The Perfect Beginning Ch. 11

This is the 11th installment of an ongoing story about Michele a and Tim. For sure, it is a disturbing relationship and is in no way intended to describe something healthy or ideal. Emotional sadism is central to it all. If this bothers you, this is not the story for you and I suggest you venture elsewhere.

What makes the story interesting to me is what takes place in the minds of the characters. Without words and ideas and the feelings that go with them, it's all just mechanics and honestly, that's not so interesting to me. Simple, pure fucking is a great thing to do. I don't need to read about it. Perhaps when I was verrrrrrrry young, that alone would have intrigued me. Now...yawn. This is a dark, emotional journey. I hope you enjoy it.

The following preface is cut and pasted from installment II. For a more comprehensive understanding of their world, you can venture back to the first installment. Read it or skip it.

This story takes place in a very male dominant society, one which is even more patriarchal than our own. Our hero, Michele, is enchanted by the discovery of her own sexual super power. Poor, lucky Tim, on the other hand comes to realize that he falls under Michels's spell, he does not measure up to societal expectations. These two young people are discovering and becoming as they grow together as a couple.

Psychological conflict and tension are central themes in this saga.

*

The story has been formatted to meet the publishing requirement of our host and I am hopeful the necessary kinks have been worked out.

A more complete preface can be found at the beginning of the first installment and if you did not read it, it could be helpful to do so. Here are some of the contextual parameters of the fictional world the story takes place within.

* People are legal adults at 18 years of age.

* People usually live to about 2,000 years of age.

* The cultural norm has almost all legal adults living with their family of origin until they turn 200 years old.

* Young people between the ages of 18 and 200 are treated as and referred to as children when they choose to continue living with their parents.

* Young people between the ages of 18 and 200 often behave much as we would expect teenagers to behave here in our world. They are kept in a state of arrested emotional development.

* Young people between the ages of 18 and 200 years customarily consume "blockers" which prevent them from having sexual feelings or impulses.

* Often young people will begin to "date" around 160 yers of age and while they are expected to continue to take their blockers, some will surreptitiously stop taking them while a few will stop responding to them.

* Age and masculinity are revered in this world. Everybody looks up to their elders and few seriously question the patriarchy.

All characters in the story are over 18 years of age.

It is customary for those below the age of 200 to demonstrate their status by wearing clothing which signify to others that they are off limits. They would wear what we would think of as children's clothing. Remember, an 18 year old and a 1,900 year old would look exactly the same age, so children's clothes are very useful for signaling to those over 200 years to abstain from any romantic or sexual pursuit of another who was deemed of an inappropriate age.

Lastly, sex is not technically illegal for people between the ages of 18 and 200 years. It is considered profoundly taboo. Adult-children (18+) do have sex but it is kept very quiet. Some parents punish their children for engaging in this sinful pleasure and adult-children almost never tell-on one another in this regard, even those who might not like one another. Adult children live by a code and violation of said code subjects one to complete ostracization. Almost none experiment until they are well over 160 years old.

****

Dear Diary,

I don't really have words.  When I think about what we did today, my face gets red.  Amazing?  I'll just put down this one word.  Princess.  One day, if I ever read over this, I'll smile.  We discovered something we both really, really, REALLY enjoyed, today and I think we are going to be enjoying it a lot... like all the time in the future.  God, want it again right now.  Feeling so pretty!  Happy!

****

As a 130 something year old and several years into the relationship, Michele still loved everything about having a live-in boyfriend and Donna was no less pleased with the arrangement. 

Although Tim continued to struggle with aspects of his status and Michele's expectations, he dove deeper and deeper into his role as Michele's submissive.  In certain ways, he was so well trained, he did not even question behavior that would certainly have struck him as shocking prior to his relationship with Michele.  Simply put, life was easier, simpler and more satisfying when he submitted to Michele, when he obeyed her. 

He still could not think objectively about the relationship, for when he did, it caused him anxiety.  Conscience consideration of who he was and what he did still bothered him and maybe always would.  

Secretly, he still wanted to think of himself as a man.

