by mermaid_girl
great start. it would be interesting if he turned out to be bad for her and someone she felt strongly for came along but she felt trapped with russel. assuming all that made sense. can't wait for more
So the question is who's the outlaw. :) I don't see Melissa with either of the. I could see that she'd marry Russell and then the "right" guy would come along and woo, boy, would that be messy. I'm not sure Melissa's... reticence? comes across strongly enough; she changes her mind awfully quickly. Good, though, and I'd like to see more.f
Written nicely, but I cannot see Russell being her "Mr.Right" type of person. First, she's not in love with him. That's not to say that Tommy would have been a good choice; logically, it seems unlikely. But now that she is committed, she's trapped. Given the time and place of the setting, it isn't as if she can just change her mind. So now, she's all messed up.
-- KK in Texas
I like it! Its a great start! I like these two i have a feeling mels going to give russ a run for his money! Cant wait to see what goes on between these two! Please more and soon! Thanks!!
i see you're off to another cracking start. you've set the stage beautifully, can't wait to see where it goes
This one's a bit of a stretch for me. I don't know anyone who would say yes knowing they didn't love the person. She should have at least insisted on dating for a bit!
I can totally see her making preparations to marry Russ, but being that she's the most sought after woman in town, she could maybe right before the wedding be either wooed or kidnapped by the "badboy"/outlaw type. I know it might sound cliche, but it would make a great series, especially with how well you write! And really, us romantics don't want the heroine to "settle" for a marriage without love.. we want passion!
Can Russel be a bad... good guy? She's not in love with him, but people have married for worse reasons than that.
But, I don't know, I think he can change her mind... or awaken certain things inside her. I dig strong dominant men (sigh). Since you're asking, I vote to keep Russel! Thanks for another story!
Intersting!!! Where will it go from here? Who will be a bad guy /girl!! or who will be the goodies??? What will happen is the queston! I really like the possibilities about wherethe story can go. Dragon21
It's off to a great start! I thought this submission was a little too short and did not really leave me anxious to see what happens next, but I'm glad you're willing to listen to outside input. Personally, I like Russ and hope you'll make him the protagonist. Saying you'll marry someone and then dump him along when someone else "better" comes along seems pretty clique and lame. You shouldn't marry someone because you don't want to hurt them or don't think you'll find someone better.
Awesome beginning. Is Russell bad? That last thought of his was kind of crazy and deranged!! Please continue ALL of your stories we await them with bated breath.
It seems that you are setting up the stage for Russell to kinda go crazy with jealousy and end up on the wrong side of our heroine. Please make her end up with Russell. He knows her....is her best friend....and understands her the best. Make there be twists and turns but let her end up with Russell.....with her virginity intact ( the storyline has it set up during the 1850s-1930s- the heyday of the single room schoolhouse-anyways usually there were morality clauses along with the teaching job and I am pretty sure men would not want to marry her if she was selling the milk for free.)
It seems that you are setting up the stage for Russell to kinda go crazy with jealousy and end up on the wrong side of our heroine. Please make her end up with Russell. He knows her....is her best friend....and understands her the best. Make there be twists and turns but let her end up with Russell.....with her virginity intact ( the storyline has it set up during the 1800s-1930s- the heyday of the single room schoolhouse-anyways usually there were morality clauses along with the teaching job and I am pretty sure men would not want to marry her if she was selling the milk for free.)
he needs to be bit more of the "bad boy" to earn her,i dont think she will or should settle for a normal average man,,,give her more.
i really like how you started it i really hope to see some heat in the next couple of chapters!!!!!!!
Its my thinking that Russell is going to carry Mel back into the school house and give her a nice but wild sex session. And then another suitor comes in in the middle of it and wants his share of the lovely Melissa. lol your way will probably be better so get going M-G. Great writing and I'm waiting.
Yet again, another great story from you...Thanks so much!!! Like you said, there are so many directions in which you could take the story. I would delve into how Russell would deal with the other men in the town whenever they hear that Melissa is engaged. Should be interesting, in any case. Keep up the excellent work!!!
should have to work a little harder for the ILY it makes the heroine look too flakey. If she marries him let it be for convenience, perhaps to avoid the stigma of being an old maid, but let her make it clear she see's Russ as a friend, and see how he deals with the ambuguity of married life without love, but hot sex.
You really don't know if he is good or bad. The weird look and thinking about her leaving him makes you wonder, but he seems nice otherwise. And those moments could be explained. In a way you want her to have that great over-powering love, but I have read some great stories where the girl falls in love later (the guy almost dies or does something to show how great he is). Either way you decide to go I would really like to see more! PLEASE!!!
love this chapter. I hope you continue this story as it sounds like it would be amazing.
You're wording is so foreboding. Was that on purpose? Sounds like she may not know him as well as she thinks she does.