The Restoration Ch. 02

I lost control at that moment, erupting semen onto my chest in one of the hardest orgasms I could remember having. The force of my explosion coated my stomach all the way up to my nipples, and I moaned, involuntarily, spreading my legs wide. Ana's face was a portrait of lust, and she came shortly after me. I couldn't hear her across the way in another house, but I saw her throw her head back and then convulse, her shoulders quaking back and forth. She seemed to almost collapse in the shower from the force of it, holding on to her soap dish to keep herself upright, before finally directing the spray away from her sensitive clit. She stood for a moment, breathing hard, leaned over, before she finally hung the showerhead back up and looked back at me, blowing me a kiss.

I blew her one back, then I started cleaning myself up as I watched Ana towel off and put the sash back in the window. Momentarily, I got a text from her -- Thanks! -- and a little pink heart. I texted back a thank you.

All I did was jerk off, I started justifying to myself. I don't think I did anything wrong. I hope I didn't.

I was now in a serious state of turmoil. We seemed to be on the edge of completely losing control. I was terrified that one or both of us would do something to cause me to potentially lose my marriage, my home, and everything that mattered to me.

With Victoria still away, and with no other real ideas, I called my friend Dave the next day, and we went down to the pub together for a pint. Men mostly don't talk to each other about their innermost thoughts, desires, and problems, but Dave and I had always had a different kind of male friendship. I'd known him since high school, and he was the only man I knew with whom I could talk openly.

As usual, it took at least one beer apiece before we got into the heavy stuff, but eventually, I told him nearly everything, about meeting Ana, growing closer as we worked together, and then the debauched weekend and its aftermath, where for the first time I felt like I was in a mindset where cheating was a possibility, and worse, that I felt like Victoria was pushing me in that direction. I didn't quite let on all the X-rated details from the hot tub, nor how far Ana and I had gone since, but otherwise I told him everything.

When I finally finished, Dave looked at me with a look of respect and pity on his face.

"How the hell did you get yourself into a situation like this?" he finally asked. "You were never man enough to have even one woman having the hots for you, let alone two."

"I don't even know, man." I ignored the jab and took a big drink of my beer. "It's so messed up."

"I'll say." He shook his head. "I'll never understand women as long as I live."

"Every time I think I've got women all figured out, someone throws me another curveball. I did not see this coming after fifteen years with Victoria."

"I know what you mean. Let me tell you something that's going on with us right now, and I promise this is related," Dave shot back. "Years ago, before we were married, Natalie and I were telling each other our sexual fantasies. It was her idea. I told her that someday I'd love to have a threesome. She got upset, like I was telling her that she wasn't enough for me. Which is total bullshit."

"Absolutely," I agreed. "I never wanted anyone other than Victoria, and I'm happy and satisfied with her, regardless of any outside temptation. But no man's going to turn a threesome down if one falls into his lap."

"You get it, you know," Dave continued. "She wanted to hear my fantasies, I told her, and I got in trouble for it. So, I never brought it up again. About six months ago, out of nowhere, suddenly she suggested that we should try to have a threesome someday. Like it was her idea! I mean, I'm not going to say no when my woman says that, but I still have no idea what changed in her head, and I'm not going to ask in case it ruins it or changes her mind. So then, we started looking, trying to figure out how to make this happen, and I discovered the real tragedy in all of this."

I raised my eyebrow. "What's that?"

"The hard part isn't convincing your wife to have a threesome, Patrick. The hard part is finding the third woman. Apparently, in the poly community, single women who are looking for unattached hookups with a couple are referred to as 'unicorns', because they're beautiful, mythical creatures that don't exist in the real world."

I laughed. "Sucks to suck, buddy."

He shook his head. "If I know one thing about women..."

"You don't," I interrupted.

"Agreed. But if I know only one thing about women, it's that you can't get in too much trouble taking them at face value. Sometimes they're only speaking in metaphor or subtext that I miss out on, but if Natalie says, 'you can go play golf with your buddies this weekend', I'm going to. If she meant 'let's spend the weekend together' but didn't say so? It's not on me. I don't play games with her, and as she's figured out that I don't, she's stopped trying to play them with me. Mostly."

