The Prenup

Before you jump into my latest story, I wanted to mention a few things. First of all, keep in mind that this is just fiction. Please don't send me hateful comments that this situation couldn't possibly happen. Life is pretty strange and just about anything is possible.

I'd like to say just a word about the feedback. I do read it and take the criticism to heart. Having said that, I do not go back and correct grammar or spelling mistakes. I view my stories like I view my kids. I did the best I could for my kids and then let them find their way in the world. I let them solve their own problems, but I stand ready to help if they have a major problem, they can't handle by themselves. I consider my stories the same way. I do the best I can and then release them to be read. If there is a major problem with a story, I will go back and take a look. Otherwise, it is what it is.

I'd like to share one comment that really cracked me up. It was a criticism that I was an amateur because the commenter felt I don't outline my stories. I do outline my stories, but who the hell does this person think writes for this site, Ernest Hemingway?

The Prenup

My life is totally fucked up. I had just gotten home from work when my wife of twelve years, Lisa, started screaming at me. I had been dreading this moment but knew it was coming one day. In an effort of full disclosure, my wife had a right to be furious with me; I was cheating on her. But in my own defense, she was cheating on me, and her cheating started at least six months before mine. And while I had known about Lisa's infidelity for years, apparently, she had only just discovered mine.

Like I said, my life is totally fucked up, and I'm pretty sure none of you will believe me when I tell you about it. Hell, If I weren't living it, I wouldn't believe it either.

As soon as I opened the front door, Lisa screamed at the top of her lungs, "YOU"RE A FUCKING PIG!" From there, the conversation went downhill. In fact, as I think back on it, Lisa's opening remarks were the kindest things she said about me during her tirade. While I was only catching every third word, it was crystal clear that Lisa had discovered that I had a special lady friend, and she was less than pleased.

Even if I could have gotten a word in edgewise, I couldn't think of anything to say that would calm the situation. So, I just stood there, staring at the floor, trying to figure out what the best escape route would be if Lisa became violent.

Finally, when Lisa had calmed down, she said, "Well, what do you have to say for yourself. Why shouldn't I just file for divorce?"

"Well, to begin with," I said softly. "I know you've been having an affair for the last nine years. So, I agree, we probably should get a divorce."

"What? What are you talking about?" Lisa was stunned, and the color had drained from her face.

I reached into my briefcase and pulled out several pictures, which I gave to Lisa. They were pictures of her infidelity.

I wasn't sure what to expect but what I got totally surprised me. I should explain that Lisa is incredibly wealthy and could send an army of lawyers against me. But, instead of the angry explosion I expected, Lisa dropped the pictures and started to sob. Then she looked at me with an expression of total agony and loss.

What she said next totally stunned me.

"I don't want a divorce. I love you." Then she fled to our bedroom.

Her reaction stunned me and left me even more confused than I normally am. Lisa is the most beautiful woman I had ever known. I never expected, in my wildest imagination, that we would ever wind up together. And when we did marry, I expected Lisa to grow tired of our relationship and kick me to the curb within a year or two.

One of the quirks about our marriage was that Lisa's family was incredibly wealthy and insisted on a prenuptial agreement. I, of course, agreed. However, one clause almost caused me to walk away. Lisa insisted that the prenuptial agreement state that there would be no children from this marriage, and I finally agreed. I thought long and hard about that clause, but by then, I was hopelessly in love with Lisa. However, by this story's end, I would wind up with four kids. Did I mention that my life was totally fucked up?

I suppose I should give a little backstory to all this. Lisa Gravois is my wife. My name is David Toddman. Obviously, my wife didn't take my last name. Long story short, Lisa's family owns one of the most exclusive perfume companies in the world, and the family name is branded. And since Lisa is part owner of the business, Gravois Scents, it made sense for her to keep her maiden name. At first, I wasn't thrilled with the idea, but over the years, it has worked out quite nicely for me. Because Lisa kept her last name and I kept mine, many people don't realize that we're married. It gives me a certain amount of anonymity.

