The Shop Girl and the Priest

We had a lunch of a rather special frozen vegetable soup made by Gemma and another of the girls from our landing, defrosted and warmed up with some defrosted bread rolls. It was delicious, and all the better for being eaten sat cross-legged on my bed naked.

I had to work that evening and Russ offered to drive me the short distance to the store. I thanked him, but said that I needed a shower and to iron a blouse for that night and a whole mess of other domestic things that I didn't want to bore him with.

He finally agreed and got dressed, making tea for me as I put my room back into some sense of order.

Wearing just my dressing gown and with my hair a mess, we drank our tea and talked about when we could meet again. I was invited back to his place for dinner the next night, and another movie, and I would need to bring my college bag and clothes for the following morning.

I agreed and we both stood, me walking him to the door and opening it, sharing a final and rather passionate kiss goodnight.

"Good evening, Jai, good evening, Russ." There was Gemma, her face beaming with a real pleasure at seeing me with a boy, the same way I'd seen her and Will so often.

"Good evening, Gemma," Russ said, beaming back at her. "And goodnight, Jai," he kissed me one more time, stepped back, kissed my hand and with a wave, stepped down and into the stairway.

"Why, Jaime Connor, you DIRTY BITCH!" she giggled, once we'd both heard the main fire door slam shut.

"Whaaaaaat?" I said, wrinkling my nose but knowing I couldn't suggest any kind of innocence.

"You're stood there with your 'just shagged' hair, and your amazing body BARELY covered by your dressing gown." She stepped slightly closer. "How was he?" she whispered.

"Oh, Gem." I giggled, still unsure if I wanted to discuss the details about my lovemaking with my neighbour.

"THAT good?" she said.

"Better," I said, stepping back into my room. She followed.

"Oh, come on, Jaime, NO WAY do you appear virtually naked at your door seeing off the man that has OBVIOUSLY spent the weekend in bed with you and just walk away!"

"That obvious?"

"Yeah!" she said with a giggle.

"Come on then," I said. "Bring your mug, I have to get ready for work."

As I ran back from the shower with wet hair and a wet body, Gem was making tea and asking me about how we'd got to 'that point.' I explained.

"Oh, JAI!" she beamed, "That's so romantic, he danced with you?"

"Yeah," I said, "strangest thing," I rubbed my hair with my towel, leaving me naked in front of my friend who had previously seen me in just my tiny undies, to be fair, "It was to a song that I remembered from my Mum's church socials—it should have automatically turned me off; but it wasn't Phil Collins singing it, it was a bunch of girls from Brasenose who rocked it so well!"

Gemma was still biting her lip,

"And is this it?" she said.

"Is this what?"

"Oh, come on, Jai, this thing with Russ, is it a thing?"

"I hope so," I said. "We've only been going out for two-and-a-bit weeks."

"And you've met his family?"

"The family he lives with."

"Near enough, you've still been to dinner with them, you've passed the nearest thing to a family inspection."

I smiled. The Sunday dinner with Russ, Chris, Ronnie and Jake had been lovely, I was made to feel very much at home and was even offered a bed for that night and might have stayed had I not been working.

"I hope so, Gem," I said. "There's definitely something in the air!"

"I knew I was crazy about Will halfway through our first date," she said.

"Give me time, Gem," I said getting out my underwear. "Give me time."

At his place the next night we had dinner that he'd cooked, and we watched a box set he had. I'd heard of Groucho Marx, of course, but had never seen the Marx Brothers movies and we lay on his sofa watching the funny and slightly romantic 'A Night at the Opera' and 'A Day at the Races.' They were both so funny, and he promised another night when we could watch more.

While we broke between the two films he mentioned, his 'newly qualified priest' project he had to undertake in a few months.

"It's gonna be in London," he said. "Another rough sleeper outreach job, six months in South London, BUT," he said grinning, "it's almost out of term time this summer so..." he looked down at me. "I have a very nice flat you can live in, with me, of course, until Michaelmas? There's one of your supermarkets nearby?" I raised my eyebrows, he sniffed, "Okay, There's BOUND TO BE one of your supermarkets nearby..."

I kissed him,

"Text me the dates and I'll look in my diary, and I'll check the Store locator list," I said with a big grin. I could spend the whole summer with him.

*****

The next day, I had a letter delivered to my rooms, probably the first handwritten one I'd ever had, and there was Mum's copperplate handwriting:

Miss Jaime Connor Oriel College Oxford Oxon.

I ripped it open, fearing bad news.

