All Comments on 'The Secret Admirer'

What a letdown! You kept me on the edge of my seat and so excited and then........nothing. Please tell me this isn't the end.

do write their actual meeting. It'd be wonderful I think :)

Thank you, thank you, thank you for describing him with a hairy chest. Its so sexy.

Let's hear that meeting!

Overall I did mostly enjoy this story. But occasionally at the beginning I found myself disliking Deb (when she was saying things liked "I can see why he likes me" etc) and had difficulty believing that she had such a perfect secret admirer behaving the way she did.

However I did grow to mostly like her by the end of the story.

Another thing that bothered me was the occasional change between Deb... And you.../your... I don't know if you changed or thought of changing perspectives during writing or if this was accidental but I found it pulled me out of the story while I was reading.

And finally, "three steps away stood her man". Really? That's how your going to end it? I know you said that as you wrote the story you found that it became about how Deb changed, but if that was the case you should have gone back and adjusted the beginning to enhance this rather than just leave a story, that you may have felt ended as it should, which as the author, for you it may have.

But as a reader, such an ending - with no further elaboration or closure - leaves you feeling like you have picked up a book with the last page ripped out. Or cheated.

I think the premise of the story is a good one and with some editing and a more complete ending you could have a little gem.

If you wanted to keep the focus about Deb a nice way to finish would have been "and there stood ? (Tom, dick or Harry)" any name would have done. This you could have then followed up with a sequel about them actually having a romance because as much potential as this has I struggle to really class this as a romance as it currently is, personally.

Keep writing and good luck with any stories you write in the future.

Sorry, I can't like Debra, she came across as vain and self centred. I had anticipated her being set up for a fall, instead the story ended with nothing. Not my cup of tea I'm sorry to say.

Most of the commenters to Literotica want to know details and want follow up stories to complete the tale...but to the author's satisfaction. He/she cannot complete it to the readers' satisfaction because everyone is different. If you think about it there is no one who could fit the bill laid out by the 5 days of letters and gifts. Only in your own mind can you end this story satisfactorily and that, indeed, is what we are charged to do. We can all complete it to our own pleasure and that is what we should do. Don't you dare write a second chapter to this. Make everyone conjure up a great ending for themselves. 4*