The Refuge Ch. 01

Note to Reader:

This is a work of erotic fiction, but mostly fantasy. All persons depicted within are over 18 years of age. A romantic vision; all persons and places are fictional. Any reference to real people and places are incidental in nature and unintentional. The majority of this story is romantic in nature, between a man and a woman, however, this story will also eventually include sexual relations between two women, and between two women and a man that will include various fetish scenarios. If this is not what you are looking for, please find another story.

This is also a multi-chapter story, with some chapters dedicated more to plot and character development, though all chapters will contain some element of erotica.

*

Finding My Heart again

I checked my itinerary for the tenth time. The first break out session for the Teaching Tech Conference I was attending was scheduled to start in no less than ten minutes and I was hopelessly lost in the large and intricately laid out San Francisco Design Center/Hotel.

Where in the hell was conference room "Willow End B"? If I didn't find it soon, I was going to be late and my principal would accuse me of skipping out on a paid conference. I fairly ran through the hall with the map under my nose.

All around me people were finding their rooms here and there, emptying the hall of anyone I could possibly ask for help. All of a sudden, I ran smack into what felt like a brick wall. My itinerary and bag went flying, papers fluttered around me and littered the floor as my feet were knocked out from under me. I hit the carpeted hall with a dull thud, a small, 'oof' of surprise and pain flew out to mix with the papers floating down around me.

"Oh my god, are you ok?!" A deep, masculine voice, laced with concern sounded right above me and I instantly blushed with embarrassment.

Something about his voice though was strangely familiar. I felt a large, warm hand touch my shoulder and I raised my head, opening my eyes to see a wall of my own blonde hair.

"I'm alright, I'm alright," I mumbled, mortified, and with the brick wall's help, I rose up on my knees, using my hands to sweep back my thick, wavy blond hair out of my eyes. As I did, I felt, rather than heard, the gasp of surprise from the brick wall that still held me in his arms and felt that shock from his body echo into mine. My mouth dropped open, too stunned to speak. My green eyes were glued to his blue ones and I felt unwelcome tears start to form at the corners of my eyes and in the back of my throat.

"Rosalyn, is that you?" His face was just as handsome as I remembered, though a bit more lined around the eyes and mouth. I swallowed hard and my body began to tremble with shock.

"David?" I gasped.

"Yes, oh my god, I can't believe this!" He crushed me to him in the middle of the empty conference hall. It had been fifteen years since I had last seen him. He was my first love, lost to teenage drama and time.

"I can't believe it's you," he whispered thickly to the top of my head. I couldn't respond, if I did, those tears that pushed at the back of my throat and eyes earlier would rise to the surface. All I could do was grip the front of his blue polo shirt in my fists.

I buried my face in the hollow of his throat. How could this be him? After all these years? How was this even possible? All of these questions crashed through my skull in those brief moments along with the overwhelming feeling of being home, a feeling I hadn't had in nearly fifteen years.

This, here, was my home, against his solid chest, wrapped in his arms, breathing in the smell of his skin. It was all so overwhelming and, trembling, I gave in to those tears, my body shaking with the ferocity and intensity of them.

"Hey, hey..." he squeezed me and rested his cheek on the top of my head, "it's ok, it's ok."

"I'm sorry, David, I'm just so surprised, kind of overwhelmed and more than a little embarrassed." I choked into his neck.

David laughed gently, "Your tears always came so easily. It's nice to see that hasn't changed. Let's get up off the floor, though, and out of the way of death by possible stampede." He pulled back and helped me gather up my scattered things and then helped me stand.

We moved off to the side of the hall where a row of padded benches sat against large glass windows, his hand pressed to the small of my back guiding me there. Outside, the gray January morning drizzled on the glass and I shivered at the press of the cool panes against my back when I leaned against them for support.

"Here," David handed me a neat, ivory linen handkerchief.

"Thank you," I mumbled, embarrassed all over again. I used his handkerchief which smelled like him to tidy up my face and my insides clenched as his sent washed over and through me. I resisted the impulse, barely, to crush the handkerchief to my face and breath deeply.

