The Perfect Beginning Ch. 06

This is the 4th installment of an ongoing story about Michele a and Tim. For sure, it is a disturbing relationship and is in no way intended to describe something healthy or ideal. Emotional sadism is central to it all. If this bothers you, this is not the story for you and I suggest you venture elsewhere.

What makes the story interesting to me is what takes place in the minds of the characters. Without words and ideas and the feelings that go with them, it's all just mechanics and honestly, that's not so interesting to me. Simple, pure fucking is a great thing to do. I don't need to read about it. Perhaps when I was verrrrrrrry young, that alone would have intrigued me. Now...yawn. This is a dark, emotional journey. I hope you enjoy it.

The following preface is cut and pasted from installment II. For a more comprehensive understanding of their world, you can venture back to the first installment. Read it or skip it.

This story takes place in a very male dominant society, one which is even more patriarchal than our own. Our hero, Michele, is enchanted by the discovery of her own sexual super power. Poor, lucky Tim, on the other hand comes to realize that he falls under Michels's spell, he does not measure up to societal expectations. These two young people are discovering and becoming as they grow together as a couple.

Psychological conflict and tension are central themes in this saga.

*

The story has been formatted to meet the publishing requirement of our host and I am hopeful the necessary kinks have been worked out.

A more complete preface can be found at the beginning of the first installment and if you did not read it, it could be helpful to do so. Here are some of the contextual parameters of the fictional world the story takes place within.

* People are legal adults at 18 years of age.

* People usually live to about 2,000 years of age.

* The cultural norm has almost all legal adults living with their family of origin until they turn 200 years old.

* Young people between the ages of 18 and 200 are treated as and referred to as children when they choose to continue living with their parents.

* Young people between the ages of 18 and 200 often behave much as we would expect teenagers to behave here in our world. They are kept in a state of arrested emotional development.

* Young people between the ages of 18 and 200 years customarily consume "blockers" which prevent them from having sexual feelings or impulses.

* Often young people will begin to "date" around 160 yers of age and while they are expected to continue to take their blockers, some will surreptitiously stop taking them while a few will stop responding to them.

* Age and masculinity are revered in this world. Everybody looks up to their elders and few seriously question the patriarchy.

All characters in the story are over 18 years of age.

It is customary for those below the age of 200 to demonstrate their status by wearing clothing which signify to others that they are off limits. They would wear what we would think of as children's clothing. Remember, an 18 year old and a 1,900 year old would look exactly the same age, so children's clothes are very useful for signaling to those over 200 years to abstain from any romantic or sexual pursuit of another who was deemed of an inappropriate age.

Lastly, sex is not technically illegal for people between the ages of 18 and 200 years. It is considered profoundly taboo. Adult-children (18+) do have sex but it is kept very quiet. Some parents punish their children for engaging in this sinful pleasure and adult-children almost never tell-on one another in this regard, even those who might not like one another. Adult children live by a code and violation of said code subjects one to complete ostracization. Almost none experiment until they are well over 160 years old.

***

"Honestly, it really irritates me sometimes.  He has this ridiculous notion that we are equals and we just aren't and I'm sick and tired of it.  I'm at my limit. Really, I'm not sure I can take much more."

This was a tough topic for Tim and her declaration about being at her limit greatly concerned him as he thought there was a great deal left to say on the matter. 

Certainly there were times when he internalized Michele's superiority and when excited and really feeling the full force of his powerful love for Michele, had no problem celebrating her authority over him.  Yet at other times it was difficult.  He thought it might be because he was not sure it was just, or because it was so hard on his ego.  Unwisely, he sometimes let this show.

"Is that true Tim, do you think you and Michele are equals?"

"Well yeah, we should be, I think."

"No we shouldn't, we could never be equal!  He says silly things like that and then when I put him in his place, show him we are not equal, he gets all whinny like a weak, bitchy, little girl.  Krista, I'm working really hard to make this relationship work and sometimes I just wonder.  Like maybe I'm working too hard."

"Which is it Tim, you are equals or you should be equals?"

"Well...we should be, but Michele doesn't treat me that way," said Tim. 

