All Comments on 'The Outsider'

I was hooked within the first page. Honestly, the initial discovery, that whole part was great. It was a good read but I do feel let down. All the talk about incestuous orgies but we only get a glance at one. Most importantly though, nothing came of that ex-girlfriend subplot. That was pretty frustrating. Still pretty good though.

eight pages of whining before you get to the good stuff and why did you not included Lois ?

It was a long ride but well worth the time . Thanks

not sure if upgrade is the proper term but it was a good improvement over the previous submission. this one was good enough that IF it were to become a series we would gladly read future chapters or additions

Well this version was a lot better than the last one, which lost its way, and the initial storyline, about half way through. This one kept the initial premise right up until the end, and hung together a lot better. My only criticism would be that it seemed to end a bit abruptly after the sex had started, where a couple of extra pages could have sorted out the dilemma he was having with his girlfriend as well as strengthening the family dynamic. Good job, though.

This was fantastic. I was a huge fan of the last edition and like you said this one had just a little bit more meat to it. Really turned out wonderfully. Thank y'all for writing this. Hope there is some sort of sequel so we see what happens with the girlfriend. Thanks again!

P.S. I do wish the original hadn't been removed so we could compare a bit though. Not really a fan of removing stories for any reason.

The issue has been resolved... sorta... but the story is incomplete. What happens with Lisa, for instance?

I agree that this rewrite answered some of the questions that lingered after the original. Great rewrite but do really like both.

i think there is plenty of room left with peter and lisa and lisa wanting to see Danni suck him. will that lead to a threesome and break the ice for the family and will it be before or after the wedding who knows certainly more to cum

Ok, so I really wanted to give this story a higher rating, but honestly it was just average. The story was way too long for the content that was included, eight pages of the son suffering before the family (namely the Mom) finally decided to include him?? That made little to no sense to me, and only made the family look even worse in my eyes.

Think about it, the son has a JUSTIFIED reaction after years of feeling alienated by his family, and then finally confronting them weeks after he'd finally discovered why and what was going on. His Mom, of all people, manages to find him later, during which he not only confides in her how he felt, but also reveals that he felt the same way about her and his sister, that they felt about him. He even agrees to come back home, and even makes himself look like the bad guy to his friends, only to face FURTHER alienation and teasing from his family because his Mom chooses to CONTINUE to FORCE him to be left out of the family's "tradition" for another week, while they continue to go about indulging in the very SAME behavior that fostered his feelings of alienation in the first place?

That is appallingly hypocritical, and in no way should the son continue to feel bad for reacting the way he did. Also, to introduce the plot line w/ his girlfriend, but then not bring it to a conclusion before ending the story, is really lazy writing.

Awesome story! The premise of every member of the family experiencing lustful desires for the rest of the family is awesome. This really does need a sequel. Lisa needs to be welcomed into the family, and of course we want to learn of Lisa's lustful desires for her own family.

I felt like I was in the story myself. I felt the emotions Peter felt, the good and the bad. At times I felt like I needed to calm down myself from anxiety and excitement.

This is by far one of the best stories I’ve read in a long time.

I’m inspired to write my own ideas now.

The seed has been sown and Lisa should be brought into the fold. Aunt Danni sucking Peter while Lisa watches and then joins in would be the ideal beginning. The group needs another girl to balance the numbers. I'm looking forward to reading the next adventures.

Stu

This version is better but I still don't think you have the emotions down. Regardless of when he does or doesn't start fucking I don't think feeling ostracized from your entire immediate family for several years goes away in under a week with a side helping of a few blow jobs. Yeah, it turns out best of intentions, road to hell etc, but that wouldn't change the feeling of being an outsider for so long so quickly.

If this was just a 3 page stroke story it wouldn't be worth commenting on but you clearly tried to write something a bit deeper so I think my point is important.

Next part needs to bring in Lisa and have Peters sister both being in love with Peter. And finding a girl for Tommy to bring into the fold.

Fabulous build up to an awesome release! Yes, please bring Lisa into the fold next. So damn hot!!!

