All Comments on 'The Serial Predator'

That really was nonsensical drivel.

The characters were ludicrous.

A thoroughly deserved 1*

All a bunch of losers.

That was pathetic...Lance got away almost untouched.

Okay... it's officially a PLAGUE on LW! What is it? Men who see their spouse being cheated on or hit on or manhandled by so low life, and the run away screaming!

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Too many little boys raised on soy formula!!!

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5/5 on the merits of good writing!

Dunb..

Can't see two policemen crying over them making up. Otherwise a decent story. 4 stars

Weak and unnecessarily complicated at the end. Also, a somewhat badly staged 'fight' Technically, and that's how courts look at things, Erica started the fight by kicking 'Lance' and given that she had cheated previously with 'Lance' any civil case, or even criminal case for that matter, might not go Erica's way The two cheating sluts got a better ending than they deserved and I suspect having a female 'editor/co-author' helped that decision! Sorry for the excessive skepticism and pointed prejudice but I see them both as accurate assessments! OK story, rather unimaginative and somewhat less than enjoyable try a different collaborator next time, may I suggest 'Saddlletramp1956' ...3*(very average)

He should have divorced her for adultery

I’m sure that the 1* fag cuck shit comments are going to be thought of, though they won’t make it past moderation.

The idea is OK, but it just wasn’t written realistically. If Erica was that valuable to the company, they would have gotten rid of Taylor for good; he was a walking, talking lawsuit in waiting. When Erica resigned, it wouldn’t have been fought, because her leaving voluntarily was a potential lawsuit leaving.

More, there’s a problem with Erica’s story. If she was as drunk and in and out of consciousness as she said, how was Taylor able to get her up and stable on her hands and knees? If I was her husband, I’d have shut down her story at that point, because that just can’t be true.

It does bring up a common LW trope, in which the husband says that he could get past a one time drunken mistake but not an affair. Well, he did in this case, and we’ll see how the readers react.

very good story. 5⭐

I really liked the divorce of Jen and Steven, and the reconciliation of Ben and Erica, because the 2 couples were in different situations.

I very much appreciate that your characters are treated with respect:

no stupid and slutty women, and no consenting and weakling man.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

Good enough story but wow your wife characters are stupid.

Pretty boring.

sloppy ending

No

Wimpy story - 1*

"He pursued me so much" - He pursued you because he wants to get in your pants!

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"Before you get pissed at me, Jen didn't confide in me, I caught them and she swore me to secrecy." - So she "swore you to secrecy?" She can't force you to do that. Better that YOU tell her to stop or you'll tell Steve!

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Why do they need to send two people just to sign a contract?

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"I understood that I was needed in St. Louis." - Again, no. She was needed on the FIRST trip, to GET the contract. This was just the formal signing, anyone could have gone.

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"It would be a small blow to them financially," - A "small blow ... financially?" She's got a pretty decent job, giving it up has to be a substantial financial loss.

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"That trip was a success and the client wanted Erica and Lance to return to sign the deal." - That was the FIRST trip, now they're negotiating on the second trip that was just to sign the deal?

No way do I believe that erica was so drunk that she would let the Lance guy take her to her room and take off her clothes. Sure the massage felt good but if she can reason enough that he is touching her she has reason enough to scream and have people come to her before the sex begins.

Being that the marriage was shaky and she was withdrawn from the husband and all that had happened I also have a hard time believing that her husband didn't;t think more had happened and divorce her. He was just like his friend Steven and even though this may not have been a long term affair, how would he know? Why would he believe her?

Glad I just skimmed the story starting when Ben agreed to have dinner with Robert. Ben is a total cuckold. All reconciliation simps get 1 star.

If Ben had a set of balls he would have had Erica served with divorce papers at the charity event with the process server announcing “for having sex with Lance Taylor, you’ve been served”.

I stopped reading when you said Steven got the kids. Wouldn’t happen.

And Steven has no right to evict Hen from the marital home. Wouldn’t happen. Couldn’t happen since she would be the primary caregiver and Steven would be paying child support. And alimony.

And then the threat of Bens where he told her if she cheated HE would get custody? In what grounds? She could fuck the entire NFL on live television and she would get custody.

Well, one thing this story substantiated was that male feminists and cuckolds are one and the same. Probably a Democrat voter as well.

Enough said.

Another wimpy spineless husband story

The gala bit was silly. What company would force employees to go.

Contracts are either signed and FedEx ed or signed using docu sign. No need for travel at all.

Typical LW garbage. ONE STAR.

Good story, but a bad revenge. I think any wife who fully appreciated the depth of her earlier actions would NEVER toy with the jackass even for an opportunity at revenge. It was just too stupid.

