The Shop Girl and the Priest

"Ooooh yeah," she said. "Best undies, Darling."

"That's all I have, Cheryl, thanks to you."

I could see it all in my head: that would do it. I thought back to our many shopping trips and how she'd assisted and advised on what I wore. I agreed with a giggle and promised to send her photos of the outfit.

"And the boy," she added.

*****

The holidays finished and I was back to my lectures, and on the first evening in our shared kitchen making omelettes with the lovely Gemma, still buzzing about being back with her boyfriend Will after the Christmas break when I got the promised phone call from Russ.

"Hi, Jame!" he said loudly and exuberantly.

"Russell!" I replied, not biting at his mispronunciation of my name, "How's your invisible best friend today?"

"Still reigning supreme and in the highest, mate. You still good for Thursday evening?"

"Of course, what time?"

"Seven?"

"Yes, I'll be outside Oriel at five minutes to," I said, starting buzz a bit more.

Gemma had moved closer to me to pick up his part of the conversation, as well as mine.

"No problem, it's rather a nice restaurant, so we're dressing up."

"I'd expect nothing else, Russ, I'll put on my good jeans... the ones with not so many holes in, and the T-shirt that doesn't have any swear words... No, hold on, the one WITH the swear words, but where the spelling and the punctuation is correct."

"Perfect, I'll go with the full surplice then seeing as you're making the effort."

"Is that the one with the hat?"

"Nah, Bishops only, mate. Still a bit new for that kind of thing."

"It'll have to do," I sighed. "Okay, Russ, I'll look forward to it."

"See you Thursday then," he said.

"See'ya." I disconnected the call, looked across the kitchen to Gemma and screeched.

"Who?" she pointed at my phone in shocked surprise.

"My mate, Russ, met him New Year's Eve."

"Tell me more." She stepped closer.

"He's a..." I paused, almost as if I couldn't quite comprehend it myself, "He's a vicar."

"A vicar?" shouted Gemma.

"Yeah," I grinned. We had the same conversation about me being sure I hadn't just walked into a fancy-dress party, but I convinced her otherwise.

"Watcha wearin'?" she said, and I explained about my nice grey top and the tight black silky trousers. It was a bit cold for the short skirts, after all.

"Awwww, no-fucking-way, Hun!" she shouted. "First date with a hot vicar? No way are you wearing your work clothes."

I tried to point out that black trousers were black trousers, they weren't a work pair and there was no way I would wear that grey top to work. It gave me a perfect cleavage that Cheryl and some of my colleagues had actually applauded when I tried it on.

"Greeeeeeeey," Gemma sighed, "grey.... GREY!" she snapped with the revelation, "Ooh yeah, come with me!"

She reached out for my hand and pulled me across to her room.

"This one..." she said pulling her wardrobe door open and pulling out a grey dress that didn't look big enough for a five-year-old, let alone her 36-30-36 figure, almost the same size as me, as it happened.

"You'll look amazing in it, Jai, trust me."

I held it up to my chest and pulled it around me as much as I was able. There was plenty of give in it and figured it would be good. I pulled it around me again, it would show off my long legs and my boobs and arse.

WHAAAAAT?

Then I thought back to that Ann Summers party two years before; I was hot and sexy, everyone told me how amazing my body looked that night and if anything, I was slightly slimmer and more toned since then.

Yeeeeeeeh.

"I'll need you to take photos for my mate Cheryl before I go out," I said, checking myself out with some new pride.

"Of course, I'll give you a quick inspection before you go."

Two nights later, I'd showered and was getting everything ready. My 'quick inspection' was actually well worth it, Gemma knew what time I was leaving, having heard the phone call and was pushing my room door open and stepping in to see me applying make-up.

"Give us it," she said with a giggle, took my eyebrow pencil and proceeded to do a far better job than I ever would, getting a darker shade of lipstick from her room.

Satisfied, I stood up and slipped off my dressing gown, turning to lay it on my bed and just in my panties and tights.

"Oh yeah, Jai!" screeched Gemma, "what a body! The vicar is going to be giving thanks when you turn up in this!" She handed me her dress and I stepped into it, pulling the ruched material up and around me, turning so she could straighten the thing over my shoulders and the single clip that cleavaged and shaped my boobs. It did look great, no two ways about that.

"Oh, Jai!" she said, seeing me in her tight-fitting dress, "the panties will have to go - they leave a line!"

"But..."

"JAI?" Gemma stopped me in my tracks, "You bend forward and the dress tightens up, don't spoil what is currently a perfect look—do as Auntie Gem says or I'll tell your Mum... no I won't, I'll tell you best mate Cheryl, she'll be much worse!"