The story went down the drain after 4th chapter. Giving him time to think and visiting him half nude, i don't understand the point. The guy is ready, why are you delaying the real act. Cousin and uncle is fucking his sister and his father is fucking is sister and he is left out again why, because he is given time to choose, seriously. It is like now they are fucking each other and telling him. They stopped the pretense.

And in the end the story ended abruptly and I am not even talking about Lisa.

This version is great and it remains possibly my favorite story on this site. It is 100% believable. The love Peter's family has for him, where they want him to join but also want him to be normal, it understandable even if it is difficult. I hope for a real sequel one day.

He is writing the next chapter. I personally hope there is 3 or 5 chapters that gets into the children of Peter, Tommy and Gilesse.

Love this story, and hope someday either Author decides to broaden the story. Questions remain. Is Giselle actually 'in love' with her brother? What will happen with Lisa? Will there be marriages? Children? Will the family secret be revealed? Will there be a new generation?

All good questions and I think a lot of people would love to read the answers.

Thanks to Rexx and Al Anon for posting this story and all the others.

I don't normally comment on stories, but I thought this was the best yet! It was certainly lengthy, which some people take issue with, but I enjoyed the development. Seeing the relational development and the interactions tell the story enhanced the sexual value a million times more for me! Very good writing and very sexy. 10/10.

The story is beautifuly written. amazingly hot.

However, it went off the rails as soon as he came back in the house.

He's been observing constant orgies, all around him. In stealth.

So he was hurt (understandably). The effect was disgustingly rude and hateful.

At least, that's how it felt, and justifiably.

So their 'remedy'. Is to call a 1 week moratorium on him alone as they push him to renew a long distance relationship with is ex girlfriend. All as they restart the constant orgies, only now, with everybody's knowledge.

Insane. Really truly insane.

I'm having serious difficulty getting past page 5.

I can't fathom the writers justification for keeping him celibate. Is that the ONLY conflict he can concieve to drive this story forward?

Ludicrous!!!!

I love and appreciate good character development. It can take several pages to do that, but it's worth it.

This story rambles. I loved it, and gave it 5. However, I saw no value to primary characters enforced blueballs. It frustrated. In my humble opinion, his balls should have been drained by page 5 at latest.

I would love a sequel to this story to find out what happens next.

And would love to see more of Peter watching the rest of the family fuck, especially Giselle

We didn’t want to include you to protect you from our perverted family. We lied to you for years but believe us now when we say we did for you. What a crock of shit this is just not a believable excuse. They had no problem with including the other two teens so I don’t buy their stupid excuse for excluding Peter. I stopped reading this shit after the fifth page because it was just more and more stupid and really unbelievable. I gave it a rating of “1” it could have been a good story but instead turned in a sad and weak story.

Really great story, I loved the struggle!

Loved the story! And would really love a sequel!

One thing that I was missed was Peter fully partaking in a family orgy and I would like to see more of Giselle's sexual adventures and if she is really in love with Peter.

Perhaps pregnancy as well if we're lucky!

And I would really like to know more about Gisele's feelings!

If not Peter then I can see maybe her and Tommy getting together.

family nothing but worthless ass hats just sorry they got caught nothing more. kid should have run the didn't/don't want him involved.

Very well done and so erotic!! Maybe the family finds a way to ease Lisa in in the next chapter?

Very well written. Believably scary. Good reason for birth control.

We need a part 2. I would love to see the college years played out.

One of my favorite stories! Please write part 2 ect and write similiar stories with seperation followed by reconcilation. JB

You may also like "It's A Good Day To Die" by Hawkrider. It's similar to this story but dark. The original story in incomplete but the author has left an alternative dark ending.

While the story was really good, part of me really wished Peter just walked away from it all given how everyone treated him in the beginning. Especially the bits where it felt like they kept throwing it in his face while making him 'wait'.

Loved the plot being unique and good writing all around.

...describes both the story and reactions to it.

For me...it was nothing.

Virtually none of anybody's reactions make sense or are justified (depending on who for which). They already dragged in the sister and cousin, but NOW they are worried about corrupting poor Peter? Even if that were EVER going to be possible, no proper, even semi-logical explanation/rationalization is given.