'My Darling Jaime,

I'm so sorry to write to you with bad news but your grandfather Connor passed away yesterday morning after a short illness. Your Dad is very upset, as you'll understand, and I thought you would want to know.

The funeral has been arranged and I wanted you to have the opportunity to come and say goodbye, even though he could be such a grumpy old Cuss to you and your sister sometimes.'

Mum wrote on in her lovely way, telling me when and where the funeral was taking place, where the wake was being held afterwards and making excuses for the rest of my family,

'I know you may not want to come home, probably not ever, but give me one more chance to tell you how sorry I am that I allowed and took part in that terrible time you had of it. At Christmas you brought everything home to me, my Darling, and I still worry myself to sleep that I may never get the chance to apologise to you and in some way make up for all the sadness we brought your way.

I know you are in contact with Uncle Frank. Let him know you're coming and I know he'll look after you on the day. I'd so love to see you again, perhaps just to have a natter and a cup of tea, anything.

All my love, my lovely Jaime,

Mum'

I cried.

Not because my grandfather had died, but because Mum was hurting so much. I knew I needed to get away, but at least she had tried. Cheryl had been in touch with her, had arranged Christmas presents for me, had told her how I was and it must have been torture for her, for them both.

We'd got on so well and I'd promised I'd be in touch and hadn't, not even a phone call. I had met the most amazing bloke, of course, but that shouldn't have stopped me.

The funeral was a week on Friday, so I email-cancelled my lecture for that day and took the next Saturday off work to enable me to get home and back again.

I rang Uncle Frank and Aunt Polly, and she answered.

"Darling, Jai," she said. "Babygirl, you got your mum's letter?"

"Yes," I said. "How's Uncle Frank?"

"He's okay, Baby. It had been in the cards for a while, he hadn't been well after the last Flu he'd suffered, never put the bloody heating on in his house, either, you know what a mean old sod he was."

"Yeah," I said. "It was always cold and damp in his bungalow, even in the summer."

"Well, he's gone on to the big equipment store in the sky and is right now probably telling the archangels they don't have the right paperwork to be issued their wings and harps."

A voice in the background called out, "That can only be Jaime!"

"Yes," Polly said, "Of course it is, here."

"Babygirl," Uncle Frank said in that way he always had.

"Frank, I'm so sorry for your loss," I said, feeling my voice about to break at this wonderful man who had been a positive joy in my life and his sadness.

"Aah, don't worry, Babygirl. Like Polly said we pretty much knew it was coming, and he had done very well."

"How's my dad?"

"Hard to tell, Babe," he said. "Somewhere between 'unsurprised but resolute' and 'classic drama queen'."

"How about Mum?"

"Solid as a rock, Babygirl, just like your Auntie. I think she gives your dad and Karen a slap if they start to milk it too much." I laughed. "She worries about you, Babygirl. She was so pleased to see you at Christmas. Buzzing she was, came round that afternoon and told Polly how great you looked and what and how well you were doing. We didn't tell her we'd spoken to you a few times, of course."

"I'll come to the funeral," I said.

"Good girl, tell me your train times and I'll have you picked up."

Two weeks later I was at the train station with my wonderful Russ at my side, dressed in his full ecumenical glory, black suit and white collar, not his 501's for once.

"Bloody hell, Jai," mumbled my cousin Jo, like me all in red and blue, the regimental colours of Grandfather's old corps. "A vicar? You found religion in Oxford mate?" She looked at Russ putting our bag in the boot of her car.

"In a way yeah, Jo. This is my boyfriend, Russ, Russ, this is my cousin Jo."

"Jo," he said extending a hand and smiling, "Jai has told me so much about you."

"She hasn't told us anything about you." She beamed back looking him up and down. "It's lovely to meet you, and about bloody time she found herself a good one."

"Oh, too kind," Russ said, straight back at her and with a hand on his.

She grinned straight back.

"Jai? I bet he's just amazing out of the uniform, isn't he."

"Oh, God yeah," I said back at her. Russ shrugged and smiled at us both, as if saying 'who am I to argue?' We bundled into her car and she started for the crematorium.

"Where's Peter?" I asked after her fiancé.

"I've got to tell Uncle Rod and Auntie Gwen that he couldn't get the leave." She looked across at Russ. "He's a Naval Officer," she said quietly, "Grandad hated him because of it and after forty-five minutes in his company would start to slag him off, so he ended up hating Grandad straight back, simples. I did point out he'd get to see him go up in smoke but... your sister is coming so..."

"Right, enough said."

