The Rubdown Ep. 02

This isn't meant to be a direct continuation from Episode 1, so you shouldn't be too lost if you haven't read that first.

Elizabeth sat in her robe, drumming her fingers on the arm of the chair. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling of the Shining Venus Spa and Boutique's finest repair bay. Her bi-monthly dermal refresh was done, but the data expert was running late. She closed her eyes and made the visual interface to her onboard computer appear. She knew that the room was shielded for multiple reasons, and no phone or wifi signals would be available, but she checked again anyway.

There were some locally-stored draft briefs she could be punching up, but she really didn't feel like it. Her body felt great after being rubbed and coated with a fresh layer of synthetic skin, too good to waste the feeling by doing a lot of thinking. She opened up a little retro arcade game on the screen in her mind's eye and started blowing up some alien invaders.

She traced a finger around the panel beneath her neck that the technician hadn't resealed. She pulled at the robe a little so she could reach in and touch her right breast. "Yup, still there," she muttered to herself. Elizabeth had chosen a relatively modest breast size to better match her much thinner body, but sometimes she missed her misshapen but big old pair. She thought about her first boyfriend rubbing his face in them during college.

The memory meant Elizabeth was smiling when Karen burst through the door. The tiny, very young-looking blonde in the baggy lab coat was a flurry of apologies. "I am so sorry, Lizzy. A new set of legal parameters for my security protocols took effect on the 1st of the month. It took twice as long to download and incorporate this morning than it did last year and I have been behind schedule all day." Karen dropped herself into the chair beside Elizabeth and crossed her legs. Elizabeth noted that whatever Karen was wearing under the coat, it didn't reach her knees while sitting, and certainly didn't reach her pink sneakers. "But how are you doing?"

Elizabeth tried not to let her smile fade any before responding,"Oh, hanging in there. The Museum wants me to start working for them as a full-time legal counsel, but they really can't afford me. My grandnephew Kyle had his 4th birthday party last week and he looks so much like his grandfather. Feel free to download some pics once we're hooked up."

"Oh, I'm always a sucker for cute grandkid photos... and I suppose grandnephew ones will do fine too." Karen and Elizabeth shared a polite chuckle while Karen pulled up the rest of Elizabeth's file, "He's your brother's fourth grandchild?"

"Third, technically. Kyle has a new baby sister. Well, I guess she's 11 months now, so maybe not quite a new baby anymore. Taylor's wife is trying to get pregnant, so fingers crossed for their first and the fifth overall at some point."

"That's wonderful. It's really important to keep your family close. And I'd love to keep chatting, but I've got one more woman after you." Karen stood up and took some cables out of her coat pocket.

"Oh of course, of course. Do you need me back on the table?" Elizabeth pointed to the shiny metal platform where her skin repair had been performed.

"Yes, please. The only data connections to the backup server are in the table." Karen walked to the far side of the table and plugged one end of the first cable into a port in the table base well protected by the lip of the table.

Elizabeth shucked her robe and carried it with her toward the table. Now that she looked like a hottie in her 20s, it was much easier to walk around nude. She folded the robe a few times and set it down as a makeshift pillow at one end of the table before lying down again on her back. Her red hair bunched up a bit beneath her head. She simulated a few deep breaths. "Alright, plug me in when you're ready."

Karen connected another cable, this one from her arm to a port in Elizabeth's chest. Karen preferred the models with the chest connection, rather than the connection in the skull beneath the hairpiece. She silently sent a request for administrative privileges, and Elizabeth accepted by calmly speaking her code phrase.

Elizabeth didn't particularly like the process, but accepted the benefits of having an expert examine her mind, such as it was now. Her blue eyes didn't close, but she felt like she was drifting asleep. It was accompanied by a sensation like her mind was a tightly rolled scroll and Karen was pulling it open, exposing more and more of it to the light. And the more it spread out, the less Elizabeth's mind was able to wander and process things on its own. Any residual anxiety in her face disappeared as it froze in place, not locked, but with no reason to move.

