The Pulse Pt. 06

"But we're busier than ever. Nick was saying that we were going to need another person in the warehouse just to..."

"Enough. I've always treated you well but to find out about your true character from people I respect has been a shock. You're no longer welcome here."

"Who?! Who is spreading lies about me?"

"That's enough. Now get out before I have you thrown out."

I felt the Pulse swirling around me but I forced it down. I didn't want to be around people like this if they were going to believe baseless rumours over two years of knowing me, knowing my work, my character.

"You're making a huge mistake believing foul rumours spread by jealous morons."

"Jealous? Of you? Get out!"

His disdain and guffaw of laughter as he said the word you was almost too much to bear.

I turned on my heel and walked out to the office, head held high. Fiona's desk was empty and the other girls were standing in front of the corridor to the toilets. I had a sudden irrational urge to shout 'Boo' at them just to see what would happen. I almost made myself laugh at the ridiculousness of it. Instead I went back down the stairs, ignored Nick and went out to my car.

Someone had scratched "RAPIST" across the bonnet using a key.

I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. My eyes glazed and I doubled over the car trying to breathe. I was so angry that it was all I could do to stop the Pulse from raging through me. I wanted to set fire to the warehouse. I wanted to force the people in there to believe me. I wanted to drag Fiona out and make her understand that this was all lies.

I fought all that and I won. Barely.

I stood up straight and got into the car. Once I was out of sight of the warehouse and office I deliberately reached for the Pulse.

Pulse.

Green power flowed out from me and I restored the perfect finish on my bonnet. I drove away without looking back.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

When I got home I was a bundle of trapped energy. I had to do something.

I made a huge sandwich to address my hunger pangs and then sat down to work out a plan.

I tore a page out of my Chemistry workbook and looked at it. A simple A4 sheet with pre-printed lines stared back at me. How to begin?

1) Find the source of the rumours

2) Kill them

I tore the paper up and tried again.

1) Who hates me this much that they would want to hurt me?

I knew that I wasn't popular. It had been rubbed in my face for six years. But truth be told, the vast majority of people just didn't care about me. They didn't care enough to help me when I was being bullied and didn't care enough to do something as malicious as this.

I went back and forth in my head. The rugby guys were obvious suspects but the key ones were all vegetables. Except for Harry Youle and he was in hospital last I'd heard.

I continued going through more and more minor slights, insults and grievances until I realised that I was wasting time. No one was going to go to the trouble of putting this sort of thing out there unless they had a genuine reason or they had something to gain.

Did Fiona have an ex-boyfriend? Could he be jealous? Was this a way of removing me? That was plausible. But I couldn't ask her and she hadn't talked about her past history and I hadn't been interested. It just didn't matter. Maybe it did now. I'd have to get in touch with her somehow.

Oh yeah. And then tell her that I fucked Christine McConnell.

How could I be so stupid?

I wallowed in self-pity for a while before pulling myself back to the task at hand. The one I could actually do something about. I kept coming back to Youle the Tool.

What if he'd remembered?

I thought back to my glib comments to Jamie.

" 'It's why Youle won't say a word. It's far too embarrassing.' "

And it was far too embarrassing. Imagine being one of the big fish in the school pond and having someone like me not only punch him in front of his mates but put him in hospital! It would be crippling.

So what if he'd decided to do something about it? The more I thought about it the more it made sense. But Harry Youle had always been a product of his surroundings. He was a follower not a leader. Plus he was a bit thick. It was being part of the gang that gave him the balls and backup that he needed. Otherwise he was basically a coward. Chris Waite and the others like Brian Edgerton weren't around any more to protect him and provide that false sense of bravado. Did he really have the friends and people around him that could pull this off?

I didn't think so but I didn't have any better ideas.

I sighed in exasperation.

The rest of the day was spent going through every kind of eventuality that I could come up with, all of which ended in dead ends or were so improbable that I discarded them.

As soon as Mum came through the door I knew that she'd heard the rumours too.

"Jake..."

"Mum, surely you can't believe this."