****

Dear Diary,

Things are going really well between Tim and me.  He really does mean a lot to me and I value him so much.  Aside from our incredible intimacy, we share a really wonderful and caring relationship. 

I love doing things with him like going for walks and seeing movies and singing in the car together.  I like his insights on things...as long as I approve. Smiles. 

I love how that with only a few... I don't know, suggestions(?), he tends to understand what I think is important for him to understand.  He gets that things are not totally normal between us, yet they are normal to us. 

Sometimes it could be hard for him when we are in public because he might not know what I expect of him.  Hell, sometimes I don't even know what I want until I want it.  But he's learned to pay close attention.  I suppose that's what happens when you get embarrassed a few times in front of others. 

Besides, nothing teaches like a hot spanking.  Spankings is still the ultimate and I honestly think I'll need it for the rest of my life. Love how it turns me on like nothing else, but also calms and settles me. Love how it bonds Tim and me. Love how it feels. Love how it looks. Love how it... Fill in the blank cuz it's the ultimate! Pop!

"Please, please, I'll be good!  I promise!"  Ha-ha...LOVE when he cries something like that when I spank him!!!  Puts me in the very best mood!

Back to my little relationship summary: Of course I have expectations and he is pretty good about abiding by them.  He is so good about how he addresses me as Ms. Michele at all times and he is always deferential. 

But except for the whole Ms. thing, and those few times I've put him in his place, it's all pretty subtle.  And I think a lot of people either ignore the Ms. title or assume it is a cute game or nickname.  I'm OK with that a long as he behaves accordingly...and he does. 

I love him.  We are just so comfortable with one another because we know each other so well.  I love my boy and I love my life...

****

Normally, Tim picked Michele up from school at the end of her day; it was just one of his daily duties. 

One day however, he picked up his Love from Tanya's house. On the occasion, he stopped in to say hello to Tanya and Cindy as well as one of Cindy's friends.  The girls all smiled at Tim expectantly as he and Michele were on their way out, though Tim did not give it much thought.  As they drove home Michele seemed ill at ease, even though she smiled and professed she was in a good mood.  

She told Tim of a conversation she had with Tanya, Cindy and Allison.  Tanya and she had walked in when by chance, Allison and Cindy were talking animately about how boys, when off their blockers, jerked off all the time and how funny they thought that was. 

This immediately provoked discomfort with Michele, though she did her best to hide it.  As they went on about this topic, she was unable to contain herself, she spoke up (she was very well respected by the older girls since it was well understood that Michele had much more all around experience with men than either of the other two experienced, young women, claiming that Tim did not masturbate at all.   

"So, do you give him head all day or like what?" asked Allison, knowing this would provoke, the Boy Tamer.  

When Michele proudly told them she never got Tim off, Cindy and Allison laughed at Michele's naivety. 

Despite just the smallest seed of doubt, Michele adamantly defended Tim's fidelity. 

It was clear to all three girls that Michele was being defensive and clearly just trying to defend her own image as a boy tamer and to cover her ignorance of a commonly understood fact of life.  After many a giggle, they humored Michele and "accepted" her appraisal of Tim's non-existent masturbatory habits.  

As Tim listened to the story Michele told him, he felt himself shrinking as he knew what was coming. 

"Those girls just don't know what they are talking about."  

After letting it hang out there for the silent twenty seconds that felt to both of them like five minutes, Michele could not help herself any longer.  "So?"

"So what?" Tim asked furtively, feigning innocent, ignorance.  

And then she knew.  She'd been a fool and it came crashing down on her.

Had he not been driving, she'd have slapped him for his obvious evasion.  Her anxiety bloomed into clearly apparent irritation.

"So what?" asked with impatient distain.  "So how about it?  They were wrong weren't they?  I mean do you masturbate behind my back?"  

Tim felt himself teetering over the edge. 

Though she'd never told him not to masturbate, he intentionally kept this secret from her, for he knew intuitively that she'd not allow it, or more accurately, forbid it.  It was a lie of omission that he'd kept from her for years.  He wanted to lie again, explicitly now, so badly but knew she'd see right through his deception.  He could not lie to Michele. 

