The Perils of Love Ch. 02

Her words glared at me. Even if they'd been in bold, italicized, flashing text, they couldn't have been more clear.

She'd said it . I felt it, but she revealed it . I felt incredible joy as I typed the next four words but dreaded the rest.

I love you, too! But this can't end well. I'm graduating in a few weeks and moving a lot farther away.

There was another long delay.

I know. But whenever it is, it's going to hurt to say goodbye. Can you come back again? One more time?

I can, but I'm not sure if I want to. Can I think about it?

A few moments later, the system indicated she'd signed out. It was so out of the ordinary for Sunny to not say a farewell. I realized my horribly worded response had seriously hurt her.

I was awake all night. I couldn't sleep. I anguished over what I should do.

Sunny was correct. There was no easy ending. If I'd said goodbye right then, it would have hurt. If I said goodbye in another week, it would still be painful. But I realized a final fantastic weekend with her could precede what we both knew was coming anyway. It could be an intermission preceding an already inevitable end.

The next day, I fell asleep in two classes which was something I'd never done before. After dinner, I logged on. She wasn't there. I waited for a few hours, but she never came online. I sent her an offline message.

Sunny, I really needed to think. I shouldn't have said I wasn't sure if I want to see you again, because I do.

I should've said I wasn't sure if I SHOULD see you again. There's a difference.

I'm sorry I said it that way. I'm sorry I upset you. But thinking did me a lot of good. I realized you are right, and I'd really like to see you again this weekend. One more time. If that's okay with you, let me know. It's your choice.

I logged in the next morning, but there was no answer to the message. Still none that evening.

Finally, an answer was in my mailbox on Wednesday night. My thumb hovered over the space bar as I debated whether or not to open it. I felt like both Schrödinger and his cat.

I opened it.

Yes! But now you can't come Friday because I have to work late. Come Saturday morning. Thank you!!! :* :* :*

It felt like Saturday took forever to arrive. I drove away from my campus at 4:00am to ensure I arrived at Sunny's before the "permitted" hours. I sat in my car in a parking lot for twenty minutes until right before 9:00am.

I finally knocked on her door, and damn , she looked good. She was seriously "cutie-pied." She was wearing wonderfully snug white denim shorts and a green V-neck tee. She had her hair pulled back into a ponytail tied with a ribbon.

Before I could finish taking mental pictures, she grabbed me by my shirt, pulled me into her room, shut the door, and kissed me more fiercely than any kiss I'd ever experienced. I lost track of time while holding and squeezing and petting and kissing that beautiful woman.

I can't recall everything we did that day, but somehow, we managed to fill it. I remember playing cards while we talked. I played with her hair and made her laugh a lot by doing goofy things with it. I remember how I managed to wreck it pretty badly, but she seemed so totally okay needing to spend twenty minutes repairing it as beautifully as it had looked when I'd arrived. We talked. We talked a lot. I remember pouncing on her after lunch and tickling her to the point she screamed so loudly someone knocked on her door. Sunny convinced the knocker she thought she'd seen a mouse.

I sat on the floor, and she straddled my torso to sit in my lap. She held herself close to me with her arms and legs wrapped around me. We embraced each other fiercely and kissed. We kissed until our lips were sore.

And we talked some more. We went to dinner. And guess what? We talked there, too. But as much as we conversed, we never broached the subject of an ending. It was obvious neither of us was willing to touch the topic with a ten-foot pole. But it gnawed at me how, in all likelihood, I had only about twelve hours remaining in the wonderful escape.

As we drove back to her complex, I asked, "Are you sure you don't want me to go to the Best Western?"

It was the hotel I'd stayed at the prior Friday night and where Dork was abandoned by himself for twenty-four hours.

Sunny studied my face in thought. "Yeah. I'm sure. But we'd better hurry up. It's almost nine."

When we arrived at her suite, I asked, "Where's your posse?"

"My what?"

"Your security posse. Your suitees." I re-used the word and pointed at the adjoining door.

"Oh. I don't know. I begged the hell out of them to make themselves scarce."

I had no intentions at all asking more questions about it.

