All Comments on 'The Passenger'

Really enjoyed it, just seemed a bit rushed at the end.

I understand balclys point but I was more than ready for the end. We knew the ending after the meeting in the school so prolonging the inevitable would just be too cruel. But, I would have been more comfortable if he had let the couple with the diner how what happened. It was a big ask and their trust deserved some response.

Wow, an emotional bombshell!

This should be renamed "the taming of the shrew, Alex".

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My gosh that princess needs a good spanking, if for no other reason then being a hypocrite. How many hours was she involved with the county and she begrudged him an emergency 2hrs = princess on a pedestal. Plus Alex could not look beyond her one grievance when he became a father he did not need be - but for love of a child. I just hope he does not cave to Alex any more than he has- as Alex is near the definition of being a princess-beeeeoch.

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5***** Hooyah, Salutes.... and a favorite story tag

What I was going to say ag2507 already said. Emotional turmoil ending as it had to, with the only thing lacking is no reconnection with Sharon and Mel at the diner whose concern for a young girl barely of age and neither family nor hope gave the whole story direction. They deserved to know of Kelly's death, and that her child has the family and future her mother never did. Still an easy 5.

Nice job. Very good read. Easy five

Another wonderful yarn.

What a cunt! Her over reactions were the reason behind all their problems, and he has to apologize to her? She is going to be a volatile bitch forever... and lets not forget the fact that she gets physically violent when angered. A lawyer committing domestic abuse... I doubt there would be any accountability.

Too many coincidences, too many easy escapes, and too many dei ex machinae.

I Loved It! Yeah, Mel and Sharon (?) need to be informed, and maybe be another set of grandparents.

5-stars, just sorry it couldn't be 10

1. You write well.

2. I liked the surprise reunion.

3, The ending was very Hallmark

Mel's Diner? More twins? Loved it.

You have a gift!!!

Oh yeah, the other comments reminded me, she's also a physically abusive aggressive ass. What a wonderful role model and "parent". I really wish she died instead of Kelly. Also, the fact that the author didn't do anything bad to the rapist and his enables grates on me and makes this awful story even worse.

Great story! I do wish the ending hadn't wrapped up so quick, but I can't say it was incomplete. I see room for a sequel with Mattie and rick some day...LOL! 4.7*

Great story

Remember it is your story so write what you want

BUT...

If you should write an epilogue/sequel please have some:

Bad karma hit the rapist and his wife,

Good karma for Mel and Sharon,

Alexis work on her anger management and she realizes what her role in the breakup was.

Alexis was hurt by the phone call I can see that, and that Matt seemed to have disappear making her a single parent ithat does not make Alexis a bitch just immature and she had to deal with her hasty action.

Great surprise reunion. I expected one but not with a son.

I agree that Mel and Sharon could be grandparents

Your detractors have reading comprehension and emotional stability issues. That’s a great story!

It was already a longish story, but Mattie was basically a cypher. Fleshing out their relationship might have taken too much space, but I think it would have strengthened the story. That said, the author continues to impress with a novel storyline that is fleshed out with great skill.

I'll admit that I made a mistake by not closing the loop with Mel and Sharon at the diner. I need to spend more time tying off loose ends before I post. Thanks for noting that. As always, I appreciate the feedback, whether complimentary or critical.

Yeah, five stars indeed!! The two closures that need to happen are that the six of them need to jump in that RV to ride to Mel’s and Sharon’s diner and tell them the whole story. They’d have to close the place for the rest of the day just to get past the facial water works. THEN, after a short time, a family group photo should be sent to Dr. Martinez with a complete explanation of the whole family, centering on what a happy life Matty is now living. THAT would make it Hallmark.

Nice story overall, but I agree with some other commenters that you gave Alex too many character flaws and didn’t resolve them well enough to make the finale line up well. As a parent, it’s natural to experience some personal growth, and Alex really needed some. This was your opportunity to make her a hurt but viable love interest. Instead, the MC’s reunion with Alex ends up with fits of rage and smacking adults in public — I’d be examining Ricky for signs of child abuse not pining away for a lover from my past. Nevertheless, I like a happy ending…4.

This story is one of the top ten best stories I've read on this site.

Ten stars! I don't understand or sympathize with readers who nitpick on stories they read for free. Let them try to write a story, let alone a great one like yours.

Splendid story! It hit all the right notes.

5

A good, well-written story.

But what's with the twins! Gotta be one of the big literotica tropes for the reconciliation babies (or the new relationship/new start babies) to be twins....

Nicely done, an enjoyable story.

THAT, IS WHAT YOU CALL LOVE AND ROMANCE. ALL THE "SLAM, BAM, THANK YOU MAM, IS B.S.!

CONGRATS ON A GREAT STORY. ALMOST MADE THIS 76 YEAR-OLD MAN WITH COGNITIVE ISSUES,

CRY!

Excellent story !!!

Thank you

Great story. I have read some of the other stories you wrote . They have all been great. Looking forward to reading more of your stories.

5stars

Wow…just wow.

What a great story ! Was that a small tear ?

Great story, well written and very feel good kind of situations.

I find this to be an amazing true to life story.

1) It is essentially the story of my parents, their apart time was 7 years, but there weas no child. A school-mate’s father, who knew them back when, filled me in, but without specifics. I know that they were on a date at an amusement park and she got a ride home with another person. By the time they married they were 30.

2) People with a temper problem can grow out of it. From 12-18 it was m problem. By 25 I was married and that temper was gone. Glad I didn’t marry earlier.

3) Give the author more support. Technically the criticism regarding the café owner’s was valid, but I think that stuff should be sent in a private message to the author, instead of embarrassing him.

I am an author and a book editor. I usually produce in the neighborhood of 400,000 words a year.

I my personal life I would have emailed or called the café owner’s weekly. I am not sure when concentrating of the key themes I would have thought to include it in a story.

Support and encourage those who give us wonderful free entertainment.

The Hoary Cleric

I enjoyed this so much. I'm going to have to come back to this one. I enjoyed the flawed humanity that still managed to grow and develop. Having the kids say a word or two will help bring them to life a bit more as well.

Would have been satisfying to have the protagonist and his fiery lawyer wife load for bear and go after the scumbag foster parents and corrupt police force.