BTB also stands for Burn The Bastard! One kick in the balls is not enough! Maybe Steven gets with the other ex-husbands and they go a few rounds with Lance in a very dark alleyway or old building! And with social media, spread the info so everyone knows about him and his predatory behavior. Make it go viral! Could only assign a *1 for the weak ending.

Some of your other stuff was good, but this one was a dud. Why in the hell would any husband let his wife go on any out of town trip after knowing what the guy did to his wife's friend? The answer is simple: NO ONE

God what a fucked up tale. The two women have to be among the most dumb women on planet earth. And Robert is a great guy??? He is enabling a fucking sexual predator by allowing him to work for him and sending him on trips with female employees. With great guys like him the world doesn't need more really great guys don't you think?? I could go on and on with other problems with this story but it's not worth my time. I gave your tale 2* only because it was well written. But that was about the only good thing about it.

Pg1

-----"Enough, this is ridiculous. I'm not sleeping with that brute or with anyone else. I love you. Why do you constantly accuse me?"

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Maybe because one line ago you mentioned Lance saying he liked your ass and wanted to do things too it? Also didn't you just say Lance had never done anything inappropriate in regards to you?

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-----*****

-----Ben let it go, but a few weeks later he brought it up again when Steven confided in him that he thought Jen was cheating.

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Ben let WHAT go?

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You already did the asterisk thing to drop us back in time to the beginning of Jen;s affair, what were theses asterisks for as there was no time jump?

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So by the end of page 1 Erica is aware Lance seduces married women for the sole purpose of trying to destroy every aspect of their life, but doesnt object to her boss about having to spend time with him

Also Lance is in sales, what is Erica's NON Sales job that requires her to meet with prospective clients in a sales capacity?

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Pg2

According t her story she was supposedly raped, but decides the best course of action is to NOT go to the cops and quit her job? Why? Probably because she wasn't really raped so why confess at all?

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I cant go to the police, becuase it would be my word against his, ohh if only I hadnt literally destroyed all the physical evidence that proves I am telling the truth - damn patriarchy

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-----"If she claims that she was assaulted, then why didn't she go to the police?"

-----Robert then explained exactly what Erica told him. He then added

No, wrong. Robert explained that is why she isnt going to the police NOW - SEVERAL DAYS LATER

the husband is asking why didnt she go to the police right away

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-----Ben was quiet. He was starting to internalize. He realized that by resigning Erica was making him first. It would be a small blow to them financially, but their domestic life was much more important.

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Ben was quiet. He was starting to become a cuck. He realized that by resigning Erica was making moves. It would be a major blow to him financially to divorce her if she had no job, but their domestic life was much more important for some reason the author cant ever explain.

Fixed it for you

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-----"Okay, I won't interrupt. I will listen. Please tell me the entire story from start to finish."

Just like a cuck wanting to hear all about the sex

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Pg 3

Why the fuck does the financial minutia of the deal she brokered impact the type/amount/pleasurability of the sex? Seriously I want an essay detailing why the financial data is relevant to the sex she had

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Seriously you have therapists giving out contact info in their clients?

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Really I just cant anymore with this story

Too stupid. For some reason most every writer here thinks every woman is a total fucking moron with the sense of a Trump supporter. And the same can be said for the husband, most cucks are Republican like Don is, ask about Hank (rofl) and many are closeted.

Can we just change the category's name here and call if STUPID FUCKING WIVES? Very few of you ever seem to grasp that women tend to be smarter than we meat haulers are.

I don't know what to give you. The idea for the story was good the way it was developed was not. What Erica did to Lance was a crime. He punched her but I don't see how she would not be punished for what he did to him just to making pay for what she said he did to her. Steven and Ben to weak characters in the story. The wives were ease to get, since they knew what Lance was like.

In the end we have 3 happy couples? Silly.... **

I changed my mind instead ** I will give you *** for your effort..l

This story was ruined by just one character: Robert! Was he retarded? He couldn't fire the asshole? Really? 2*

Confusing.

Knowing that Lance was slime and seeing what it did to her friend Jen she would stay a mile away from that guy even if she felt she was in control 100%. It would ruin her reputation being seen on a trip with him. The company would not keep that slime ball on payroll. To huge a risk. She would not be so drunk she could tell her husband the things going through her mind and still have sex but say she couldn't stop. If it was a sexual assault as she said, regardless of the he said she said situation, a police report filed at that time would go a very long way to reconciliation with her husband. Even if he feels she put herself in that situation as he said don't go it shows that maybe she is right and she was raped. But coming home and not having filed any grievance leaves him with doubt that she was wanting it or she would protect Lance for some reason.