Some weird...what? Guilt? Makes them foist Peter into a bad relationship with the ex...again, poorly-to-not-at-all explained or fleshed out.

Then we wait forever for them to finally agree he can play their reindeer games.

Why? Also, unexplained is the psychosis for why he even wants any of these whackjobs. Some sub-set of Stockholm-meets-Oedipus?

Underexplored is the sister's attachment.

None of this even gets to some very common complaints like poor grammar/spelling (if this is 'edited', you must all be college freshman), the tropes of huge boobs and giant dicks this site is rife with, or the 'magic' that is always people reaching body parts in ways not physically possible for any human.

Then there are some specific-to-this-story issues like how a 22 year old bought a CONSTRUCTION COMPANY of any size.

If he is such a genius and has so much money, why do the other three work at all?

How stupid were they that they thought they would have an orgy and NEVER get caught with Peter home? Why not go...ANYWHERE ELSE? Better if Peter is suspicious than Peter getting up for water or to pee in the middle of the night...we can see the plot mechanics lurching forward in plain sight.

Which brings up the final point...

How lazy were the combined writers of this piece?

Lack of forethought, lazy plotting (using the term generously), and shortcuts to an unresolved, unsatisfying ending scream "20 something!".

Either it should have been shorter and cut out most of the attempted 'story', or longer with actual attention paid to the plot, let alone myriad details.

The 'first edition' was choppy and indeed poorly constructed.

This version almost seems to be subtraction by addition.

This is amazing. If anyone has anymore stories like this one where the character gets excluded from the family orgy, please let me know.

Needs a sequel. Keep writing, this was amazing!

I feel they were way too harsh (especially for not even having the balls of posting from an actual account...), which makes it obvious that they couldn't author the contents of a cereal box, let alone an in depth tale like this one was... But what does one expect from a troll, I suppose...

My complaints (...and I gave it 4 stars simply because it was well written and I didn't see the supposed multitude of grammatical and spelling mistakes they claim existed) are that you had all that build-up and teasing that you put us and Peter through, then to just tease the readers further with far too brief sex scenes when he finally "got some" (it IS supposed to be a stroke-story after all...). I felt you could have treated us to a much longer scene with our protagonist getting into a nice, long, detailed 3-some or 4-some with all of the ladies as a big finish.

As it turned out, he only got blown by his aunt ( twice back to back...), and fucked by both his mom and sister (twice by mom and once by sis but still lacking in detail on both accounts...) and never getting blown by either of them... I felt like I got "short-changed" when the story ended so abruptly like that. Especially knowing how long he had harbored fantasies about his sister.

Then there was the complete waste of space bringing his ex-girlfriend back as a possibility, then just leaving her as a loose end.

One specific thing I want to dispute was the troll's criticism about a 22 yr old buying a construction firm; My RL cousin was the site superintendent of a multi-million dollar project paid for by a large bank renovating numerous floors of a large office building at the age of 21 (and the kid looked like he was 18 at the time...). Most of the contractors he hired gave him shit exactly one time because of his youth... then were put in their place within moments as they discovered he knew his shit and was not afraid to prove it by cutting them off at the knees right in front of all the other contractors.

more garbage story, without logic, only for the end to have sex you should have had a long time ago, seriously this story should be deleted

literotica please erase this story, I've seen bad stories, but this is complete crap, it took time for him to discover that all the world had sex at home except him, is this guy a retard? he accepts the excuse of nothing like that, seriously, the dumbest story of all I’ve ever read, and look, I’ve read more than 10 thousand stories

We agree this could use a sequel to smooth out the what seemed to be a rushed thing at the end. Would be nice to see something more for our young friend

Well done. Longer stories are wonderful especially if they have great sex and continuity in them. Fantastic story.

Well, I don't usually comment on stories, especially here on Literotica, I won't say like many said that this story should be deleted regardless of how bad of a story it is because I believe everyone should have the space to write whatever they want, but what I want to express is why this story was awful from my POV.

It's an awful story exactly because it's such a ***** blue-balling story and the ending was so unsatisfactory that almost made me cry for the time I lost reading it, despite the dramatic beginning the gave a different thrill to what is usually found in here, I think that using 10 pages to troll a reader is too cruel.

