All Comments on 'The Secret Key to Mother's Panties'

My son come to bed and fuck me ... thank you my son that was very nice I quite enjoyed it!! Do you think you need to rest for a while before you fuck me again?? Yes I think I should rest mother and then I will fuck you again!! ...What a load of codswallop this story is, do you agree mother?? Yes my son it is very bad indeed!!!

Absurd from start to finish. Besides swapping tenses every paragraph,the dialogue was preposterous. Get a decent editor.

No one talks like your characters talk. It was incredibly off putting.

Sorry, but story was fairly silly. The writing? Hmmm was this translated from another language? I may write another story or 2 as your style and terrible grammar has given me hope!

Add some actual character to your "characters" please, they both sound so depressed, and act more like a business transaction than a sensual encounter.

I actually couldn't finish it, however, I gave 3 stars because it can only get better. Especially after taking a beating from all of us commentors. 🙄

My suggestion would be to work on developing characters, their internal dialogue (thoughts), and manner of speech to each other. It's an interesting plotline, good get. Also work on punctuation and flowing the story, you could "fluff" up the first few paragraphs for more in depth explanations of how they both arrived at the same point in their lives and let it keep flowing.

Write for your audience and you'll do fine. Cheers 😁

YOUR STORY SUCKED, A WASTE OF TIME.

USAF

So very, very bad.

Other comments have it covered, but I'd just like to add that you REALLY need to stop "writing".

"The dialogue was hilariously stiff and unreal. No one in the world talks like that, because if he or she did, there would never be anyone around willing to listen. Also, the details of their sexual relations adhere strictly to an overused and boring formula that has drained all the real eroticism from mother-to-son fucking. Production-line porn has lost its ability to arouse.