by Darlin92
Yes, Cain PLEASE hurry and save Malia! This is terrible! I hope you let us see the long slow deaths these three bastards have coming to them! Whipping Malia and shooting poor Gwen! And tormenting Cain with those horrible pictures!! I can't stand it. Please let Cain rescue Malia as soon as possible!! Before Vincent can put is filthy hands or anything else on her again. And PLEASE submit the next chapter quickly. I'm on pins and needles. Cain and Tristan need their HEA! And they both need to admit their love of their ladies! 5 stars despite the terror. ~K.
OMG....I hope Caín gets to her before Anthing else happens please dont let vincent hurt her anymore he has to save her ontime and please hurry with the next chapter need to now what happens now....
The thought of her body getting all scarred up. Can't wait to see what happens to these three once Cain finds them. Great chapter. Can't wait to see where this story goes.
You're graphic style brings out the torture with toe curling detail.
Yay! So glad you posted another chapter! Thanks!
That was really scary.... I feel bad for Malia. :(
Very gripping read, I am glad you have written it as it is, straight and gritty. I like others want to see Malia saved, but I am not sure who I should like to get to who. God help Denizan if Malia's father sees those pictures and it would be fun if Tristan could catch Lutz. Dutari of course is Cains.........it's a great chapter, I hope the truth comes out re the Units because of it, Malia deserves that after all she has been put through. Thanks.
but there has to be a bad guy so that our hero can shine by saving the day and the girl right? Vincent was just so bad that he crosses the line into being evil. Very we'll written though. Definitely no Vincent sex and please hurry Cain!
Almost passed out myself from reading all the inhumane torture Malia went through.
Please send Cain to the rescue FAST!!!!
I did not think you had that in you. To put to paper that scene, to have Milia harmed b/4 a rescue attempt, WOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!
Still think Milly is involved. Maybe she was the anon that brought dezi/lutz together again.
Your first Anon comment was most of my reactions once I finished . But this time it took me longer to read that any of your other chapters. I had to put it down, refocus, breathe deeply, walk away and try to regroup. This was just too much.
Yet the chapter catapults you into a writers space that I can't even name yet. This story has been unbelievably amazing. This chapter is just insane!!!! How shameful that you can only get 5 stars, it is far beyond many others here. This story has been major big league material, but this chapter was EPIC!!!!!
I thought the last cliffhanger was tough...this one is going to be torturous (no pun intended) waiting for the next chapter. I'm with everyone else, please rescue Malia soon before any real damage / disfigurement has been done. ALWAYS 5 STARS! Thanks again!
Uh I'm in hate with you right now for ending the chapter right there. I need to read more like now.this was so good and poor Gwen.so much crazy in one update, loved it.five stars
I had really enjoyed the story up to this chapter and was consistently giving 4-5 stars. I cant do that for this chapter. If this had been near the beginning I don't think I would have kept following the story. This too violent and not in keeping in tone with the previous chapters.
Well done! Although I'm always ready for the dominating male to finally realize he loves the girl, and to rush in and saver her just in time, I absolutely love the darkness and violence of this chapter. It makes it more realistic. In real life, the girl would most likely end up badly tortured and abused before he was found, or she'd end up dead. (Yeah, I know it's a story...but a little reality mixed in isn't a bad thing.) The fact that Malia is in real trouble and is not going to escape pain gives ths story more depth for me. She has to lose hope just a little, and Cain needs to truly understand what he is losing if he doesn't get to her in time. If/when Cain does get to her, they'll both hopefully know what really exists between them. And Cain will have to be there for her as she recovers, to help her heal physically, mentally & emotionally. Which also happens to be something I love in a story (should that happen in this one). Of course, her family will be pissed he let all this happen and not let him near her, which could present some awesome drama later. Hmmm...
Thanks!
AP-
wow what a cliff hanger. hope for a speedy next chapter. i love your writing and think your definatly one of the best.