She excused herself for a minute carrying nothing but some pajama bottoms. She returned carrying nothing but her denim shorts. She politely turned her back, so I didn't mind her being in the room as I changed out of my jeans and into some sleep shorts.

She locked the door, removed her shirt and bra, then led me to her bed. I stopped her and held her at arm's length studying her bare chest in the full light of the room. Her breasts again stunned me. They were … awesome. They were inches from my hands, and then they weren't as I cupped them and fondled her, feeling their weight, texture, warmth, and their succulent nipples.

She pushed me aggressively to her bed and climbed on top of me.

She pressed her open pelvis into me, grinding firmly against me. I had to draw my knees up a little to reduce the pressure she was putting on my erection because she was using so much force it actually hurt.

She ground. She groaned. She took my hands and pressed them to her tits.

"Oh … what's happ⁠—Oh jeez … oh !" she whispered as her grinding picked up pace.

"Oh, god !" she gasped.

Her eyes flew open then clamped closed and she stopped moving. She was pressing my hands to her breasts so forcefully my fingertips and her flesh under them paled. It was all very, very new to me. Her face looked like she was in extreme distress. I was about to panic until she collapsed onto my chest and began breathing again.

"Oh, Gary! You got me so … I am so … I swear to god I've never … I'm sorry, but it felt so good and I didn't know what was happening and I couldn't help myself!"

All the past-tense words bounced in my head, and I wondered if she'd had an orgasm by dry-humping me.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, baby."

Baby ?! Why the hell did I say that?!

I wanted to feel her skin against mine, so I gently nudged her off me so I could take off my tee. She settled herself comfortably with her left shoulder under my right arm, tracing her fingers through the hair on my chest. She nuzzled her nose into me and sighed. I felt the hair move with her breath. I could feel her breast pressed into me. She hooked her right thigh across my pelvis. I knew she felt my hardness because she rearranged herself so her leg wasn't atop it.

She rested comfortably on me as I stroked whatever bare skin my hands could reach. I loved feeling her skin respond to my caresses, and I loved the sound of her breath as it changed subtly with my touch. It made me feel wonderful she was feeling good.

After a few minutes, she scooched up a foot or so and offered a breast to me. I happily suckled it. She rolled to her right, onto her back, and I followed, rolling to my side to take her other nipple between my lips.

Her left thigh went atop and across my curled legs. We were very comfortably intertwined. I softly stroked her breasts and felt the subtle ridges of muscles in her firm, taut tummy.

When my hand reached the elastic of her shorts, I moved one palm's-width lower, feeling the warmth through the soft fabric. She didn't stop my hand, but I felt compelled to ask her for permission.

"Can I … touch you?"

"Yes," she whispered and nodded. "You can."

I had no earthly idea what I was doing, but I knew I didn't want to frighten or hurt her. I simply lowered my hand farther and nestled my palm into the fleece between her legs. My mind almost exploded. I was holding a gorgeous woman's crotch in my hand, and I could feel her heat. Her shorts were very warm and humid in the center. I gently massaged her there. I traced her contours with my fingers softly brushing her. She opened her legs wider, and I explored her, feeling, learning.

I stroked her inner thigh, slipped my hand into the leg of her shorts, and felt the crotch of her panties. The thin material was sodden. The sensation of touching wet panties made me so aroused I thought my dick was going to rupture. I could feel hair hidden under the expanse of fabric. I could feel with my fingertips the coarse strands which had escaped the elastic.

Unlike through her fleece bottoms, I could feel her lips underneath the gusset of her panties. I brushed my fingers through the full length of her slit and heard her gasp when they reached the top. She moved her right leg off the bed and put her foot on the floor. Her legs were spread widely as I explored the first genitals I'd ever touched other than my own.

I explored the terrain again and earned two more gasps. The first came when I began to travel back down her groove, and another, accompanied by a quick twitch of muscles when I reached the cleft of her bottom.

I laced my fingertips under the elastic at the leg and touched her flesh. My mind was reeling as I felt her very warm, thick, slick, furry, arousal-glazed labia. The textures and complexity of what I felt with my fingers ensorcelled me. She was so wet and slippery my mind threw out all its fantasies as falsehoods.