Karen treated the process with less poetry. She ran the script to slow Elizabeth's thought processes down and located the areas of Elizabeth's brain and chemical simulations that had been edited in the past ten weeks. Once the incremental structural changes were identified, she began the data transfer. Elizabeth saw her memories from the past ten weeks fly quickly through her perception, completely detached from them. The quantity and nature of the AAAs (Automatic Attitude Adjustments) in the file were noted for later, but could not provoke a response. Karen was also able to perceive the memories, and it took a lot of expertise to quickly analyze what was important, what was junk, and what was solely private for Elizabeth. She only made a few notes, and saved one image of the grandnephew wrist-deep in his cake with a crazed look on his face.

But that wasn't the end of it. Karen sent the command for a shutdown of Elizabeth's conscious mind, or what little of it still operated in this state. It required another wordless conversation, "Elizabeth-core, confirm shutdown?"

"Shutdown confirmed, subconscious daemons active."

"Good, your new favorite bird is the parakeet."

"Negative. Overwrite denied. My favorite bird is a penguin."

With confirmation that the daemon was working properly and she wasn't going to accidentally reprogram the client, Karen continued speaking through the connection, "So, Elizabeth, how are you really feeling?"

"The session has already improved my mental state. This morning I was nervous. Anxious."

Karen examined some of the log files inside Elizabeth's mind. "I see that you've been running antidepressant and anti-anxiety sub-routines more than last week."

"Calculating... yes."

"Is there a reason why?"

"I was spending additional time with friends and family. It was important to me that they were not concerned about my mental state."

Karen frowned, "You can be honest with them, they'll understand."

"They don't understand."

Karen chewed on her pink lip for a moment, "You said you were feeling lonely during our last session. Have you met anyone?"

"I have had 14 new sexual partners since my last session."

Karen didn't need to be a supercomputer to do the math in her head. That was exactly 2 a week. She had seen Karen's memories of going to bars and clubs, rarely the same one twice, and encouraging the men flirting with her. She had also not focused too hard on any sexual escapades. "That's not what I meant. When was the last time you were on a date?"

"Over a year ago." Elizabeth had been artificial for about 6 months. "Dating is an old-fashioned way of establishing sexual relationships." Her face didn't flinch at anything she was saying.

"Sexual... I won't start that argument, but it is not necessarily old-fashioned for emotional relationships."

"I want to be sexually attracted to women." The words hung in the air.

Karen moved her mouth as if she was about to speak aloud, then stopped. She continued by communicating through the data connection, "why?"

"I would like to pursue relationships when I have an emotional attachment, regardless of their gender."

"Is there someone specific you'd like to start a relationship with?"

"Yes, Terri Young. She runs weekend education programs at the Museum and has become a friend."

The memories Karen had sifted through were already getting fuzzy, but the name triggered a few. Terri looked like she was in her 30s. Judging by the amount of food she was eating during a half dozen lunches with Elizabeth, Terri was still biologically human. Spending all day around custom-designed women - and young biological women hired partly because they could almost match that level of beauty - had warped Karen's scale regarding what was attractive, although Terri looked curvier than Karen or Elizabeth. But Terri laughed a lot, seemed genuinely interested in others - not just Elizabeth - and had only positive things to say about mind uploading. And Elizabeth seemed happier being around her.

Karen had a lot of questions, but started with "Is she sexually attracted to women?"

"Yes. Exclusively." Elizabeth's face didn't show any excitement or embarrassment.

"And you realize this isn't just a switch I can flip?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to need to schedule a separate appointment to talk to you about this. I can also refer you to a different Psychiatric Editor if you like."

"I trust you."

Karen smiled at the compliment. "Is there anything else specific that's causing you anxiety?"

"My workload continues to be heavy. 80 hours a week on average. The other partners continue to expect more of me because of my new nature."

"Have they been explicit about this?" Karen knew that sort of discrimination was, officially, illegal. But it was also hard to prove.

"No. They have commented on my improved work since my upload."

"It sounds a little like projection, Lizzy." Karen slipped into the more familiar nickname. "Maybe you're trying to justify your transformation by working more."

"That is possible."

"Can you tell the partners you're doing only a 50 hour week, and see how they react?"

"Yes."

"Will you?"

"Yes."

