The Residency Issue Ch. 05

She sighed heavily.

I kept on: "How long before you turn 40?"

"Six years."

"You know what that means, don't you?" I said. "You'll turn 40, and he'll turn 26, and you'll be the envy of every woman, married, single, or otherwise, in your congregation."

"Well," she said, "that's just it, isn't it? What will they all think?"

"I want you to tell me," I said, "each and every way that matters. You'll still be you, the ladies won't give up on you for being happily married, and if they do, they weren't worth it in the first place. No one...darling Miranda...no one is going to look out for your happiness if you don't. This is the one life you have on this Earth, sweetie, and someone may have come into it with a set of keys, the keys to your happiness...Let me ask you something personal. Have you slept with him yet?"

It flustered her a little. "Uh...no," she said. "We...skirted close a couple of times, but when I got uncomfortable with it, he backed right off. Although one time, I was halfway wishing he hadn't, to be honest."

"Now, you see," I said, "that's the struggle with Paul. He will abide by your boundaries without fail, but sometimes you're going to wish for him to maybe breach one once in a while."

"You seem to know him pretty well."

I took a deep breath. "Oh, Miranda," I was almost wailing, "I just didn't know if or how to tell you. I'm as expert in Paul as it is possible to be. You can't blame a lonely ol' gal when so much eye candy is living under the same roof with her. I pushed myself on him, if I'm honest. He resisted slightly just at the outset, but as the weeks went on, he just proved...well, I think I can leave it at that. The point is, he was low-hanging fruit, and after he first got used to my age and weight, we made a lot of beautiful music together. God, I feel just awful about it, now that's it's possible you have feelings for him. He's been just a perfect gentleman, offered himself to me, never reluctant, never mean about anything, never complaining, always helpful, always quick with a smile." I breathed. "I did. I fell in love with him, and it's over now. It's been over since he went off to school."

She was quiet, thinking I don't know what. I said, "You do see what a big upgrade you would be, now, right?" I don't know if I'd been helpful, or if she just wanted to drive up here and shoot me.

Finally she laughed. "Don't put yourself down like that, Vera."

I scoffed. "Okay, now that you've said the polite thing, which I thank you for, I want to make my point again. Paul was always the perfect gentleman, particularly in bed. And so damn easy on the eyes! Don't hold what he and I did against him, Miranda. It was my doing, obviously, and now it's over. Recognize it for what it was, a sweet episode that shows he's a faithful, honorable young guy. If you like him, find out everything you can about him. I've just given you a leg up on that."

I found out in a few weeks how Paul and Miranda were progressing. She called early one morning just before the Christmas holiday.

"Oh my God, oh my GOD!" was the first thing Miranda said. She also added a little squeal. "I have to thank you, Vera, from the bottom of my heart, for putting me at ease with Paul." She muffled her voice a little. "I'm calling from the office here. Everybody else is asleep still."

"Everybody else?"

"Mmm yes," she said, "that includes Taylor...and Paul!"

"Aahhh," I did a little singsong. "And you apparently enjoyed yourselves?"

"Oh, my God," she said, and I could here the excitement in her voice. "I mean, I would say, You have no idea, but I think maybe you do!"

I laughed. "Well, if you feel like telling me anything about it, I'm all ears. Otherwise, I can just use my imagination and memory."

"Well," she said, forging ahead, "he's every bit the gentleman you said he was. And oh my God, I've never had anyone with such staying power. Oh, Lord, and his mouth!"

I laughed again. "I'm glad you guys had fun. You're going to make a great couple. And honey," I said, "if you're comfortable with it, try playing a little with his behind, you know, a little penetration? It'll drive him wild. You guys will never get enough of each other."

To my surprise, Miranda gave out a lascivious little purr and said, "Really?! Oh my God, I have to get back to bed. Maybe I need to wake him up."