He waited patiently beside me and when I had finally gotten myself together I asked, "How, how is this possible? How are you here, at a teaching conference of all places? Are you a teacher?"

"Oh, well, I am a software developer and my firm is here speaking at the conference. One of my colleagues who is speaking at a breakout session had a family emergency so I am standing in for him during the second round of sessions today, but, wow! You're a teacher, just like you always wanted." I nodded, smiling up into those eyes that I still dreamed about in spite of everything that happened between us.

"Wow, what are the odds of that happening, you and I being at the same conference at the same time?"

"A lot more than you think. My firm is based in San Francisco and I live in Benicia, but, oh wow, just look at you!" David leaned back and looked me over, his eyes shining. "You're stunning, even more so than I remembered."

"Thank you. That was, what, fifteen years ago now, since we've seen each other? I'm sure you're not remembering me right, but you, you look..." like you stepped out of my dreams, I thought to myself. "You look fit and healthy, just like I remember you, though now with a little grey." I reached up and boldly touched the spot of grey at his temples.

He smiled and my insides melted. That smile... my heart beat quicker and my breath hitched. He was so beautiful, like a dream come to life. His hair was still thick and a deep brown, with subtle waves at its longest parts. He had it trimmed in a business man's cut, but it was thick enough to sink fingers into at the top.

He still had those large, intensely blue eyes that were thickly lashed and seemed to lance me to the core. His nose was long and Roman, curving slightly downward at the tip. His top lip had a deep cupid's bow while his bottom lip was thick in the middle. I remembered what it felt like between my teeth and heat shot through me, making my legs clench together involuntarily.

"You're blushing, god," he chuckled and smiled in that way he had that made my mouth water. "How I've missed you; your 'drop-of-the-hat' tears, your smile, and your porcelain skin that so easily shows that oh-so-quick blush." He stroked a long, tapered finger down the side of my face, following the line of my blush. I felt my face heat even more.

"Well, you were always good at bringing them out in me." I trapped his hand beneath my own and took it from my face, bringing it down to my lap. His hands looked a little thicker, more lined, and seemed to be trembling just a bit within my own. He was just over two years older than me and if I was 36 and two months, he was 38, but he didn't look it at all except for an extra line or two here and there, a little grey at his temples.

He didn't take his hand from mine but turned his over and squeezed my hand. He was still intently studying my face, and I began to feel self conscious. I knew that my mascara must be smudged from my tears and my nose was probably red.

My phone chirped in the pocket of my mauve blazer and I jumped as if I had been pulled out of a trance. I pulled my hand from his and looked at my phone. It was a text from my boss, asking where I was, and I jumped up off the bench.

"Oh, my goodness, David, I need to get into the first seminar. That was my principal asking where I was."

"Of course, I'm so sorry. I was on my way to help out in another session before presenting this afternoon. Which one are you heading to?"

"To the K-12 tech in this Willow room, or something. I was actually hopelessly lost when we ran into each other, literally."

"Well, we are both in luck, then, because I happen to know this conference hall like the back of my hand. My firm holds meetings here all the time. I'll take you there." A part of me smiled, glad for his help, but another part of me froze at the suggestion. There was a reason we hadn't talked in fifteen years. We had hurt each other so badly. I had hurt him, and he had hurt me to the point that I had lived beneath the crushing weight of my agony for years, using it like armor against any other man that tried to get close.

I had loved this man like I have never loved another man in my life, and he had loved me in ways no other man has ever loved me. How could I walk next to him and forget those old wounds that even now felt as if they had barely knit closed. He offered his arm to me, and despite those thoughts I found myself hooking my arm in his, letting him lead me along.

"This feels strange," I whispered in the empty hall, my short legs taking two steps to each of his. He was just over half a foot taller than me and muscular. The arm against my side was corded and hard, his skin tanned with a light smattering of dark hair.

"It does, a little, doesn't it." David laughed, "almost as if there weren't fifteen years between the last time we saw each other, god... was it that long ago? Looking at you, it doesn't seem that way. You are just like I remember you. Same pretty smile, same glowing blonde hair, same..." he paused, and his eyes flicked down the V of my soft pink blouse beneath my mauve jacket, "shape."

