The President's Gay Wife Pt. 02

"Yes ma'am."

"Please close your mouth Gerry. We have a guest present."

Gerry looked at Kitty absolutely entranced.

Kitty outlined the plan devised to enhance both Gerry and Magnolia. He resisted but realized he'd have to accept because of its brilliance. As Kitty had emphasized, what she proposed would provoke early criticism but it was the outcome that mattered. She'd capped that in the language politicians really understood: at the end of the day he'd stand victorious.

Back home and in the bath, Kitty took a call from Jim Gee.

"I didn't know you were back in the country?"

"You didn't need to know, we're not lovers."

She heard his teeth snap together. She knew he wanted to fire both barrels.

Like a storm about to strike Jim said ominously, "This interference of you in my personal affairs, it's...it's...outrageous."

"Okay, then I'll walk away. Goodnight."

Jim sounded panicky, "No, wait...I apologize. You can be such a bitch at times."

"Oooh, a compliment."

"I apologize."

"Squirm by all means Jim but please don't lick my footwear."

Jim attempted to lighten up. "Chase seems to respect you, in fact Chase thinks you are fabulous."

"Thank you for that lofty comment Jim. Good night."

"No wait."

"Jim this is becoming a little tiresome."

He stated sweetly, "I have confidence in you, Chase has confidence in you. Dinner at my apartment tomorrow at 6:00 -- I must be back at my office by 9:00 at the latest. We will have take-outs."

"Fine."

"I think you can do it Kitty."

"Enough of that boot-licking talk. I am to be a facilitator to effect a quick exit by Chase so I can get at your body."

"Oh Kitty," Jim groaned, only to then realize she'd cut the phone connection.

Chapter 6

After Monday's first meeting of the Executive Council, the President faced a crowded media conference, bloated because his deputy chairman, Sir Max, had advised that a special announcement of public interest was expected, depending on its acceptance of the Executive Council.

Reading script prepared by Kitty, Lord Fitzroy said, attempting as best he could to appear humble, "I have taken expert advice and have decided that rather than terminate my marriage that I should put behind me the unfortunate event of a few weeks ago and attempt full reconciliation with Lady Fitzroy. She has accepted the need for expert guidance to effect a total makeover and has chosen for this role the woman in this country she most admires, my former private secretary Kitty Loveridge, a woman whom you journalists know kicks ass, she doesn't lick it, and Kitty would be the first to admit that is the truth."

He paused, drowned out by laughter.

"Therefore, within the powers invested in me I have decided to appoint my wife, Lady Fitzroy, to the Prime Minister's department to head a new division called Office for Equal Opportunity in Politics and Parliamentary Administration, to be loosely known as the Equal Opportunity Office.

Media representatives burst into an uproar.

When that died, Lord Fitzroy continued. "In ratifying my decision and allocating an initial and very generous budget, the Executive Council agreed, although I must say not with great enthusiasm, that Lady Fitzroy is qualified for the position, having operated from a women's point of view, on both sides of the fence."

The media came close to hysterics.

Wiping away sweat, Lord Fitzroy stuck to his task. "Finally, I announce I have appointed to manage this influential unit, none other that Miss Kitty Loveridge."

After a moment's silence some of the women journalists began clapping and everyone joined in. Lord Fitzroy wiped his face, gratified.

A chant was taken up, "Kitty, Kitty. We want Kitty.

The PM made a phone call and then announced, "She'll be here in two minutes. Grab a drink everyone."

Kitty, in the process of gleefully kicking out the tearful media liaison manager Megan Ryan from her office and giving her 24-hours to clear her staff from the joining room and relocating in a disused storeroom, took the PM's call and said to Magnolia standing behind her with the department's chief of staff, "We're on Magnolia. Let's go."

"Oh my hair, are my seams straight. What about my lipstick?"

"This is politics and even worse, politics and the media Magnolia. Nothing else comes first."

They entered the auditorium with media reps returning to their seats with a drink.

Kitty took the rostrum and said, "Hi guys."

"Hi Kitty!"

"First, the boss. She's in a tremble so take it easy huh?"

Magnolia stepped up to the rostrum, almost falling backwards on her high heels of Kitty's choice.

"Hi guys."

She heard one person cough and that's all until someone yelled, "Speak up Lady Fitzroy, we can't hear you."

"Please don't address me as Lady Fitzroy. Just Magnolia as Kitty won't allow me to use my title until she decides I am a lady."

Lighting for the three sets of TV cameras switched on the scribblers hunched over their pads and scribbled.

"Let's run through that again guys, we were caught napping," yelled a TV director.

"Speak up Lady Fitzroy, we can't hear you."

"Please don't address me as Lady Fitzroy. Just Magnolia as Kitty won't allow me to use my title until she decides I am a lady."

