All Comments on 'The Perfect Pieces Ch. 13'

Good story. Chapter one set the stage followed faithfully through.

Another great story. I’m a fan

I enjoyed this story but like all of your long stories, I think they are too long. Amber switching her affections from Pablo to our hero seemed too quick although we do not have any idea of how long a time elapsed between leaving Pablo and bumping into our hero. You did have her say that she stayed with Pablo more for the money and the life-style than for love. Maybe that is enough of an explanation.

Happy ending. Romantic. But is it really so? She's a very confused or a very devious woman. Does he truly know her well enough to propose? Even if she professes her love for him, how does he know whether it's true or fake? He has saved her from the DEA, fine. That was enough to satisfy his conscience regarding the child. Prudence recommends he wait for a few months to really check her out, to know her more, before proposing. Still a good story.

Yaay!!!! Thank you!

Another outstanding story.A plague on the morons who caused this fine writer to stop.

Wow! Loved it!

Dang you DreamCloud, it's almost 1 in the morning but I had to finish this one! Great flow, attention to details, and character development. I hope there are many more to come.

Pretty good handle on the story arc rationale.

Re: why didn't Samantha have bank accts Amber could access?

1. $10,000 bank transaction limit notification law. Any transaction of $10k or more is reported to US gov. If you're a successful drug dealer, first challenge is what to do w/ all the cash. Start depositing/withdrawing more than $10k, & you won't be a drug dealer very long, successful, or not.

That leaves a chit load of < $10k bank accts to keep track of, or money laundering. Then there's the aspect of living beyond one's means. If you have no job, how did you afford the house, car(s), food, clothes, etc.

All kinds of schemes have been tried, & failed; drag racing, ('90's West coast cocaine scheme), art work, (US & European schemes, multiple times), real estate, same, rare cars, same... no scheme works. Even 'good' laundering schemes eventualy get people busted.

The only scheme that 'works' is a short term involvement so you're not dealing w/ storage containers of cash. Transfer cash to negotiable bonds/jewels/gold in small purchases, then lead a normal life. Supplement a job's income, & always have a rainy day fund for life's inevitable problems.

Takes discipline, & not being greedy. Done right, an otherwise normal life can have a few 'lucky' breaks, here & there, & wealth can be gained, legally.

Can it really be done? Well, I do seem to know how to do it, & I came up in the '60-'70's before guns were more important than scales, (scales could be a challenge back then.. no Amazon. There was a small college town w/ a small, outdoor, downtown mall. The mall had a USPS mailing kiosk w/ a scale, available 24-7. A small college town @ 3-4:00am, back then, was real dead.

An enterprising young businessman w/ a bicycle, back pack & some plastic bags, nerves of steel & a bit of craziness could, in <15min, split a kilo of weed into 1/4 pounds & some stash/samples. No need for anything smaller; weed was sold in 'lids', either 3 finger, or 4 finger in the '70's!)

Just sayin'... ;-)

Great story. In the mid eighties I lived in San Diego. Cartel violence was getting a lot of press. There was even rogue San Diego police invading Mexico setting up ambushes for traffickers.

It seems very believable that the DEA was illegally operating in Mexico

So many readers have been asking questions about Amber being the head of a drug empire, why did SHE run? And other questions along those lines.

Amber was a clever girl, yes she was the person who put that drug crew together, but she also knew there would be more credibility if a man was at the top of the pyramid. So, she wanted people to think Pablo was the big boss of the growing drug crew. Amber was happy with where they were at - not too big, but by no means small either.

Pablo started to think in bigger terms and the only way to get bigger at that point would be to tie in with one of the ruthless Mexican drug cartels. Sure, your profits will increase substantially, but now you work for the Cartel. Mexican drug Cartels are pure evil. Amber knew that joining the Cartel would be a bad decision and she was against it. Pablo, believing the hype that he was really the badass running the operation made a deal with the Cartel against Amber's wishes. Amber knew that it was over. She would be a Cartel stooge. It would only be a matter of time before the DEA got her or the Cartel bosses woke up on the wrong side of the bed and ordered her killed.

