All Comments on 'The Proper Rules For Strip Poker Ch. 05'

That was a great Chapter that you wrote. The chapter was long but read quite easily throughout. I know you said this was the last chapter for this series. But I hope you write another one because I like the way you write the characters and you've added more characters and more situations that could be explored for them.

Fabulous - thanks.

The best praise should be the one in the previous comment:

please continue! You have built real characters and dynamics. Perhaps an added detail of taste or smell would give some additional flavour--but that is a suggestion for improving a very good piece.

The 100 is for how much fun it is to read, but the grammar and spelling deserve more like a 50. Sorry.

Great story series. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

The visuals are excellent, but put more effort into smell, taste and touch. Please continue

I was sure that you were going to get the two sisters together with him! With the description of the story, I thought that maybe Jayne, Kathy, AND Debbie might wind up sharing him! Kind of disappointed with the ending, but it's your story and it was still hot, so why complain? I just hope that, if you are planning on ending THIS story at chapter five, maybe you will spin some of the characters off so that the stories will be a bit shorter and you don't have to spend five pages describing the wardrobe of the party guests. ;-)

Great job, once again, and I hope to read more about this group, in part or in whole, in more stories to come.

By the way, there are a few spelling and grammar errors, as well as typographical errors that proof-reading would easily catch, just so you are aware of them, but don't let that keep you from writing. You are far too talented in your word-pictures to have to worry about simple mistakes spoiling the readers' enjoyment, although they are like little farts during sex if you get the image. ;-)

... stop this series. I know that it takes a great deal of effort, but it is one of the two finest series that has been written on this site - even better than mine. The character development is excellent, the dialogue is great and the sex is not only hot but it is realistic. You realize that first time sex is fumbles especially when it involves two first timers. Please continue (Jayne, Kathy and "I"), even if it takes several months.

You really know how to keep people hanging. I expect there will be a follow-up. Great stuff, all of it

Certainly one of the best stories I have read. Just the right mix of everything.

Please continue with as many epilogues as you want

Thanks much for the wonderful series. I think it's a great mix of great descriptions of realistic characters and of great sex.

I did have a little trouble keeping some of the people's names straight. I tend to remember names by sound moreso than spelling, so I had a little trouble keeping Jane and Jayne separate. In one of John D. MacDonald's collections of old stories, he said that for the book, he revised a few details in some. Where he had previously used character names that started with the same initial or were otherwise similar, for the revision, he made sure that each character was the only one with that initial and that the names were otherwise quite distinct.

I also saw a few places where there were minor spelling or wording issues. If you'd like specifics, please email me.

Please dont stop this series it's pretty good at least please don't finish on a cliffhanger ! Please finish properly! The suspense is a killer. Forgive the non use of the comma keyboard is broken.

Unfortunately, we are still waiting for the blow by blow description of what was happening downstairs after Jayne and friend went upstairs.

PLUS, a new game with an entirely new set of beginners might have exciting potential...

P.S. Your intro to the Peanut Butter story suggests that some thing your stories are to tame? I for one think you have the level just right in the Proper Rules series.

It would be nice to know what others think.

Red

Yes, please keep 'em coming, Paul--you're one of the best on the site, in my book.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading the Proper rules series. You took time to develop the characters, making each person seem real, with his or her own personality. I also think that you were right to spend time describing the environment, and not focus only on the more sexual aspects, as happens too often in this kind of literature.

It would be nice to hear about the last strip poker game that took place when the narrator and Jayne went upstairs, perhaps through the eyes of one of the other participants. This would give a really good conclusion.

I owe you a note. Nothing that I have ever read on this site has stuck with me the way this series has. It is so sweetly erotic, and hovers on the edge between realism and fantasy. (I think the first story I read of yours was actually the college strip poker one, which led me to track this one down.)

There truly is precious little on this site that rivals this little tale, and in fact it was my belief that I could come close to it that caused me to cross the line and start writing myself (not unlike what you say in your profile). Little did I know what a flood that would set off :)

In one of my own stories that has turned into a bit of a saga, I used some card games starting at around chapter 4 as a device. I didn't even try to recreate the tension you play out so well, here. It was more like "and then, having lost the game, she....." But I footnoted a reference to you in the comments section.

I don't even know if you are still active here, I don't know if you've been allowed to retire or if you've taken up serious writing. But I know I like getting a positive comment, now and then.

Here is mine. :)

Peace.

Brandie69

This is one of the hottest stories I have ever read anywhere. Althought it missed a few twists I would hope it would have taken, it is very well written, and gave me a great deal of pleasure!

I've read this series and feel compelled to tell you how much I enjoyed it despite the implausibility factor. Where were these kids when I was growing up? Your story telling is impeccable, and I have to confess I was aroused throughout. Lovely job, although it should be noted that your dialog rings more like middle-aged people write than young people talk. But overall sexy as can be and entertaining always. Thanks.

Agree with some of the other commentators, that there are many options to continue and to develop the characters. Would love to read more of this!

I loved it and want more. Please don't leave these characters hanging. Closure is important.

I loved that story all 5 parts and 5 stars

AAAAAANNNNNNNDDD!!!!!!

That's it? A great story and I love your style, also a convinced believer in quitting while ahead but sooooo disappointed it didn't progress into threesomes, foursomes and moresomes. Here's hoping that one day you will tell us what happened next.

I need more! Especially want to here more about the mom and where that goes. You did a great job!

more, More, MORE, PLEASE !

I enjoyed your story. But at some point, throughout the series, I noticed that there was an over use of exclamation mark. It was something which was over used a lot, which made it at some point a bit annoying. Maybe its because I havent read that many stories with these many ' ! '. I would definitely recommend using full stops rather than exclamation marks wherever you can. But thats just my personal opinion. Otherwise, its a good story

I hope we get to read the next chapter. Awesome story.