"Don't let the clothes fool you. Underneath this, there are layers of spandex holding me together, I promise you." David laughed.

"Same sense of humor too. I've missed that the most I think, among other things about you." I blushed again.

"You've held your shape pretty well too, but then it was always easy for you. I've had to work hard to get back to any kind of shape after having my son."

"A son, that's awesome. Any other children? And a husband to go with?"

"No other children, just the one, and... no, no husband, not anymore... not for the last ten months anyway..." I trailed off, feeling a little exposed and venerable, so much so that I couldn't talk about that part of me at the moment.

David stopped me just outside a double door with "201B" written over the top of it. I glared at the doors. "Willow Room" my ass.

"I'm... sorry to hear that." He said halfheartedly.

"Really? You sound so sorry," I said with the same tone of voice.

"I know, I can't help it. There is still a part of me that growls at the thought of another man touching you. I think that part always will." My heart swelled at the words and I felt transported back in time to my 16 year old self that first fell in love with this man.

"Well, just as long as that 'growl' doesn't get you into trouble with your own wife?" It was a question, though I didn't mean for it to come out that way.

"Yes, I am married. For over ten years now. Two kids, a boy and a girl, both under ten. How old is your boy?"

"Seven and a half now, but, even though I'd love to hear more about what must be your absolutely beautiful wife, I do really need to get in there and go to work. My boss will be angry. You're sure this the right room? It said 'Willow' on the itinerary." David sighed and let loose my arm only to catch my hand.

"Yes, it is the right rom, and I know I need to let you go, but I, and don't take this..." he bit his lip, "hell, take it any way you want, I am finding it incredibly hard to let you go." He looked me in the eyes in that stead-fast way of his, holding my green gaze in his deep blue.

"But then I've always had that problem, haven't I?" I drew in a breath at that, his seeming timidity at revealing that specific weakness pulled at me.

"Will you have dinner with me tonight after the second round of break out sessions to catch up? There's so much I want to say to you, I..." he stopped, his voice breaking a bit and my heart squeezed in response. He bit his trembling bottom lip before laughing softly at himself. "Ugh, look at me, now I'm crying."

"Yes," I broke in, "I will go to dinner with you. Get out your phone." He pulled his phone from his pocket without letting go of my hand. I gave him my number and he typed it in. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket before he put his away.

"There, now you have my number. Call me or text me when you're done with session two and I'll take you to this Italian restaurant nearby. You like Italian still, don't you?"

"Yes," I said, pleased that he remembered. He moved out of my way, but held on to my hand. I gave it a squeeze, but he didn't let it go.

"It's hard to let you go." David had that choked up look on his face again and I pulled him in to me, wrapping my arms around him. He sighed deeply and hugged me to his chest.

"I promise to call you and go to dinner with you. It won't be long till then. I won't break my promise, David." Not this time, I added to myself. He squeezed me again and then let me go.

"Ok, I guess I'll see you then." He smiled softly while I turned away from him and opened the door to the session. I couldn't resist looking back once over my shoulder to watch him walk away through the hall before turning to step in the room.

***************

I set my bag and notes on the bed, kicking off my black heels as I did, relieved to let my size seven feet free. It was a quarter to five and I had just begged free of my fellow teachers and boss who had been pressing me to go to dinner with them. It was the first night of a three night conference, and the thought of David and my promise to spend dinner with him forced me to flee their company for the evening, feigning illness. Well, not really feigning as I was feeling quite nauseous at the thought of spending the evening in close proximity to the man I had loved more than any other person on the entire planet, even, let's face it, my late husband.

I caught sight of myself in the mirror. My face looked drawn and pinched, as if in pain. How could I spend the evening with David and then just let him go at the end of it, pretending that his nearness still doesn't affect me, that his touch on my hand, on the small of my back, didn't make me feel weak and hungry for him all over again as if I was still a teenager begging for more.