We arrived at the crematorium and I met Polly, cousin Richard and my other cousin Dan, some other more distant family and friends, and Russ was quite the star in his white collar: Jaime's boyfriend.

"Where's Karen?" I asked.

"Where do you think?" Dan said. He was the paternal cousin who disliked her the most, because being the youngest, she'd technically been nastier to him the longest percentage, his whole life, in fact.

"In the car with Dad and Frank?"

"She'd have got in the fucking hearse if it had got her more sympathy and attention," he snarled.

"Daniel!" warned Aunt Polly.

"Disagree with me then, Mum, go on."

Aunt Polly looked at him and shook her head.

"Tell him, Father Russ," she said. "He'll burn in Hell!"

Russ stepped across with a hand on his shoulder and we all looked a bit shocked until he spoke, in a most contrived Southern Irish accent,

"Well Sister Polly, Oi 'tink yer wee boy should be quite safe; now den Danny Boy, I'll need 'yus to say a couple a t'ousan' Hail Mary's for 'da good of yer eternal soul, Ja'sus so ye will!" Dan JUST stopped his spluttering laughter.

"Are you SURE he's a vicar?" Jo said, her voice cracking with the same suppressed giggles.

Aunt Polly laughed and put a hand over her mouth while the rest of us laughed at them, stopped only by the sight of the two black cars pulling into the grounds.

It stopped at the front of the chapel.

"Get in with us," Jo said, and we filed in behind them, Polly stepping up to join Uncle Frank. Mum looked round and saw me and smiled. I blew a kiss, only for my sister to turn a look all hatred on me.

She pointed at me mouthing all manner of somethings at me, stopped only by the sound of 'the day thou gavest Lord has ended' played on the organ.

The pastor from the Baptist church was there and all smiles, all 'born-again' raised arms and over-loud thanks to the Lord, and everyone, even Mum and Dad, looked just a little uncomfortable with the ebullience.

There was a second hymn 'make me a shadow of thy peace' which had been my grandmother's favourite hymn and played at her funeral, here not five years before.

Russ sang along loud enough for people to hear and sing along with, as vicars always did. He winked at me and slipped an arm through mine. I felt better.

My grandfather's body was loudly committed to be cremated, in the sure and certain knowledge of his eternal soul being grumpy and short tempered in the life hereafter.

Mum had an arm around Dad's shoulder, and I could see some sadness there. Uncle Frank threw up a military salute with a quiet, 'see ya, mate'.

The curtains closed, we filed out.

I knew what it was to be a senior politician or member of the Royal family, for at every point on our way out of the chapel, past the flowers, past the still effervescent pastor and the funeral director. I had an aunt, cousin or cousin's girlfriend beside me or in front of me, hiding me from my dad and the hateful stares of my sister.

Eventually we made it out to the courtyard, and after a few moments Mum headed straight for me and gave me a hug.

"Hiya, Mum," I said hugging her back just as tightly.

"Oh Jaime," she hissed squeezing me. "Thank you, thank you!"

"It's okay, Mum," I said, "it's..."

Mum was wrenched from my grasp and almost thrown to one side by my furious sister.

"And just what THE FUCK are you doing here?" she snarled with that hatred I saw from her at Christmas.

"Grandad's funeral," I said quietly.

"He was GRANDFATHER, you evil shit-stirring bitch!" She took a breath. "Why couldn't you have left us alone, on this day, on my grandfa..." she obviously realised that he was my grandfather, too, so changed tack. "Look at Dad!" She pointed across the short concourse where our father was stood with the pastor, open-mouthed. "Couldn't you have left him alone? Today!" I just saw her swinging arm and heard her growl as her fist came towards me and she cried, "Bitch!".

I felt the wind from her miss-timed swipe as Russ pulled me back, then suddenly my lovely Civil Engineer Cousin Jo stepped between us, all shoulders and an unspoken, 'Why don't you try that again' to her cousin.

"Karen, let's not make a scene now please," she said. "We're all adults here today."

"Tell her... fuckin' tell her..." she snarled.

Russ was checking me out, and mouthed, 'You okay?' to me. I nodded.

"This your boyfriend is it Perfect Jaime? This your SCREW?" she screeched.

Russ winked at me and turned, giving my mid-tantrum sister 10,000 watts of kind Oxfordshire Parish Priest.

"I'm so sorry for your loss and grief at this awful time, Miss Connor. If there's anything I can do to help you and your family, provide spiritual guidance, a prayer perhaps?"

