All Comments on 'The Pride of a Slave Ch. 02'

I am over here crying like a baby how could they do that to her

Another Amazing Chapter, but really, it feels as though your smashing the main character a bit too much. I feel badly for her, but it's really a case where I want to slap those boys and say to them " Come on Guys, she's your friend. Slave or not, WAKE UP", i'm sure that is your intent, but I do hope the next chapter both comes swiftly, and also has an upturn to her side of things, because really... Sera deserves it.

Another amazing chapter woke up super early to check on it I'm hoping the boys will be really guilty soon because I emphasise with the main character so much. Keep rolling out the stories :)

More more more. I can't wait for the next chapter. Hoping Sera makes the boys beg for it. Lol.

how can the boys do that?! and its kinda weird how fast they change. one moment, they were willing to stand up for her during graduation and all of a sudden, they are avoiding her at the university and ignoring her presence?! :((((

I love your storyline!!! but there are some parts which just doesn't connect (for me at least). hopefully there will be more revelations :) and thank you for the wonderful story and fast releases! :D

Felt like a stalker waiting for this chapter to post! Really hoping the next one comes super fast. Im very impatient!! Love the chapter, made me cry - those boys need a kick up the butt!!

I think this has something to do with Sera's safety. I hope I'm right that Dmitri is just keeping Patrine off her. Even without her best friends, she can still be alright since she has Isadorre, the Duke and Becka, then the guards and the very caring lady chef. Plus, some of her teachers are kinda too and that one classmate in art class. Yes, they are not as close to her as Dmitri and Ryder are, but at least, miss author provided her with helping characters to make her through the day.

This new editor seems to be doing a good job. And I like it that pov was consistent this time. It doesn't have to be long as long as what is needed in the chapter is covered. Also, I can see that you have been expanding her world, more characters added and now, more questions to be answered. I hope you drop us some clues in the next chappy, no need to shove us the answers we are looking for because we can read between the lines.

Another amazing chapter. I adore your Sera character! I'm ready to fight her battles with her. Those princes are irritating. How quickly they've forgotten their "little sister" and how could they trade their convictions for a rude little bigot?

I cried at the part about the note her mom used to leave. I hope the next chapter posts soon :)

this is such a gentle story, i really love it. great characters and your writing is so captivating that i completely forget my surroundings and in their world. so very, very nice!

it does seem odd di n ryder's behavior unless there is a good reason for it. sad moments for sera. once again a very nice chapter, thank you.

I'm so upset with the two Prince's how could they just ignore her like that after helping to get her into and wishing for her to attend the University. She's been there with them since forever and they treat her like a nothing. As if she's hardly there and when one of the Prince's does go to her Di he hurts her knows it and doesn't go after her to appologize. He's never hurt her and now she's mostly alone but, I am glad to see that there was someone in her corner. That knows she's having a horrible day and thought enough of her to send her something sweet like her mom used to. She's going to have a tough road ahead of her. I think she's lost her two best friends and I don't think it has anything to do with them protecting her. I think that they are all into their own new worlds and have left childhood behind them and that's including Sera.

really really love this, please continue!!

Sera was right to ignore their fight, they fucking ignored her! Then Di had the nerve to bruise her wrist after he was in the wrong. This Miss Patrine bitch better be a witch or some shit and that's why they are acting like that. Sorry for the language. Waiting impatiently for the next one.

.. Keep wiriting as fast as possible. I loved your last series and am really looking forward to the next. And I'm also angry with those darn princes

I couldn't help but cry. I love it!

A brilliant chapter which leaves a pang in you heart as you feel for Sera. Keep it up!

I like how Dimitri and Ryder put so much effort into getting Sera into college yet when she is they they ignore her. Keep them coming great story so far.

love the way u write!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so disappointed that the two jackasses have hurt and tossed Sera aside for the first piece of trampy ass that has come along. It makes them worse than the other creatures that hurt her to her face, because they were supposed to care about her, even if she is socially inferior to them. I don't understand why Victor and Mariah cannot see what a cheap manipulative tart this girl is, when it is so obvious.

WoW! Your writing gets better and better!!! This chapter actually made me cry, and I DON'T cry. I can't wait to see where this is going!

Very interesting the behavior of Ryder and Dimitri. I hope they come to their senses before they end up really hurting each other as well as losing Sera's friendship. But poor Sera, and thank God Isadorre is standing up for her. But I am totally addicted! Can't wait for the next chapter!