Good story and well written. There is one thing that is common in all of these LW stories. The wives always seem to put their husbands second.

Might as well quote Flip Wilson as try to use alcohol as an excuse.

Many other things wrong with the story but others have pointed out the main ones.

Okay story with a lot of weak points. Erica kicking lance in the nut not telling husband ,lance punched Erica broke her up badly. Only gets a reduced charge escapes jail sentence. Ben is a pussy not striking back first. U

One-dimensional characterisation, implausible plot and dialogue. Sorry to be harsh but that is a one-star story.

It was a good plot idea. The execution was a bit contrived and the characters unbelievable.

The use of alcohol as a plot device is kind of juvenile, and maybe a sign of having read too many other LW stories with the same fault. Alcohol is a drug, and has no positive physical or psychological effects. Adults know this, and business people really understand this. So the depiction of a business meeting between customer and vendor where people get drunk is appealing only to someone who has no business experience and believes what they see on Main Stream television dramas. Customers don't want to do business with people who are irresponsible, undisciplined, and act like college punks on Spring Break. Its an amateur's move and we've all made it. But Erica was no amateur, so the drunken seduction was ridiculous. You compounded the manipulation of Erica's character when you had her tell Ben the Lane "got what he wanted." He had sex without her consent, that's rape, and she kicked him out of the room before they had their first orgasm. Lance did not get what he wanted. Having Erica tell her husband that he did was just a cheap drama ploy that makes her story and the writing look stupid.

Then the ending, where everyone ends up happily ever after was absurd. Sure its possible. Lance taking a vow of chastity and joining a monastery is equally possible.

Thanks for the effort. I hope you keep at it and develop your skills to a marketable level of proficiency.

Dumb!!

I agree that lance is a slim ball, but its not all lance. Lance's wife had more balls than all the so called men in this story. Jen and Erica are just as guilty as lance. Jen was just plain stupid and erica deserves to be divorced. Ben is just a simp. He's a beta male and deserves to be her WACC. Robert at least dumped the whore.

To the commenters asking why Robert didn’t fire Lance: why didn’t the Steelers fire Ben Roethlisberger? Why didn’t the Lakers dump Kobe Bryant? Because they were star producers! Lance was written as being one of the best salesmen around, and those guys always get the breaks.

Awful. The story completely fell apart with Ben’s craven and obsequious treatment of Erica’s boss and the tortured contrivances and dialogue-no-one-said-ever that the author haD to use to hammer the story into a puppies and kittens reconciliation tale.

Come on author. Read your own story. Erica blows off Ben’s objections to her traveling with asshole, gets drunk and goes home to announce to hubby that she fucked asshole after all and oh so sorry. Then she goes to work and tells the boss an entirely different story -that she was <really> sexually assaulted. Armed with this knowledge the boss doesn’t even fire the serial assailant and instead demands the victim organize his charity event to which his employee the rapist is invited - prompting husband Ben to continue to lick the boss’s boots and to be endlessly grateful for his wise counsel.

And what is the happy ending? Wife hatches a ridiculous and of course secret plan to flirt with predator Lance to set him up for misdemeanor assault while the husband secretly stashed the kids with a neighbor so he can oblige the boss and attend the same event with the man he is now said to believe sexually assaulted his wife and whom saintly boss Robert sees no reason not to invite, let alone fire.

And they all live happily ever after.

PUHLEEZE

It's OK I guess. All the characters are borderline retarded and Ben doesn't have the balls god gave a field mouse.

The test of a good story is if the reader cares whether or not the MC’s end up divorced or reconciled at the end, this one sadly failed that test, just didn’t care one way or the other.

Even fantasy has to have a kernel of logic.

At the dinner five men were plying her with booze, even Forrest Gump could work out what the final score of that little tableaux would be.

The alcohol defence is always going to be a weak plot device. The reasons used for her imbibing that much were not strong enough when held up to detailed scrutiny.

A supposedly intelligent woman, thought so highly of as to be sent to broker a large contract for her firm and upon success casually sits down with five guys one of which is actually known to her as the sleazy predator he is, yet doesn’t even question the amount of alcohol that’s being fed to her ... ummmmm.

Well written as in grammar, spelling etc.

Didn’t hate it but not even close to five stars, not even close to three.

What kinda man let's another man assault his wife n do nothing about it.. dumb bitch n he is a wimp

All I have to say about Lance is "Wire cutters and a blow torch."

A good story of two really stupid wome and an asshole who needed killing. The ending just died completely with a pfffft. Lance got off much too easy, both from the assault and the seducing of weak, stupid, married women. No way the divorced spouses stayed close friends.

