The Proposal

This was my first introduction to the market lifestyle. People liked to haggle, and I wasn't great at that. Bea on the other hand as a genius. A real people person, and they loved her. She spent ages talking personally to each customer, or prospective customer. Polite, witty charming. I left her to it and wandered around the market. There was so much cool shit, plus tons of fresh produce, way cheaper than supermarkets. I loved it.

I brought some Ramen noodles and took them back for lunch. I was a bit nervous after seeing all the other stalls, we had a ton of competition.

Walking back in, the first thing that hit me, was space, there was room where stuff used to be. "Have you sold some stuff?" I asked handing her, the noodles.

Her smile gave it away. She said nothing as she dove into her polystyrene container of piping hot noodles.

At the end of the day we did a quick count up, and we made fifteen hundred dollars. I was stunned, we made money.

It got better, every weekend we did a little better, and we had to buy more stock. I also had to organise a bigger storage unit.

Things were so great between Bea and I. I thought that spending so much time together might be a strain, but if anything, it brought us closer together. We became tighter, a working unit.

I will admit, I got little pangs of jealousy watching her flirt with female customers, that was part of her nature, she was a flirt, a natural magnet to others, especially women. And even though I was no expert, I recognised some were lesbians, and were clearly searching her out.

Bea, though, loved to chat with them, flirt, entertain herself with their interest. She never gave me cause for concern, worry yeah, but that was more my own insecurities left over from Franki.

Lesbians actually became a big part of our extended circle of friends. I found it interesting to talk to them, see how their minds worked. It took me a while, because I was hardly welcomed in with loving arms. They saw me as an intruder, a hanger on. Bea, was in the same boat, bisexual people as a rule were frowned upon. For the women fighting for equal rights, the hard core feminists. They saw bisexuality as people playing with curiosity, they didn't understand that some people could swing both ways. In their eyes, you were gay or straight. Anything else was just bullshit. You either loved pussy, or cock...

Once they took the time to talk to and make friends with Bea, they realised, she was just as ferocious about women's rights as they were. She had similar beliefs, she just didn't see the line in the sand, which said stand on this side, or that side.

As the market grew in popularity, Bea started to get itchy feet about making it larger, and I saw her logic, I was just scared to take that step. So I was like the anchor of reason hanging painfully from her neck. I was her handbrake.

"Hi Max."

Normally that wasn't something that scared me, but I knew that voice, I knew it well. Realising it was Franki uttering those words, sent an icy chill down my spine. At the time I was bent over unpacking a salt lamp, replacing one that I just sold.

"Hello Franki, what brings you down here?"

With a nervous twitching smile she said awkwardly. "I came down to see Bea."

"What, why would you do that?"

"She's my friend, we talk a fair bit, and she told me about her stall, and I wanted to catch up in person for a change."

"Friends, since when?"

"Since the wedding. You're lucky, she is a wonderful person. I'm glad for you."

"Um, thanks I think."

"No, I mean it. She told me all about your stall, and your dreams. I'm so happy for you. I'm glad you found her. Is she here?"

"She's out walking around. She's supposed to be finding us lunch, but I figure she's trying to steal something at a bargain price from some unsuspecting victim."

"Hah, hah," She laughed softly, her warm soothing voice, it still resonated within me, still made me feel warm. "I might wander off and see if I can find her."

"Just follow the raised voices, she will be haggling with somebody."

"Thanks, it was nice seeing you again. I miss you." The sad reflective tone evoked old memories, long since buried emotions.

"Yes, I missed you as well. Be safe." I mumbled stupidly, trying to sound uncaring.

She wandered off, and I went back about my business. It was the pre lunch rush we always got, and being on my own meant I was swamped with customers. One after the other, they targeted me, regular customers knew I was shit at haggling, and I think if they seriously wanted something, they waited until I was by myself.

I was much more likely to accept their cheeky offers.

It was about an hour or so later Bea wandered back in carrying a plate of Thai curry. As she handed it over she sniggered. "Shit, you've been busy. Gave most of it away did you?"

"No I bloody didn't, you cheeky bitch. Didn't you get yourself some?"

"Yeah, Franki and I had some from that little food caravan down the next aisle."