This story is beyond good. I will await the next chapter with bated breath. If you are able to match the idiocy, the pathos, the sheer unexpected excellence of the writing in this chapter, then I will be thrilled. If you are able to surpass it, then I will be ecstatic. You should be published, my dear. By the by, would the Aunt Isadorre in this book also be the Aunt Isadora in the last, or did they merely inspire one another? I love her fierce, protective nature.

the boys are assholes if that's the way they want to act. I never expected the story to take such a scarp turn. I'm not even sure where you are going w/it. I guess the boys are going to find life w/o Sera isn't going to be very peaceful.

I'm already so addicted to the twists and turns in this story and we are only on chapter 2. You are good and I mean really good!

More please? A simply captivating read!!

I'm really excited to see where this story goes. I was a little wary because the ending of your last series was a giant disappointment, but I'm already hooked.

Seriously, loving it. One thing before I get to the gushing: I've seen other authors on here announce when they've submitted their new chapters/stories, with the approximate day that it should be posted, and I think you should consider doing the same. It gives us something concrete to look forward to. (Of course, if you say it'll post on Friday, I'll be refreshing madly Thursday morning, just to see if it's gone up early...what can I say - I live in hope.)

As for the story: I have to admit that I was shipping Sera and Dimitri at first, but after what he did to her, he's gonna have to make up for it big time before I forgive him. (And there's no way you can convince me that he didn't bruise her intentionally - after growing up together, he *has* to be aware of his strength.) I really just want to punch those jackasses in face. Thank goodness for Isadorre.

At this point, I think Sera should graduate at the top of her class and spend the following five years planning and executing a coup. She'll take the boys as her consorts (they'll stay on as figureheads), but she'll have all the power, and will unite the humans, Lycans, and Vampires under her rule. Because she is made of awesome. Also, Sera, Becka, and Siobhan will be besties because why not?

~D

P.S. I know the Muse can be fickle at times, but please update soon.

I may be wrong about the timeline, but it seems impossible that a one night stand can completely change both Ryder and Dimitrie the morning (and day and evening) after. There must have been plenty of girls around in high school, but that didn't stop the guys from being friends with Sera. Or did they already know Miss Patrine from high school and had issues with her (Ryder's mate? if werewolves in your world have that). So how does she manage to kill the friendship in 24 hours? Hope you provide more info on the powerful Miss Patrine, and give her a short first name.

Yves

I'm liking the direction of the story so far. I hope the next chapter is a little longer but then again I just read to fast :) keep up the great writing.

I love this story! Issadore is my favorite character, she doesn't feel obligated to fill the human-hating role that everyone else feels compelled to fill. I feel captivated by Sera's determination to make in a world where everything is fighting against her being there. Please, please, please add another chapter soon!!

I can't wait for the next chapter.

My heart broke for Sera. Tears were in my eyes and hope in my heart. She is a very strong character and I can't wait for the next chapter. It's my new favorite story.

I wonder if the sweet smelling scent Miss Patrine wore is some kind of "hypno" scent. Because it seems everyone who gets into close contact falls under her spell. Since it was smelled early on by Sera, who would be immune since she is a human it would be a irritating smell to her nothing more than that.

And perhaps since Isadorre and her husband work at the college, they are more knowledgeable about these things and wear protectants to disspell illusions especially around ambitious university students. Very fascinating indeed. This would explain Dmitri's question to Sera, where he is confused about his actions when he is not around Miss Patrine.

Love this story. I hope more chapters post quickly and see where the turn of events lead to. Love it!

This isn't written very well. Lots of repetition and quite poor sentence structuring. There are also obvious spelling errors, and words that are simply missing. While I enjoy the story, I would like to see more quality in your writing. The flow of the text is kind of jerky, but I think that could be easily amended with more thoughtful transitions and more focused editing.

Please keep on writing though, I really liked your other story, and I'll definitely read all of this one too, regardless of quality. I like the story and the ideas, I'm just somewhat irked with the presentation.

great character development. Sera is fragile in a hard world but so strong against the odds! loving it so far!

Loved it!!!!