She knew about that first big shipment of Mexican smack. $1,000,000 load coming in setup by PABLO and the Cartel. Well, she knew her role was secret - to outsiders she was just Pablo's girlfriend. She had that 1st load stolen because she IS powerful but the Cartel is only aware of Pablo, so all blame falls onto him. She figured the Cartel would chop Pablo into pieces over the load million-dollar shipment and she could sail off into the sunset - the Cartel doesn't give a shit about some white girl Pablo fucks...she's nothing. But things didn't go exactly as she hoped and she knew Pablo would want that million-dollar load of heroin back and then he'd shoot her in the face for setting him up to be murdered by the Cartel. Shit....even the DEA thought Amber was just some piece of pussy who played a minor role in PABLO's drug business.

She went on the run because she knew Pablo would be looking for her and perhaps Pablo even told the Cartel about her - who she really was in the organization and how SHE stole their 1 million-dollar shipment of heroin. It was definitely in her best interest to get the fuck out of Dodge and stay gone.

What I didn't understand is if she was the boss for years while they went from small-time to big-time drug dealers, wouldn't she have had some bank accounts scattered around that only she knew about so if she ever had to hit the bricks for ANY reason, she would have resources she could count on if she were ever on the run for whomever.

At one time this author said he wasn't a writer. However I can see his creative mindset as he tries to flesh out his stories with his serendipitous touches. He is a real storyteller with surprising embellishments and it is a pleasant experience as his skill creates a tapestry of adventure, redemption and romance.

I wish his updated opus could also be listed on literotica.com. He is also quite a bard.

Loved it. As I do all of your stories!

Fantastic could be made into film just one question has he burnt a bridge with gabby and frank or are they still friends

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading all 13 chapters of this delightful story . A good story line with some very interesting characters . Thank you again

I agree fully with MrFriendly. This was an excellent story with fantastic start that was written before you'd planned out how it finished. The last several chapters lost the quality of pacing and writing.

Well written, enjoyable story with engaging characters. The final touch lead we readers to believe that Amber had truly changed her ways and I, for one, hope she had. I do sympathize with those who thought she should’ve paid some price for her past. Thank you again for the offering!

Fantastic storytelling!!! No 10" dicks or 44" tits. Excellent!!!!!

My only problem with this story is that if Amber was the head of the group why did she steal heroin and run after 11 years? Why take 1 million in drugs when she most likely had access to a bunch of cash as well? I really liked the set up of the story - damaged artist learning to trust a woman with a dangerous past. But once it became "badass" with secret past and the head of the drug gang(?) fall in love in two short weeks I was less enthralled. Still very well written as usual and 5* throughout, just not a fan of forgiving a woman who created a drug empire and happily hooked people on drugs for 11 years.

Past, Present, Future.

Why it took me so long to find this short story is beyond me, however now that I have, my mind is filled with images as if they were my very own memories. Why this happened I do not know, but I can only guess it is because of your talent as a writer that kept my mind and thoughts gobbling up every word. Somehow I know I wouldn’t have enjoyed this story nearly as much when you posted it, (past) those are surely my own insecurities and immaturity in years gone by. Certainly I recognise many of Mark,s hermit time as where I currently am in my life(present). How life seems oddly lonely and fulfilled at this time. What gives me hope for the (Future) is the way you wove so many possibilities for romance and love, through so many aspects of insecurity, untruths and a fantastic plot. GREAT PIECE OF WORK. thank you.

Story makes me wish I was a movie producer w big bucks and could hire DreamCloud to do the screenplay w full artistic control. WDYT. Bradley Cooper. Jennifer Lawrence? Kathy Bates and Chris Cooper? Helen Mirren as Deputy Secretary? How would you cast it?

Thank you so much for this wonderful story!

The only gripe about this story is that it ended. I know it needed too but I'm almost through with all you have on Literotica and I'm sad there won't be more. Such wonderful stories. Thank you for sharing them. 5*

Not all can be wrong with the world when we have weavers of fantasy such as our wonderful author Dream Cloud.