Too long. And, not erotic at all.

This story is problematic, weak, and not well written. Main issue, your unrealistic portrayal of rape & rape victims. Seriously, did you really try to diminish the rape scene you wrote by posting that BS disclaimer?! Do you know what “reluctance” means? It’s definitely NOT what you wrote. Also, “Non consensual sex” is RAPE!

Erica has NOTHING to feel guilty over and I have no idea why you attempted to make Lance’s raping her hot. It wasn’t. Her re-telling it as if it she was confessing a “carnal sin” isn’t realistic and was horrible choice in writing.

Erica didn’t choose Jen over her husband. Erica didn’t choose her job over her husband. Ben is manipulative & playing victim over “she kept a secret” when it WASN’T ABOUT HIM. Just so gross seeing him overreact and spiral. I bet if Steven was cheating Ben wouldn’t have told Erica. And Erica should be in therapy for what Lance & Ben did to her. Fuck those guys!

Holy hell is this story garbage. Makes zero sense.

Ultimately it was rape not your downplayed sexual assault (not saying that wouldn't have been bad enough). Surprised she didn't open with... Lance got me when I was drunk and raped me. My 1st reaction would be get her to hospital and checked for evidence including drugs.

If rape isn't a federal crime, it should be.

As the police aren't doing anything, perhaps Ben should... if he had a spine.

Why the hell was someone suspended allowed at a staff event, especially one suspended for sexual assault (even without evidence...)

You also need to get someone to proof read for you to spot the typos you have littered throughout.

Nice story, Mr. Greener. It's obvious that the angry ones are quite vocal, but many people obviously enjoyed it, since your score, despite their one-bombs, is still above average. They only enjoy violence, murder and mayhem. Keep after it. Randi.

Why did I even bother reading this. Deserves the low score.

the stupid bitch is selfish. i dont imagine them lasting long since there were no mention of counseling. what happens when she gets the boss job? wasted my time reading this crap

Awful, contrived, poorly written. You have been on a steep downward spiral ever since your first chapter of your first story which was at least OK. This is dreadful; Erica is utterly unsympathetic, Ben is weak not because he thought about taking her back but because she chose Robert over him again by going to the charity function knowing Lance would be there. And Robert? So waht if it is "he said,, she said?" Especially in today's me-too climate, his failure to fire Lance a couple of affairs ago exposes his company to enormous litigation risk. This story is horrible, not because your choices your characters made but because it is so incredibly contrived and then poorly written.

Was this eroic?..No

Did it have a poor representation of rape/non-consensul sex?..Yes

Is the writing contrived and not well executed?..Yes.

Sorry, man. Hope yo get better next time.

Good start of the story, I think you rushed the ending and finishing it too quickly. 4*

I think you wrote the two biggest pussy husbands in LW land.

..in my universe that Lance would have not celebrated his next birthday...or may be with the worms under the ground...

Why did the police break down the door if Erica was there? Did she forget hey key?

I hate when predators get off virtually scot free.

Lance did not learn his lesson and after being let go from his work place he moved to another state.

He finally got employment with a smaller company as a salesman and did ok. BUT he still liked to chase married women.

His last conquest he should have left alone. When the husband became aware of what was going on he decided to act. He got 4 of his associates to abduct Lance and take him to an abandoned warehouse where they were to start working him over until the husband got there.

The husband took his wife out for dinner that night and after dinner he said he had something to show her. The wife was really excited as he drove her to the warehouse. She kept imagining all sorts of magnificent gifts as her husband was very wealthy.

She got a little bit concerned when they arrived at the warehouse but hubby put her mind at ease. When she entered the warehouse she screamed as she saw Lance hanging from a crane and all bloody. Her husband then proceeded to beat Lance even more. 15 minutes after Lance finally passed out he was given an adrenalin injection and a simulant to bring him around. The husband then proceeded to castrate Lance and made him watch in a mirror.

The husband then turned to his wife and said this is what happens when you cheat on me and yes I know of the other three times and they ended up the same way as fish bait here. He then turned to his associates and said they can have her for the weekend and when finished take her to Mexico and sell her to a brothel as he was going fishing for shark.

Lance ended up being used for burley on that fishing trip. He was fed into the mincer alive and conscious. The husband caught his biggest shark ever but released the shark to live another day.

Really, an awful story. Did not like this one at all. Just full of stupid people doing stupid things.

Scores 1/5 one of your worst stories.

"Erica Francis, you know I am a bit of a feminist. You did more for feminism tonight with your right foot than Gloria Steinman ever did."

