All Comments on 'The Palmer Legacy Pt. 02'

Love it, I'm wondering if the witch of the North will make an appearance (probably not, but we can hope). I'm guessing the roman twins are only there to get a chick with dick into the story? But some ancient roman influence would be cool.

So will Noah get to fuck Lauren? I'm guessing you won't be doing too much or any of Lauren on Noah, though maybe Lauren on the mum? will Lauren and Noah work together as conquerors? Or maybe theyll be enemies! LOL.

There's still Enki's puzzle to go as well as the mothership and something in the water. But that seems like it would overwhelm the plot.

Chapters 1 - 17 are complete. Chapters will arrive on Literotica about a month apart.

If you want to read them sooner, or feel like supporting my writing, you can do that here: https://rawlyrawls.com

Thanks for reading!

Pretty slow pace.....

I read through all the chapters just to get an idea of the story before carrying on with the reviews. From what I can tell so far... It goes all over the place. The Lauren section seemed to come out of nowhere. I am not saying that part was terrible. It was great. In all chapters. One thought I had was maybe streamlining it. The novel title stays as... The Palmer Legacy... But each chapter focus's on a picture and the family it is working to influence. Like Lauren's chapters could be called... The Shemale Legacy. You can even change different family members perspective even add the perspective of the beings in the picture. What are their abilities, goals. How do they use them? Each being would use their abilities in a different way. Some would use dreams. Some would be a mirror reflection of the person in the real world but... As they moved the person in the real world would act out what the reflection was doing. Sort of like they had no control over their bodies. You see where I am going with this? If you look at your original Palmer book it focused on the house, the Palmer's and the family which moved in. What about the other pictures? What beings and influence do they bring to the table? What is their story? Why can't some of them get more involved like Palmer's and Lauren's picture seem to? Did they have any enemies? I mean some of them remain silent. Also the length... If you look at the original palmer book it had so many chapters. The chapters just focused on the Palmers as a major powerhouse which caused all the sexy dirty fun. What about this story. If you include the other pictures you have to also make them big players as well.

The reason... If you do this and do it well shouldn't the book be way longer? It will also be a whole lot more fun and the buildup to the sex could be even better! Us readers don't mind if you take a bit of time to do this. I ended up reading the Lauren sections a lot. Just skipping through the rest to get to those parts.

Hope you like the advice. Keep it up!