All Comments on 'The Proposal Ch. 02'

But writing isn't tv, or a movie... jump cut scenes don't work well in a story... Tie ins are good, setting the scene with a sentance that tells the reader there is a shift is a good thing. but a great story, good chars and an interesting level of involvement... Keep up the good work.

I've just sat through reading two rather long chapters at 3AM in the morning, so the stories MUST be pretty good, right? Actually they are better than pretty good. It is erotica but well leavened with romance. Is chapter 2 the end, or is there more to come? Hope there's more. I like your characters and would like to read more about them.

Excellent story!! The character development is great, and the story line itself is fascinatingly entertaining.

There are a few elements which need a good editor (of/off, and a few other such errors). And the transitions between conversations or places & times need something to tell the reader that there is a change. (The lack makes for a moment of distraction, of difficult reading.)

But overall, this writing is great stuff.

-- KVK

your story was wonderful, but at first I was really confused. There were too many characters that didn't jibe with the heart of the story, but hey, I am not a writer and only enjoy reading. Thank you for pulling it all together, by the end of the story I was crying happy tears.

The touch - the flow - the arcs - the changes - great stuff author - I'm not having any problem following you and like the subtle changes from scene to scene.

Go For It - thanks - with High Regard

Love the plot and character development of this story, but an editor would be a great idea. Especially with the "too/to" bits, which can really be distracting. Keep up the good work.

well written; you have caught my full attention. But now comes the bad news: either work up your grammar or do something to catch your editor's attention. There are at least 5 doo-doos in this story; I'll let you hunt for them yourself.

A good writer like you shouldn't leave so many disturbing scats in the road.

Such a fun and flirty story. I love the characters. Can I have a sugar daddy please?

This chapter was even better then the first. Now I'm hooked.

sticky goo? yuck!

I like how this story is turning up. One of the few stories from the site whose plot actually ain't lacking in substance.