All Comments on 'The Seduction of Emma'

This in one of the most tender seduction stories I've read. While you could use an editor, this is much better than my early efforts. Keep up the good work.

Actually, this reminds me of my first time. I was 21, she was 18. We both liked each other, but were too shy to admit it.

This was quite good, but the bad grammar was quite distracting.

ignore that inbred moron who's complaining about bad grammar. the story was smooth and erotic to the end... keep writing and to the grammar complainer go piss off....

Thank you for a cleverly crafted story. The way that Mark gradually realises that Emma is actually in control is very well described, and the pace is finely controlled. It reminds me of many happy memories, as well…

But the Anonymous comment about editing is not just nitpicking… there are errors which unfortunately do interfere with the enjoyment of the story, and quite a few could not be picked up just by spell-checking (she/her, causal/casual, peak/peek, their/there, breath/breathe, fee/free). It's often a good idea to leave a story alone for a few days after finishing it, then re-read it with as critical an eye as you can.

But a very good job overall!

Thank you to everyone who has made comments. A revision has been submitted, and I hope the corrections will make reading the story easier.

It's a story as old as the hills--the male didn't know he was the prey.

A delightful and well-told story. When a handsome young man and lovely young woman get together, their hormones win--always.

That was loverly. forget the "grammar' twerps, your story came over the way I can only wish my firsty had gone. 5*

Please don't ignore the "grammar twerps." Several times I nearly gave up. One way to improve is to let the story sit for several days, then read it out loud. You may find the missing words, the misspelled words, the places where you've left something out. If Emma ever worries about a penis being too big to fit, remind her that a baby's head is much larger.