Magnolia was then grilled for ten minutes, mainly about her suitability to her role and what she thought about gays.

She came up smelling like a rose, showing some naivety but great heart and displayed charm galore.

Magnolia finished up addressing the media personally. "Thank you for being so kind to me on my first outing. Do you like my new outfit and hairstyle? Kitty is modernizing me and this is part of her makeover. She's such a darling. I think I'm allowed to use that term -- she forbids me to act girlie or call other women sweetheart."

She left the rostrum to a standing ovation.

Kitty yelled, "That's all folk. Isn't she a ripper?"

The deputy chairman of the Executive Council Sir Max Wallace and council secretary Alf Struthers sat drinking and watching the news at 4:00 on TV.

"If that report is indicative it looks as if the media is taking a 'wait and see' attitude on this hair-brained scheme of Gerry's but the clip of the media conference showing Magnolia talking to the media gives the distinct impression she enchanted them."

Max said dryly, "Also wait and see Alf. Do you want Kitty to work on your wife?"

"No thanks. She's already staying with her mother and the wheels are in motion for a quick divorce. I reckon come time of the next election you will have wished Gerry had booted off Magnolia."

"Let's wait and see huh? Regarding the election, I want to talk to you about the possibility of the nation finding it prefers this style of tight Government by a small Executive Council."

"What? It's next to a dictatorship Max and you know it."

"Er, what say with a bit of modifying to be operated by you and me as joint-chairmen and we rule on a non-partisan basis?"

"Our political support would drop away, including our funding."

"Think big Alf. Without need of party support we wouldn't require funding."

"So the public is left without choice?"

"We're on the same wavelength Alf."

Alf held out his glass for another shot. "I'll think about it Max."

Arriving for dinner that evening, Kitty was handed a copy of tomorrow morning's front page of the Guardian.

"It looks good Jim, I like the heading."

They looked at the article, joined by Chase handing Kitty her drink. The heading read, 'Media Told She's a Ripper'. The accompanying article titled, 'A Stupid Waste of Public Money', slammed the Executive Council for creating an 'Office of Nothing' with a budget of $1.5 million looking for sexism in politics that was almost non-existent.

"Ewan Rogers is off-beam with that claim. Just you wait until the complaints start rolling in."

"What complaints?" Jim asked Kitty.

"Women who say they are dissatisfied with what they call arrogant males outnumbering women in Parliament by seven to one and legislation written by old farts of last Century."

"You're dreaming Kitty."

"Before we left the office this afternoon I had received three invitations for Magnolia and me to address women's groups and our office doesn't open until we've had the accommodation renovated to suite feminine tastes."

Jim said, losing some confidence, "That's a knee-jerk reaction."

"The first invitation came on behalf of the national executive president of the Council of Women, the second from Women in Law Inc and the third was from the Charlton University Women's Club."

Jim looked slightly agitated. "Excuse me ladies, I have to call someone."

Chase said in awe, "Golly Kitty, you almost had him wetting his pants."

"Editor's don't like falling out of step with leading public opinion but if you want to learn how to kick ass call me sometime for a drink."

"You mean you don't mind staying in touch?"

"Of course not. You are interesting and fun to be with, or at least you were at lunch. Please don't let any thought of Jim come between us."

"Crisis over Jim?" she asked as he returned to the room.

"Yeah Kitty, just briefed Ewan Rogers and he's going to alter his story a tad."

"A tad?"

"Oh all right, it's being rewritten reporting women organizations are hailing the creation of the new office as a tremendous initiative and for Ewan to suggest the office may be under-funded. I added that bit knowing you would have written that."

Chase was looking at Kitty as if she'd just witnessed the impossible being performed. "You have him on a string," she whispered and Kitty told her to hush.

Jim served the take-outs, expecting them to eat on their knees, much to Chase's dismay.

Catching the look Kitty smiled, "Jim and I have eaten under trees in white-outs, down mine-shafts, in doss houses, standing outside over-crowed pubs like all newspaper journalists have always done, so eating sitting on these comfortable sofas is a real treat in comparison, I'm telling you Chase."

"If you say so Kitty. I have the dinning table set with candles ready to light."

"This is to keep us relaxed Chase," Jim said. "We need Kitty to give us her best shot."

"Okay, I'm relaxed. Throw your cartons and wrappers on the floor is you wish."

"Not quite that relaxed I'm sure," Kitty said, and they laughed.

Kitty said she was no miracle worker all she could do was to try to appeal to the sense of fair play resident in both of them. She asked where were they under legal representation.

Jim looked at Chase and nodded. She said, "We closed down our legal folk this morning and agreed to agree with you."

"You both may feel you've been cut off at the knees after I've ended my attempt."

"So be it," said Jim and Chase said so be it.

"Well, where are we at with the offers on the table?"

Chase said, looking at Kitty anxiously, "I've cut back to $1.3 million."