I hope she gets new friends that are 'immortal' that dont give a flying rats ass about her 'slave status' and her so called best friends should've known better! Whether or not something was going on they were basically raised together for their whole life! It's sad but I hope she finds an immortal she can love that makes her 'best friends' jealous. Maybe she should get her own place with issadorra since she's the only one who actually cares!

Anyways love the chapters! Can't wait for the next one... Are they beig posted every other day? :)

When reading the end of this chapter is "And I set fire....to the rain.."

Loved it. Keep the chapters coming please!!

And then skin that other bitches ass.

I really love your writing and keep checking... It's like my day can't go on without hearing what's happening next...

Bloody awesome writing

You are portraying Sera perfectly. So sympathetic but also strong. She's got a battle ahead of her but you know she'll make it through in the end.

Now if only those two jerks would treat her properly again. They won't survive long without her.

Can't wait for more!

The end just broke my heart! :( UGHHhHhhhhhh make those stupid brats pay for what they're doing to her!! lol

anyways ~ loving the story, keep it up :)

I love the story line and the world you have created. I like how you made fantasy creatures from science. The world is detailed enough I can see it, and it is refreshing to read how clearly you featured your characters without telling us every aspect of their appearance. You do, however, have some some mistakes; especially in Ch. 2 I saw quite a few things like words spelled incorrectly or lines punctuated improperly.

It is really hard to catch those things because your mind sees what you expect, not what is there. I miss things as well if my beta/editor can't do a chapter or story, but I find I miss less if I read and edit each chapter from the end to the beginning, one paragraph at a time. I get less caught in the story, and tend to see the written words instead of the characters in my head.

I only mention this because a story as well thought out and written as this is deserves to be as flawless as you can make it. Your skills in other ways - plot, characterization, pacing, and flow are on a very high level. I can't wait to read more of this story. Thank you for sharing.

You are an awesome writer and I honestly cannot wait to continue reading this series.

Thank you for this fabulous read! Was refered to your stories by a friend, and I'll certainly be on the look out for more...so, please, keep 'em coming.

I must add that I'm not usually a fiction reader, however, I was hooked by both Slave and Courting. Dispite the grammarical errors and minor discrepencies (how would Becka know the cookie note by heart if she wasn't previously Sera's best friend, for instance?), your stories are very well executed, and, best of all, they are filled with surprising and creative elements. I don't believe you've recycled these worlds from any other source--they're entirely yours. Very refreshing-- I was never sure what would happen next.

Thank you and brava, Storm!

I got very emotional reading this chapter, had a box of tissus at the ready,, The guys are cunt struck. Please hurry with next chapter.

this is actually my favorite story on here!! i cant wait until the next chapter!!

HURRY!!!

U r gud! U captured my heart n courting a vampire nw u r ptin it under lock nd key. Can nt wait 4 nxt update. Also cnt wait 4 a bit of romance to gt mixed in da stry.

Here I am crying like a baby.....GREAT JOB! Keep them coming!

I'm not used to crying over a story but dammit! That's exactly what I'm here doing. Keep up the good work and can't wait for the next chapter.

Your story is beautiful and I must confess like many others, it made me cry, please submit the next chapter

The life you've painted with your words... poignant...heartfelt, striking, wounded, prideful, ahhh...I can't wait! Please don't make me wait...

I have come here at least four times a day just to see if you updated :) I even went so far as reading all the comments just in case you will give us a clue to how far you are.

The boys are being assholes, I cannot understand why though because the previous night they where all love and support. I think its because they saw her semi naked now feel awkward? really give a viewpoint from the guys point of view pretty please.

Really cannot wait till next installment!

Keep them coming please, awesome read. Make her rave in jealousy!

I love this, I even cried when reading it! Please hurry to write the next chapter! I've got a theory about what's happening and I can't wait to see if I might be right and read more of this wonderful story!

Lovely, I think I've checked this story twice a day since I found it to see if you've added more. I just love the world you've created, and I must see where your characters go.

Hello everyone. Im just giving everyone a bit of an update. Chapter three has been submitted, the reason it takes so long for them to be posted is that Literotica's people have to manually go through it, because I send it as a .rtf My editor and I are even furthur than that, so it isnt a matter of writing the next chapter as getting it submitted and posted, because my wonderful editor and I are a few chapters ahead. ^_^ anyway, I hope this gives everyone some hope, and Im glad you are all liking this story so much.

StormHerald

This is one of the most promising stories I have ever read.!