The MC is too much of a wimp, that was clear after reading the first two pages, but after seeing the women he loved and lusted being fucked over and over again while all 'they' allow him to do it is to watch, even after betraying his trust like that on the beginning of the story, it's what gives me this feeling that this story was written by a cuckold, who wanted to scape from the cock-caged loving wives genre.

So this is why this story left me with a very bitter aftertaste, enough to me comment.

So, thank you for the 10 pages of painful blue-balling.

I thik all the teasing banter and flashing, almost sex was the best part. good writting

Still one of the best stories here on this site

What happened to Lisa? I really get tired of reading stories that have no clear cut ending. I wish writers would write the whole story and not leave anything hanging. Even so, I liked the story and gave it a 5 hoping for more.

So the main character's family cucks him because they don't know how to deal with him and the family relations.

Then the main character explodes at them with sexual frustration and emotional pain. (Understandable)

Then his mom cuts off all sexual contact with him and the family BUT they get to fuck each other as much as they want in front of him? That's completely unfair to him and in fact downright evil and I don't understand why he didn't just leave forever or just fuck all the women anyways immediately.

(Thus the reader is blueballed just as much as the main character.)

Either the family should've taken their sex elsewhere for the week or continued not having sex.

Seems this family doesn't love but instead only lusts with no regard to the main character.

And what happened with the girlfriend subplot? It was discarded without a second thought.

This story could've been so much better if the author didn't delay the family relations with the main character until the last two pages. Incredibly frustrating.

1 star for blue balling me till the last two chapters

This story needs a sequel where the author must give more details of Peter fucking the three women of his family. How he has more one-on-one sex with them and then eventually threesomes, foursomes and finally him taking part in their family orgies. Also his relationship with Lisa needs to be explore as well. It would be nice if she is included in Peter's family's lifestyle.

One more thing, IMO, I would like to disagree with anyone calling this a cuckold story. Have they even read an actual cuckold story on this site? There are plenty of them. If the family had completely disallowed Peter from participating in their incest lifestyle and done far worse things to him, that would have made him an actual cuckold, which is not the case here.

It is well established here that Peter's family wanted to talk to him about their incestuous lifestyle when they felt the time was appropriate. I agree they waited far too long to talk to him and he eventually found it out on his own and the rest of the drama ensues. The mother wanted to her son to be able to make a choice between a normal life or an incestuous life. All family members wanted Peter to be part of their family loving. They stopped fucking each other when Peter ran out of home for a week and resumed doing so only after Peter accepted the situation. Of course, they got carried away until they all realized how Peter was suffering. Finally by the third/fourth day itself I guess, it was the mother who broke her resolve and fucked her son. Peter didn't even have to wait for a week. The ending could have been longer with more details of him fucking his sister and aunt too. Anyways, good story.

What utter crap, slut family fucks each other and the son doesn't get any until he finds out that he's not included and then everyone lives happily ever after? I guess a lot of people want sloppy seconds from their dad, cousin, and uncle. No idea why Peter would want such well used and loose holes. Disgusting. 1*

OK, so at least this story didn't pretend to be any other kind of story but an incest orgy story. You knew thats what it was from the beginning. I generally can't stand these kinda of stories, as they are just so ridiculous and unbelievable its not even funny. That said, I didn't hate the premise of this one. The one thing I really hated about it was the selfishness of literally every. single. person. in that family. They are so distraught that he ran away, that when he finally comes back home, and mom wants him to give it deep thought for a week, what do EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the household do? Tease, flash and fuck one another in front of him at every single opportunity. What a bunch of assholes they were. The main character was almost sure what he was going to do, but they pranced around him like total douchebags. And I mean Every Single One of them, especially the complete bitchy twat of a sister.

Lol!! The negative comments just make me laugh. The family is not as bad as some commentators think it is.

It's a nice different approach to an incest story and a new idea. Just wished the ending was not rushed. I have to agree with keki123.

This is one of the few incest stories where at the end I wanted the MC to leave that family behind. He was manipulated, teased, lied to. There was no love in this story.

So two blowjobs and two screws compensate all the years of isolation and neglect? He really sold his soul cheap.