Filling my mouth greedily i mumbled through the food. "What's with that? She told me you guys are friends?"

She gave me one of her cheeky flirty grins. "Yeah, we sort of kept in touch after the wedding. I told you I like her."

"Yeah, but she's my ex for fucks sake."

"Oh boo hoo. So what?"

"I wanted to have a clean break. I wasn't expecting her to be back in my life."

"She's not in your life, she's in mine, and I like her."

"That's crap, if she's in your life, she's in mine. We're supposed to be a couple."

"Yeah, a couple of weirdos. Look babe, she is nice. I know what happened between you guys was pretty fucked up, but she paid the price."

"What do you mean paid the price, she got what she wanted."

"No she didn't Maxy. She fucked up. She admits it freely. She never wanted to lose you. She went with Kath to make money for you. She told me how obsessed you were about buying a house. She saw the dollar signs and thought why not."

"That's not true. She was interested in that dyke before she left."

Anger ripped her voice as she snapped. "Don't ever use that word around me again. I know you're still hurting. That is no excuse. You're wrong as well. Franki never set out to sleep with Kath, she was honest with me. Kath just found a way into her heart, and consequently, her panties."

"Bullshit." I blasted out vitriolically. "Sorry for the insults, but she knew."

"No babe, it happens. I never expected to sleep with you. You were the first man in my life for a long time, I was more gay than straight until you."

"Yeah, but you're Bi."

"Forget the labels, we're all just people. From what Franki said, Kath was a lovely person and they found a mutual connection."

Just then Franki walked in carrying bags of fresh produce, flowers and a few trinkets. "hey Bea, I'm leaving. Thanks for showing me around, and lunch. Next time it will be my shout." She glanced at me. "It really was nice to see you again Max."

Before she walked out, Bea walked over and hugged and kissed her lightly. "It was a blast girl. Let's do it again."

"Oh yes please, will you be back next weekend?"

"Yep, sure will, next time we will get you that armoire, I'll work on him some more, if not I can get one with our next shipment."

Franki grinned widely. "That would be choice, thanks chick."

As she walked off Bea giggled. "You're just worried cos we can talk about our favourite subject."

"And what would that be?" I asked fearing the answer.

"You babycakes, we talk about you."

"Fuck you can be a bitch." I sneered.

"And proud of it."

Franki turning up at the market became a regular occurrence, and even although I tried to keep my distance, it was impossible. One or the other would turn up with food at lunch time, and we sat huddled together at the back of the stall eating.

Okay, I admit that it was nice catching up with Franki. We slowly over the weeks following, fashioned a bit of a relationship. She didn't have a new partner. She admitted dating a few, men and women, but had so far been unable to find somebody she wanted permanently in her life.

It was the Sunday Bea was ill, and I had to run the market by myself, when things changed between us. Bea, struggled with her monthly visitor, and suffered with severe cramps and stomach pains. On this particular day, it was severe in the extreme and she stayed at home in bed.

Anyway, I was busy setting up the stall, putting out all the stock when Franki turned up. "What are you doing here?" I asked confused.

"Came down to help, Bea called and said she was ill. She asked if I was busy, so here I am. What do you want me to do?"

"Franki, I'm okay, you don't need to be here."

"Nonsense, Bea would shoot me if I didn't stay."

I gave her some instructions and she set about helping. As we worked away she said. "You know if you kept the money from Kath, you could actually turn this into a proper business, buy a shop, or something."

"We're doing okay with this, it is making good money, we do hope to turn it into something better in due course."

"Max, if it's the money, I could loan you some?"

"No thanks Franki, we are doing all right. I know Bea is getting itchy but within a few months we will be able to move on."

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to be pushy. It is your life."

We had a load of customers through the stall, it was one of our busier days. "Golly, is it always like this?"

"Yeah pretty much, it slows down after lunch, but even then it can be busy."

Franki pitched in, dressed in her designer jeans, and expensive sneakers she didn't hold back. At lunch time she scooted out. "I'll get lunch."

She was gone before I could argue. She returned with burgers, not just burgers. These were wonderful gourmet ones from a food cart. I loved them, and somehow Franki knew it.

