by SexMic
The writing was so terrible that I could not finish it. Get your names straight. Consider such things as correct spelling and definite and indefinite articles it’s been suggested that you find an editor. That will help resolve the ptoblems
but without drugs?? not possible. you should really ask a pro whats possible or not. and if you think the motto of a cheap diner : eat and drink as much as you can for 2$ 95 , in this case women and sex , makes a story more erotic , you're completly mistaken.
great effort. some ?s. how many guys took her to dinner? was this her first club visit or three months later? when is the next story?
As an author the problems I noticed with the story are ones that I tend to have too. Having an editor who is good at catching name errors would be a great help.
The story premise has given me some ideas, so thanks!
If you are going to give people more than one name at least be kind enough to use them all at once. Double names can be annoying, but it would at least be consistant. I spent so much time trying to figure out who a person was that I didn't get much out of the story.
Keeping the names straight is vitally important. The story would have been hot had the names been right.
I'm sorry, but I have to drop this in the poor category since on page one alone the two principle men shared 5 names between them.
A very sexy well written story, I enjoyed the story line very erotic.