To Tangoperu:

"So two blowjobs and two screws compensate all the years of isolation and neglect?" No, it's the beginning of many more bjs and fucks he is going to get from now onwards from his mom, sis and aunt. He is going to be part of the family orgies in the future. It's a happy ending, albeit a very rushed one. Really, it's not that bad.

I just want to compliment that this was very erotic and a good story overall, kept me engaged and I never like long sex stories but I read it all anyways. I do have a few gripes in the story that I'd like to point out though, I hope you take it with a grain of salt bc this is just my opinion and I'm not a writer myself, I just wanted to say what my thoughts were. Thank you

Why did he need to take a week to think it through and why did Peter wanted to wait, out of respect for his mother? Like he already figured out what he wanted to do, it just felt like you wanted to drag this along and they never waited for the week to be over so why even have that dilemma? It didn't really feel purposeful.

Lisa could have been a great reason why he would contemplate it but she didn't seem too big of a reason why he shouldn't be involve in his families affairs seeing as his mother and uncle had a similar experience. It would have been better to see him struggle to think it through seeing it from both his parents side and his sister and cousin's side as well as Lisa too. He should be the one to say he wanted to think it over imo but later on, all that built up tension just wanting to burst? Idk.

I would also would have liked Peter to have interacted with his Dad and Uncle a bit more to get their perspective and also how they got involved, as well as Aunt Danni. Would have been pretty hot to know how they felt like.

Some parts seem to just be put in for no reason to the story just to make the story longer, like I didn't feel like I needed to know about Peter playing basketball with his buddies.

Would love for a sequel, see how Peter experience in threesomes and other -somes now that he's in it instead of watching, how different it is. Would love to hear more about Lisa and if she would ever come back and join in the incest.

Great story, please do a sequel, you're great

is this story based on a different story? the first like 5-6 pages are written to seem like its setting up with the mom thinking her kid is a cuck, but then it quickly 'evolves' into a very generic incest story. I dunno still one of the best stories on the site but the first half the story is just soo engaging up till around the aunts blowjob scene. so much masterful foreshadowing, the guy constantly brushing off his chances, the mom calling up his ex to get them back together, the mom setting up few days -> week wait time, coming into his room to blueballs him then ditch, its all soo good.

That was nice, but where is the rest of the story? There should at least be another 3 or 4 pages after "lucky."

There's like 8+ pages of build-up and scarcely any pay off whatsoever. Where is the rest of the story which has the payoff? The actual "incest orgy" "family orgy" of the story. It's in the tags, yet to see it in the story however.

A continuation will be much appreciated.

Yeah, sorry, but I stopped reading on page 7. This story is missing the "teasing" and "cuckholding" tags...

This family did EVERYTHING they could think of, to get the guy hot and bothered, and then refuse to help him with it. Even when they know he reached the point of physical pain, no one cared. This is infuriating. I can't believe the guy didn't just pack his shit and left for good!

Can you please write a sequel or a slight rewrite of this?

I wanted to see more of Gisele and her fun, especially with Tommy, might be fun to make Peter a cuck as he watches his cousin fuck his sister.

Only made it to page 3. Jesus that family is fucked up. They didn't want him because they already had 3 guys and 3 female he is the odd guy out. Pack up and get as far away from that shit show as possible

Sarkasmus words are right. Awful story

Literally the BEST story of this specific niche. It really put me on a rolercoaster of resentment, arousal and envy in a way that I can't really describe, but that got my blood pumping like never before. The scene where he spies on his family having sex and the scene where his mother gives him a sorrowful look while his father fucks her under her skirt are undoubtedly my favorite. It is a colossal shame, as many here also say, that you haven't delivered the juiciest bits that were implied, like the MC participating in the orgy, having anal sex or DPing his mom with someone else, etc. Massive potential that wasn't realised and left us hanging. I dearly hope you continue with this masterpiece.

What happened with Lisa? I think you should have continued this story. Another thing you could do is re-write it with him leaving and coming back years later married to Lisa but Lisa knew about it but didn't say anything or join in, that's why she thought it would be hot if she saw him getting a BJ from his aunt.

