All Comments on 'The Rescue Pt. 02'

Wow, wow, wow. You obviously rock!!! Need the rest NOWWW!

You did not disappoint. Keep up the good work.

I normally come to Literotica to get hard but damn this is a great story! Keep up the great work; I'm lookin forward to your future installments.

I like it, but... Try to avoid the "magical negro" thing please :)

Very enjoyable and fun story by entertaining author. By the way, a lot of us old guys still use the word clip for magazine.

Trent's a dead man. Good aaction again

good action scene, the sex scene was unnecessary .

You really... Really need a better editor...

-jaye-

I’m still enjoying the story. A small suggestion if I may:

More paragraphs, they are our friends. I say “our” to include you as the author and us as your readers. Paragraphs add structure which makes it easier to read … but they also make it easier to write.

To this end, also try adding titles or headers to a change in scenery. For example, if the scene is with, let’s say Kenny, but suddenly changes to Michelle then title the ensuing section as “Michelle.”and so on.

A small thing I know, but it’s a great story and would be an even better read with an easier flow and no confusing changes in scenery.

Rant over! (Well it’s not really a rant, more of a quiet friendly suggestion).

Cheers, keep the great stories coming.

This has had the makings for a really good read. Adventure, characters, romance.

Lost for me in trying to read through all of the seeming effort to write a play, written so the actors have always active, present tense scripts.

Do Wish the author used a proof reader.

Craig

Same comment chapter 1. You seriously need an editor. What seems like is good story is messed up by bad writing.