Then we know that "God is in his heaven". Dream on dear author and weave us more dreams. LP

Two broken people. She knew she was wrong, he thought he was fighting for the good. Both renounce their previous lives and find a way to live and raise a daughter. Great story.

Thank YOU for all!

What a great story. A few times where the local pollen got into my eyes. I can read stories like this all day long. Loved the various twists in the story line. Great Read!!

Thank You!

I’m sorry for the way you were treated, especially since it means no more wonderful new stories from DreamCloud. We miss your gift of caring humanity. It’s no accident several of your stories are on Literotica’s all time best list. I reread them frequently, still moved to tears by them. Although I have no way of knowing, I like to think you still enjoy comments from your fans and somewhere you’re publishing, receiving the tons of royalties you richly deserve.

The only problem i have with your stories.. Is that there aren't enough of them... I know that I'm not the first to say this... But you have a unique gift...

-jaye-

Your stories have made my sleeve wet with tears. Sometimes tear of joy at the beauty of your writing, sometimes tears of sympathy with the characters. You are easily one of the best authors on this site. Well done. Please keep writing.

Usually if he hates something in a story, it gets rated down. Here he hated the message, ignored the awful typos and still gave it 5*. Usually I rate things better than he does but in this case, and for the same reasons, I have to rate the whole series no greater than a 4*.

A very enjoyable story.

Well worded and well written. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Could have been longer, but it still made for a great read. Thanks

I predict another big disappointment in his future. Enjoy it while it lasts, Mark!

They found out where Amber was when Mark called Pablo from his own cell phone. I would guess they waited to arrest her until they felt they had the evidence they needed, with all their ts' crossed and is' dotted.

And ended up rereading this one. I hope you’re doing well and that your pen never runs out of ink. A fan

The drug smuggler surely didn't know. Something missing here.

I spent all my spare time reading this masterpiece and I felt emotionally invested in this story which doesn't happen often you are personally one of my favorite authors on literotica thank you for not going in detail about Marks dick or Ambers vagina

The ending was so so I didn't really connect with it like I did with all the other chapters but then again it must've been difficult to write and end this series so over all great story and I truly loved it

Loved Amber in the beginning...by the end no feelings for her....felt sorry for mark over and over again...and dear Lizzy...what can I say...Disappointed would be too much as you tried controlling it by the end and kind of succeeded. But common Amber was a druglord for Christs sake...imagine how many deaths she must have caused...why threaten the security of country for love/criminal? That was like crime of the highest level...you can just kill him after a few years cause he is a liability now. There are many sides to this story so I really don't know what to make sense of the characters...one person I feel deserved better was Traci.

She's a pathological liar plus a drug lord. He's a paid assassin. They blackmail the government to be left alone. Just two crappy people dragging a uninformed kid through life. The best way for this story to end would be for the kid to end up with Grandma and the two of them die in a gunfight with the cartel. Really disappointed with this story.

I enjoyed it thoroughly from beginning to end. Thank you for sharing your imagination and writing talent with us.

What typos/spelling/grammar errors? I was too busy enjoying a bloody good story to notice.

What a ride. A twisting, well thought out plot. Believable, likeable characters with interesting back stories. The sex scenes mesh nicely with the plot and are written with warmth and realism - none of the eleven-inch-cock-pneumatic-boobs-pornstar-shagathon bollocks that ruins so much erotic fiction.

Quality writing.

I liked the fact that the sex scenes were told without resorting to the use of vulgar language! An added bonus for me as a glass artist, was his pleasure from working with glass.

Many thanks for your story’s have started reading again after not for some years to the people that have left comments about bad grammar and spelling it’s free and most books are proof read at least once before it goes to print very good will carry on reading and you keep on writing.

Can stick their Grammar/Spelling Nazism up their Brown Puckered Rosebuds.

That is if they can get the Dildos out from up there first.

I am always amazed at how some of these Grammar Twat Waffles Bitch about Spelling while reading a Frackin story FOR FREE.

And then the Gutless Douche Canoes don't have the Man-Balls to even put their name to the comment. Pussies.

A really magnetic story, I couldn't put it down. Yes there are a few typo's and grammar issues but too few to spoil the reading.