Karen inhaled and exhaled deeply to punctuate the space between topics. "Is there anything else you want to discuss, but normally wouldn't discuss?"

"No."

"Alright, I'll get you booted back up."

Elizabeth felt her mind reassemble itself, the thoughts reassociating themselves in the configuration they were before. Her face twitched and she blinked a few times like she was waking up. Karen removed the cable and handed Elizabeth the panel covering for her chest. Elizabeth thanked her and put it in place, the seams quickly vanishing - at least to the human eye.

"I was going to ask you about the Sexual Orientation thing, it just came up in the review instead. I don't want you to think I was hiding it."

Karen held up her hand, "Don't worry about it. I do my office hours on Tuesdays, is that going to be good for you?"

Elizabeth stood up and picked the robe up off the table, stashing it beneath her arm. She closed her eyes and checked her calendar. "Ooh, not next Tuesday, I have a hearing in the morning and a partner meeting over dinner. How about the morning of the 19th?"

Karen walked with Elizabeth to the closet that held Elizabeth's clothes. "I'm normally booked in the mornings, but for you I can get in a little early. How about 6?"

"It's not like I need coffee anymore to get up. Six will be fine." Elizabeth smiled.

Karen was already opening the door, "I have to get to the next guest, but we'll talk more then, Lizzy. Ok?"

Elizabeth dropped the robe and shooed Karen away with one hand, reaching for her bra with the other. "Go. You're the one on the clock, not me."

====

Elizabeth hated spending money on herself, and it showed in the intermediate-sized Toyota that pulled up to the mostly-empty parking lot of the suburban office park. Her tailored work outfits were an exception, but one she justified in the image she presented to clients, coworkers, judges and juries. The day's outfit was still hanging on a peg in the backseat. Elizabeth got out of the car wearing sandals, a brown skirt, and a green button-up blouse all purchased off the bargain rack.

Nevertheless, she cut an attractive figure as she walked to the building shared by an architecture firm, a half dozen financial planners, and the synthetic psychiatry practice. Karen's office was on the second floor, and she shared it with two other psychiatrists. It made sense, since Karen only needed it one day a week. Elizabeth tested the handle, opened the door, and poked her head into the waiting room. The reception desk was empty. She was a few steps into the small waiting area - there was room for about 3 chairs - before getting a text message from Karen

{My office is at the end of the hallway on the right. My name is on the door, come on in.}

Elizabeth followed the directions without questioning any of the logic about the situation. She opened the door and saw what looked like a normal, cramped office. The far wall had big windows with the blinds closed. The left wall, from her perspective, was covered by two filing cabinets and bookshelves with a mix of books and objects d'art. There was a small desk against the right wall with Karen's degrees and awards hung in frames above it. In the center of the room were two chairs. One was empty and the other held a nude blonde psychiatrist.

Elizabeth stood in the doorway not sure what to do. Karen's bright blonde hair was draped over her shoulders, not quite long enough to cover her apple-sized breasts. She was sitting with her legs crossed, unconcerned by her own nudity. Elizabeth wasn't sure if she noticed the pink toenail polish simply to avoid staring at the rest of Karen.

Elizabeth stepped forward and shut the door behind herself. "I think, maybe, there was some miscommunication about my change in sexual orientation."

"Not at all. I have no intention of sleeping with you in my office, Lizzy. That would be wildly unprofessional."

Elizabeth couldn't help herself from commenting, "And the nudity isn't?"

They shared a little chuckle and Karen stood. There wasn't much curve to her waist or swell to her hips, but she had an attractive amount of muscle definition; athletic, but not an athlete. Elizabeth couldn't help but sneak a glance at what was between Karen's legs, and it looked like a standard setup of bald mound and barely visible inner labia. The three heart tattoos on the front of her left hip were cute, though.

Karen motioned for Elizabeth to sit. "My state of dress has some purposes. First, I can get a clear memory of how you currently react to seeing a sexy woman - if I may compliment myself that way. Second, it's a demonstration of personality editing. Third, my dry cleaning hasn't arrived yet." She giggled after the last part and both women sat down.

Elizabeth squirmed a bit in the seat, trying to get comfortable, "Do I need to strip too?"

