All Comments on 'The Rescue Pt. 05'

I like the pace, and like the amount of dialogue. The storyline is compelling.

That said... I don't understand why Ken didn't tell Alex about the CIA contact during their phone call. They're SEALs and didn't survive by leaving details unattended.

I chalk it up to weariness and the distraction Michelle provides.

*cough* (I messed up) ;-)

Glad you're enjoying the story. Last part is waiting to be published and thanks for reading, rating and commenting.

I clawed my way through the chapters until I could simply drag my weary patience no further than page 2 of this one. For the love and mercy of a caring and just God, somebody drag this REDUNDANT and INANE excuse for witty banter out behind the barn and SHOOT IT IN THE FACE! JeeeZUS this has been as fulfilling and engrossing as a testicular massage with a cheese grater. IF you want the guy to be a killing machine with inner demons, and a heart of tarnished gold, then read some fucking John Ringo, then come back and post me a "Thank you" note!

P.S.

Lovedjustabouteverythingelseseriouslykeepupthegreatworkhopetoseemoresoonhuge

fanoknowfuckoff

Q

Drop the anchor, this story is adrift. Dialog is like flatulence.

About the only thing I can see wrong is that the author needs to delineate the different conversations better. But them I am and old person and not a young punk just looking for some pecker fun and unable to find a woman.

..... however, am getting a bit weary of Michelle and her silly reticence toward Ken. Waiting for it to end. Hopefully soon.

But the fact that Michelle is so reluctant with Ken has pissed me off to the point where I really don't care for her anymore. She kisses ken then tells him it's a mistake but then runs off and hooks up with that asshole all because she was lonely. Really? She doesn't do casual sex and doesn't want to screw up anything with Ken but she has no problem spreading her legs for the asshole. Really? Ken risks his life drops every thing at a moment's notice after her being gone a year to save her life and she still is trying to all proper and reluctant but the asshole can feed her bullshit lines that she knows are complete bullshit but still lets him fuck her. Really? Sorry but fuck her and if Ken was truly smart he would tell her to fuck off the second they get home and tell her why.

Good story, but switching 1st/3rd blindly is confusing. Then each "scene change" needs a divider, either a line of asterisks, a heading, or extra spacing.

I'm sorry I only gave your 4 stars for this one, In my opinion and my tastes in stories, there is just to much dialogue and side stories that don't add anything to the story. I mean what's the plot line, action, adventure or is romance and hooking up? A little adventure with a little humor is good and maybe one hookup turning into a serious commitment later on. Just a suggestion.

Ok... The cat and mouse game between these two has graduated into full blown irritating.... They need to shit or get off the pot... You're dragging this out far far too much... But then... That's pretty much your thing...

-jaye-

AuroraIncident - I think that 'Addison's' language 'problems' must be modelled on you!

You certainly seem to have a habit of writing garbled versions of words - for instance, 'wreaked' instead of 'wrecked'!

The story so far was proceeding nicely. But there's no progress, no movement in this chapter, just a lot of bullshitting and some sex by Alex-Addison. Sorry, can't give you more than 4 stars for this chapter. Also I totally agree with Anonymous about Michelle's fuddled brain. After all her time with Ken, after knowing him so well, after he almost died trying to save her, she still has doubts about making love to him, but she's so ready to spread her legs to an asshole she hardly knows and doesn't have feelings for. She really doesn't need a good guy, she needs a shrink.