You are a telented writer DreamCloud, Please don't be deterred by the odd spiteful comment.

throughout.

... typos and naive errors with homonyms:

phase vs faze

all be it vs albeit

reign vs rein

console vs council

halve vs half

too vs to

your vs you’re

knelled vs knelt

A not so sweet romance centered around my favorite hobby

I enjoyed it

I needed this story.

In your prefise, you said you threw this in the trash. You were bullied to publish. It should have stayed there. Had this been my first reading of your work, I would not have read anything else. Absolutely pathetic.

The DSoS didn't deserve anything but crushed hopes and shattered dreams for her part in the crushing of hopes and shattering dreams of random people implied throughout the story.

That being said, you shouldn't let the thieves dictate sharing your stories here.

In some ways this was an emotional rollercoaster because you took it to some unexpected places, but I liked to be surprised. On the other hand, part of the plot required a hefty suspension of disbelief. That's pretty much what you can expect from Hollywood, but I prefer to see/read tales that could happen or have happened in real life.

Anyway, my rambling aside, I did enjoy this story and personal preferences aside your chapter ratings are absolutely deserved. Well done also on the editing front, I never go looking for technical issues, but I keep stumbling over them anyway more often than not. This time everything was great.

Another outstanding story from Dream Cloud. The twists and turns were really good. As usual, every character was an essential part of the story. Without cute Lizzy it would not have been anywhere near as good as it was. You bring life to your characters as only a true professional writer can. Every scene is sufficient to grant the reader a mental picture.

I think your best work was The Link followed closely by The Promise, The Mountain, The Cotillion, and the Rehab. All I can say is thank you for the many hours you spent on creating such wonderful stories. I have enjoyed the experience of living through your creations. My only regret is not being able to better compensate you for your time and effort.

Live long and well.

Thank you Lori for encouraging him to submit this story. It really expressed a lot of human emotion and frailty. I loved it.

Next time though, try "knelt" instead of "knelled" or "kneeled", for being on ones knees.

I would hope that by now you would know that I. Love your stories very much , I can't say that this ending was all that good, For me, it seemed to lose something in the power of the spell you hold over every one who reads these story's, you draw us in then take us for a ride, in which we are happy to go on. Agent Singer should be expounded on, if she can be unhappy about her relationship, then she can try to fix it as well. Please take this farther than just these 13 chapters there is so much to love, and Lizzy has her own needs as well . like growing up with some one who can love and keep her in a stable loving home life. Where she can grow into a young lady that can learn to make good and proper choices, where the balance is self worth and Love. So She can learn that morals and ethics have a higher place. In the bigger schemes of life. And it isn't always just about yourself,but others that make up the home life. that Family and good friends, Can fill a void that no one else can. And that it's important that she knows she is. Loved by her mother and father.

There are so many things, I Want to say, or to give you Ideas, ….! Thank you for your stories …! R.W.

You are larger than literotica. Hope you are writing books and stuff. But hey, keep the lit stuff coming!

Another of your wonderful stories.

Somehow I never thought of myself as a lover of romance literature, but your characters and your plots have me hooked.

Please keep it up, for your readers.

:)

Now that I have skimmed the last 4 chapters I can get some work done before I revisit this story.

Thank you.

And thanks for introducing me to the music of Dido. It's now playing on Spotify.

Like Mark I stopped listening to new music in the nineties (unlike Marc I even shunned the radio). That rap music with all the violence and postering (imho there are just two rap songs: 1) I have more money and bitches than anyone else. You disagree? I'll cap your ass. And 2) all the ladies in the house, drop your panties because I want to see your genitals. Yo! I wanna see your genitals etc)

But hey, maybe I'm mistaken. It has happened before. :P

Your story telling was riveting, well written, and kept me reading. Didn't want to stop till I finished this one. Well Done! Looking forward to reading more of your stories!!!

It's going to be very painful going back to the standard Lit story. I think this is ruining me for all other authors. :-)

It is rare for me to start one of these series and feel like I can't put it down. The story had strong characters and a great story line. Please continue to write and give us more enjoyable stories.