Exactly where Michele's exasperation came from was unclear to Tim. They'd never actually spoken, in clear terms about the issue. Several times when in dutch with Michele, on the verge of a punishment or when bent over her knee, he'd declared, "It's not fair! Please, Ms. Michele...it's not fair!"

It was unsettling to the boy as there was so much to discuss, yet it seemed to him, just brushing up against the topic was enough to make Michele want to leave him.

Finally they were going to get the bottom of all this.  It was time to bring Michele into the modern world of equality for all.  He was honest enough to know that part of him liked Michele's strength in the relationship; but she was taking things too far.  It was time for a course correction or at least some common sense limitations on it.

"How can you say that?  Last night I put you over my knee and spanked you until you cried and begged me to stop, and now you want me to think we are equals?  Really?  Why?  We're obviously not!"

Tim's face hit the floor.

No, no, no!  Not this!  Please, please, please, no! Not now!

There was something about this whole situation, the therapy and Ms. Krista herself, Tim realized, that had a way of working around his barriers and safeguards. 

He stunned himself in their first meeting by mentioning spanking.  Based on Krista's response, he was ever more hopeful that she'd interpreted the statement as figurative.  It made sense when considering how utterly impossible it would be for this girl to actually be spanking him.

Spanking was something never to be discussed or disclosed in any way, to any body.  Ever.  Yes, Mai knew, but she did not count as their relationship was not personal.  This was the most shameful secret, one he'd die with.

What she was doing with him with the whole panty thing was nothing short of an ordeal.  He hated having to wear them, but they turned him on.  And he'd been exposed in the department store so some already knew.  The emergence of Kimmy terrified him for sure. 

The first real session with Ms. Krista clearly traumatized him but it did bring about a certain strange resolution. While Ms. Krista very effectively highlighted all his shame and even reenforced it, she also encouraged and validated his subordinate status to Michele.  She seemed to think it was totally appropriate and that kind of acceptance made it a little easier. 

He remembered and appreciated sleeping in his panties for the first time that night.

Yet spanking was different.  It was never to be revealed.  Ever.

And now, the love of his life just opened the bag and spilled his shame out onto the floor.

Krista laughed at the spanking reference.  She turned to Michele, "Oh my god, spanking, really?  Good one girl!"  They high-fived as they laughed.  "Oh my goodness!  That's amazing!  You spanked him?" asked with amusement and disbelief in equal measure.

Tim went from thinking that he might get Krista to help him get a tiny bit of leverage in the relationship to feeling two inches tall.  Seeing them celebrate his spanking, and all the many things that it symbolized, sent a spike of emotion through his whole body.  For a moment, he did not think he could breath and he had to control his shaking.

Suddenly he wanted to cry.

Turning back to Tim wearing her therapist's visage, "Tim, once more you are experiencing unhappiness because you are in conflict with what is and what 'should be.'  Once more you are experiencing unhappiness because you cannot accept who you are, who Michele is and the truth of your beautiful relationship.

"I hope you know that this relationship is worth saving.  You will never find another like Michele.  Let me be clear and say to you with absolute assurance, that will never happen.  I don't think you appreciate just how lucky you are."

Tim felt his anxiety shudder through him as he wondered if they were somehow close to breaking up without him knowing it.

"For you and Michele, equality is a mirage and every time you reach for it, it vanishes.  Attaining equality is like grabbing mist. 

"If you would simply accept your truth, you would be soooooo much happier and your relationship with this amazing woman, a woman you are deeply in love with, would be so much richer, so much more fulfilling. 

"And maybe it would have a chance after all," she said ominously.

Turning from her serious address, Krista began laughing.  "I'm sorry but this keeps intruding on my thoughts"  Looking to Michele, Krista broke from her therapist role and asked gleefully, "Oh my god, do you really spank him, Michele?  Like for real?"

Smiling broadly, "Whenever he needs it...and at other times too.  Actually, in some way, he almost always needs it."  Her demeanor was so smug and cool as she openly bragged about what she could do to Tim.

She is, she's bragging! She's bragging about how she spanks me!

His world was upside down.

Once more Krista busted out laughing.  "Oh my god, that's just so beyond..."

Tim felt the tears welling and had to will them not to roll down his red, hot cheeks. 