How long ago was ch.3 submitted.??? We all want more now(:

My only comlaint is that it isn't longer.

This is a wonderful story.

I am really enjoying it - I love your characters.

One teensy complaint - you say these chapters have been read by an editor yet they are still littered with mistakes. This shorter chapter has at least 7 or 8 grammar/spelling mistakes. Nothing major, but they still should have been picked up. You may want to consider another editor/proof reader.

hey im so addicted to ur stories it amazes me how good u are! and this story would be great i love reading a story and its stuck in my head for a couple of days ur stories are like that and i cant wait for the next chapter.

I love the emotion, the story line just the hold thing, and can't wait for the next chapter. Please tell me next one will be out soon.

This is so emotional! And is so typical of the two boys fighting over a female!!!! I say add a third man in that is fitting of Sera! She definitely deserves someone better!

Oh my god. This has to be one of the best stories i have ever read. Not to brag, but I`ve read a lot of books. I love how the story is not focused on sex, rather the feelings and decriptions of her surroundings.

I would also like to say, you really dragged out my emotions for this one. When she`s sad, I`m sad. When she got accepted, i literally got up and started dancing.

Please keep writing, and I will keep reading.

I got only a few feet before I listened to Isadorre yelling, "someone had better explain what's going on, and I don't want to hear a single syllable out of you Miss Patrine. And while your at it, someone can tell me why she has a bruise as black as my hair on her wrist!!!"

Patrine is a surname OTL

I feel guilty reading this for free.

Yes I know we all say stuff like that about the productions of the best writers on lit. Congratulations, you just joined that club.

I like Isadorre! Victor seems to be an upstanding being, but his son needs to grow up!

You're making me cry!!!

i cried like a baby, hope the boys get their act together soon.

Oh my god! Why are you making me cry? I don't cry when I read something. How are you doing this? Oh my god, i need to read more.

i never cry........be it watching a movie or reading.................u have a gift...............i love your pieces...........MARVELLOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW! You must know what it's like to be ignored but people you thought were your friends. It was so real, I felt like it was me.

This chapter brought me to tears--hope she kick the you know what out of the 'boys'.

I think I've found a rare treasure in this story. I was dubious after the first chapter whether or not I'd be able to follow such a complicated societal structure, but I really love Sera's strength and fortitude. She also owns her emotions, showing her vulnerability instead of hiding from it. That always pisses me off. It doesn't make a character stronger to hide their flaws, it makes them weaker. Love it. Keep it up.

I have reread this story a million times and every time I sob at the cookies and milk part!

It is rare that I comment on stories but this world you have created, and deeply sucked me into is beautifully written. I was shedding tears for the loneliness that I think everyone can identify with and awed by Sera's strength to press on. Thank you for writing this!

This is...amazing. I can't even believe how emotional it is, you are amazing...

I actually cried! Cried! At the end. WOW

What a wonderful chapter, I write this with a tear trickling down my face. Loved it

I cried at the emotion you evoked through this chapter and that is something I hardly do.

I comend you on your writing and hope you carry on to do more.

I have never commented on anyone's story before, but I feel I need to on this story. You are so talented in your writing. Please don't ever quit writing, we need more people to write stories with such raw emotions. Just amazing.

God, i can t stop crying. You really packed alot into this story. Loving it!

I don't get why the guys are completely ignoring her. It doesn't really make sense that they'd be there for her one day and not the next. I can maybe see them being distant at school but at home too? It makes no sense at all!

Is this new chick a siren or something? why is everyone drawn to her?

Is this dark haired girl a witch? Why would her "brothers" abandon her with naught a change except between one day and the next?

The story continues to be wholly non-erotic... the opposite in fact, angsty and overly emotional - it's a teen drama thus far.

At least the vamps don't sparkle... that's my one consolation.

All that said? It's well written. I am able to relate to Sera and I share nothing with her experience or character IRL. That alone drives the rating I gave.

However I won't keep reading 'twilight' much longer.

JT

I literally started crying in the middle of reading this..... amazingly well written

The letter that her mother would write and the story behind the cookies almost made bawl like a little girl

I feel the way that her mother is still with her is very satisfying. It doesn't outright say that her soul comforts her but it is implied that it does from beyond the grave and I love that.

wow

Oh hells teeth... I didn’t expect to sob

Beautiful. Best story I have ever read on this site. Thank you.