Woodbgood

Great Story! Nice work! Keep getting better

Wow

Another amazing story

Please keep up your amazing stories

I still think you should have bumped Amber off and then have Mark marry Lizzy's 3rd grade teacher or something. Oh well...

Great story, great writing - as usual. Thanks!

Truly amazing story.

It's not the kind of story I was expecting to start reading the whole series, but I really liked it. I must clarify that the past of the characters was not to my liking, but that is due to my own personal demons. Nothing to do with story itself.

This is a story of romance and redemption, for the two protagonists.

DreamCloud, you're still my favorite author.

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

Great read! Couldn't put it down, I couldn't wait to find out why Amber lied each time. Her flawed reasoning was so stupid but so human. The blackmail was unexpected and made me smile when it worked out. Mark was right, he was owed a bit of happiness after his service. I personally know so many soldiers with PTSD that, even though I know this is fiction, it felt good to see one get something for his efforts. Who cares if Amber didn't deserve to go free. The story is about Mark and your writing makes the reader want to see him happy. I'm only sad because I think I've now read all of your submissions! Awesome work!

Sure, this was fantasy. He's a killer with a long history of asassination although supposedly for a good cause. She's a drug lord with over a decade of drug sales which probably resulted in more innocent deaths than his asassinations. They both run out of self justification for what they do and find solace in their mutual love, helped, of course, by an adorable child. Is this a real world scenario? Absolutely not! Samantha/Amber struggles with her exit from the drug world, but somehow manages to give up on the wealth and power that were hers to conrol. Mark had been more comfortable with his withdrawal from the agent role and had found peace in the woods with his glass art. I could empathize with him and sympathize with her, but somehow I could find his "crimes" more acceptable because he felt he was doing a patriot's job although he ended up killing innocents. There is no justification for what she did and her pardon is dead wrong. And Mark's blackmailing the government to free a drug lord is also wrong. This whole thing was a good read, but it leaves one with a bad taste. I gave it a 5*, but I really hated the message.

How many kids would she have been responsible for killing with the drugs she peddled? It seems that prison doesn't do a very good job at rehabilitation---perhaps the drug pushers should all be set free from jail so they can self-rehabilitate like Amber, without retribution? You are a fantastic writer with tremendous imagination, although you stretched it a little too far this time.

Excellent Material to Read.Absolutely Marvellous from 1-13. and to Tim413413 for selfless editing

Thank you for this thoroughly enjoyable gem with its so appealing three characters. As I said previously, the rich dialogue and plot twists gave readers mini-cliffhangers from paragraph to paragraph. Would have been such a loss to have trashed the story, and in the future if you ever even consider such a thing with one of your pieces please allow your readers to decide. This is as good as any of your works I have read in my opinion except two. Care to guess?

Please listen to "Pretend - by Scott Porter" it was the first thing I remembered after reading this wonderful story. You won't regret it :)

This is a comment for all 13 chapters.

I have to admit that I was quite angry and disappointed that Amber was the bad guy but was pleasantly surprised that she ended up being a nice shade of grey. Lizzie ended up being my favorite, she was just too sweet to resist.

I loved the entire story!

...It's what's inside that matters.

And You Sir, have so much inside. I can't get enough.

I do have to say, I prefer one chapter with 23 pages, over 13 chapters at 1-2 pages each. It may be easier on Tim and Lit, but I would rather click the next page, than have to go back and find the next chapter (If I can remember which one I just read).

Regardless, I will always be Anxious to start, Scared of the twist, Happy to be sucked into the mind of your characters and sad when it end.

Regardless of how you cut it, you never fail to earn 5 Stars.

Thank You!

What a sensational story and a delight to read.

I have read your writings. Some twice over. You a have a blend of charm and style. You writings never fail to leave me softly sighing and and smiling. Doesn't get much better than this. Look forward to more.

A rare story, thank you for sharing it.

Perfect

Wow, what a roller coaster. Very, very well written. I will read all your published prose here on Lit. I don't know of your personal or professional constraints, but I for one like longer chapters. Being purely selfish of course, but you don't know the whims or musings of your tribe until they are presented. Thanks for a wonderful tale and hope to expound with more exuberance at future readings.