No, no, no, no!  It can't be like this! 

He hated how emotionally unstable he sometimes got.  He did not think he used to be like this.

"Oh my god, that is hilarious!  He mentioned it in the last session but I actually thought he was speaking metaphorically.  And then I began to wonder...  God, I love you!" 

Of course this was all theatre to make Tim feel all the more ridiculous.  Krista had known about the spanking since the beginning.

Turning back to Tim, Krista was no longer Michele's delightedly cruel, fun loving girlfriend, but rather the professional therapist.  "Michele is right, if you two really were equal, would she be required to spank you?"

"She's not 'required to'..."

"Stop evading the question," interrupted Krista with obvious irritation. 

Looking toward Michele, "Now I see what you've been talking about, it's very immature, very irritating.  

"Sass-mouthing is not going to help you young man!  Remember, this is a therapy session, not some childish argument. 

"Once more: if you were equals, would she need to spank you? Just answer the question if you please and don't irritate me again."

Tim was completely thrown aback.  "I...I don't know..."

"Seriously Tim, I hate to have to spank you," Michele lied.  How she LOVED spanking him!  

Krista appreciated that Michele enforced a false notion that it was only Tim who desired spanking, or any sexual deviance.  Seen this way, Tim was the "pervert", not Michele.  

She and Michele had discussed kink and romantic discipline and she appreciated how much further along in her thinking Michele was than Tim.  Michele merely viewed it as a really erotic game and a very fun way to keep Tim in his place.  She had no judgment of it at all. 

Then again, maybe it was easier to view it all this way as the one doing the spanking and holding all the power.  Compounding it all was that Tim was in the less respected position normally held by the woman in this society.

She maintained her dignity throughout. It went beyond that in her understanding, spanking Tim, everything it represented, bolstered her confidence and elevated her sense of entitlement, self esteem and dignity. When she had him bottom up, over her knee, she sometimes felt she appropriated his self esteem. She walked away strong and self assured. The shame was all his.

"I do it because I have to!" Michele continued.  "I swear, the way you behave sometimes, it's so childish and irresponsible."  Turning to Tim, "And sometimes you are just disrespectful.  Once he's crossed the line, then I do enjoy the spanking but only because I'm helping Tim and putting things right. 

"Krista, I really am just trying to save our relationship.  It really is quite a responsibility to always be the adult.  He's such a child, so immature."  

Looking back to Tim, "Besides, I can't believe how perverted you are, depending on context, you actually like it!  So really, I guess we do it for at least two different reasons.  Tim really does need discipline.  Also, I give him another kind of spanking that he's totally into.  Like, gets all needy for it."

"No I don't 'totally' like it.  It's just that..."

No, no, no, please!  Just stop! 

Tim trailed off, unable to explain his sexual excitement at being spanked by Michele. So badly, he just wanted to give up and start crying in defeat.

Hold on! Oh my god, hold on!

"Is this true Timmy, do you get excited when Michele spanks you?  Does it make your little penis erect"

It was all almost too much to bare and to settle himself he breathed deeply to keep from shaking. 

Krista was cutting down to the bone now.  Spanking was the source of his greatest shame.  This had been exposed.  But now they were going to the real heart of it all. 

It would be one thing if he were say, a prisoner.  If he were a prisoner who got spanked, he reasoned, it would be a whole different thing.  It would be terrible, but he could explain it away as something he endured without choice.  He'd have nothing to justify to himself, let alone others. So much worse was that he was not a prisoner.  He was coerced by a young girl, forced over her knee and spanked like a child.  Spectacularly humiliating and terrible.  Yet Krista was going deeper into it still.  The very worst part of his shame was that somehow he'd come to like it.  He thought he needed it, not to put too fine a point on it. 

How could this be!  How could I be like this!  

"I don't mean to...it's just that...I don't know what happens sometimes..." 

How does she know I have a small penis?  Can she just tell because of the way I am?  Becky said she could tell if a guy was little.  Some women just know! 

His breathing efforts were of little help and immediately reverted once more to short, shallow breaths as panic crept in.

"Interesting.  Tim, tell me, last night, what did you do to deserve a spanky?  What did you do to make Michele spank you?"