She rocked her hips and brushed herself against my fingers. I found her opening and carefully slipped my middle finger into her vagina. She groaned softly as I slowly penetrated her. There were wonderful noises. I heard delicious, barely audible, sizzle-like sounds as I moved my fingertip in slow circles inside her.

My brain screamed at me because certain senses were being left out of the experience. It craved more. It needed more. It had to know . I slowly removed my hand. My eyes caught sight of the glossiness on my middle finger and the tips of its neighbors as I brought my hand to my face. I was afraid to inhale because I'd heard horror stories. I smelled my fingers and my sinuses tingled.

The aroma was so enticing. So alluring . I'd never smelled anything even remotely like it and my mind struggled against the task of matching it to something known.

She didn't smell like flowers, or warm sugar, or vanilla. She also didn't smell at all unpleasant like any of the gag-inducing descriptions I'd heard "experienced" guys use. She smelled like … she smelled like she did, and I adored it.

I brought her essence to my mouth and my brain overloaded. Every hair on my body stood on end as my tongue tasted her most intimate offerings. I sucked my middle finger, removing all traces of Sunny's wetness, replacing it with my own mouth's water. I hoped she didn't hear me moaning as my senses were fully engaged in experiencing her. If I'd not had a line, I would have ripped the remaining clothes off her body and shoved my tongue into her. I would have tried to lick the back of her navel from the inside.

But I did have a line, and I wasn't going to cross it.

I returned my hand to her warmth, and she began to shiver. I pushed into her folds, and her pelvis moved firmly against it.

"Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop ," she jabbered raggedly.

She grabbed my forearm with both hands and slid one farther down to mine. Her right leg rose and crossed knees with her left, locking me in place with all four limbs holding my palm firmly against her sex.

"Oh, god ," she uttered in staccato as I clutched her.

"Oh god oh god oh god oh god," she panted as her legs began to relax. My fingers were wonderfully slicked.

Her hands relaxed. Her arm rose and rested across her forehead. Her facial muscles came back to life, and she smiled at me serenely as I moved to kiss her.

"I've never felt like that. I've never … and now twice. I never imagined anything could feel so good."

I rolled onto my back, supporting my head with my left arm curled underneath it. Sunny nestled into me and sighed, rubbing my chest with her hand and my thighs with her leg. After several minutes of comforting, mutual caresses, her hand slowly moved lower. She felt my abs quiver in ticklish reflex with her too-light touch, and she added some pressure.

When she met the waistband of my shorts, she shyly asked, "May I?"

I nodded instead of speaking, but I knew she would feel the motion.

Her fingers entered my clothes, brushed my knob, and I regretted my answer.

I should have taken a mental cold shower for a few minutes because I was so completely and totally aroused by her that my own orgasm arrived instantly. In a futile attempt to arrest it, I grabbed her wrist and forcefully pulled her out of my shorts. It had the opposite effect. The passing of her evicted fingers right at the end of my shaft was enough to make me lose it.

I ejaculated into my clothing in utter, complete silence. I was embarrassed by my lack of control. As a result, I enjoyed the very brief moment not a single bit.

Only then did I realize my grasp on Sunny's arm was forceful and aggressive, and I released it immediately. I laid there, silent, wondering what was wrong with me.

I felt her move away, adding distance, and I realized we should have been sharing tight embraces, smiles, giggles, kisses, and the contentedness of incredible mutual satisfaction.

Instead, I heard a quiet cry and felt her body quiver as she tried to stifle it. I did nothing to comfort her. I laid quietly for several minutes, hearing an occasional sniffle, and I did nothing .

I should've leaned into pleasure, as she had, instead of refusing it. I should've pressed her hand to me so she could stay in contact through it, just as she had with mine, instead of forcing her away from me. I should've released the captured groans of pleasure, and audibly shared what should have been agonizing bliss with her just as she had.

I should not have been embarrassed by the fact that, because I was intimately touched for the very first time, and by a sexy, gorgeous, incredible woman who had offered the feel, scents, sounds, and flavors of her body to me, my own exploded in two seconds.

Who the hell did I think I was?