Okay, I think this is the most mixed reviews I've had in a chapter and I've gotta say I kinda like it. For those of you who loved it, I'm glad. For those of you who didn't, let me assure you this was a tough one for me to write for the same reasons I think it was tough for you to read. I definitely had to release my inner sadist for getting into Vincent's character and surprisingly enough I don't have much of a stomach for torture scenes. You'll notice that not much actual torture has taken place, she was whipped with a bullwhip so far. Though I will admit Vincent's language was quite graphic and the whole finger molestation thing was disturbing. With that being said I think this was needed for the story to progress further, and it was planned from the beginning. Without sounding too defensive I would like to point out that you are not supposed to like Vincent's character, in fact you're supposed to hate him violently. Malia has now been kidnapped twice, I wanted to show the symmetry there so I could contrast Cain and Vincent. Cain also kidnapped her, but even at his worst he wasn't even in the same ballpark in his treatment towards her. I fear I sounded very defensive anyway, so please forgive me if that's the case :). I appreciate all of the comments. I love to know how people feel about the story even if they didn't particularly like it.
@cassiec : it is very cruel to title your comment 'hate' and follow with a positive comment :) when i look at my author's page it only shows the titles of the comments before I click to read them. Not nice to scare me like that lol
@masterfuljim: Thank you very much. Your lovely compliment is very eloquently put.
@Mayness: I'm glad you liked it. When I posted I knew some people would not be especially fond of it, but I'm happy to see that you did. I like that you've focused on the future well-deserved vengeance her captors may have coming for them. Kind of what I was hoping for.
@inspector123: I'm sorry you were dreading this, but yes indeed every chapter cannot be about hearts and rose petals, or I would have to change categories. I think some parts of this story were already a stretch for the whole non-con thing anyway.
@redyellowgo: Thank you so much for the accolades. I'm glad you had such a strong reaction, if a bit mixed. The torture parts in my opinion were a necessary evil in the story, I'm happy that you like the story as a whole even if those scenes were tough to get through.
@aurapheonix: I'm happy you feel that way. I don't really like the stories were the hero rushes in to find the damsel in distress just as something is about to happen. It's very unlikely and always comes off as just ridiculous to me, did the villains leave a map of their location with the hero? I don't think it's too much of a spoiler to say that I don't plan on killing Malia off, so I'm already getting into that grey area of unlikeliness. Her leaving unscathed just seems boring to me and yes, unrealistic. Thanks for reading.
I've been reading this story for sometime, but this is the first time I felt the need to comment. I was horrified at the torture scenes, fearful for Gwen, happy that Cain and Malia realized their love for each other, angry it took this for them to realize that, but you see that's what I loved about this chapter, all the emotions it pulled from me. It's also set me up for some much needed excitement I haven't has for your story for a few chapters. I can't wait till Cain get his hands on Malia's captors and I hope he keeps his promise and makes them pay slowly. I'm excited to see how this will shift their relationship, both for the positive and the negative. So as hard as this chapter was to read, I think it was needed. Keep up the good work, I feel like a breath of fresh air has been blown onto your story. I look forward to reading more, again. :)
"Oh Nooooooooooo!"
Actually, it wasn't as heinous as I thought it would be from the early comments. (Jeeze, what does that say about me?) The only question I have is whether Vincent will get a clean shot between the eyes or a bit of his own medicine?
You did an excellent job portraying the thoughts and emotions of all of your characters-good and bad. The events were very realistic and create a major turning point for the story. This chapter is a prime example of a bad thing being a good thing.
I would like to see a different twist rather than evil enemy torturing heroine and hero saves her in the end sort of thing, I like ur writing very much but I did not like this one coz it reminds me of taking of lena. Again love ur writing, thank u so much
How Malia doesn't even KNOOOOOOOOOOOW that Cain cares for her!!! That is such a nice twist to her situation! You have done well!! Enjoyed this chapter and the character growth for everyone. Hard to read through, but well written! I especially enjoyed how you set it up for Cain to find out who has Malia! I found myself being pleasantly surprised!
Want him to suffer ten times as much as Malia under Cain's hands......a quick death is too good for the likes of the scumbag......maybe a penile castration is in order?
@anon: You know when I read that chapter of The taking of Lena I was like 'damn, she beat me to it'. I knew there were going to be similarities before I even finished writing this chapter, but I didn't want to change my whole plan for wrapping up the story. Sorry if it didn't seem original to you, I assure you this was the direction I had planned from the beginning.
