The Perils of Love Ch. 07

I pulled up the spreadsheet. It had a few false starts before I successfully created a formula to extrapolate my numbers into a series. With the data, I plotted a graph depicting "interest level." The curve trended asymptotically toward zero. The hockey-stick shape in the trend was so obvious it startled me.

It was imprecise, but it was a start. Whatever happened seemed as if it occurred between eleven and fourteen months earlier.

I went back to the hotel.

Something had happened. Something unknown. Did I do something? Was it all my own doing? I had no idea. But somewhere, sometime long before, something happened. That much I already knew, but then I knew more about the timing involved.

I needed more information. A suspicious time window was a little clearer, but I needed to know what was going on during the span. What events occurred? Where had we been? What had we done?

I looked through my calendar. There weren't any project meetings or reviews during that time I thought were too crazy or stressful to the point I might have brought bad actions or destructive moods home.

I'd traveled a couple of times. I was on two international trips during the wide window. The first trip was a three-day to Mexico City. The second was over the Christmas holidays when I spent almost three weeks in Taiwan on very little notice. They don't celebrate the holiday there, so it was almost a full-on month of work including busy days at the plant on weekends.

I couldn't imagine it being the genesis. My wife was justifiably frustrated I'd be absent, and I remember telling her she had every right to be upset. But the girls were adaptive and had no problems celebrating the late event after I'd returned home. I even brought back special gifts which could only be found overseas. They were delighted with their uniqueness.

Besides. I'd already asked if I'd done something wrong, and always got a "No," at least when she'd answer me at all. I wished I had a copy of her day planner, but there was no way I was going to get my hands on it.

I stared at the plot and superimposed the two-week period onto it. That part of the line was relatively flat, which meant it was all within the margin of error, so, maybe something happened while I was out of town.

I stared at a minuscule smudge on the wall, using it as the focal point on a blank canvas on which I could visualize things. I must have been doing it for hours, because I startled myself awake, still sitting at the desk. I closed my laptop and went to bed.

Tuesday was too busy to think about anything other than work. There was an accident with an injury the prior night at one of the local facilities, and I was the on-call safety engineer. It consumed the better part of ten hours of me going back and forth between inspectors, OSHA, and other agencies making sure facts were kept straight. It was also my job to ensure uninformed employees kept their mouths shut and not voice speculation or rumors to officials.

When I returned to the hotel, I stared at the same smudge on the wall I'd focused on the night before.

"Get out of your own head," said the voices of Samantha and Liv, in unison, in my mind. I left my room and went to a liquor store where I bought a bottle of Jack Black and a two-liter bottle of Diet Coke.

I put down a few shots and my brain began to loosen its hold on itself. I'd already mapped out concurrent entries from my own calendar. I didn't have Samantha's calendar, but wondered if there might have been anything in emails she'd sent me during that time period, plus or minus two months on either side of the two-week trip.

November 17: Don't forget Mandy's school play is at 7:00. She looks so cute in her costume. Please try to be there by 6:45? I'll save you a seat. Love you! (*smooch*)

November 23: Can you stop on your way home and get another one-pound bag of fresh cranberries? The pound I bought yesterday isn't going to be enough. (*kisses*)

November 28: [[ATTACHMENTS]] This is so weird. Check it out. I've been invited to an all-expenses-paid Christmas party at the corporate headquarters in Atlanta. No one else in my group got an invite but take a look at the venue in this PDF. It looks incredible! We should go! Love you, baby!

December 3: They need an RSVP by December 10. Should I accept? I think it would be fun and my supervisor (he's going, too, it turns out) says this kind of thing is a great networking opportunity. He says networking with corporate folks is good for staying visible for a possible promotion. He's really pushing me to go. We can talk about it tonight. Love you!

December 5: I'm still peeved that you're going to be gone for Christmas. You owe me BIG TIME. (*smile*). I'll see if Suzie can take care of the kiddos while we're both gone.

December 7: Suzie called and said she'll watch the girls for the few days I'm in Atlanta. We owe her BIG since it's taking a bite out of her holiday. I think she's passing up some serious overtime pay at the hospital. Baby, I wish wish wish you could come with me!!

