All Comments on 'The Red Pick-up'

Your stories are bullshit.

know how you do it, but it's great. a fan always.

each one is different, and as readers we never know where you are going until you get there.

You might think that the idea of "it's just a dream" would be tired and stale, but I liked the way it worked in this story. I also found the passionate emotions of the characters very powerful.

Thanks for your work--I look forward to more!

ohio

He was day dreaming what he would it would be like with another woman but that is just dreaming.

well written to my taste even the lover in his dream was cukoled and she didnt turn the wife against Dave.

The story and writing were ackward, disjointed, unbelieveable,simplistic dialogue, confusing.anon jerry

Crap

I enjoyed it, and yet I think there's so much room for improvement. A few grammatical errors, the spelling could be cleaned up.

The twist, that the two girls are making love when he thinks it's a guy is cool, but then, when the two girls want to invite him into the triad was too sudden, too close after the emotion & shock of thinking his wife is cheating.

If the triad had happened after a few weeks or months, it would have been more believable.

What?

who?

where?

I've gone back three times and the phrasing is still so messed up nothing is clear.

Is he still on the road? did he arrive at the cabin?

Is he inside? How did his sister get there?

Are we talking about a dream?

What?

...so it seems everything is ok - just because Alex was a woman? Alli has lied to him, deceived him for years, yet you concider it okay because of the extra cunt he would be able to get? Poor judgement or rather inconsequent behaviour?

Leaves a lot of questions, especially I do not regard you as being one of those thousands of wimpy, cuckold-loving authors that gather in this shitty site more and more..What the fuck happened?

Since readers (or at least, commenters) seem confused, here's my take on it.

He arrives at the cabin, so exhausted that he falls asleep in his vehicle. Since his last waking thought is wondering (and worrying ) about a red pick-up, his subconscious mind constructs the whole story that we read about up until Allison shakes him out of his slumber.

Leaving the reader to wonder whether the vivid dream is wishful thinking or incipient fear over what his marriage may become.

Since I do not like being fooled into thinking a dream really happened, only to discover all I was reading had been a dream (yeah, yeah, I know it's ALL fiction),

even though it's well-written and compelling,

I rated it 3 stars.

Paul in Oklahoma

???????

rightbankover 8 years ago

this does not make any sense at all

who?

where?

I've gone back three times and the phrasing is still so messed up nothing is clear.

Is he still on the road? did he arrive at the cabin?

Is he inside? How did his sister get there?

Are we talking about a dream?

What THE FUCK is/was this? NOT a story, too much all over the globe!!!