The Pleasure Boy 34

The year I turned 60 saw several endings that touched me closely, and that together changed my life completely. Superficially, they left me better off. The reality was that for a time they left me bereft and empty, as had happened what seemed a lifetime ago when Natasha Sorkin was killed.

For six years now, my mother, suffering from Alzheimer's, had been in a nursing home. She received excellent care and I had visited her twice a week, but toward the end she no longer recognized me and those visits came to dismay and shock me. Her death was a relief to all who loved her and to herself as well, I think, for she seemed aware of her losses and increasing helplessness. Watching the decline of that strong, vital woman had been agony for me, and with her death a part of me died too. She had been so huge a presence in my life that with her gone, I scarcely knew who I was any longer. I could not mourn her death which was a mercy when it came. The person had been dead for several years already. What I had been visiting, trying at least to let her feel my love, was only a shell.

My father's end was completely different. Almost ten months after my mother's funeral, he suffered a massive stroke at his desk, reading a report on the thriving Mars colony, now with sixteen humans working closely with his robots. Though almost 90, he had still been going strong and because he was so rich, and his death had been so sudden, the law had insisted on an autopsy. No sign of foul play was found. An artery in his brain had ruptured and he had died almost instantly. He would never have felt pain, or known that anything was wrong.

As he left me a large bloc of bonds and non-voting shares, his death left me a very wealthy man with no responsibilities - except to my Mistress Judith, of course. Far more knowledgeable people than I would run his corporate empire, and pursue what had become its mission: the exploration and conquest of the solar system.

A third shock to my system came from Judith, who decided that it was time to retire completely. Technically, she had retired ten years ago from running Woodruffe's HR Department, but she had kept a finger on the pulse of things, continuing to advise Dad and me on corporate strategy whenever significant HR issues were involved. This was most of the time, given the nature of Woodruffe's business. Now, 80 years old, she decided that she had had enough - of Woodruffe Electronics, the colonization of Mars, and Montreal winters. She planned to purchase a villa in Costa Rica - with me if I wished to follow her - and spend the rest of her days in a warm climate, enjoying the lush foliage and the flowers.

My parents' deaths had made it easy for her. She knew I would not wish to leave Montreal while they were still alive; and would feel torn if she asked or ordered me to come with her. She had cherished her own decades-long role as one of my father's closest advisors, had long been of two minds about ending it. But now she informed me of her plans and asked if I wished to join her, making it clear that she wanted to leave me free."

She asked me, "Do you remember the conversation we had years ago after our WoodLMP proposal was approved and our first contract was ending? I warned you then that the age difference between us had to be reckoned with, and that both of us would eventually have needs that the other could not satisfy. Our second contract was for a trial period, because I wanted you be sure of what you were getting into. Our third - which stood the test of time and needed very little revision over the years - explicitly gave you the right to ask for revisions to accommodate that 17-year difference."

"You protested that this was not necessary - that you could keep a promise to stay with me for life. But I insisted, because I did not want ever to look at you and see that you would prefer to be somewhere else - perhaps with a younger, more sexually energetic woman. I also insisted that we have an 'open' relationship, that either of us be free to take time away from each other - without asking permission, without having to answer questions about what we'd be doing or with whom, just never leaving the other wondering where we were. Over the years, you used that provision briefly a few times, and so did I, without feeling that we were cheating or worrying that the other was. It's one reason why our relationship worked as well as it did."

"But the time has come for a big revision. I've had a long post-retirement career as your father's counsellor. You went to work at HanaLot as a master mentor, taught at the Guild and continued to assist me. But with your father's death, my work-life is over, while you are still in the middle of yours - at the top of your career as a Guild master and master mentor, now rich enough not to need to work any more except on projects that really interest you.

"So here's what's going to happen: I've bought that lovely villa in Costa Rica where we stayed last year when went down there on vacation. I'll be moving down there now, as soon as LifeMates can find me a suitable companion - part house boy, part bed pet, and part nurse, as I will soon need someone to take care of me. You will share as much of that life as you wish. You will be very welcome any time, but I expect that most of your life will remain up here, divided between HanaLot and the Guild of Pleasure Workers. You might renew your sex life with your friend Lisa, who is divorced now, I heard, or take a sweet young subbie of your own. You've also talked about writing a book, and now you'll have time to do it."

"No, don't say anything. I've made my decision, and we never argue! Let's not talk about your plans now. I know you're still getting over your parent's death and are in no position to think what you will want to do a year from now, when I'm not around on a daily basis."

"Understood, Mistress, and I can only say that you are wise as always. You're right that I would be torn, and even resentful, if you ordered me to come with you now. I think I could obey you, but it would only be from training and duty. My life is still up here in Montreal."

And so it was. Judith moved down to her Costa Rican Villa with a young Spanish-speaking houseboy who functioned also as a combination nurse and sex toy - keeping him on a very generous salary and insurance plan that gave him a big incentive to keep her alive and happy for as long as possible. I continued with my career as a master mentor, dividing my time between HanaLot, the WoodLuMP program and teaching at the Guild. But I spent two months with Judith every winter - and at first, visited her briefly a few other times each year to be sure that her houseboy was taking good care of her.

When I was with her, we mostly talked. More precisely, she talked and I listened. She reminisced about the past, about our lives together. That listening was really all she wanted from me now, so I listened and was happy. On her instructions, her new pet made himself scarce but he continued to keep an eye on us - and one ear, as well. I know he was suspicious of me, and feared I might be plotting something that would spoil his cushy set up and maybe write him out of her will. I reassured him as best I could, but he continued to see me as a rival.

Back home in Montreal, I began to write - this autobiography and a study of submissive sexuality, sending her chapters to read as I completed them. She's still hanging in there, and I am there for her when she needs me; but the story of my life with her is finished now. For me, what followed were good years of work and reflection for which just a few more closing pages will suffice.