I turned away from the mirror in disgust. Here I was lusting after a man that was married with children, entertaining the thought of, well, of kissing him, touching him, diving back into him and losing myself like I did when I was a kid. It wasn't right of me to want these things still, to lust after him when he was married. It wasn't right of me and I felt ashamed of myself.

I made my way to the bathroom to wash my face and prepare for the evening. I felt the need for a shower after the long day and uneasy thoughts. I showered and patted my hair with a towel, letting the natural waves form and dry in the air. The weight of my hair would make them look like sexy beach waves, but I tried not to think too much about looking sexy for this unattainable man that used to be mine.

I didn't have many items of clothing to choose from, but I did have one outfit that I had reserved for the drive home that wasn't slacks, blouse, and a blazer, and luckily I had brought more than the necessary changes of panties and bras, like any sensible woman.

I studied my body critically in the mirror, trying to see what David had seen that afternoon. I was definitely more round than I had been when David had known me, my hips and thighs a little wider, my chest now a generous D cup rather than the C cup of my youth, though they had still held onto that softly curving teardrop shape.

After a child, and a healthy dose of depression following my husband's death, my body had fluctuated in size which could easily be seen by the pale, streaky stretch marks that hugged the bottom of my belly, sides of my breasts, and tops of my thighs. Luckily, I had recently gotten my weight under control and was the healthiest I had ever been in several years. I felt like I was finally starting to heal, to accept the loss of my husband. I spent a great deal of time watching what I ate closely and running in the mornings before school started each day, though that activity alone wouldn't take away the soft, stretched skin that remained.

I knew it shouldn't matter that I was healthy, that I shouldn't care if he cared, but I did. I did care, because I knew he cared. Health was very important to David, as was education. Once upon a time, when I had loved him more than anything, I had failed to love myself in the same way and I chose unhealthy habits for my body and my mind, something I know disappointed him. It pleased me now to be the woman that I knew he had hoped I would turn out to be. I was educated, with a bachelors in English and a Masters in education, along with a teaching credential, and I was physically healthy.

I pulled on my loose, soft jeans that I had planned to drive home in. They were more like leggings but with jean material and fit me like yoga pants. The black, jersey knit, V-neck henley that I put on over my black demi bra was warm and comfy from long time use. For protection against the coastal January chill that pervaded the evening, I pulled on a thick fleece jacket, sea-foam green in color.

Just as I had stepped into a pair of slip-on Vans in the same sea-foam green color, my phone rang from its place on the bedside table where it was charging. I snatched it from the charger in my haste, feeling butterflies beat themselves against my breast bone.

"Hello," I breathed into the phone.

"Hey, this is David."

"Hi," I felt my insides flutter at the sound of his voice and hoped I didn't sound like a giddy school girl.

"So, are we still on for dinner? Cause, I'm downstairs in the lobby, if you still wanted to have dinner with me?" He sounded hesitantly hopeful, as if he half expected me to have changed my mind.

"Of course, I'll be right down, see you soon." I clicked off the phone and grabbed my brown carry purse with a strap long enough to throw over my head and wear across my body. I felt giddy on the surface, but underneath that, shame and a little fear still lurked, ready to crush my happiness if I gave it a moment's thought. In minutes I was at the elevator and then then out and into the lobby.

David was standing near the elevator bank. He had exchanged his khaki pants and blue polo shirt for dark blue jeans and a charcoal gray tee beneath a black fleece jacket. The sight of him was breathtaking to the point that I felt weak at the knees. He was so handsome, so unbelievably remarkable standing there. His shoulders were broad and his chest wide beneath his jacket, tapering down to a narrow waist and masculine hips. His thighs were well carved beneath his jeans, demonstrating the same raw power that had been there in youth.

I hadn't realized I had stopped at the sight of him until he started to walk toward me, that boyish grin spreading over his face revealing his perfectly shaped, white teeth.

"Hey," he stopped right in front of me, seeming to tower over me now that I had flats on instead of my two inch heels. He reached out and drew his fingers through the ends of my still slightly damp hair. "Your hair's so long. I can't remember you ever having it this long." I swallowed and nodded my head.