I had hurt her feelings. I realized she only wanted to experience me. She had pulled me tight to her and allowed me to explore her and to revel and share in her pleasure, then I denied her! I should have been honest and laughed off my early eruption as the intense compliment it should have been, but instead, I hurt her. I hurt her !

I loathed myself. I was so ashamed and pissed at myself I childishly felt I had no option but to leave. My abdominal muscles tightened in the initial effort to sit up.

"What did I do wrong, Gary? What? What did I do?"

Oh, my god, I wanted to absolutely die when I heard those words. Holy hell, she was blaming herself! I wanted to die. I really did.

"You did nothing wrong. I'm an asshole. I didn't … My god I'm so sorry. Please believe me. You did nothing wrong." I felt tears of guilt starting to well in my eyes.

I reached my arm around her to try to comfort her and she slapped it so forcefully her fingernails scraped across my forearm in the follow-through. The searing pain shocked me.

"Get off of me!" she coughed and pushed me away.

I complied immediately and stood next to her roommate's bed, trying to rub out the sting on my skin and wishing I could drop dead. "Sunny⁠—"

"Shut up! Just shut the hell up unless you're going to tell me what I did!"

I tried to find an answer, but my delay must have been too long.

"Wow. You really are an asshole!"

"God, Sunny! Just give me a minute! You did nothing wrong ! I don't know how to answer you! But God's honest truth, you didn't do anything wrong!"

"Then why did you about break my wrist?"

"Jeez, Sunny, look !" I pointed at the front of my soiled shorts.

"Oh my god! Thanks for embarrassing me! Excuse the hell out of me for being so turned on by you and getting it on you⁠—"

"That's not you! That's from me !"

Her eyes went wide for a moment as she looked at the spots again. "What?"

I was too embarrassed to say it again.

"What⁠— So that's … so you⁠—"

"Yeah."

"Then why are you being this way?" she cried. "What … what did I do wrong?"

"It was too much! I couldn't hold it back. Sunny, I feel like an idiot saying this, but I've never been touched like that before. And you⁠—"

"And you think I have?"

"I didn't say that! But you … you seem so in control of yourself⁠—"

"Control ? If I was in control of myself, you'd be in a hotel or in your own dorm right now!"

Her revelation hit me in the chest.

"Oh my god, Sunny. You're right."

"What? Wh⁠—what? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I've been so self-absorbed. I was still trying to stay in control when you touched me, and I'm pissed off and ashamed for losing it. I'm sorry. I really am. I should have just … stayed in the moment with you."

I paused. "Sunny, I'm so in love with you it hurts. I don't deserve you."

"Why not, baby?"

Oh, god , she said the word, too. It squeaked as she swallowed a cry with tears in her eyes.

"Because I have to live a thousand miles from here."

"Don't you think I know that?"

"I know you do! And I know it's my fault!"

"It is your fault!"

I considered those four words and accepted the blame. "I can't figure any of this out. I'm sorry. Do you want me to leave?"

She stared at my feet, then quietly said, "That would probably be best."

Her answer broke my heart, but I deserved it.

"Okay. I understand. Give me a few minutes to get dressed."

I picked up my jeans, shoes, socks, and tee-shirt from the floor and brought them with my backpack into the suite's bathroom to clean myself. I washed myself at the sink as best I could with toilet paper. I'd packed a change of clothes and I put on the clean pair of briefs.

I splashed cold water on my face and stared for several minutes watching some asshole in the mirror who was shaking his head at me in disdain and contempt. I vigorously displayed to him the middle fingers of both hands. I despised him for allowing me to hurt that woman.

I was about to step into my jeans when I heard a subtle tapping. I stood motionless, not sure what it was. There was another barely louder set of taps. They were coming from the closed bathroom door.

I opened it slightly and saw Sunny's teared eyes.

"I'm almost done⁠—"

"Be quiet for a minute. Come here and listen to me," she said.

I followed her the few steps back into her room.

"I want to ask you something before you go. Please, yes or no, okay?"

"Okay," I said.

"Are you angry?"

"Yeah."

"Are you angry with me?"

"No."

"Are you upset that I touched you?"

"No. I said you cou⁠—"

"Are you angry that you lost control?"

I considered her question for a few seconds. "Yeah."

"Are you angry you lost control … to me?"