"I'm lucky that Victoria just says what's on her mind, most of the time," I countered. "This has thrown me because it isn't like her. I've never seen the wall come down quite like this, where she knows something is up but refuses to think or talk about it."

Dave regarded me. "I mean, do you honestly think there's even a remote chance that she actually wants you to fuck this girl?"

"A remote chance? It's possible. But realistically, my guess is no."

"But you think she's somehow getting off on the thought of you two together?"

"I think so."

"Is there a possibility that she's trying to push you to cheat because she's already had her own affair?" Dave asked.

"You mean, if she cheated on me already, and then I cheat on her, we're even?"

"Yeah. That way you can't be mad at her about it."

I thought about it. When I looked back on the past several years, I couldn't think of any time that I'd even remotely had the suspicion that she was cheating on me. She had no mysterious nights out, no secretive phone calls or texts, nothing. I knew her phone's password, and although I'd never snooped, I'd always believed that if she was hiding something, she'd make sure I couldn't see her texts.

"I don't think so," I finally said. "If someone was cheating, they'd have a little more to cover up than she does. She'd at least try to keep me away from her phone."

"You'd know," Dave said. "She's never seemed like the type to me, but it's worth thinking about."

"For sure."

"If you want my advice," Dave continued, "stay away from that other girl for the time being, show Victoria you're not just going to go rolling over there and sleep with her. Make her feel safe, show her that you're not going to do anything stupid. You can indulge the fantasy if she wants you to, roleplay, whatever, but don't do it for real.

You've still got to pay attention to your wife, show her how much you love her and how much she satisfies you. Buy her flowers and shit. Maybe it was just a one-time thing on a crazy weekend. But if she really is a cuckquean, then maybe you'll get to bury your rod in that widow after all."

"Thanks, I think." I rolled my eyes. "I don't think she's a cuckquean."

"And I didn't think Natalie was into girls," Dave responded. "Turns out she's maybe got a little bi in her. I ain't complaining."

"I wouldn't either."

Dave nodded. "I'm a little jealous that you've found a unicorn, if I'm being honest. Ana sounds like exactly what Natalie and I have been looking for."

"I'm not giving you her number," I laughed. "She's still a little fragile, and while I don't know if she's into girls, I've never gotten that impression from her. I think I can handle her, and I think I can handle my own temptation. It's my wife encouraging us that feels weird. If something does happen between Ana and I, it's going to be Victoria pushing us that does it."

"Yeah, I believe you." Dave finished his second beer. "I don't need your unicorn anyway. If a threesome happens with Natalie, it's going to be with someone that we can have a one-night stand with. I don't want to do it with someone that I'll ever have to see again, in case it gets weird."

"That makes sense. Good luck finding someone."

"Thanks. If it happens, it happens, but I'm a 35-year-old man with two kids and a cat. I have the same unadventurous sex with my wife twice a week. I don't have any expectations. If I don't get my hopes up, I can't be disappointed."

The rest of Victoria's week away went by with no incidents. Ana and I kept working on the house, though the flirting and innuendo was a noticeable notch less, and neither of us even remotely hinted at the mutual attraction bubbling beneath the surface or mentioned what had happened earlier that week. I sexted with Victoria a couple of times -- her libido hadn't cooled from being away -- but otherwise, things still seemed relatively normal.

Victoria got home the following Friday night, and I'd taken Dave's advice and had flowers waiting for her. She was touched, and after 'welcome back' sex, she announced she was exhausted from travelling and was going to bed early. I'd never snooped on her before, but Dave's comment about her potentially pushing Ana and I together to cover for her own infidelities wouldn't leave my mind, so, feeling guilty, I grabbed her phone and unlocked it. Sure enough, the password was the same as it always had been -- our wedding anniversary.

I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I started by scrolling through her photos, seeing nothing unusual. She had a couple of nudes in her hidden pictures, but they were all either pictures she'd sent me while we were sexting, or selfies in front of the mirror where she was clearly inspecting her body for cellulite or weight gain. I checked her message history, and I saw no unfamiliar names or numbers or anything else suspicious. I felt relieved. Of course she wasn't cheating on me.

