for a minute. Would David leaving make him feel better? No! Ok. Well that was easy.

"I don't know what all this means," Jake opened, looking David in the eyes and once again appreciating how tender and understanding a man he is. "But if you don't mind hanging out with a guy who has a shitload of feelings and not a lot of clarity, I don't want you to leave. I like being with you, David. And last night was great," he smiled, remembering their intimacy.

David nodded as well. "It's good we're talking. I like you, Jake. I like you a lot. So much it kinda freaks me out." He looked down. "And, I wonder if last stirred up for you what it did for me? That Susie and Stephanie are truly gone. And it breaks my heart," he heaved for a moment and tears welled up in his eyes. Jake moved over to him and kissed the top of David's head.

"But we're here, Jake. We're still here. And while I didn't know Susie, I did know Stephanie. And man—she would be pissed if I spent the rest of my life moping around and miserable. I don't think she quite had us in mind," he chuckled. "But somehow, maybe it's better this way? Or easier? I mean, none of our kids is gonna end up with a stepmom here!" He said with a fit of laughter.

Jake's eyes widened—first from David's raw and emotional assessment and then from how David so quickly put all those pieces together. And then he let out a belly laugh so loud it startled Scout, who looked as if she might burst into tears.

"I'm sorry baby," he said as he reached over and got her out of her highchair. She calmed immediately in her daddy's arms and ran her little fingers through his beard, which he kissed tenderly.

Jake looked up at David, who was looking adoring at the two of them. His heart swelled and much of the anxiety he'd felt up to the moment faded away.

"Thank you, David," Jake said, as he put his big hand on David's neck and rubbed. "I want to be with you. So how about you spend the day with me and Scout?"

David smiled and kissed Scout's foot and then Jake's shoulder. "I'd love to," he replied.

The three of them spent the day together, David only going home at night so he could get his things together for work the next day. They saw each other almost every night that week. Their friendship grew and their feelings for each other deepened. Neither worried much about what "it" was—they just appreciated each other's company. And they had a lot of good sex with kissing and mutual sucking and even a finger or two exploring the other's ass.

The night before David had to pick up his kids, after Jake had put Scout down for the night, the two men took a shower together for the first time. David loved soaping up Jake's hairy chest and playing with his nipples—which made Jake squirm and moan. No one had ever really given much attention to his nipples; he didn't know it was such a source of pleasure.

David sucked on one nipple and twisted the other one as the water sprayed them both. "Fuck!" Jake moaned and reached behind David to play with his ass. David was frisky and aggressive, biting Jake's nipples hard, causing him to moan loudly.

Jake pulled him of his chest and turned David towards the wall. He kissed David's neck, causing David to shudder as Jake's beard scratched against his sensitive skin. Jake kissed his way down David's back and found his way to David's swimmer's ass. He slowly spread David's ass cheeks apart and started tonguing his tight rosebud ass. David gasped. "Oh!" He cried out as Jake's tongue plunged in.

Jake had enjoyed rimming Susie—why not with David? The scent and taste were markedly different—David had a musky smell and more manly taste. Jake got hugely turned on as David moaned and started bucking his hips and ass back into Jake's mouth.

David started whimpering, "Please Jake... Please."

Jake stood up and started rubbing his big cock against David's ass. "Please what?" Jake asked coyly.

David was so turned on he almost started to cry.

"Please," he moaned again, grinding his ass against Jake's dick. David had never really had his ass played with before; he was wound too tightly. But damn if this didn't feel good!

Jake reached around to stroke David's rigid dick. It took only a few strokes—while Jake's cock rubbed up against David's ass—for David to cum hard against the shower wall. "OH God!" he cried out.

Jake was so turned on as David was cumming that he started to cum, spraying his load between David's ass cheeks. "FUUUUUUUCK!" He moaned as he kept pumping out his cum.

After the two caught their breath, they enjoyed a languid kiss under the warm shower water. David sighed as he put his head on Jake's massive chest. Jake kissed David's wet forehead.

"I like playing with your ass," he said to David.

Normally, David would blush at such direct and raunchy talk. But the truth was, he loved Jake playing with his ass.

"I liked it, too," he said as they got out of the shower and toweled each other off. Someday soon, Jake would make love to him. The thought made David shudder in anticipation.

They snugged together and shortly before they fell asleep, Jake murmured quietly, "I'm so happy you're here, David." David smiled as they drifted off to sleep.