I come back to read your stories! Including your latest which is huge in terms of pages. Read it twice already!

Thank you for sharing on Lit, for free!

Your ability to draw us readers in is amazing as is your character development.

If you publish, I'd love to know.

Thanks you.

C

Gosh where to begin? I've read everything you have written and then a second time in some cases. I've never told my wife but OH HOW I WANT TO! I want so much to share with her the richness of life I find in your writings. Yes I really would like to know who you are and if you are published under a different name and then again no I don't. For me you are hidden treasure which has helped to love my wife on some many deeper levels. Thank you with all my gratitude, thank you.

Warmly and with gratefulness,

Nico

I just finished reading everything you have published here, many of them for the second time, and they are every bit as wonderful as when I first encountered them. A few minor quibbles over grammatical errors, but the quality of the stories quickly overcame that. Thank you for keeping me entertained.

Negative comments by anonymous readers should always hold no sway. I wish it had been longer.

And about 10 chapters too many.

Said it best. I feel very honored to have shared in these written adventures and I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I closed my eyes and could envision each stained glass piece and piece of glass that Mark described, perfectly! You are a true literary master and the entire world should know of the gift that you possess. I only wish that I had two copies of each story (paper and hardback). One for my library shelves (display) and one for my bedroom bookcase (reading). You are a literary marvel!

Who are you... really...

-jaye-

when you can make me like unsavory characters. As I have said before, you are the most amazing writer I have encountered in over 60 years of reading. With a good publisher and editor you could make some serious money. I don't joke about good books. The fact that you have provided your stories to me as a gift, asking for no money, is not something I will forget.

Epilogue was icing on a perfect cake. Amazing story. This series, once again, would make a great movie. J-Lo and Gerard Butler as leads. Excellent!

I like what you write. It is so addicting. I can't stop reading until i get to the end.

Yoshi

Well done!!! Dam good read.....The whole thing!

This was a very rewarding story. It took a couple of more than gray characters and with the help of a child lightened their hearts and lives. Thanks and keep writing.

I really hope you get paid to write.

Your characters are so great, I fall in love with them!

Thank you for sharing your gift with us, I can't get enough of your stories.

Surprised there was no discussion with Amber over the stormy piece he made upon his return from Phoenix. Would have led nicely into a discussion on the pain she caused.

Although there are still a couple of spelling errors and grammatical lapses.

All in all a great improvement on your earlier work, although very limited in its appeal - very much a story written for an American audience.

The rest of the world (and much of the younger generation besides) has pretty much lost it's admiration and/or affection for the once-great us-of-a, the undisputed home of modern-day political correctness and black privilege.

Turn your mind outwards and find a focus outside of the decaying corpse that is America today, and you will assuredly find a literary focus that will allow you to grow and find the exposure you obviously deserve.

Oh, and get yourself a second editor to keep the first one honest.

Truly Remarkable

YES YES YES please keep writing

Such beautiful entertainment so well crafted

Bravo

you are a true gift to this world. started reading your stories 2 weeks ago and am running out soon. even at work, cant stay away.

your insight, the thoughts of the characters, the storyline, so well written. and i like the fact that you covered so many different aspects of life in those stories. it feels so real.

wish you a lot of luck so you can keep writing these jewels.

I have decided that you should honestly try writing a full on novel. you might need to tame down the sexual side a bit but your character development and plot lines are amazing. I am constantly frustrated that you cannot put out new stories as fast as I can read. keep on thrilling us with new stories pretty please.

DreamCloud's stories are so beautifully and well written. They are heartwarming and bring joy and happiness to the readers. He is truly a talented writer and we are most fortunate that he has chosen to share his talent on this site for us. So, thank you DreamCloud for making me lose sleep and meals because I can't tear myself away from your stories to do what needs to be done. I know I am only one of many, but thank you for your incredible skill and talent.

Lovely work, well constructed characters. I could see them in your words. Two flawed parts into one perfect whole (well as close to perfection as any couple can be).