I probably should have stopped there, but, seeing her best friend Katherine's name in her texting history, I decided to snoop further. If Victoria was going to talk about what was going on with anyone that wasn't me, it would be her, and I was desperate for answers.

I started scrolling through the message history, page after page of girl talk, before I found it. The date was shortly after Victoria's libido had exploded.

I could see how much they were into each other, Victoria had written. If I hadn't been there, God knows what would have happened. I'm sure they would have fucked. I could see it in his eyes. I could see it in hers.

But you were there, and you were participating, Katherine responded. It doesn't sound like they did anything you weren't okay with. And it sounds like you had fun.

It was the best sex we've had in years, Victoria wrote. It's not like sex has ever been bad between us. But this wasn't like you and I having a moan-off for our husbands like most years. It wasn't a performance. This was primal, animal. I've never felt more out of control. I wanted that girl to hear me. I wanted her to see me. Hell, I wanted her in the room with us. I wanted to ask her to watch Patrick and me. If I hadn't thought it might be weird, I would have.

It was so hot seeing Patrick that out of control, too. I always feel like he's just slightly holding back when we have sex. I've never quite been able to push him completely over the edge. He's scared to lose control. But not this time. I've never heard him make noise like that, before or since. It turned me on so much, even knowing it was Ana who made him feel like that. I wish he'd moan more.

I bristled a little at seeing mild criticism from my wife, but she had a point. I resolved to try to fix it, and I continued reading.

So, it was a one-time thing, Katherine reassured. Stuff happens. Don't worry about it.

I wish it was. I could live with it if it was. But I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop picturing Patrick on top of Ana, with that look in his eye that he gets when he's about to cum, except he's ready to unload into her. That poor woman needs fucking so badly, and she wants him, and he wants her. Thinking about them together makes me so jealous, and so angry. And so horny. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Nothing is wrong with you, Katherine reassured. It's just a fantasy. There's nothing wrong with fantasizing. Sometimes I think about Steve's brother when I'm fucking him. I wouldn't do it for real, but it's hot thinking about it because it's so wrong.

Maybe, Victoria wrote.

Do you think Patrick would cheat on you?

No. He's too sweet, too devoted, too innocent. He loves me so much. I think he's just enjoying feeling like another woman is into him. There have been others who've had crushes on him over the years, but he's always been too oblivious to see it. This one he's noticed, and him being desired by someone who isn't me is a new experience for him.

I stopped reading for a moment. What other women's crushes had I missed over the years? I made a mental note to think about it. But Victoria was right, too -- I really was enjoying Ana being so attracted to me. Having a pretty young woman lusting after me was doing wonders for my self-confidence.

And do you trust the other woman? Katherine continued.

Mostly, Victoria responded. I've gotten to know her, and she's truly wonderful. I know they spend all that time alone together, and maybe I'm naïve, but I don't think they've ever hooked up. I'd have seen some evidence. Patrick doesn't keep things from me. I don't think he knows how to.

I hope you're right, Katherine wrote. What would you do if you found out they'd hooked up behind your back?

The rational side of me says start calling divorce attorneys, Victoria said. But you saying it just now, and making me think about it? It made me wet. This is so fucked up.

It's nice to know I've still got it! Katherine wrote.

It's not you, you self-obsessed bitch. Victoria added a smiley face to show she wasn't serious.

Go rub one out, you slut.

Nah. I'm going to go find Patrick and get laid.

I put the phone down and locked it. Victoria wasn't cheating on me, and her thinking about Ana and I together was causing her libido spike. I felt a little guilty for snooping, but mostly I felt relieved to have something of an answer. But how was I supposed to deal with this?

Sunday morning, I made breakfast before Victoria got up, then I decided to try to talk again. I wasn't going to reveal that I'd snooped, but I thought I'd try again to have a conversation about it.

"Have you ever thought about trying to have another Tremblant night?" I asked, trying to lead with a happy thought as Victoria settled in with her coffee.

"You mean with Ana? Sure, if she comes with us again next year." Victoria turned to face me. "I don't want to have her over to the house for debauchery, but when you're on vacation, sometimes things happen. It could be fun. Maybe we could incorporate her into our usual thing with Steve and Katherine."

