All Comments on 'The Pursuit of Pleasure Ch. 01'

Good plot! My advice would be to go back and spellcheck/proofread. Some of the grammar made it hard to read.

All I have to say is maybe have someone edit this for you or just edit it a bit yourself, it's true the grammar is a little off. But I loved the visuals and the story, I'd like a spin-off with Olivia the Asian girl.

This was the worst fucking piece of shit ive ever read. You switch between tenses in so many sentences I lost count. The plot does not make sense. What the fuck is wrong with you?