December 9: Hey, my love! How was your flight? I could barely sleep last night. Just like every other time you go away, it takes me a few nights to adjust to not having you snuggled next to me and holding me tight. Love you!

December 9: Maybe I should have asked first. Does your company dig into your emails? If they do, I hope they see that your wife loves the crap out of you! (*kisses and hugs*)

December 9: [/encrypted/] I forgot I could do that! Since this is encrypted, can I say I want you to come home and take care of something for me? (*kisses with tongue*)

December 9: [/encrypted/] Well, if the Russians are decrypting my emails, they'll know my husband is an incredible hottie. (*Tight squeezes for you, not them*)

December 15: [/encrypted/] Good GOD, Gary! Why do you torture me like that? I'm sitting here at the airport and I might have to go change my panties because you're making me wet!

December 15: Hey, baby! Just landed in Atlanta! My boss is acting kinda goofy all of a sudden. I bumped into him at the hotel and he's going on and on so much about how glad he is I came on the trip. Weird, huh?

December 16: Getting dressed and ready for the party. I'm starting to wish I hadn't come. I'm ready for it to be over and be home. Love you!

December 17: Is there any way at all you can come home sooner?

December 17: I understand.

December 17: I'm at the airport to fly home. I need to hold my babies.

December 20: I'm okay.

December 24: I already said I'm fine so please stop asking, okay?

The hairs on the back of my neck were standing up. I took a gulp of Jack straight from the bottle. I looked at the clock. It was 12:32am. I swallowed another deep swig. How could I not have noticed?! Was I that fucking blind ?

I logged into the corporate network and sent two emails. The first was to my supervisor.

I need to take at least the first half of today off. I'm sorry for the short notice, but it's a family thing. Call me on my cell if something needs my attention. If you don't hear anything from me before lunch, it means I need to take the whole day.

The second:

Liv, I'm taking the morning off. No, I'm not crazy, and no, I'm not playing baseball. I hope you remember what that means. But would you please meet me for lunch at Richy's at 1300? I really need your advice on something. Please text me before 1100 so I know.

I set an alarm on my phone before I drank another big slug of Jack. I wanted a hot shower. I felt good. Not because I was drunk, which I kind of was, but because I had hope.

When I got out of the shower, I saw I'd received an iMessage.

Sure. See you then.

I turned on the TV and tuned it to CNN. I knew their brainless talking heads would lull me to sleep and I set the shutoff timer for thirty minutes.

My alarm woke me up at 6:30am.

I raced through my morning routine and jumped into my truck. I drove home in time to see my babies walking out the front door with my wife.

"Daddy !" they squealed simultaneously, running to me as I exited my truck.

I grasped them both in my arms and squeezed them until they grunted.

"My beautiful baby birds!" I said as they hugged me fiercely. I looked at my wife and saw a smile.

"I don't want you two to miss the bus. Y'all better get moving!"

My wife and I watched the pair walk briskly down the sidewalk to the corner where their bus would pick them up. She didn't speak until I followed her into the house, into our bedroom, and started rooting through her jewelry box.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Looking for this," I said, showing her my wedding band.

"Why?"

"I'm taking it to a jeweler as soon as they open. I need to have it resized. I miss the weight of it on my finger. It's been too long."

She followed me to the kitchen and watched me as I put it in a small zip-top snack bag and put it in my pocket.

"But why now?" she asked.

"Because you made a vow to me with this ring, and I made a mistake in not keeping it on my finger. I made a vow to you with the one you're wearing right now. I need the reminder."

I had other reasons, too, but I wasn't going to go into them then.

She stared at me wordlessly.

"Samantha, I don't expect an answer right this minute, but I'm going to ask you a question. What happened at your company's Christmas party in Atlanta?"

I saw her face blanch.

"Wh⁠—what?"

"You heard me. Did something happen when you went to your corporate holiday party when I was in Taiwan?"

"What makes you say that?" she said with an agitated voice.

"Like I said, I don't expect an answer right now. But your reaction tells me I'm on to something. You need to figure it out. I know you need to get ready for work, and I need to get my ring to the jeweler."