We sat guiltily scoffing and filling our faces as we tried not to be seen by customers. We had a few laughs as she tried to eat like a lady. Impossible with monster burgers.

"I'm sorry about what happened Max."

She looked at me with sad eyes. It obviously still affected her. "It's okay Franki. Maybe it was supposed to happen. Who knows."

"No, it wasn't right, I need to find the right words. I'm not sorry it happened. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you first, try to make things right. I should have done things differently, and I should have returned with you. Going off with Kath like that was unforgivable. If it was me, I would have been mortified."

"Frankie, it's okay. I get it. A lot of time has passed and I am now in a space to say. I forgive you."

She switched between crying and smiling, as she wiped her dribbling eyes. "Thank you Max. I love you, I need you to know that. I never stopped loving you."

"That's not true, you stopped loving me, the day you went of with that bitch."

She cringed at the insult. "No, I did a silly thing, but I never stopped loving you. I foolishly thought our love would carry us through that."

"It's done and dusted. Do you ever hear from her?"

"Yes, we have got together a few times, we holiday together when we can. She came to New Zealand, to help me close out the salon deal. She has been wonderful."

"I'm sorry, I don't get it Franki. She destroyed our marriage. How can you say that about her?"

"She didn't destroy our marriage. I did. She made us an offer, and we accepted that offer. Where I went wrong was not being honest with you. I thought I would be able to ignore her obvious intent. I was never interested in girls."

Again she wiped away some tears as I went out to serve. When I returned she was more in control. "When I realised I had fallen for her. I should have told you, explained it better. I just felt so guilty, and so ashamed. It was easier not to talk to you. I put all my eggs in the one basket. Our love was so strong it would survive."

"Telling me you were going to sleep with her wouldn't have changed my disgust with you. You ripped my heart out."

"I'm sorry Max, I really am. I think about our life together all the time. I miss you just as much today. Kath opened my eyes to something that as dormant inside me. Something I had never experienced, and I love it. There is a part of me, that is separate from the rest, a little corner that needs to be fed. I know this sounds ludicrous, but I found I can love more than one person."

"You can't, it's not possible."

"It is Max, it really is. I love you in a way that can never be replaced, but I love Kath in a different way. It is love none the less. We only see each other a few times a year, but I need that. She is my guide, my mentor. She has turned my business into one of the most successful in the City, gained me so much."

"That's all good Franki, but now from what Bea tells me, you live alone, with no love in your life."

"No, that's not true. I live alone by choice. It's true I don't have a partner, but I have friends, lovers, and Kath. Yes, I miss you like crazy. Yes I yearn to have you back in my life. But I don't live a sad life. I have hope."

"Did you tell Bea that you still want me?" It was an accusation, a challenge.

"Yes actually I have."

That shocked me. "What did she say?"

"She accepts that we both love you. She said that she would share if you could accept it."

That wiped the smug smile off my face. "She said no such thing." I snarled belligerently.

"Sorry, but she did, asked her yourself."

We got a small after lunch crowd, but soon we were packing up. At the end of the day, I pulled out two hundred dollars and handed it to Franki. "What's that for?"

"Helping me today. I assume you are happy with thirty-five bucks an hour?"

"Max, I'm not taking your money. I came down to help a friend."

I tried to get her to take it, but she refused. It annoyed me, because I didn't want to owe her for anything.

At home that afternoon, I found Bea still curled up in bed suffering. "How did it go?" She croaked as I popped my head in the bedroom.

"Went well, apart from bloody Franki turning up."

There was a groggy giggle. "She said she might."

"Only because you bloody asked her."

She rolled over to stare at me. Her eyes, red and puffy. The pain obvious. "I thought it would be good for you two to talk. Find a way to be friends. I like her, I want her in my life. For that, I need the pair of you to be in the same room without fighting."

I didn't want to fight, I could see her pain, but the words were out before I could stop them. "Did you tell her some shit about sharing me?"

"Yes I did."

"Jesus Bea, when were you going to tell me that little tit bit."

"Maybe never, maybe when or if I thought you were in a place where you could accept it."

"So you'd be okay with me going off to bang her?"

"What, fuck no. Never in a million years. When I said share, I meant like the three of us together."

"What." She's my bloody ex you stupid woman. I don't want anything to do with her."

