All Comments on 'The Reluctant P.I.'

Fantastic story apart from the last 5 what the hell happened there I would have given 5stars but that last 5 just didn’t fit the story

Very well written story that was killed when it became a dream.

Never knowing if we mark on the quality of telling or how much we liked the story, I haven't left a mark.

I liked the story much better before it was a dream.

Hehe it was all a dream. Pam.eaking him up, the Nyquil, and the second to last sentence and the tag. Clever.

Big Bullshit

I had the same result with Nyquil! Give the author five stars and the cold and flu version of Mucinex!

I liked it, well done

That cough medicine is Great Shit! I liked it.....

well, this was an absolute piece of drivel.

it started out pretty promising actually, but the ending just flushed it all into the sewer.

Funny :)

"It was all a dream!" Nothing like taking a good story then dropping it in the toilet. I had my suspicions when he saw Pam at the hotel and didn't even think about his daughter but it turned out even worse than I was suspecting. It was also weird that Viv didn't object at all to fucking a guy who was coughing and sneezing everywhere.

Nice opening premise but it all went to shit at the end. Write another, serious story about a broke P.I. who got a raw deal from rich bastards and an ungrateful wife and I'd be glad to give it a read. Don't waste our time with this kind of drivel, though.

The very rare LYG story that I didn't enjoy. Very rare.

I was wondering about the low rating of this story. It started out good but then it was like the ending of another story was tacked onto the end. It didn't make sense. Sorry, but no.

You killed a great story

What happened here?

and still there was no closure, TK U MLJ LV NV

Unfortunately that ending killed what was an intriguing story.

The ending makes no sense. The rest of the story was a B-Rated detective story

What a fucked up ending.

All a dream. I am not creative enough to end it for you, but, it could have been so much better.

You wrote well, had a nice drama going, but you just lopped it off and "he woke up"

Well, at least it was short.

What did you do, get tired of writing? Most of the story was pretty good until they got into the hotel room & had a gun pulled on him. The story went to hell right after that. There was no ending! Nothing makes sense at the end. Too bad. You have potential, if you can figure out how to finish a story. Only a 2. A decent ending easily jacks the rating to a 4 or better.

with the chief ... but ya blew some effort on this one kid

Take off of the movie "Wisdom". Wasted ninety minutes of my life on that joke of a movie. Wasted another ten minutes reading this, this ....?

A man can dream, can't he? :)

This train really jumped the track at the end. The result is the story doesn't make any sense.

Got the Film Noire feel right. I could picture the dark and pouring rain as the gravelly voice narrates. He spoke as if it was an internal monologue that we were privy to. Well done.

I understand the problems associated with cough syrup and sanity. but I do not understand the twist at the end of the story. was there an ATF (FBI doesn't investigate counterfeiting) raid? Did he die? Is he divorced from Pam?

Is it Mast or Mask? sometimes the story goes one twist too far.

A fun read. Thanks for the offering.

Different, surprised, enjoyed a laugh for a change

Never quite the same perspective and some really nice ones to boot -

Not at all where I saw that one ending up - nice work -

The cold bit was great foreshadowing, but I never caught on until the very end. Things were just so weird that I continued reading to find out WTF was going on! Great story, thanks for sharing!

Author overdosed on Nyquil.....

NyQuil either knocks me out with clogged up sinuses in the morning like it does you or wires me up so I can hardly sleep at all.

Boyd

I suppose that if you've never taken this cold remedy before the end of the story would make little sense to you. Being an unthinking American, I appoligize to all of the readers that are not familiar with this American Icon drug. LYG

what a cop out for an ending.

Makes the whole exercise pointless.

So, what was the story here?

I laughed til I almost pee'd. What an ending

That stuff does the same thing to me too! Great twist at the end

Great story, nice twist. Take a bow, it's well deserved.

That came out of nowhere, I LOVED it!

up until the end, which was kind of a disappointment.

..need descriptions since they don't know what sex really is.

Could have done without the line about wanting to ass fuck her and the ending was a bit quick but overall well done

This man has some really vivid dreams.

He won't have any luck of drawing up the same dream; I never did.

You seemed to be leading up to something, but i really missed what it was!

Is there a sequal?