"I'm not going to work," she said quietly.

"Oh? You okay? Are you ill?"

"No. I quit last week. Thursday was my last day."

Her words shocked me.

"When were you planning on telling me?!"

"Well, you haven't been around much lately, have you? I resigned. So what?"

I didn't have any answer. Despite her combative attitude, she was right. I hadn't been around much. I wasn't going to start yet another battle.

"We can talk about this some other time. I'm going to get out of your hair."

"Will you come home tonight?"

"No. Not tonight. Love on our babies. Let them love on you a little, too, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

It was about 8:30am when I left the house and headed for a jeweler which advertised expedited work. It would be at a premium price, but it was vitally important to me. I had to correct an egregious error.

I arrived at the jeweler at 9:10, right after they'd opened. I handed my ring to the clerk. She measured my finger. My ring was one full size too small.

"We'll have it back to you a week from Friday," she said.

"No, that's not going to work. I need it today."

"Sir, same-day service is $200. The resize costs $75. Two tenths of a gram of gold alloy will be required to increase the size. That's about $20, so that's $295 give or take ten dollars. Polishing out all of these scratches and scuffs is included, but this ring is only worth about $280 in metal value. Are you sure you want to spend so much on it?"

I looked at her name tag.

"I'm not looking to pawn it, Ms. Franklin. It's absolutely worth it to me. Now, please, what time can I pick it up?"

She chuckled. "Well, since you said 'please,' it'll be ready by three o'clock. We close at five."

"Thank you, ma'am."

I started for the door. "Oh, Ms. Franklin? Make sure it doesn't get polished. All of those blemishes, scuffs, and scratches are part of its life. I don't want them erased any more than necessary to do whatever has to be done to make it fit, okay?"

She smiled. "Not many people think that way. This must be very special to you."

"Yeah. It is," I said as I left the shop.

I had hours to kill before lunch with Liv. An impulse hit me, and I made a phone call from my truck while sitting in the parking lot.

"Hello?" a woman answered.

"Hey, Suzie. How are you doing?"

"I'm good. What's going on? It's been a while."

"It has, but you know how to dial a phone, too," I teased. "I need to ask you a very personal question. I know you've never thought of me as your father, and I understand that completely. Right now, I want you to think of me as you always have, as your sister's husband. You know, the sister that you love to death?"

She chuckled. "Yeah. I get it. What's up?"

"Do you know what's going on with her?"

"What do you mean?"

"It feels so weird to talk to you like this, but I have to say it so you'll understand. Samantha is the love of my life. We've been married for over twenty years. But over the last year or so, it's like she's checked out. She's a different person. It's like she's given up on me. Has she said anything to you?"

I heard a deep sigh on the other end of the line.

"Gary, I don't know. No, she's not said anything obvious to me. But I agree with you. I can't put my finger on it, but yeah, she's been acting strange. Kind of closed in. I don't know how to explain it. But I can say it isn't just you. I've asked her a couple of times about it, and she always changes the subject onto something totally unrelated."

"So I'm not crazy?"

"No. Not about that."

"Good," I said, smiling though she couldn't see it. "By the way, how are your kiddos?"

"They're great, thanks for asking."

"Good to hear. And how are you?"

"Well, this E. Bola thing kinda has the whole hospital running around like mad, but other than a bad cough, I think I'm okay."

"Bad cough? Please tell me you're joking."

"Yeah. I am."

"You're evil."

"So are you, Gary."

I laughed out loud. "Hug your babies for me, would you? Tell them their aunt, uncle, and cousins love them."

"Only every day. Talk to you later."

The conversation was quick but to the point. Her parting comment warmed me.

A text was waiting for me when I hung up. It was from Liv.

Our boss scheduled a meeting with the team at 1:00pm. Can we meet at 11:30 instead?

Yep. See you then.

I raced back to the hotel, booted my laptop, and copied documents to a flash drive which I brought to the business center to print. I clipped the printouts, stuffed them into a manila envelope, then drove to Richy's Grill.

I was ten minutes tardy, but Liv already had a table when I arrived. There was a glass of iced tea waiting for me. Liv knew my preferences.