Can you write anything more stupid?

Please don't write any more garbage and stop smoking that weed you are smoking now.

Thankfully, anonymous finished your story properly with the barn and Mexico whorehouse. :-)

Please stop writing.

so she knew he was a sexual predator, and she not only went on the trip alone with him but got blitz drunk? and then the dumb sluts grand plan was to grind on him a bit then kick him in the nuts? but he lost out in the end! 50 hours community service showed him! he won't think about married pussy no more

I can understand her taking the business trip with Lance. Of course she feels she can handle the situation especially knowing in advance how he is after what happened to Jen. What I can't understand is having Lance take her to her room. She should have said NO and if she needed help the Hotel could get her help.

Stupid; she was "sexually assaulted" in STL??? She was getting massaged, her tits mauled, then fingered and loving it by her own admission to her husband. Lance penetrated her and then after a couple of strokes she panicked, Lance tried to remount her but she rushed into the bathroom and locked the door; Lance who is a complete piece of shit left; that is not sexual assault and if any of the Wokerati here think itis, you're wrong.

Then she's twerking against his dick because "[she] can handle him." The twerking is encouraging him and when she kicks him with her heel in the balls, that is legally an unprovoked assault. His punch is also an assault under these circumstances. Neither of them likely would get prosecuted in the real world. I don't care if they reconcile or not; they are fictional characters. But she let things get too far in STL; she should have refused to go with Lance and Robert is a fucking moron for making her do so. A condition of any reconciliation is that she should have sued Robert's company for sexual harassment by a known predator. And by the way, after the STL incidnt and Erica's story and resignation, Robert had plenty legally to justify terminating Lance. But any way, a 2**

Good story, but felt like the end was rushed in explaining the aftermath, Lance got of easy.

boring - 1*

Ben and Steven were both sissies, pussies. They let Lance fuck their wives while all they did was whine around. Why didn't they beat the shit out of that pussy hound?

Bs story why did have sex with the guy why dis she put herself in that position if she knew he was scum. 2 stars

I get sick of the new male stereotype who runs away without listening, who never answers the phone, who only listens to half a statement, who runs away at the first sight of something upsetting, even if it's the Pope or Elvis calling, who delete voicemails and text messages. It's become a dramatic staple because it's easy. Or perhaps they're all just Millennials who always got a trophy.

Why do people not listen and get angry when others try to help them. This ends in a slanging match and the one who is trying to help gets to be the big bad wolf. Then when it goes belly up, its usually still the other persons fault because they upset the other person and that is why their defences were down. You cant win and if you just let them get on with its still your fault for not helping them. He warned her and it still happened. Say no more.

Silly *

Really stupid and horrible collection of characters. It is well documented that counselors do not work magic. Any person willing to listen with interest can accomplish the same thing. Robert, company owner is a complete idiot. He would lose his company through his well documented inaction. Husbands were simpering wusses. Women made many bad decision, used alcohol as excuse to avoid responsibility, that is not how it works. But of course it is always the husbands fault anyway…..

Combine a poor understanding of psychology and marginal writing skills. As the submission proves, the result is bad literature.

Weak rushed ending

Started off great…

Lance raped a woman, then beat the shit out of her, and just got away?

WTF!!!!! Erica has all the intel. on this guy and she still lets herself get fucked!!!! To the curb with this slut. No redemption.

Otherwise the story is over the top tedious.

Sorry but the incident in STL was not sexual assault. She stopped it, which is her right. But knowing he is a turd, why go into a hotel room with Lance. Then all the first and second base action. Then "only" a couple of strokes. Dumb. Author lost the plot. Started good. Ending was interesting. But in between made nonsense. And while.counseling can help, how does it help what she did going to that hotel room and doing what she did with Lance. How does that get overcome with counseling? Bs. Meh one of author's worst stories. Missed opportunity. 3 stars.

1. Erica's boss is not a nice person. He knew what Lance did with Jen and kept him employed because he was a good salesman. So he was a businessman. Through his business decision he allowed Lance to strike again. He didn’t get involved until Erica when he decided she was more important for his business.

2. Erica says if she knew he was a serial seducer #he would have stopped him, yet ear

Ire in the story she hears what Lance is like from Ben relaying the information the P.I. gave Steven.

3. Jen is deluded. She didn’t love Steven as she was willing to go to Lance. That part of the storyline regarding her character is pure BS.

4. Who allows suspended employees to functions. No one.

5. Lance calls Erica bubble butt in front of the Boss. If the boss is such a stand up guy he would have immediately interjected, especially as Lance is suspended.

Too many mistakes. There are others but these are the main ones.