"That's not fair Krista...I mean Ms. Krista, I did not make her.  She just did it." 

Spanky? 

He felt a stirring in his panties and cursed himself.

"Did what, Timothy?  Say it.  It's important.  You need to speak of what you are having so much difficulty accepting in your life.  So say it."

"I...I did not make Michele spank me; she just chose to.  Chose to sp...spank me." 

Krista was pleased to take in his anguish.  She felt elevated by it. 

So pretty!

"That's better.  Good.  Say it again. What does Michele do?"

"Michele spanks me."

With a self satisfied smile, she let that just sit for a few beats.

"Yes, of course Michele spanks you. And you acknowledge the choice to spank is Michele's. Very much as it should be. Now tell me what you did to deserve your spanky.  Describe to me how you were a naughty bottom?"

Tim was vaguely thrown off. 

Did she just call me a "naughty bottom?"  Was that phrase already thrown into the conversation?

Michele teasingly called him a "naughty bottom" with great regularity. 

"I...I somehow forgot to iron one of Michele's blouses before I hung it up."

Turning to Michele with sympathy, "Now that is irritating."  

Back to Tim, once more as the slightly displeased therapist,  "Well now I'm the one who's confused.  Isn't it your job to do the laundry?  I mean, you do spend so much time in Michele's house, under her roof, do you not?"

"Uh, yes but..."

"I think we all know who the geisha is.  Does Michele not provide you with very clear and explicit directions and expectations around the house?" 

"No, she does.  She always tells me what to do." 

He hated that Michele could be described as irresponsible in any way and felt he needed to defend her honor.  In the moment, he seemed very proud of the fact that Michele was very good about telling him what to do and how she'd like him to clean her home. Erections always scrambled any sense of reason, logic and most of all, perspective for the poor boy.  He began this session by advocating for equality status, but now he was defending Michele's tyranny.  

"Well then, are you trying to blame Michele for the un-ironed blouse?"

"Oh no!  She totally does...make things clear I mean.  She's really good at it. Telling me what to do.  A lot of times she even gives me a written list."

As any woman would do for her maid.  Ever responsible.  Always dotting her Is and crossing her Ts.

"Of course she does.  She is a responsible adult.  It seems to me you are the one who failed Michele.  Didn't you know this would irritate her?"

"I guess..."

"'I guess'?" she mocked.  "You did or you didn't.  Just admit it, Timothy."

"Well...yes I did but...it's not like I planned it!"

"Did you somehow not know that a spanking would be a natural consequence?"

"Yes, but..."  Michele had conditioned Tim well in this regard.  Agreeing when later he'd curse himself for it.  He'd taken on the role of the appeaser, the mollifier.

"So what I'm hearing is that you want to insist that you two are equal, all the while you are strutting around the house in your cute, little apron shirking your domestic duties as an irresponsible, sass-bottom, while Michele is the one behaving as an adult.  You are an uppity, little geisha-boy, a Little Ms. High and Mighty who thinks she can do anything she wants.  Do you secretly think of yourself as Little Ms. High and Mighty?"

"No, Miss!  No, no, not at all!"

"In the light of day, does this really seem reasonable to you?  Do you really think you should get to be an uppity, irresponsible, Little Miss Sassy-Bottom, without any consequences?  It's time to get real with all this."

Once more, Tim was overwhelmed.  The poor boy did not even know when his penis began to stiffen in all this, when it began to fight the un-winnable fight with his Kitties.  Once more he was the two inch man put in a twelve inch high box he could not climb out of.  Part of him knew all this was wrong. 

Is it professional for her to call me a "Little Miss Sass-Bottom?"  Maybe it is professional when that is so obviously what I am.

"Well, yes I suppose..."

"'Yes?'" she responded with growing and obvious consternation.  "You really think you are being reasonable?  You really do think you are Little Miss High and Mighty!"  Krista was theatrically vexed.

She looked to Tim as though she might want to spank him herself. 

Tim, it seemed, was often the cause of such vexation and he could feel his chest tightening.  Once more the boy's head was aswirl in the confusing whirlpool of conflicting thought and overwhelming shame.  He'd lost the thread of conversation.  "No?  It's not reasonable?"