I truly meant what I said at the beginning of this story. When we married, I couldn't believe that Lisa had chosen me. I mean, she was a stunning beauty, and she still is. Lisa's almost six feet tall with long black hair and the deepest blue eyes you'll ever see. She had the figure of a model with slightly larger breasts. In fact, Lisa did model for a short time in her teens. I'm not a bad-looking guy, but I'm no movie star. I'm an inch over six feet, with sandy-colored hair, and I keep myself in shape. Even so, Lisa was way out of my league, and I knew it.

I met Lisa at a party thrown by my college roommate and his wife in the Hamptons. He was a commodities trader and was doing extremely well. His wife Beth went to Vassar with Lisa, and they were very close friends.

When I was introduced to Lisa, I was duly impressed, as was every other male in the room. I mean, she just radiates sex and beauty. She had all the single guys and most married ones drooling. But as I said, she was out of my league, so I started chatting up some of the other single women in the room. I have a friend who once advised me to only date girls in my league or even poach in some of the lower leagues. Otherwise, you'd waste your evening talking up a woman that was going to leave with someone else.

I know it sounds like a "chicken shit" dating philosophy, and I don't wholly subscribe to it. However, I do admit that I practice a modified version. I simply classify women as to whether I feel that they're out of my league or not. Why should I spend my time on a girl who will shoot me down anyway? I believe in being realistic. The only exception is if there is a girl obviously out of my league but known to be easy, then I'll take a shot.

However, every time I turned around this particular night, Lisa seemed to be at my elbow. The first few times, I chalked it up to coincidence, but by the fourth time, it became clear that Lisa was interested in me. I was flattered but also uncomfortable. I figured she was slumming, and when she got tired of me, she'd toss me back. I wasn't interested in being someone's pet project for the month.

Maybe that was her plan, but I didn't let it get far enough to discuss it. Yet, after that party, Lisa pursued me. As I said, I'm an alright-looking guy, but what the hell did Lisa Gravois want with me. I was just a software salesman. Don't get me wrong, I'm a damn good software salesman. And after only four years working for the same company, I was one of the Senior Sales Directors with a salary in the mid-five figure range. But that's peanuts to what Lisa makes. Her salary without bonuses is forty million dollars a year. So, I think you can understand why I thought Lisa was just playing with me.

Perhaps my disinterest spurred Lisa on, but in the end, she wore me down. It took her four weeks to get me to go on a date with her. It took six months before we slept together and a little over a year before we married. It was an embarrassingly extravagant wedding. There were six hundred guests, and I heard it cost about six million dollars. But that's chicken feed to one of the heirs to the Gravois fortune.

Of course, her family insisted that I sign a pre-nuptial agreement. I know Lisa was embarrassed to ask me, but I had no objections. I understood the necessity of having one, and besides, I made a good salary on my own. So, I didn't care about her money. Yet, when I agreed to sign, Lisa was as happy as could be. She told me that her family would disown her if she married me without the agreement. But according to Lisa, she was going to marry me come hell or high water. Still, I couldn't help but wonder how long the marriage would last.

According to the prenup, if we got divorced before three years, I would only get $500,000. That absolutely flabbergasted me. I had never heard anyone put "only" before $500,000. But it got better. Every year we stayed married over the three years, I would receive an additional $500,000 or a pro-rata share for whatever percentage of the year we were still husband and wife. In case of a divorce, Lisa could make no claims against my assets. On the other hand, I couldn't make any claims against any of her assets either. But the best part about the whole agreement was that I got to sleep with the most beautiful woman in the world, and if she kicked me to the curb, I'd get at least $500,000.

Of course, the prenup spelled out that we both agreed to forego having children. While I finally agreed to that stipulation, Lisa's parents were decidedly unhappy with the no children clause. But Lisa did not have a close relationship with her parents. Apparently, she only saw them during board meetings, and she claimed that they liked her brothers better than her. Besides, she had already had the battle over no children with them years ago. Not surprisingly, we saw very little of them over the years. And when they did come to visit, it was very awkward, especially for me because they looked at me as something lower than pond scum.

I have to say that the first three years of marriage were really great. I really believed she did love me during those blissful years. But shortly after our third anniversary, I discovered that Lisa was cheating on me.

