The Role Players Pt. 04

"I think she firmly believes that one day Eric will finally grow weary of the pain, and in doing so it will not really matter anymore. In the end, there will be no more Eric and without him, Holly will be gone as well."

I had always thought if I could say it all out loud that it would somehow make it all better. By speaking the words that constantly filled my head, that it would give me the release that would lead toward a type of healing. Instead, I only felt two things. One was a deep sadness and the other was how weary I was. I sat there in the dark, a strange woman holding my hand, as the tears silently ran down my cheeks.

Her voice was as always kind, her touch the same, a gentle squeeze of my hand. "Thank you Eric for trusting me a second time. For you to find the courage to say what you did could have not easy. I want you to know that the words you have spoken to me, even though you are not my patient, are still covered by the oath I took and I will not share them without your consent."

I didn't say anything because I had no more to add so I could only listen. "As I said earlier Eric, I believe I can help you but I need to think about what you said. I have an idea how to assist you. However, I need to make sure I am correct before I put you on a path which will guide you to a decision that will change your life. I do need to speak to Abby and Andrea about this. How much do you wish for me to share?"

Shrugging my shoulders, "Tell them everything if you want. Tell them I know they only wanted the best for me. Tell them I'm sorry, I didn't mean to drag them into...this mess. Just, don't ask me to say this all over again because I can't, I won't."

"I'll be back shortly Eric, okay?" I managed a nod but within seconds of her departure I picked myself up, laid down on my bed and simply let go. My anguish consuming me and by the time I had finished, I had literally cried myself to sleep.

I'm not sure how long they talked or what was said. I didn't even notice when Andrea and the woman known as Renee returned to my room to find me laying there. A blanket was pulled over my still figure while I slumbered. It wasn't until I heard the sound of my cell phone going off the next morning that I struggled out of my dreams to once again face reality.

My voice was still filled with sleep as I tentatively answered, "Hello?"

A familiar sound, the reply of "I'm sorry to awaken you so early Eric but after speaking with Andrea and Abby last night they've agreed that you need a little space for a few days. Please come downstairs by eight, I'll have a car waiting for you. I will see you then."

The line disconnected as I moved slowly into the bathroom, turned on the shower and began to get ready. I wondered where I was going but right now it was all I could do to simply manage the simple things of getting ready. Roughly thirty minutes later I exited out onto the street, the huge warehouse seemingly empty with no sound of life.

A car was indeed waiting, an older gentleman tipping his cap to me as he opened the back door and I got inside. The therapist from the night before was already seated, her smile as always a beautiful one. I sat there, my hands on my life, my eyes struggling to maintain hers.

"Good morning young man. I've asked your two friends if you could possibly spend a little time with me and they have kindly agreed. My husband is away on business until the end of the week and I could use the company. I hope you don't mind?"

I managed to shake my head no as the drive began and it was almost a half hour later that we pulled up to what could only be described as a palatial estate. The grounds were immaculate and as I followed behind her when we stepped into the home, it was the same. Entering the kitchen, she poured herself a cup of coffee before motioning for me to sit down.

"Eric, I've asked you here for a two-fold reason. Yes, my husband is away and I very much will enjoy having you here. But more importantly, I have something in mind which will tell me if I'm right and that I can recommend what I'm thinking in order to help you with your current situation. I know that all sounds very cryptic but you have trusted my judgement up till now and I fear I'm going to ask you to continue to do so for the next few days."

I just sat there, no question having been asked so no reply seemingly being requested. "At this moment though I fear I have patients coming in about an hour. My schedule has been very demanding lately and my home has paid the cost. If I could impose on you, would Holly mind working a little of her maid magic for me, please?"

The sound of that name, the opportunity arising during the first part of the week, was like offering a drink of the coolest water to a parched man and I eagerly gave her a nod. She smiled, motioning for me to join her as we walked down a hallway until she stopped in front of a door. Opening it, a guest bedroom beckoned and laying on the bed were all the items that I had worn on my first night of role playing with Andrea and her daughter. Nothing fancy, just a simple maid's outfit yet to me it looked like the most beautiful clothes ever.