"I can't but I've had to sit and listen to people telling me what a horrible mother I've been or acting as if I didn't exist all day. It's been appalling. Jake, what on earth has started this?"

"I have no idea! All I can think of is that someone got jealous after I rescued Tina and got some press attention. I swear I've done nothing to anyone. You've brought me up far too well to even consider something like that."

"Oh Jake.." She started to cry, obviously trying to hold it back. That was too much for me and the stresses of the day overflowed and we both burst into tears hugging each other.

And that's how Dad found us when he burst through the door ten minutes later. To my eternal gratitude he was flaming mad. Not just angry. Incandescent.

"Who's done this to you Jake? Who's done this to us? What scum of the earth would come up with stories like this? Just point me in the right direction. I'll call the police and I know a magistrate that could help me. Maybe Mr Lathan could help..."

"Dad."

"Who was it, son? What can I do to help? I'll batter the evil bastards into the vile excrement that they crawled out of! I'll..."

"Dad!"

I stopped him and he joined in our hug.

"Why would they do this to you Jake? You're a good lad." He had tears in his eyes as he said it.

I just shrugged, unable to speak.

Once the emotions subsided we settled down onto the sofa. Mum looked me straight in the eye and said,

"What happened at the McConnell's, Jake? Why are they talking about rape? What is it that people are using against you?"

I held my breath unsure quite how much I could say. But if not to my family then to who? So it almost all came out. How I realised that Christine liked me but that I had only really been invited because I looked the part. How she'd made her preferences well known and when I was drunk that we'd had sex away from all the others.

"But she was the instigator. I promise. I was flattered and it's not like I can't claim I wasn't involved but she was the aggressor. And when we finished we went back to the party and if she was embarrassed about who she'd been with she could have just said that we didn't do anything."

"And what about Fiona?"

"Mum, I feel absolutely sick about it. I'm going to have to tell her."

She nodded brusquely though she was obviously unhappy.

"I wouldn't have expected anything less from you Jake."

I nodded unhappy at the prospect and dreading the conversation.

"So Christine is a possible."

"I can't see it, Dad, unless something has changed pretty drastically that I don't know about."

"So what else?"

"By the end of the night everyone was pretty drunk and even though I'd stopped drinking anything but punch after...you know... I was still pretty well gone. I think someone was spiking my drinks. I went upstairs to the room that she'd told me to use..."

"Wait, I thought that it was sleeping bags on the floor?"

"So did I but she said there were tons of bedrooms so why not?"

"And?"

"And I woke up with a crowd of drunk naked girls around me."

"Oh my god." My mother's hands covered her mouth.

"They were pawing at me but I pushed them off and told them that I wasn't interested. I left the room and when I came back they must have been so drunk that they all fell asleep up there in the room. I showered and drank a ton of water and then left as soon as I could."

"Jake, I think you were a bit naive."

I hung my head. I knew that now.

"It sounds like they'd brought you along for their entertainment. I don't think you were supposed to have any morals. For some eighteen year old kids I'm sure that would be a dream come true but I'm guessing that's not how it felt to you."

I shook my head, feeling embarrassed that the set up hadn't been clearer to me. And dammit Ami had tried to warn me. And there I was thinking that I was popular and that Christine actually liked me.

I felt so foolish.

"But none of it explains something as vicious as this date rape rumour. Jake, are you sure there was nothing more to it?"

"Completely sure. I think someone just saw an opportunity to get at me based on hearing about the party. Presumably because they weren't invited."

"Who could that be? Who hates you that much?"

I shook my head. I was unable to tell them about Harry and what I'd done to him. But the more that I thought about it the more things pointed his way.

That evening we talked it through a bit more over dinner, watched a movie, and by the time I headed up to bed I was feeling thoroughly loved in only the way that a family can make you feel.

It was as I was going to bed that the phone rang. Mum called me back downstairs.

"Jake, it's Fiona."

"Fiona? How are you?"

"Is it true Jake? I have to know."

She sounded so despondent it hurt.

"No, of course it's not true. Look, are you in a phone box? Give me the number and I'll call you back."

She was obviously upset as she read back the number. I hung up quickly and redialled, desperate to hear her voice again.