"Yeah, well you should tell your eyes that. I see the way they follow her around like a lovesick puppy whenever she comes into the stall. It's okay Maxy, I think she's hot as well. I don't mind you looking, but if you ever touched her behind my back. You would end up, with your severed dick shoved up your arse."

"Then what the hell are you talking about?"

"Not now Max, I'm not in the mood."

I left her to sleep, and went out to make some dinner. I took in her favourite Cranberry chicken salad.

She sat propped up against pillows and ate slowly. "Are you going into work tomorrow?" I asked.

She nodded, "Yeah, this is the worst I have had, but hopefully tomorrow should be okay."

"Why not go to the bloody doctor, I have been harping on for ages."

She nodded, her mouthful. "But I like you looking after me."

"I can still look after you if you get better."

It was then she sprang it on me. "Maxy, I'm scared. There is a history in my family, and I'm not sure I want the fucking answer."

Confused, scared, anxiety gripping my insides, I reached for her hand. "What are you talking about?"

"In my family, there is a history of difficulties. My Mother had to have a hysterectomy after I was born. She suffered with heavy painful periods. She was told she was lucky that I was conceived. I worry that I might be the same. What if i can't have children?"

"Oh bloody hell, don't be daft. You can't go through life like this. Every month it seems to get worse. Jesus for days after you period, you can barely cope. You can't bend over, or lift things. So what if you can't have children?"

"Maxy, I love you, I hope you know that. I know you want children. I couldn't bare losing you."

"Shit, what sort of arsehole do you think I am. Shit if you can't have children, then we will adopt."

"You wouldn't leave me?" The tears streamed down her face, in unstoppable rivers.

"No, never, you are not getting rid of me."

We hugged it out and I cried as hard as she did.

She booked a visit to the doctor the following week. The doctor referred her to a gynaecologist, she was booked in for all sorts of tests.

Fibroids are non-cancerous growths that develop in or around the womb (uterus).

We sat across the table from the gynaecologist as she explained.

"Bea, we think you are suffering from, Fibroids, they are non cancerous growths made up of muscle and fibrous tissue. They develop in or around the womb and vary in size. They're sometimes known as uterine myomas or leiomyomas. We can try medication, but seeing how severe your symptoms are I am going to recommend you have a hysterectomy."

Bea was unable to hold back the tears. And I had to hold her tight to stem the flow. "It's okay Bea, we can get a second opinion, there may be medicines, treatments. I don't care how much it costs."

The doctor waited for a quiet moment, before she said. "By all means, get a second, or third opinion. I can recommend other specialists. In fact I think you should."

We did, we got three more opinions, we researched treatment, we joined forums and chat groups but it seemed the only real solution was hysterectomy.

Bea surprised me with her next plan. "We will have a baby now. Right now, no waiting."

"No, god know. I love you Bea, and I would love children, but not at the risk of your life, or even just living with the pain you are in."

"But we will never have children?"

"Who cares, noisy little bastards, they will just bleed us dry and fuck off with someone we don't like. No, we're better off without them."

"Dickhead." She sneered.

The problem was we didn't have medical insurance, and the waiting list was huge. I had to convince Bea to let me book her in for the surgery in a private hospital. "What, no way. We can't afford that."

"Yes we can, the stall has been doing so well, we can dip into that."

"No, the stall is our future. If we are going to open a proper shop and build for the future, we need to protect those funds. We will go on the waiting list."

There was no way I was letting her sit out the never ending waiting list. I booked her into a private clinic and made all the arrangements.

When I told her she blew up and screamed painfully at me. "You fucking moron. I said no, we can't afford it. We will wait like everybody else."

"We don't have to wait. I have the money."

"We bloody don't. I know you are trying to help but we can't afford it." The vehemence in her impassioned response took me by surprise. She grabbed the car keys off the bench and stormed out. I was left staring at the slammed door, listening to her little Nissan screaming in pain as she sped out the driveway.

She was gone for hours. I tried time and again to call her, sent texts. Nothing, she ignored all my attempts.

It was later I got a call I wasn't expecting. "Max."

"Franki, what do you want?"

"It's Bea, she's here with me. I just wanted you to know she's safe."