All Comments on 'The Shelter'

good story part 2 please

20 + 21 = 41, not 36

In a different world, social norms change.

Check mom's age . He is 21, had him atv20.

41 not 36.

Other dates didn't match. Sorry waste of time

To read.

Like someone else said ,very hard to read. I had to quit reading after the first couple of sentences. Please get an editor and try again.

Make Adam more of a long man -- some dusting of chest hair for his muscular body? He seems to have great stamina for making love.

The apocalypse story was alright but they went from a normal son mother to having sex in like 5 seconds? I didnt get it.

The math discrepencies regarding moms age not withstanding, i really liked the theme and setting. The execution of the plot and attitudes of both mom and son were unrealistic at best as well as 1.5 - 2 pages too short. keep writing cuz i loved the direction of the story developed between mom and son (replacing dead dad in son/man duties as provider and loved one, as well as the desire to have children). Flesh those aspects out more in future stories as well as toning down the vulgar dialouge and attitude between those kinds of characters. focus at least a little more on the love/closeness of a relationship between people/characters like them and less like a tawdry & carnal experience.

Son 18 mom 36 mom had son at 20 it’s just funny sorry

Wasn't he 21?

Idea was great.

I agree with many of the comments... Great plot idea, stuck in a fallout shelter with your sexy mom; however, there were many grammar and plot errors. A few examples such as, know instead of knob. Also, the amount of time his parents were married changed; they were married for 12 years to begin with, then it switched to they had been together for 10... The amount of these different types of errors distracted from the erotic nature of the plot/story concept.

Keep writing. You have good ideas! Next time reread it a couple times, or ask someone it edit it for you.

(Clearly this is just my opinion)

Most of it has been said, but what bears repeating is 'keep at it - this is a good start - and you'll get better." Looking forward to more.

Science fiction in an erotic setting. I like. I’d like the hero to have a sister to have in reserve. VG story.

Uh...just another "Wham bam thank you ma'am" story. It is written as a 14 year old would write. No depth. No real taking your reader to a place but " Here's a cock, here's a pussy, and the cock goes somewhere...in HERE...I think!"

Sequel ! Sequel !

NICE IMAGINATION...FIVE STARS@

I was 16 years when my father died and I became my mothers lover, It was so great and beautiful, It was the first time for me and I will never forget the feeling when my cock was sliding inside my mothers warm wet and almost greasy hole, oh what a wonderful feeling.

Loved this story want to read more of this while trying to give his mom a baby to make a new family!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good story, like watching a movie with my eyes closed. 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS! Thank you.