"Fiona?"

"I can't stay long Jake, I've had to sneak out of the house. My parents have gone absolutely insane. They want to get me medically tested and they want to have you charged by the police. I've spent the last three hours telling them that I was not raped and that this isn't true. But they've been so insistent I had to hear it from you."

"Oh Fiona, I'm so sorry. I wish that I could be there and that they could hear it all from me. It's so unfair that you're being put through this."

"So what is the truth? What would you tell them?"

"I'd tell them that I'm a middling chemistry student and that my teacher would tell them that I wouldn't know where to start in creating a date rape drug. Then I'd ask them to talk to my parents and my neighbour. To people that have known me all my life and ask them whether the boy that they know is capable of these things."

"And what about the party?"

"I was set up. I thought that I'd been invited because Christine liked me. It turns out that I was a piece of meat that she wanted to use and abuse with her friends. For some guys that might be OK but for me it wasn't. I got the hell out of there when any of that started going on and they were so drunk that they fell asleep. Maybe some of those girls think that they're so irresistible that they got upset when I didn't want them. I have no idea."

"So where did this come from? My parents told me before I heard it from my girlfriend."

"That's what worries me. I have no idea. I don't know anyone that I could have pissed off enough to make them want to do this. It's a pretty thorough character assassination job."

"A jilted girlfriend?" she half-joked.

"But I haven't been out with anyone except you and..."

"And...?"

"I did have a study session with Jennifer Sawyer. She made it into something more and then it all blew up because she thinks that I'm too poor to be around."

"Whilst you've been seeing me?"

I heard the disappointment in her voice and had to force myself to continue.

"This was the Wednesday after our very first date."

More silence, so I just ploughed on.

"We kissed but nothing more. But she then mistook Tina hugging me as me not wanting to be with her and she hasn't talked to me since."

"Tina?"

"Oh god, this isn't sounding good. Tina Lathan has a crush on me. I've agreed to go with her to a Muse concert as a sort of chaperone. Me rescuing her has made the crush rather worse but I've told her that I'm with you and that I don't want to give her the wrong idea."

"You really don't know what you're doing do you?"

"Not a clue Fiona. I wish I did."

"I'm glad you don't. I trust you Jake."

I would truly have no moral fibre left if I didn't say something now. It was one of the hardest things that I've ever done.

"Fiona..."

"Yes..?"

"I do have a confession."

"Oh."

"At the McConnell's. It's no excuse but I'd drunk much too much champagne, and I'd decided to go for a walk down their garden to clear my head. Christine came along with me. She pretty much threw herself at me and...oh god, I hate myself but I wasn't strong enough or sober enough to say no. We had sex."

There was a sigh from Fiona. She almost sounded relieved.

"I know."

My jaw dropped open.

"You already knew?"

"Yes. Christine called me to crow about it. We've had a hate hate relationship since year ten. She told me she'd invited you just to ruin our relationship. But she sounded like she got more than she bargained for. Jake...I hate you so much right now but I hate her so much more for doing this to you."

"Oh Fiona, I'm so sorry. I've wanted to tell you but had no way of getting in touch without making things worse with your parents and now this..."

"What made you do it Jake? Wasn't what we did the night before enough?"

"Of course it was enough. I...", I lapsed into silence for a few seconds. I swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I've never been in that sort of situation before. I've never been popular. Never been invited to these things. I had no idea that people could be this petty and cruel. So I was taking things at face value. But it's still no excuse. I was drunk, she got me all heated up and I couldn't control myself."

I had tears rolling down my cheeks as I said,

"You're probably better off without me."

She was silent again.

"Can you come and pick me up from the end of our road, tomorrow night at midnight?"

"Of course."

"Do that. Come and tell me in person, not down the phone. Tell me again with me looking you in the eye and we'll decide then if we would be better off together or not. It'll give me the chance to sleep on it. I have to go or I'll be missed. Good night Jake."

"Good night Fiona, and thank you."