Indeed FA_JF , all of my submissions from now on will be a paragraph long to get a leg up on the competition ;)
Wow - another great chapter. Very bold. Excellent build up. Like everyone else, I'll be waiting for the next chapter (or should I say paragraph?) LOL
~LB
You did such a great job of describing Malia's pain. It was very powerful and very difficult to read. I have to admit that I did not feel good after reading this chapter. My only hope is that Cain rescues her very soon and makes Vincent and his cohorts suffer for a very long time. Read "The Family Ritual Ch. 27" (BDSM). that may be too good for him.
Oh I almost felt like puking into the trashcan (just like Cain did) after reading about Vincent telling Malia he intends to "roast" her pussy with a burning iron......("feeling faint")
Another amazing chapter!!! Hopefully Cain never calls her "girlie"...cringe.
I really like how Tristan's character grows stronger with every chapter. He's quickly becoming my favorite. - thanks - Tatum
Ahh! What a crazy chapter! Definitely stomach-churning, and I can't wait for more. Please hurry!
Although a little difficult to read, I thought the chapter was great! Please please please don't let Vincent's torture sessions continue though. I hate the idea of being internally burned, it makes mad feel pretty sick. Love how Tristan's story is progressing, maybe do a spin off? And please don't leave us hanging for so long for the next chapter! x
Great chapter, well written lines from Blake and Vincent. But damn, they're not planning on pulling punches. The realism is appreciated, though. They would do something this horrible, to try to hit the nerve with Cain, not just some light spanking and slapping around.
It was cute how Malia was thinking Cain would not like being sent pictures, as it would mess with his pride LOL :) a bit more than that! And how she was going over things in her head to check that he would probably see her as a friend of sorts, still. LOL, if she only knew. Loved it.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Oh, and go Gwen! well done to her for staying alive and hearing names! :)
xxx
Hold on Malia, Cain is coming!
Now please Darlin92, please hurry! We need chapter 12!
Malia would be dead, mentally if not physically, from all that inhumane torturing, by the time Cain locates her.
Oops! I guess I'm waiting for chapter 12 to see if Cain rescues Malia before Vince does permanent damage and of course to see what happens to Vince (hopefully it's long, painful and slow!) .
Going crazy waiting to see if Cain gets there in time!!!!
I found this story yesterday and I'm sooooo bummed it isn't finished and I have to wait for the rest!
It's absolutely horrible that Malia got whipped and even molested but makes a much better read than getting rescued before anything really bad happens. Did a great job making me hate Vincent. I hope he gets the red hot poker up his ass!
Darlin, you are such an excellent writer. So young and already this polished!...I think you're going to have a very bright future.
Aw thanks most recent anon, I love new readers, and my faithful fans as well. Okay so an update was requested I see. Well, chapter 12 is started but just so. I'm going to be pretty busy the rest of the week as well as next week, so I don't know when I'm going to get good headway on this chapter but I've pretty much decided that it is going to be the last. :( As much as I've loved writing this story, I think I'm ready to wrap it up. But there will still be one more to finish it out, so not bad news exactly :) Thanks for reading and being patient.
I'm sad to hear there is only 1 more chapter of this wonderful story. Please, Please, PLEASE do not do what many of the authors do: reunite the main characters and end the story with only 1 or 2 scenes after. If this is the end, please give your readers a satisfying conclusion (and NOT a chapter years later in the story when the characters are married with children; we want scenes with Cain and Malia as they are now!)
You've created an interesting world and a sympathetic set of characters. I hope, once you wrap up this particular story, that you have more stories to tell about them all.
When is the next one coming out I really want to read it, like now lol
Okay so I've been avoiding this, but I will post an update though I have little to update you all with. As promised the last two weeks were crazy and zero writing got done. Then this week I got very little done in terms of writing. I tried to write today but it just wasn't coming to me and I started working on the start of another possible story. However I am going to finish this story 100% if I have to become reclusive to do it. I'm going to work on it this weekend. I'm not sure how much I'm going to get done but I just wanted to update you all so you aren't hoping for me to say it's posted anytime in the immediate future. Hopefully I can end it on a high note. Thanks for being patient with me.
We'll be here hun, whenever you find the time and inspiration to continue. Hope you'll remember to try and enjoy writing the remaining chap(s), and don't feel like you need to force it out :), we will be patient. take care.. xxx
(P.S. it may help to imagine whatever pours out on to the page as a very rough 1st draft only, that tends to take the pressure off things sometimes.. but that's probably very amateur advice LOL)
Hurry!!!