Our marriage was really unconventional. Lisa traveled extensively for the company. I would say that she was gone about a week out of every month. And in the early years, I traveled with her as often as possible. Sometimes she was home for five or six weeks in a row, but those times were rare. However, whenever she returned home, she'd flat wear me out in the bedroom.

My discovery of Lisa's cheating started with a picture in the newspaper. Because of who Lisa is, she is frequently mentioned or pictured on the society pages. So, I religiously scanned that section of the paper every day. On one particular day, I just glanced at a picture from a party in Paris, and I almost missed it. It finally took a magnifying glass to confirm what I thought the picture showed. On the right side of this particular picture, I saw someone that looked like Lisa. With a magnifying glass, I confirmed it. So, you're probably saying, "What's the big deal?" It was a big deal because, at that particular moment, Lisa was supposed to be in Japan, negotiating something for the company.

Still, there could be many reasons why Lisa was in Paris. But I couldn't think of why she'd change her trip and not tell me. Still, I needed to find out more. This could have been a simple last-minute snafu in her schedule. But I had to find out what was going on. When we were first married, Lisa asked me to quit my job, so I could travel with her. I told her I didn't want to be a kept man. Eventually, she stopped asking.

One of the things about marrying into a family like Lisa's is that you have almost unlimited resources. However, I didn't want to use any of Lisa's money because I knew she was very detailed and would know if I did. But I had my own checking account where my salary was deposited. Mostly, I used that money to buy Lisa birthday and Christmas presents. That is not an easy task when you're buying for someone who has everything.

It was bugging the shit out of me, and I couldn't sleep or eat. I had to know what was happening, so I used my personal funds and hired a PI firm. Yet, even doing that, I had to be careful. I selected an investigation firm I knew the Gravois companies had never used before, a well-respected firm out of St. Louis.

After I discovered the picture in the paper, I realized that Lisa's schedule had her traveling considerably more than when we first married. With the new schedule, she was gone for an average of two weeks out of every month. Still, I was confused because our sex life was still great. Lisa always seemed genuinely sad when she had to travel and very happy when she returned. I almost convinced myself that I was being paranoid.

Anyway, a month later, I learned that I wasn't paranoid. I got the report with the pictures, and it hurt like hell. I had never experienced that kind of pain. The PI's report identified Lisa's lover as Gerard Lavelle, whose family was in banking. They owned banks all over Europe, and Gerard was the president of the family holding company. Lisa and Gerard grew up together, and at one time, everyone thought they would get married. But then Gerard and Lisa broke up. Lisa married me, and Gerard married a Greek woman named Theresa Apopolis. Theresa's father was into shipping in a big way. Gerard and Theresa had three children.

According to the PI's report, Gerard and Lisa broke up because he wanted children and Lisa was adamant about wanting none. Apparently, Gerard's family had threatened to disinherit him if he agreed to Lisa's demand of no children. Then I read in the report that Gerard's wife had died six months before. So, now Gerard was free to be with Lisa.

I walked about in a funk for five days as I tried to puzzle out what was going on. Obviously, Gerard had been Lisa's first love, and apparently, they had rekindled their relationship. I didn't understand why Lisa hadn't filed for divorce. In fact, I was totally confused because every time she came home, Lisa would smother me with love. If I didn't know better, I would swear the woman loved only me. Not only did Lisa seem genuinely thrilled to see me, but our lovemaking was tremendous. You're beginning to see how fucked up my life was, but it was going to get worse.

My first reaction to the PI's report was to confront Lisa and divorce her. But I thought long and hard about it, and came up with three reasons that kept me from doing anything. First, I still loved Lisa, and when we were together, I felt she truly loved me. Second, the sex was mind-blowing, and lastly, the prenup. From purely a mercenary standpoint, I was earning $1370 for every day I stayed married to Lisa.

I finally decided what I was going to do after Lisa tried to destroy me with sex before jetting off on another trip. In my mind, I said, "Screw it, I'll stay married, but I won't stay faithful."