"Would that turn you on?"

"Everything's turning me on lately," she deflected. "You must have noticed."

I nodded. "Do you know why that is?"

"No." Her demeanour suddenly turned colder. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm not complaining, trust me," I said carefully, "but it's not common for one partner's libido to go through the roof this far into a relationship. I just wondered if you'd had any ideas as to what caused it."

"Well..." Victoria paused, thinking. "I guess the spike started at Tremblant. It was really hot playing around with Ana."

"But just to be clear, you don't want to do it again, unless we're out of town."

"Why?" She turned to face me again. "Are you asking?"

"I'm just confused, Vicky." I never called her Vicky except when it was serious, and she turned, suddenly concerned. "We went really far in that hot tub, and we broadcasted sex after for Ana's benefit. You encouraged me to pretend I was fucking her, even. Ever since, you've been hornier than I've ever seen you, and you're refusing to talk about it. Trust me, I'm not complaining. I just want to know what's going on, and I need to understand what the rules are."

Victoria stopped for a long time, thinking. "Patrick, tell me the truth on this."

"Always."

"Do you want to fuck her?"

"With the circumstances in our life being what they are? No," I said definitively.

"What about if the circumstances were different? What if we weren't married?"

I took a deep breath. "You asked for the truth."

She nodded. "I did."

"If I was single, yes, I probably would hook up with her. But I'm not single. I'm married to you, and I swore an oath in front of our friends and family that I would love, honour and obey you, and be faithful, and I'm not going to break that."

Victoria nodded. "Thank you for admitting that. You were so definitive saying 'no's' when I asked you that I felt like I was going crazy, because I have eyes. I can see the way you look at each other."

"I'm attracted to her, but I'm not going to cheat on you. As far as we went in the hot tub is as far as it's ever going to go." It wasn't technically a lie. "I get why you might feel threatened by her. But you were totally in charge in the hot tub. Ana and I were only responding to your lead. And I really felt like you were pushing me to sleep with her in Quebec, and a couple times since then, if I'm being honest."

"I don't know why I've been doing it."

"Am I going crazy?" I asked.

"No, you're not," she admitted. "I can't explain why, but I've been pushing. Did it work?"

"You know it hasn't."

Victoria nodded. "I'm glad to hear that, even though I know that doesn't make any sense. Have you been tempted?"

I paused, suddenly anxious. "Yes, we have."

"Have you done anything I wouldn't approve of?"

"We haven't gone farther than we did in the hot tub," I said carefully.

"But you've done hot tub stuff again? Without me?"

"We never got naked together."

"Now you're being evasive, Cullen," she said sharply. "How far did you go with her?"

"...Second base. For like two seconds before we stopped," I admitted guiltily.

"You touched her tits?" Victoria asked incredulously. "You naughty, naughty boy."

I looked at the floor, feeling shameful. I couldn't meet her gaze. Why did I ever think I could keep this secret from her?

"How did her tits feel?"

"What?!"

"Were they firm?"

I nodded, confused.

"Were they perky?"

"They were so perky," I said quietly.

"Did it make that poor deprived girl horny to have your skilled hands on her breasts?" Victoria slid her hand into her bathrobe.

"I didn't check, but I assume so."

"I bet her pussy was so wet from your touch."

I stared at her, completely at a loss for words, as she started rubbing circles between her legs.

"You need to be punished for misbehaving, Patrick. You need to make me cum." She opened her robe, revealing her nude body, and spreading her legs. Her pussy was on display, pink and visibly glistening with moisture.

I was so confused, feeling intense guilt, and so turned on. I moved over to where Victoria was sitting and knelt down on the floor. She aggressively forced my head between her legs, enveloping my senses in her wetness and her scent. I slid two fingers inside her easily, then started licking her clit the way she'd taught me years ago, firm licks on the hood. Within five minutes, I had her right on the edge, and I edged her there for a few moments before finally sending her over.

I looked up at her as her orgasm finished. Her face was flushed with exertion, but she looked miserable. "You're an asshole," she whispered. "You're not allowed to cum."