When the week was over, David went to his in-laws to get Evan and Lily from their week up at the cabin. The kids had a glorious time and the three of them reconnected nicely. It was not lost on either Evan or Lily their dad seemed different, more relaxed, even... happy?

On Sunday morning, David had invited Jake and Scout over for brunch. While David and Jake hadn't exactly defined their relationship, they'd spoken during the week that they would keep public displays of affection to a minimum so as not to confuse or upset Evan and Lily. It didn't come from a place of internalized homophobia or shame; just from a sense of duty as parents—and as single parents. The two men shared similar feelings and perspectives on parenting, one of the many areas of their lives that felt easy and in sync.

Jake and Scout arrived for brunch and Lily immediately went to the baby. Jake set her up in Lily's old excer-saucer while he went to the kitchen to help David with the cooking. Evan came in and asked for Jake's attention. David was pleasantly surprised.

"Jake," he said very seriously, "I made my Poppy take pictures of my marshmallows and s'mores. I wanted you to see how perfect I made them: brown and crispy outside; soft and gooey in the middle." Evan tried to hide his pride but Jake looked through all the photos with great interest and seriousness.

"Well," he said, "I have to say. This first one is golden brown and this second one looks like it might be the most perfectly roasted marshmallow I've ever seen!" Evan smiled widely. "I think that if we go camping or make s'mores, you need to be the S'more King and I'd like you to show me how to do it. Because these look delicious!" Evan nodded, shook Jake's hand, and marched out of the room, standing a few extra inches taller.

David found himself staring and trying not to tear up. "Thank you," he whispered to Jake.

Jake winked back at him.

Brunch was served and the kids were busy talking about all they did during their week away. Everyone was laughing and having a good time; even Evan seemed interested in Scout, who giggled every time he put his napkin on his head.

As they got up to clear the dishes, Lily turned to Jake and asked, "So are you my daddy's boyfriend?"

David dropped the leftover pancakes on the floor and thought he might hyperventilate. Jake's eyes widened and he looked down at the ground and started to pick up the food.

David caught his breath and turned to his precocious seven year old daughter. "Why do you ask, Lily?"

She put her hands on her hips. "Um, because you love each other. Duh." David turned crimson red and Jake looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

David started to stammer a bit, "I, um, we..."

Evan interrupted. "Dad. You need to chill out. We totally know that you and Jake are boyfriends. Lily and I talked about it with Nana and Poppy this week."

David started to sweat. "You did what?" He asked breathlessly and with surprise.

"Yeah," Evan said rather casually as he kept making Scout laugh. "Nana and Poppy asked how you were doing. And we told them that you and Jake met at the sad people group."

"And we told them," Lily said, hands still on her hips, "that you were really really sad since Mommy died. And now when you're with Jake, you're not so sad all the time. And we do fun stuff like the water park and play with Scout and go on drives to the fruit stand and get ice cream. And I told them that you love each other."

David felt the world spinning and that he might pass out. He took his water from the table and took a sip. "And what did they say?" he asked trying to calm himself and unable to look at Jake. He could only imagine how difficult this conversation must have been with his dead wife's parents.

"Well," said Lily very matter of factly, "Nana said that love is a gift. And she said that we will always miss Mommy. But that we have enough love inside our hearts to love other people too. And she said that if you love Jake in your heart, that's good enough for her."

"Poppy didn't say much. I just told him that Jake likes marshmallows and fishing and he seemed happy," Evan added.

"Ok," Lily demanded. "I'm going to put on my bathing suit. And then you promised we'd go to the lake to swim." She and Evan were off, leaving a stunned David and Jake in their wake.

David put his hands in his face and started to cry. It was his turn to feel overwhelmed. Jake came over and took him in his arms and rubbed his back. They were both quiet for a few moments.

"They're right you know," Jake said breaking the silence.

David looked up, his eyes bloodshot from crying.

"I love you. There's no point in denying it. As your mother-in-law says, 'love is a gift.' I found it once with Susie. And now I've found it again with you, David. I wasn't looking for it. But here you are." He smiled his bright Jake smile, messed up hair and all.

David found himself still shaking. "I love you, too," he croaked out as his lips met Jake's.

How did this happen? David wondered. This was not how he planned his life. None of this was supposed to happen. And yet, here he was: deeply, tenderly in love with a man he met in the "sad group" while grieving his wife who was tragically killed in a bike accident 18 months before.

Evan interrupted the tender moment, "Um guys, we're going to the lake. C'mon. You can do that mushy stuff later. Blech."

The two broken hearted men laughed. In the "sad group," two aching souls found each other. And with it, a second chance at love.