BTW I don't think his family really cares about him because they knew he was breaking up with Lisa or already broke up with her and still didn't say anything he didn't need to choose because it was already over at that point they should have told him but didn't because they didn't want him to join in hence why the parents were disappointed that he didn't want to go to the camp that year

Read similar story "The Broken Circle" by Tangoperu. Check his other stories on storiesonline.net

Nice story. Would be nice if you included another female character

Nice yet different kind of family incest story but very rushed in the end.

To the anon suggesting The Broken Circle by Tangoperu, it is incomplete, and all his stories on SOL are half-assed and are either rushed to conclusion or incomplete.

Sex. Sex. Sex.

All about it. Isn't it......

How can't people withstand Temptations I'll never get that.

Just give Some Sex and all Rational and Logical things are Fucked Up.

Puff gone with the Smoke.

Learn something from the Broken Circle you morons.

The kid was absolutely justified in being angry with the whole damn family. And then, none of them really give him an apology and continue to torture the poor guy. OK, yeah, this is fantasy, but it would have felt more real if there had been a real discussion around (a) why they really did this to the poor kid, (b) how the whole family was going to make it up to him, and (c) if the kid had manned up and become some kind of Dominant to his sister. You know she wanted him in the worst way possible and would have committed herself to him.

And then... what the heck happened to Lisa?

I do appreciate that Peter's exclusion served the purpose of energizing the sexual tension . The drama is as important as the clinical description of the act . All fucking and no emotional interaction eventually runs it's course . I know from experience many "almosts" creates nuclear sexual tension . There were more than 30 related people in 4 apartments in the house I grew up in . There were bed noises in that house almost every night . Just thinking about that gets me hard

Outstanding

ngl I would've been really disappointed if Peter would've decided against fucking his family. In a way I get what they were trying to do but excluding someone never works out.

I agree that, that family is an immoral bunch of perverts. I found this story a little over the top, too much incest sex and the possibility of a bunch of bastard children. I like the fucking, but how could everyone be so non ho hum about who was to fuck who. I think I would have been somewhat pissed off that everyone was just fucking who ever they wanted and more than once or twice. I would have punched the shit out of Tommy for just taking whoever he wanted. It seemed to me that the son was being ignored most of the time, which would have pissed me off and I would have just packed up and left home.

We need more of this family yes it’s over the top but it’s a fun time reading it

5 stars . I would love to see more stories like this

While this story is fiction, there is somewhere on this planet that the incestuous activities have played out, near word for word. The main character, Peter is a crying ass coward! He has ZERO BACKBONE or an EXTREMELY WEAK INTESTINAL FORTITUDE!! It is absolutely in embarrassing me to make a comment letting all that see it then knows Ive read this garbage. 18 years of age and Peter's actions and mental state is damn similar to that of a 12 or 13 yr old, entitled, and ((this is what actually pisses me off in the story)) he has no ability to stand and back his ideas, beliefs, what he speaks... he is too afraid to grab hold of his life and turn it towards whatever direction he chooses!

You dont jump up, verbally backhand his family members in the middle of their orgy, runaway like a 10 yr old. Stay gone a couple of weeks and then go back home and treat everyone like nothing happened and like they have been lying to him for years! They wanna get mad cause he was investigating and spying but IT NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED if they had not lied to his face for years! Oh, and Tommy, his supposed best friend plants a knife deep between his ribs. Just like his mother, daddy, sister, aunts and uncs. He cant even muster up a small amount of courage, confronting them in the middle of their orgy? Nope, the coward throws a sissy fit and runs off into the night! At the least, he should beat hell out of the guys. Im talking a blood-puddle 1/2inch thick for each bastard that lied to him!

Could have continued on with the girlfriend having phone sex for him tell tell her different scenarios such as the cousin walking in on him and joining in or gangbanging her with all the guys in the story when all the women go out shopping for the day, etc to then slowly bring the girlfriend into it and then let her be visiting for Christmas break or summer and let one of the phonesex scenario’s unfold. Could do the same with the cousins ex-girlfriend too but you already had story going to continue in with the girlfriend.

Nicely written but they all should have had one big one before the closure... Still nice anyway