Dad looked awful, not only had his father died, his daughter had thrown a proper teeny tantrum, tried to hit her sister who was being comforted by a bloody vicar that she'd accused of being 'her screw' moments before.

Mum and Dad both took the still shaking Karen, bundled her into the funeral car and it drove off.

These was dead silence,

"Provide spiritual guidance? You cheeky twat!" hissed Jo, and the laughter began again, with cousin Richard bringing Frank forward to introduce him to full-time priest, part-time comedian, Father Russ—Jaime's boyfriend.

He gave us both a hug.

"You are both coming to the wake?" he said.

Russ flinched,

"Will Jaime's sister be there?"

We went and she wasn't, but neither was Dad, or my mum.

We stayed over at Uncle Frank's, getting a lift from him the next morning back to the station and Oxford, with yet another offer to come and stay, both of us.

A week passed and either I stayed at his place or he stayed at mine; there was lots of tea, lots of toast and a second jar of Ronnie's amazing jam.

There was also an awful lot of sex. I actually gave up counting. After a long chat with Cheryl, she reminded me of the sexy underwear I'd been given.

"Do something a little special for him, Babes," she said. "Invite him over and greet him dressed up, that corset will blow his fucking mind, you got black heels?"

"Yep!" I'd bought a pair after our first date.

"Oh, Baby," she purred, "You remember giving it your all at the party?"

"Yeah?"

"Do the same, but just for him," she said, sounding almost serious. "Do everything; cook him dinner, expensive wine, romantic music," she lowered her voice. "Shave down there, best makeup, expensive perfume, hair up."

"Up?"

"Yeah, stick it in a ponytail."

"Why?'

"Oh, Babes," she chuckled, "seriously?" She paused then whispered, "...it keeps your hair out of your face when you blow him..."

"Okay." I giggled.

"And it gives him something to hold onto when he comes in your mouth..."

"WHAT?"

"Do you want to own him in the bedroom?"

"Well, OB-viously?" I said.

"Do that for him then, Babe, and he'll be YOURS... mind you if the vicar has any sense he already is."

Shit.

Just chatting with Cheryl had turned me on, so I went to my wardrobe. Right at the bottom and still folded in the tissue paper Cheryl had wrapped It in was my black corset, the matching teeny-tiny panties and the stockings.

Oh yeah.

It was Saturday morning, and he was due at my place after the daylong seminar he was running. I was going to cook him a meal and he would be staying over. I was going to be getting a video but looking at this amazing underwear I reckoned on another form of entertainment.

This was a 'Gemma' moment.

Will was away on his week-long geo-physics survey as part of his post-grad course, and this would be a way of keeping her occupied.

Carrying my underwear, I knocked her door.

"Jai," she said, "wassup?" I held up the corset. "Babes, come in."

I put on the corset for Gem, and she was suitably Impressed.

"Fucking hell, Jai?" she hissed, "that looks so amazing on you."

"Can you help me get it all ready, hair, makeup?"

"Of course, Jai," she said with a hand on my shoulder. She picked up the tiny string that went with it. "Jai?" she asked, "I've got a tiny black string that would go with this so well..." She put her hands together. "Next Saturday Will is..."

"Of course you can—I'll help you!"

We tidied my room and set up a table. Gem had a few candles that she set around the room and even had a bottle of wine. I order a meal to be delivered that Gem would wait for then bring to us.

By four o'clock we were ready to go. I'd showered, shaved where I had to, put on my corset and panties, and even managed the stockings without wrecking them. Gem loaned a long button up dress that was just long enough to cover what it needed. Finally, I sat there and let her loose with her makeup bag.

She did a splendid job, and I was on tenterhooks.

"Easy, Jai, you got this." She pointed at the mirror. She was right, I had on a long blue dress, black stockings and my heels. I'd even rehearsed how I was going to remove it.

At six there was a knock on my door, and there he was, wearing his black 501's and a black T-shirt.

I was feeling so excited and wound up, trying to hide it, but he spotted my flushed cheeks through the glam make-up Gemma had done for me.

"Wow, Jai," he said. "You look stunning." He grabbed me and pulled me to him, kissing me. As usual, his hand went straight to my bottom and squeezed. "Ooh yeah, been thinking about you all day."

I slipped my arms around his neck. "About me, or about what you were going to do to me?"

"What we'll both do to each other, Jai." He kissed me just as there was a knock at the door and our dinner arrived. The door swung open and there was Gem with tray and two plates, the excellent roast dinner I'd ordered plated, served and handed to me.

Gemma gave me such a look, as if to say, 'Haven't you screwed him yet?'