Jim said he'd upped his offer from $200,000 to $250,000.

"Hmmm."

Chase and Jim attempted to appear relaxed.

"Tell me Chase, what are your main goals?"

"Simple really. I turn thirty next month and in the not too distant future I would like to be in my own house with a husband and the first of a couple of kids on the way. Definitely born before I turn thirty-five."

"Hmmm."

Chase began wringing her hands.

"Relax Chase."

Chase dropped her hands to her side and looked as if Kitty had just shot her.

"Okay Chase, here is my decision so take it or leave it, you too Jim. I'm off for a pee so you'll have a couple of minutes to discuss it and then I'm off unless you have agreed. Chase in future before you make any major decision I urge you to go in with your eyes open and underpinning it with no more than 40% emotion. In my opinion Jim always was and always will be the wrong person for you and I'd still say that even if I didn't know him well. He comes across as being self-centered, distant and not very interested in being consumed by a woman unless it's for sex and that's why he's succeeded as a journalist and now an editor because he can greedily give the majority of his time to the written word. It's a pity you didn't have someone to tell you this at the outset."

"Mom did, after she first met him."

"Oh Chase."

"It's okay. I stupidly thought I would prove her wrong. She still thinks you are a nice guy Jim."

"I didn't even try Chase."

"Thank for saying that Jim. Honest to the last eh?"

"Well, it's off to the bathroom. Chase I want you to find a house you'd really like, where you'd really like, and Jim I want you to pay $700,000 of the price and to have a legal agreement drawn up and signed/counter-signed in front of your attorneys. This is my idea of finely pitching resolution. If it's not acceptable, no harm done."

Kitty went home an hour later, leaving the other two drinking to celebrate the end to their impasse.

Chase had kissed her at the elevator, tears rolling. "Kitty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Perhaps we can have lunch. I'll leave tomorrow or the next day and stay with mom until I resettle and find a decent job."

"Decent job? Are you planning to stay in the city?"

"Yes of course."

"Come and see me within the next couple of days if you want to talk about a job."

"What, in your women's office."

"It's Lady Fitzroy's office actually. But hiring and firing comes under me. This is a temporary business card."

"That's fine. I'll courier my CV tomorrow and perhaps you could see me next afternoon."

"Certainly, let's have lunch in the Copper Room. The main restaurant is closed until Parliament resumes. I'll call you."

In the underground car lot next morning the media liaison officer Megan Ryan snubbed Kitty. Kitty allowed her to reach the elevator before calling, "Oh Megan, treat me like that again and you're out of here."

Megan froze and turned slowly. "I apologize Miss Loveridge."

"Accepted Megan but please call me Kitty, we are supposed to be on the same team. Are you available for lunch today? We have a couple of hatchets to bury."

* * *

"Kitty, are you sure we can say we are in business when our offices are closed for redecorating?"

"Yes boss, the absence of trappings doesn't mean we can't function and what better place to work on our draft strategic plan than in a bar?"

Magnolia told Kitty not to call her boss because Kitty was the boss.

"Please go to the bathroom and wash out your mouth with soap."

Magnolia looked defiant until wilting. She stood up.

"Sit down and get a bit of iron into your backbone and..." Kitty tailed off as an idea took shape. She made a call and spoke to the director of the Bureau.

"I can't believe the PM has taken you back in, you're almost Public Enemy No. 1."

"Oh Ralph darling. You are too kind. Listen, I want you to assign Skye as a 24/7 minder for Magnolia for twenty-eight days, starting in Bronwyn's Bar in Parliament where we have our temporary office at 9:00 sharp in the morning."

"You have Lady Fitzroy in an office that's a bar?"

"Oh hard of hearing are we Mr Director?"

"No, of course not and you are out of order making this request. Only the PM or in his absence the Attorney General and in his absence the deputy PM can direct the Bureau."

"I'm simply cutting corners Ralph. You know what the President will say when I tell him this is necessary for the safety of his wife with anti-gay women coming into our office or should I say this bar."

"Oh God, why isn't she with a Minder?"

"Because the President cancelled the service when he gave her home detention and neither he nor your good self as his chief security adviser thought of reactivating it when she was let out of the house again."

"Oh God, she was exposed defenseless in front of all those journalists, probably 20% of them are gay."

"A reflection of community representation and no doubt 20% of your people are gay."

"Kitty!"

"Sorry Ralph, couldn't resist the windup. Anyway she wasn't defenseless, I was at her side."

"Yeah, well I must admit that counts for something. If you can't hold down your new job come and see me. How is you have identified Skye?"

"I wouldn't be considered good at my job if I hadn't managed to do that Ralph."

"What kind of answer is that?"

"The kind of answer the Director of CBII gives when appearing before the National Security Subcommittee in the House."

To Be Continued