"If you'll change Holly, I'm at the end of the hallway and I will do your hair and makeup and tell you what I need for you to do before my first patient arrives."

It didn't take long until I was seated in the huge master bedroom, the vanity almost as big as the one back at the warehouse as she went about bringing Holly back to life. With every brush stroke, then each step of the makeup process I felt the pain recede and a sense of calm return. When she had finished, she took my hand and brought me back into the kitchen.

"The only room that is off limits Holly is the one at the very back of the estate. That is my office and my patients come through their own entrance there. They deserve their privacy and I know if anyone will respect that, it will be you. All the cleaning supplies you will require are found here in the pantry and maybe around one you could fix us both a light lunch and I will rejoin you here, okay?"

"Yes Mistress Renee."

She smiled but shook her head no before replying. "This is no scene Holly. I needed your help and you are being kind enough to do so. If you want to look at this as being a role you are playing that is fine but to me you are simply a friend who is assisting me. If you wish to call me Miss Renee that would be nice but I'm not your Mistress. I do not require you to do anything sexual while you are here and all I truly want is for you is be yourself. I'll see you in a bit Holly, okay?"

"Yes Miss Renee."

I got another smile as I looked around the kitchen, a few dishes, not really anything much but it was a place to begin and as I did so I couldn't help but smile. When I finished I pulled out the vacuum cleaner and along with a carrier of cleaning supplies and went to explore the house and to see where my attention was needed. There was nothing major, simply the day to day touches that a residence required and I was more than happy to give it the attention it deserved.

By the time early afternoon had rolled around, I had a lunch of a tuna salad on a bed of fresh greens along with a tea awaiting and when the therapist entered the room she gave me the brightest of smiles. "How wonderful Holly, thank you so much young lady. You take wonderful care of me, do you know that?" I must have beamed as she sat down and motioned for me to join her as we simply chatted for a while until it was time for her next appointment. "When I finished around five Holly we'll fix something together for dinner. See you then."

The afternoon passed quickly, the house so large I could never get all of it done in a single day so I smiled knowing Holly would be needed tomorrow as well. By the time Renee returned I had put everything back in its place, telling her what I had accomplished and we got down to the business at hand.

It ended up being a wonderful meal which I enjoyed alongside her, a stark contrast between her business attire and my uniform but it didn't really seem to matter. Afterwards, we tidied up the kitchen before she said perhaps we could watch a movie together? She told me that she was going to shower and to get into something comfortable and then we would meet back in the media room. I went to my own room a bit unsure but laying on the bed was a set of silk pajamas and a matching robe so I cleaned up, donned the beautiful garments and was happily surprised when she walked in wearing the same.

I don't really remember the name of the video or what it was all about as we shared a bottle of wine and by the time we finished it, I was so relaxed and my rest called to me. She gave me a rather chaste kiss on the cheek and after I turned in, I know when I fell asleep I did so with a smile on my face.

The next day was a replay of the previous one. A fresh uniform, a clean house, shared meals and smiles seeming to be the order of the day. It was only on Wednesday morning that when I awoke that the pattern seemed to be changing. Laid out were a set of feminine clothes and when I donned the robe to go into the kitchen, she was already waiting with an explanation why.

"I thought the two of us might go out into the city today Holly for lunch and shopping my dear."

Yes, my confidence had grown from the first day Holly had come along but going out in public, away from the safe confines of the warehouse was something I had not counted on. I think the doctor sensed my unease as she gave me a small smile. "Holly, by now you should know you can pass easily in any setting. Maybe if you were to think of this as just another role playing exercise it might make it both easier and more enjoyable for you. Say perhaps, an owner taking her favorite submissive out for the day perhaps?"

I managed a smile, nodding and it was only an hour later that we were back in the car again, this time being driven to one of the nicer restaurants in the city where Renee took my hand and we walked together inside. She was dressed in one of her beautiful grey silk blouses along with a black pencil skirt, the picture of confidence, as she gave me a smile before saying, "Holly, you look absolutely delightful my dear."