I put the receiver down and rushed up to my room past the enquiring faces of my parents. I threw myself onto my bed and cried my eyes out.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

I was woken up the next morning by the phone ringing. It was eight o'clock. I wiped away the eye bogeys and staggered downstairs, looking like something that the cat had dragged in.

Dad was just putting down the receiver.

"Morning Jake. You need to go and get dressed."

"Why?"

"Joe Lathan is coming over."

"Tina's dad?"

He nodded.

"But why?"

"Seems like he's heard the rumours and wants to get to the bottom of things."

"You mean he thinks I raped Tina?" I said with a degree of incredulity.

"I don't think so. He sounded thoughtful on the phone. But he is obviously intelligent enough to want to make his own mind up. So get dressed in something that fits you and is clean and get back down here."

I bolted back up the stairs and was through the shower and dressed in record time. I was into my third bowl of shreddies when the doorbell sounded.

Dad got the door and Joe Lathan filled the doorway. He was a large man in every respect. He was also a pillar of the community and just to have him at our house in the middle of these rumours was a huge positive.

He was dressed in a pinstripe double breasted suit and everything about him was polished and correct.

Dad welcomed him and brought him into the sitting room. Mr Lathan looked slightly uncomfortable, pulling at his shirt sleeves and fiddling with his cuff links. He declined tea and sat down. The three of us settled into seats around him expectantly.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you so early in the morning but I felt that it couldn't wait. I've been hearing the most appalling rumours that I find very hard to believe. However, when I suggested to Tina that perhaps she shouldn't go to this concert with you on Saturday she was furious. She was so upset with me for giving in to public opinion and... I was ashamed of myself. So I came here to see what I could do and offer you all my support. We all owe you so much for stopping..."

He choked up at just the mention of it and my Dad quickly cleared his throat.

"Joe, we're so grateful to you. It means a lot that you'd come and be seen with us and share your confidence that this is nothing but baseless slander. Where did you hear it from?"

"I was at a local business breakfast and one of my closest friends told me. They'd put two and two together that it was the same Jake that had rescued Tina."

"Can you ask him where he heard about it? We've been trying to get to the bottom of this thing but no one can tell us who started it."

"I can. Whether he'll have any better luck than you I don't know."

"It must have come from someone pretty believable to gain traction like this."

He nodded.

"Jake. I know that this can't be true. Tina didn't want to call because she was worried that she would be interrupting you all at a very trying time. But I wanted to convey that she would very much like you to still go with her to the Muse concert if you're still willing to go."

I was overwhelmed with gratitude that they would be so steadfast when others who had known me all their lives were distancing themselves from me.

"Thank you Mr Lathan. I'm humbled that you'd come all this way to show your support. And of course, I'd be delighted to take Tina to the concert."

"Good. Tina will be pleased and I will be far happier that you will be there with her."

He stood up and stretched out a large hand. I quickly stood up and we shook hands.

"Take care of her for me Jake. We trust you."

I had a lump in my mouth.

"Of course."

"I'll leave you all to your breakfasts. I need to go and get the train but if you need anything then please call. In the meantime I'll be in touch once I have any more news about where this is coming from."

He headed out of the door with more handshakes before climbing into his car and driving away.

As Dad shut the door we all hugged each other in relief.

"That's a powerful man to have on your side, Jake. Don't screw things up with Tina."

"I won't. She's been a good friend since I met her."

"Good. Right, I'm going to be late."

And with that both parents disappeared off to get ready for work, with everyone feeling considerably happier than they had been when they woke up this morning.

I sat back down in the kitchen and finished my breakfast. It was such a relief to know that someone out there was in my corner. I felt better about starting to find out who had started this. What I needed was someone who was really connected and might be able to point me in the right direction.

But who? I spent the next thirty minutes pacing up and down discarding names until it suddenly came to me.

Mrs Thorne! She'd been at the school forever and if she didn't know who I should be looking at then she would definitely be able to suggest some good leads. I had a dig around for her number and finally found it in the phone book.

I waited until half past nine to make sure that she was up and then dialled the number.

"Hello?"

"Mrs Thorne, it's Jake Conway."

"Jake! How are you? I can't believe this nonsense that I'm hearing about you."