"Michele, I'm...I'm so sorry.  I didn't know you would..."

"Not another word!  Don't speak a single word!" Michele hissed.   She sat, arms crossed in front of her, lips tightly clamped together, silently raging.  What he had done was bad.  He should never have kept this from her.  They both knew she'd never allow it. 

What she did not want to admit to herself was that at least half her anger came from her embarrassment.  She knew now she looked like a naive girl to Cindy and Allison and this was intolerable!  

As they passed through the front door and passed Donna, "Go to my room and position the spanking chair.  Not a word out of you.  Think carefully about what you've done."  

Donna's mouth dropped open as her eyes went wide.

In the living room, Michele took a moment to gather herself.  Breathing deeply while reflecting on the situation, she knew at least half of this was her fault; Tim was her responsibility and she'd failed to care for him in the proper way. 

She knew well that their relationship was about much more than sex and maid service, for god's sake!  She knew that Tim depended on her to set firm behavioral boundaries and limitations.  It fell on her to keep him safe and secure, in her home, under her loving and guiding hand.  In this way, she'd failed her loving boy. 

Only adding to it all was looking the fool in front of her friends.  She'd deal with her failings.  

She'd start by dealing with her boy.  He needed her love; he needed to be punished.  Although angry, this was her time; she enjoyed putting things in order.  She considered what she'd say, how she'd maximize her impact on the boy.

*

Though unclear about pertinent details, Donna knew her daughter was upset.  She stood back and watched Michele staring out of the living room window, seemingly in deep concentration. 

She wanted to say something to Michele as her daughter walked past her, but the focused anger and concern coming off her daughter left Donna speechless.  Donna actually found herself a little scared for Tim and wondered what he'd done to upset Michele so much. 

"Let me know if I can help, honey."

She couldn't, of course, this was on Michele.

Donna decided to give Selma, her next door neighbor a visit.  Perhaps she'd ask for a cup of sugar.

As Donna made her way, Michele's words played back in her mind, "...go to my room...spanking chair..."  More impactful was the way she spoke to him.  She spoke like an angry mother would speak to a child, her son. 

Oh, to speak to a man that way, oh my.  Oh my goodness!

*

Clear in mind, she entered her room and found Tim standing in position, to the left of and behind the spanking chair.  She put on some music to mask the sounds they would soon be making 

"Eyes to me."

Tim knew he was in big trouble and he was scared. 

Yet he was also pissed off.  This was a situation of Michele's making and he was just a victim.  She did not get him off but she got to cum all the time. 

Worse, far worse, was that she was having an affair with his best friend...and who knew who else (this was a thought he almost never considered because it so unnerved him.)  

It took all his will to look at Michele.  Tim never got over his amazement of Her.  Though athletic and strong for her size, she was small, petite and in blunt terms, short.  Tim towered over her and though thin himself, he was much stronger than her. 

Yet to Tim, she always looked bigger than him.  No matter where they were, She always owned the room.  Without effort, she projected power and confidence. 

He knew that in public, strangers might not see her as powerful, but her confidence was unmistakable and impossible to miss.  People gravitated toward her warm smile, sure stride and confident charisma. 

On this day, it was no different: she was the most alluring and beautiful being he'd ever seen, yet his dire situation, a situation of his making, made it so hard to look at her; looking at Michele was like looking at the sun.  He'd disappointed Michele and it was so hard to face his failings all of which were reflected in her cross expression.

But, no, no, no, this is her fault! 

He went back and forth.

Her stride was sure and her bearing stern.  Standing before her, he'd swear he was somehow looking up at her.  

"I want you to know that I'm very sorry.  A great deal of this is my fault."  

This was not at all what Tim expected to hear and it was reflected in the puzzled expression on his face.  

"I should have seen this coming and...and I failed you.  I must be a big disappointment to you as I am very disappointed in myself."  

Tim felt himself sinking. 

No, no, no!  What?

"I need to take much better care of you."  

Tim felt his breath taken away.  Michele felt guilt and pain and it was all his fault...she was taking the blame.  Suddenly, his feelings of guilt magnified one hundred times. 