It was a shy smile that accompanied the black lace peasant top I wore along with the same color skater skirt which was cut quite short, allowing my legs to be featured along with the three inch heels which adorned my feet. I wore a simple black lace ribbon around my neck in a choker style though to me it felt like a bit of a security blanket. Perhaps a collar to show others I belonged to the stunning woman who sat across from me.

I did very little talking, enjoying my role as the quiet submissive, content to simply be out in public for the first time. My heart at the beginning had pounded like a drum but with every passing second, I grew calmer. I didn't see anyone with a look of disdain or disgust, a few people casting furtive glances our way but most caught up in their own world.

"Don't look now Holly, but I think you may have a secret admirer."

I couldn't help myself, my eyes moving to see a young gentleman who seemed to be staring my way before suddenly shifting his focus elsewhere. His face turning a shade of crimson, a look I was more than familiar with. Renee laughed softly, her voice musical in tone saying, "Somehow I do not believe he was looking at you and seeing a shy, quiet submissive maid my dear. I think his thoughts were a bit more, shall we say, filled with desire?"

Now, two of us blushed as Renee stood up and to my dismay walked over to lean down and whisper something into the stranger's ear. When she returned, his posture seemed a bit dejected, the look he gave me a bit wistful as I looked at the doctor with a questioning expression. "I told him Holly that you belonged to me and that while it was alright to look, only I could touch."

I saw the playful look on her face and I couldn't help but smile knowing she had done this to make me feel more comfortable in our current surroundings. Lunch was delicious, the company making it even more so and when we stepped forth to the open air mall next door I felt a bit of a spring in my step. Instead of feeling out of place, I felt like this was where I belonged and I even surprised myself when I asked Renee if I might have a bit of privacy?

She gave me a quick look of wonder but then simply nodded, agreeing to meet back up in an hours' time at an agreed upon location. I quickly retraced my steps to one of the small shops we had passed, going inside to make a purchase. Four to be precise. By time the items were finished I had only a few minutes remaining and I hurried along, only to find the doctor waiting as I gave her a bright smile and we continued our day.

It was evening when we found ourselves back in her living room, heels discarded, my feet tucked under me on the couch as I sipped at my glass of wine. I had a feeling that Renee had something on her mind and in the end, the words she had to say would prove to be the impetus to yet another step along my way.

"Holly, I've had a chance now to enjoy your company for the past few days and I have a few questions to ask of you before I tell you my thoughts. All I ask is that you answer them honestly, from your heart and then I'll share my feelings with you. May I ask, how many times have you thought about Eric since you've been here?"

The question was a simple one but not something I had even considered as I bit my bottom lip before saying, "I haven't, why?"

She smiled, taking a sip from her own wineglass. "It's not important. If you had to describe how you feel right now, what words would you use?"

That one was easy. I gave her my own smile before saying, "Happy, at peace, comfortable, I fear the list could go on and on."

A nod as she took a deep breath and I waited. "Holly, I have counseled quite a few people in your position. Most of them sharing similar feelings as you, though make no mistake, every one of them and you are unique. In the end though, I always have to ask them the same question I am going to ask of you. Most of them worried constantly about what others would think of them, how they would be judged and what would happen if society shunned them?"

"The problem arises in the fact that they asked those questions with a concern toward what others would think while not asking the one, or in some cases, two individuals what their opinions were. While you have support within your current home from both Andrea and Abby, something many don't, you really need to ask the people inside of you what they truly want."

I had not thought of it that way. It had never dawned on me that was the case and I think it showed on my face as she gave me a reassuring smile.

"I think if you asked Holly what she wants she would answer that she wants to be able to truly live. If you might have asked her that same question only a month ago she would have said she only wanted to be a submissive French maid. Time has the ability though to allow us to do precisely what Holly is doing at this moment. She is growing, evolving into the individual who is seated across from me. She doesn't want to be one thing or another, she wants a chance to be a woman with limitless boundaries, embracing the good and bad if there ever were to be such a thing."