Think I've got to stop reading stories that aren't finished lol. I only read the 2nd and subsequent chapters if the story is great, as yours is, but I'm impatient for more if the story isn't yet finished. Please please do hurry I can wait to read more!
I really love this story and so want to read more and hopefully a happy ending! :) Please post more instalments soon! x
Love NikkixJx
Excellent. You are a great writer. I am sending inspiration vibes your way!
This story is amazing. I love how well you write a villain. I can picture is smug dirty face. Keep up the great work - thanks
I am so in love with this story. Can not wait for the next chapter. Sending writing juju your way Darlin92!!
I promise your wait is not in vain :)
It has taken me longer to write this final chapter than I would have liked or expected but I am working on it slowly but surely. I have about 8 doc pages written so far which really is not a lot and it isn't nearly close to done storyline-wise either, so I'm sorry to say that it isn't on the verge of being posted. Thank you all for the writing vibes, though not sure my creativity has been flowing of late, the thoughts are appreciated.
we will continue to wait as patiently as Lit fans are able to wait.
Patience is not one of our many virtues...
oh my gosh!! no no no you cannot end thee story in the next chapter! :O you must get this published!! brilliant work!!
x
Can we have just two pages first?.....pretty please?......or even one?.....
Hiya Darlin92,
Take your time and get the creative juices flowing again :-) We'll all be here for you when you get back :-) Big fan of your story and hope there are more to come!! :-)
I'm eagerly anticipating the next chapter! I hope to see it soon!
I did get a little writing done over my Thanksgiving break but with exams looming next week I have not been able to dedicate too much time to chapter 12. I would say I'm about halfway there. I probably won't have anything too substantial written until after my finals are done, unfortunately. Thanks for checking up and being patient, sorry about the wait. :)
I'd love to say hurry hurry but I completely understand!! Good luck on your finals and can't wait till the next chapter!
Look what I found--the story thread! (Sorry about the email!) As this is my very first time contacting any author on any story (and I've been reading them for many, many years on this site!) I feel stupid for not knowing about the storyboard. Thank you for the update on progress. It was not my intention to make you feel rushed or obligated to post on anyone else's timeframe. Only you know when it will be ready. I'm sure that it will be more than worth the wait, although I will hate knowing that this will be your final chapter. And most of all, thankyouthankyouthankyou for taking us all on such a wonderful journey. Reluctant?? I don't think so!
Misssarasmiles: please don't be sorry for any email, I'm glad you found the comments finally :) I don't feel rushed at all by your email it was very respectful
Anonymous Emailer(s): i've received 2 emails today by anonymous (i believe the same person) I do intend to finish the story. I don't know how helpful posting that here will be as I think I've made it quite clear that I'm a little busy at the moment with other things, so I'm not sure this person has found the comment section :( However if they have I assure you, I have not forgotten the story. Sorry you regret having started an unfinished story.
I know you have your age posted on your bio, but until you mentioned final exams it did not register in my brain just how young you might be. You really have a great future as a writer if you can create characters this vivid while still dealing with all the other pressures of student life. Good luck on your finals! I look forward to reading the chapter when it's finished.
So alright with waiting as long as you give us updates now and then like you have been :) This story is definitely worth the wait <3
take all the time you need
Don't worry Darlin! Use whatever time you will need to get this finished! We haven't given up on you or this story, and I definitely won't. It's been an adventure that you have dragged us into, and I will wait for the end, even if it's for years.
Okay I want to apologize for the terribly long wait, I know it was cruel and unusual. I do have good news though, I am finishing up the final chapter and it will be in the queue by tonight. I hope it will be worth the wait. Thanks for being patient.
Is what I'm waiting on! Can't wait to see how this all plays out! Thanks Darlin for a great read!
Okay I have some bad news. I completely jumped the gun on my estimation. I was one scene away from being done and I when I reread I realized it needed a little more. However it is now submitted and pending approval. As a consolation I will post a preview in my bio page again.
So sorry about the wait. :(
Hey :) thankyou for the update :) just wondering, how long does it usually take to get approval? X
it is supposed to take 3-7 days for the site to approve the story. Hopefully it is on the shorter end of that spectrum. :)
Wow! Another 5 stars. Unfortunately for me I’m squeamish and I didn’t scroll far enough down the page to avoid the planned torture...yuk!
Tess (uk)