He could not stand it, "Ms. Michele, please forgive me, but you are wrong." 

He knew he was taking a tremendous risk by interrupting her during a scolding but he could not let her go on.  "This is not your fault at all.  It is mine, all of it!  I'm the one who...who...  You mustn't blame yourself.  It's all my fault."

"Quiet now, little boy.  I have failed you."  

With Michele blaming herself for his deceit, the boy also realized his fear level was spiking.  He was awash in guilt, fear and confusion.  To cause her to feel this way underscored just how terrible his actions were. 

He was on the brink of a total panic attack.  He realized it was even getting hard to breath.  Already the tears were welling.  He was just a lost, little boy who needed Michele to steady and right him.  He was broken and only she could fix him. 

God, what have I done! 

How could I have failed her?  He'd do anything, but in the years he'd been with Michele, he'd come to understand there was only one truth.  Only the love of his life, only Michele, Ms. Michele could ever really make things right.  Her wisdom and care, directed with love through her guiding hand, could correct him and make things right again. 

He'd do anything for Mother's forgiveness. 

His expression and posture spoke of his extreme guilt and utter dependence on her.  To her, it was life giving.  She loved that she was his savior.  Never more than now had she been so in touch with her maternal instinct.  She wanted to fully embrace this facet of her being and more fully explore a new realm in their relationship. 

Part of her just wanted to hold him, kiss him and fill him with tender love.  That time would come. 

Another part of her could not wait to spank him and punish him until the tears spilled and washed away her anger.  That time was very near at hand. 

Another part of her could have stood there forever in this perfect moment, in the midst of their perfect ceremony, savoring his submission and his fear and feeling their perfect love.  

Now she would correct him.  Her whole body tingled.  She loved punishing her boy; she loved being his savior.

"Yet neither of us is without fault, Timothy.  Now we will deal with you, dear boy."  

"Yes, Mother."

Michele nodded her approval; he understood his situation.  She sat in the chair and he positioned himself between her legs.  He was always thrown off by the conflicting feelings of fear and comfort he took when clamped between her legs.  He began to erect.  

As she slowly unbuttoned his jeans, "And Mother is most displeased.  Tell me what you've done, naughty boy."

"I...I...I lied to you."  He felt his pants lowered to his knees.  she unclamped his legs, lowered his jeans to his ankles and he stepped out of them.  He stood before her in nothing but his pink Tinker Bell bikinis.  He did not dare cover himself, but he hated being erect when she was displeased with him.  He felt her legs come back together over his own, holding him securely in place.

"You did more than lie to me Timothy, you cheated on me.  You used your imagination to have an affair, or affairs behind my back."

This was preposterous and Tim wanted to say as much.  For god's sake, she told him she was not going to get him off!  Actually, she said she was not going to suck him off, but so what, the result was the same.  What was he supposed to do?  

She saw the pained indignation on his face and allowed herself a slight smile and a malicious gleam in her eye.  How many children look at their mother's with that same pouty "this isn't fair!" look? 

In her mocking, totally bitchy, little girl voice, "Is little Timmy mad 'cause it's just like soooooooo unfair?'"  Michele absolutely loved using her peekaboo-baby voice to devastating effect. 

Back to being the adult, "Is Mother just so mean to little Timmy?"  

He suffered the injustice and indignity in silence.  Outwardly, "No, Mommy."

Oh how she loved twisting his mind around her will.  Michele loved having a double standard.  She loved being outrageously unfair.  She loved that so often he could say nothing about it.  She loved that if he was somehow able to muster his courage and found the words to protest, she could force him to admit how unreasonable he was being.  No matter how unfair she was, she could get him to admit that he was wrong, she was right and apologize to her for it.  And she was pretty sure that in most cases, especially over time, she could get him to start to believe it too. 

And then she could get him to accept punishment, usually in the form of a spanking all as a consequence of her outrageous behavior and utterly selfish expectations.

Remember now, what's good for me is good for us.

She was glad he was hard.  This frustrated penis...

Thank you very much panties.