I fought back a tear, the words spoken aloud a powerful message but she wasn't finished yet.

"As for Eric, I think if you were to truly look in your heart and ask him how he feels he would answer you with a single word. Weary. He is tired of fighting the good fight only to find that for him it only brings the pain and mental anguish you spoke of so eloquently just a few short nights ago. I do not wish to put words in your mouth Holly but he told me he would have been content to live out his days. The meaning of that word is in a state of peaceful happiness and I don't believe that is truly how Eric feels, is it?"

Now, the tears slowly began to run down my cheeks as she got up and pulled me into her arms.

"I think what Eric meant was that he would have settled for living out his life in the bookstore but now Holly does not wish to simply exist. She has embraced her new life and as I've watched her find joy in the most menial of tasks such as washing dishes or vacuuming, she doesn't need a scenario to know this is the role she has searched for all her life."

"You said Eric hates Holly but I think it's the exact opposite of that. Eric kept Holly alive for so many years. He wouldn't allow the spark of her that existed in him to simply die out. He treasured that flame and secretly hoped she would find that which she was searching for and now that she has then Eric simply wants to feel just as Holly said she feels now. He wants to be at peace."

"Perhaps now it is time to allow Holly to come forward, to allow her to keep Eric alive inside of her and perhaps if the day would come that she needs him again, he will be there for her. For me, it is a very simple decision. One brings happiness, the other sorrow. The choice is yours and yours alone as it very well should be. The question is if you would rather dwell in darkness or dance into the light?"

I sighed, wiping my tears as she gave me a hug. "Of course it is not a decision to be made in haste. You need to give it careful consideration, weighing all the options and then in the end, make the decision that is best for both of you." I felt a soft kiss on my cheek, her voice softly speaking in my ear in saying, "No matter what you chose, whether it be Holly or Eric, please know your friends and I will support you in each and every step you take."

She allowed me to slip free from her arms as she took the wineglass from my hand. "It's been a long day Holly and tomorrow you'll return home to get your next assignment. Sweet dreams my dear and I'll see you in the morning."

The next morning I got up and found a similar outfit as I had worn the day before waiting for me. The drive back to Role Players was made mostly in silence. I had a lot to think about and as I tentatively reached over and took Renee's hand she gave me her full on smile. "Thank you for being so good to me Dr. Craig. I'm not sure why but I hope you know what your words meant to me."

"I promise you Holly, it was my pleasure. I enjoyed your company and if you ever need a sympathetic ear to talk to or just a friend, I'm only a telephone call away."

I gave her a big hug as we said goodbye before opening the door to the warehouse. It was quiet on the first floor but I knew with the monitors in her office that Andrea would know I was back. Sure enough when I returned to the tenth floor she walked past me.

Her smile seemed a bit forced but as always her words were warm. "Welcome back Holly, I love that outfit on you."

I tried to say thank you but she quickly moved past, catching the elevator, probably heading back to her office. I had a feeling what was going on but it was confirmed when I saw Abby. I gave her a wave only for her to quickly do the same and then head in a different direction. I went back to my room, seeing all the items that I had utilized during my stay at the doctor's home had been delivered. I sat down on my bed for a moment, thinking about what I should do next. Finally, I decided to meet the problem head on.

Looking into her office, I saw both mother and daughter inside and as I opened the door under other circumstances it might have almost seemed comical. Both had a look like they were trapped with me standing in front of the door and there was no way out. For a brief moment it hurt me to see the pain on their faces but then I remembered what I wanted to say.

"I have three favors to ask of both of you." I let the silence hang in the air for a moment before continuing. "First, please quit looking at me like I'm a Raggedy Anne doll who has lost one of her button eyes. Yes, I'm a bit broken but I think with Dr. Renee's help and I hope with your support I can be fixed and in the end, be even better than ever."