"Sorry I'm late. Thanks for meeting me," I said as I pulled out my chair.

"Sure. I ordered your usual for you. Now, tell me. What's going on?"

I handed her the small stack of papers I removed from the envelope.

"Read these," I requested.

"What are they?" she asked, leafing through the pages rapidly.

"Emails from my wife around the time things started going wonky."

She put the stack on the table, face down, and pushed it back toward me.

"Are you out of your mind? You want me to read personal emails? From your wife? To you ?"

"Yes, maybe I am, and yes, I do. There's something there. I'm sure of it, but I need a woman's perspective. I trust you, Liv. You're the only other woman I trust. There's nothing in them that's not relevant. Please, Liv. Please ."

"Gary, it's … it's weird !"

"I know. I get it. I know. I'm begging you, Liv. I'm about to fly into the eye of the shitstorm, and I need a navigator."

She watched me for a few moments, then turned the stack over and began reading.

"Uh-huh … okay … yeah … Taiwan. I remember when you went there.

"Russians. That's funny ."

She yanked the next one out of the stack and slid it face down to me.

"Damn it, Gary! You should have redacted this one," she yelped. Her face blushed.

She was right, but I figured every word was important.

"Keep going."

"No! This is making me uncomfortable."

"Please ," I begged again. "I promise there's nothing else like this one," I tapped the one she rejected. "We don't have a lot of time."

Liv eyed me warily, then resumed reading. Her eyes furrowed as she read the next one, and scrunched more deeply as she continued through the remainder. She paled.

"Oh, my god," she whispered.

She rifled backwards through the papers and began reading them again.

"What's the date on that?" she asked of the one she threw my way.

"December the fifteenth. It was the day before the party. She was at the airport for her flight out to Atlanta."

"Oh."

She finished the stack and said, "Something happened when she was out of town."

"Yeah. That's what I'm thinking."

"Did she tell you anything?"

"No, but I came to the same conclusion right before I sent you the email asking you to meet me here. I'm looking for a second opinion. I asked Samantha about it this morning. I told her I didn't expect an answer, but I asked her what happened in Atlanta and she got really nervous and visibly agitated. All she did was ask me why I was asking about it out of the blue."

"God, Gary … Oh, shit."

"What are you thinking, Liv?"

She sat back in her chair and stared out the window at the traffic on the street.

"Something happened to your wife the night of the party. I'm damned near certain of it. I mean, look. She's madly in love with you in the email you're holding. Good lord , Gary, she absolutely adores you! But the next day, she's basically begging you to come home without begging. And, well … she's done. No more terms of endearment."

I stared at her in disbelief because I hadn't noticed that particular detail.

She read the last emails again.

"Gary, this might be rough to hear, but she's either got a lot of resentment because you weren't there, or maybe it's guilt. She sounds like she's turning in on herself emotionally."

"That's what her sister said this morning … that's she's closed in."

"What you told me when we were in Phoenix, about how she's treating you, makes me think she's associating you with whatever happened. That's what you need to address."

"Yeah." I thought for a few minutes. "Yeah, I think you're right."

I nibbled at my lunch, thinking.

"Oh. I forgot to mention. She told me this morning she quit her job last week."

"Oh?" Liv said.

I only nodded.

"It might make sense. In one of those emails, she said her boss seemed different. I can't tell from her words, but it sort of seems it gave her a weird feeling."

She paused. "You need to think about something."

"About what?"

She stared at me for a few seconds.

"You might need to start getting yourself into a place where you're ready to hear something you don't want to hear."

"What do you mean?"

"She might have had an … indiscretion."

"No. No way. No way , Liv."

"Gary, calm down and think for a minute. How close did you get?"

"Get to what ?"

"How close did you get to having an indiscretion with me in Phoenix?"

I almost died when I realized what she said made sense.

I was a hair's breadth from crossing the line. A simple puff of air might have blown me across it. I was that close. It was unrealistic of me to assume something like that couldn't have happened with my wife, but, at the same time, the reason I was so close to the line was the cause of the conversation Liv and I were having. I almost crossed the line because my wife had distanced herself from me, while Liv was there and was very attentive.