"Only if you want to."

Elizabeth made no motion to accept the offer. "So is this standard procedure for cases like this?"

"No, but we've known each other off and on for nine years. I can be more frank with you."

It made Elizabeth think of the first time they had met, when the firm had brought Karen in as an expert on a case. Karen hadn't been a gynoid for very long at the time, but she had all the legal qualifications to analyze another uploaded mind. It made her chuckle to remember how she had insisted that Karen wear fake glasses and a grey suit to look older and more professional.

Elizabeth assumed the reason why Karen needed to be frank, "You don't think I should do this."

"I do not. But if it makes you feel any better, that's my default opinion on any brute-force change to someone's mind. By design."

"If you're not going to do it, why are we talking?"

Karen put some blonde hair back in position behind her ear, "I didn't say that, if this is what you really want, I'll do the procedure. But mind editing is serious business and if you have any other option, you should pick that option."

"And if that other option is being alone for all eternity?"

Karen tried not to roll her eyes at that, "You're not going to be miserable for all eternity because you don't want to kiss girls."

Elizabeth pouted.

Karen continued speaking, "Have you ever seen a psychiatrist before?"

Elizabeth counted on her fingers, "I saw one for a few months in law school. I did couples therapy with Darrell before the divorce. There was another one I saw briefly sometime after I turned 50, I don't recall the year. And I don't know if the consultant before my upload counts..."

"Why did you go to a psychiatrist while in law school?" Karen didn't need to immediately rehash the particulars of Elizabeth's divorce.

"I was struggling a bit that semester, academically. I focused so hard I didn't even notice my boyfriend had broken up with me until three days after he texted me." Elizabeth waited for a question or comment from Karen that didn't come. "I started catastrophizing what would happen if I flunked out after my second year. All those loans and no J.D... My friends would abandon me, my parents would disown me, no man would love me, that sort of thing. And since the university offered that service for free, I thought talking it out would help, or I could at least get some good drugs."

Karen looked as stoic and serious as her youthful face could manage, which turned out to be a lot more seriousness than Elizabeth expected. "Do you remember what the psychiatrist recommended?"

"I remember I didn't get any drugs. But most of what I remember was his insistence on teaching me breathing exercises. I guess those aren't going to mean much now."

"You'd be surprised how focusing on what's normally an automatic function can help center yourself, even now."

"So are we going to do that now?"

Karen sighed, "No, probably not. We're talking about relationship issues, not work issues right now."

"Fair enough. Do you need to plug in and unwrap my brain?" Elizabeth didn't sound enthusiastic about it.

"If you're open and honest with me - and yourself - I'm not sure it's going to be necessary."

"Good."

Karen closed her eyes for a few seconds and made some notes. "During your backup session, you said you hadn't been on a date in over a year. How long has it been since you have been in a long-term relationship?"

Elizabeth evaded, "Depends on how you define relationship."

"Dating and sleeping with one man regularly and exclusively for over six months."

"I think you overcorrected on the specificity of the definition."

Karen stayed silent and didn't give the other gynoid anything else to comment on.

"Well, let me think... probably Karthik? He went back home to India to see his family for a few weeks in the middle of our relationship, but we were together for about a year."

"And how long ago was this?" Karen couldn't remember Elizabeth mentioning him before.

Elizabeth scratched at her neck and tried to recall what happened during their relationship that would identify the year, "umm, it would have been about 12 years ago."

Karen nodded, "And how many others since your divorce?"

"I know what you're going to say, and it's nothing I haven't put together on my own. Darrell cheated on me - a lot - when we were married and I find it hard to trust men as a result. That should be an argument in favor of editing my sexuality."

"Except I've seen you at work. And I notice that Jesse and Ivan are men, and I notice that you trust them just fine." Karen name-dropped the other two founding partners at Elizabeth's firm.

"That's different. They're work friends."

"So am I, technically. We were basically Facebook friends once I stopped taking gig work as an expert witness for you and before your upload.

Elizabeth motioned toward Karen with her hands out for emphasis, "And I trust you."

"So why do you think physical intimacy with a woman will be easier to handle than physical intimacy with a man?"