Even after making that decision, I was going back and forth about whether I could really go through with cheating on Lisa. As I pondered my dilemma one day, one of my saleswomen popped her head into my office.

Her name was Thelma Johnson, and she was a fairly attractive woman. Still, Thelma wasn't even close to Lisa's level, but she had a hot body and a warm and friendly personality. Where Thelma was a solid 8 1/2, Lisa was an 11 or 12.

"David, you've been distracted all week," she told me. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

I really liked Thelma, and she was an excellent saleswoman. She had recently divorced her husband after catching him screwing the mail lady on the kitchen table. Needless to say, in addition to getting a divorce, Thelma got a new kitchen table. I was surprised that she hadn't been as broken up about the divorce as I thought she would be. This wasn't the first time she'd caught her husband with his dick in another woman.

Thelma had worked closely with me for over six months to bring in the Harris Enterprise contract. That one contract secured our bonuses for the year. I knew Thelma was attracted to me, but we had always kept a professional relationship between us. Still, Thelma was a good listener, so I decided to ask her about my dilemma with Lisa.

"Yeah," I admitted, "I am distracted. I just found out that Lisa is cheating on me. The question I've been wrestling with is, do I divorce her, or ignore it?"

"That should be a no-brainer," Thelma said quickly. "Divorce the bitch and move on."

"It's not as simple as all that," I explained. "I signed a prenup with Lisa. Every year I stay married to Lisa, I get $500,000. That means that every day I stay married, I earn close to $1400, which isn't chump change."

I then cataloged all of the other perks available by remaining married to Lisa -- the fancy cars, the parties, the clothes, the expensive watches, and travel on the company jet. Thelma admitted that it was indeed something that had to be considered carefully. She promised to give it some thought that night and let me know if she came up with anything.

I was still wrestling with my problem the next day when Thelma came into my office and closed the door.

"I think I might have a solution to your problem," she said as she sat across from me.

"Really, what do you think I should do about Lisa?" I asked.

"I think you should stay with her," Thelma answered and continued, "with certain modifications."

"Oh, and what modifications should I make?" I asked, smiling. I was sure that Thelma would suggest that I stay married and just cheat on Lisa. I admit that I was leaning more and more in that direction, but I still hadn't convinced myself to go all-in on the cheating idea. Even though I still did love Lisa, her betrayal cut deeply, and I was having a hard time dealing with it. But what Thelma actually suggested shocked the hell out of me.

"As I said, I think you should stay married to Lisa, but you should engage in an affair of your own."

I raised my hand to stop her from going further. "I've already considered that."

"No, my plan is more involved than just that," Thelma interrupted. "Please let me explain, and let me finish before you throw me out of your office."

"Okay," I said as I lifted my hands up toward her, "the floor is yours."

"David, I believe you are wrestling with this decision for two reasons," Thelma began. "First, because, despite what Lisa has done, you still love her. You can't imagine a life without her. Also, even though you have given a lot of thought to just having affairs of your own, it doesn't satisfy you in one important aspect. You've told me several times that you really wanted to have children. So, just having affairs doesn't solve that desire of yours. Yes, you could get your mistress pregnant, but that would be messy and almost certainly end your marriage to Lisa."

"All this is true," I interjected, "but I don't see where it helps me solve my problem."

"I believe I can be the solution," Thelma said, smiling warmly at me.

"What? You're proposing to be my mistress?"

"Technically, yes," she said with a sly smile. "But what I want is much more."

"I'm not sure I like the sound of this," I said with concern.

"No, no, David. Let me finish."

I nodded for her to proceed.

"You've known me since before you and Lisa married," Thelma continued. "I know you feel that Lisa married beneath herself, but I've never seen it that way. She's damn lucky to have you, and she is a fool risking losing you. But since Lisa has decided to be a fool, I'm not going to pass up on this opportunity. You know my dating history has been sorry, to say the least. I always seem to wind up with the worst of men. I had great trepidations even before I got married last year. I could sense that Fred and I weren't suited to each other, but he seemed kind and loving on the surface. Only after we were married did I learn he was a jealous and controlling prick, and he couldn't keep his dick in his pants."