I grinned; that was actually true. Mum would have been extremely surprised and worried at my attire, Dad would be 'disappointed and let down with a hint of disgust,' while doubtless my younger sister would accuse me of being a cheap slutty shopgirl. I twisted and turned in the mirror on the inside of my wardrobe door, I bent forward and there it was.

My large 36C's were being suspended and supported by the built-in bra in the ruched dress, and I thought my high-cut boy shorts would disappear into the lines, but Gemma was having none of it.

"Bathroom!" she pointed towards my ensuite, and I scooted inside, lowered my shiny tights and sat down pulling off both tights and panties, shook out the hosiery and very carefully pulled them up again. I had a final pee, dabbed myself dry, stuck a thin panty-shield into the pantyhose and pulled them up, and then pulling down my dress over the top.

I stepped out into my bedroom again and as sexily as I could, I bent forward and stuck out my arse.

"Better?"

"Perfect, Babes!" Gem shouted back at me, "Now which jacket?"

I looked at my wardrobe and my 'nice' black jacket. This dress was sleeveless and plunging at the front and virtually backless, didn't want to keep it hidden all night. I closed my eyes for a moment then stepped across to the door and unhooked my virtually brand-new green Barbour, pulling it on without zipping it. Gem smiled and flashed her eyes at me.

"Madam approves? Or are you going to report me to Cheryl?"

"Madam definitely approves, Jai," she said. "Town meets country and fucking hell, beautifully so. Wow! Do up the coat and don't let him see until you get to the restaurant. In fact, wait 'til Father Brown offers to take it." I zipped my jacket, took one last look in the mirror, then looked at my watch; it was time to go.

Time to go on my very first date!

I stepped into my black heels, Gemma followed me out into the corridor and we peaked out of the staircase window and saw a car pulling into the service and delivery area below.

I made to walk down, but Gemma put a hand to my shoulder.

"Noooooo, Jai," she softly and quietly, "make him wait, you look fucking gorgeous tonight, make him earn it..."

"Earn... what?"

"Oh come on, Jai, you must be going to... well at least thinking about after dinner!"

"Not really," I said.

"Do you have condoms?" she folded her arms like a school mam.

"One..." I whispered.

"That's alright if you only reckon you're going to do it once." She shook her head, "Bring him back here and I'll put some in your bedside table drawer." She must have seen the apprehension in my face, "Only do what you want to, Jai," she whispered with a hand on my shoulder. "He's a priest, he'll get it."

"He might not 'get it'," I said. "Not on a first date at least." I grinned to let her know I was joking.

"He'll understand! Go on your date." She grinned back. "He's looking at his watch and starting to panic, perfect timing." I started down the stairs. "And WORK IT, GIRLFRIEND!" she shouted after me.

Many of my friends had told me I had a really feminine wiggle about me, and Cheryl had never let me forget it, insisting I bought the right trousers and skirts that showed it off.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and there he was. He looked great, as well, in his black Levi's but with a dark grey shirt, tie and jacket, I actually found myself missing the white collar I was used to. He looked amazing though, and I smiled at him.

I walked across very slowly, trying to hold back my nervous grin. I needn't have worried as his grin looked just as nervous as mine. I stepped across to his car, a nice looking and quite sporty looking MPV.

"Jame," he said with a grin, leaning in to take my hand that he leaned down and kissed.

Not to be outdone, I dropped a very simply curtsey adding, "Your holiness."

His grin pulled into a smile and I could see his brain working on a suitable response.

"That's for the Catholics, Jai," he said, for once cutting my name down to what most people went with.

"Sorry," I said as he led me to the passenger seat of his car and the door he opened for me, "Your eminence?"

"Still the Caff'licks," he said as I thought hard about getting into his car and not displaying next week's laundry. I remembered a TV fashion programme though and sat daintily onto the seat and with knees together, lifted my feet in. Success.

Russ scooted around to the driver's side and clambered in, clipping his seatbelt.

"Oh, by the way, Russell Hughes!" he extended a hand. "Seeing as we'd only gone on first names at the hall."

"Jaime Connor," I said, adding, "A pleasure," without thinking it through. He just smiled, shook my hand once, held it for just enough time for it to notice, then started his car.

The drive was quite short, but Russ was still charming, commenting on how the restaurant wasn't far but there was a definite January chill in the air and he said being a gentleman he could never see me walk too far in 'those killer heels'.

I blushed. Gemma had given me the shoes right after seeing me in the dress, and they did finish off the whole outfit.

After a few minutes, he swung into the car park of a really nice-looking place I'd walked past a few times, but had never really noticed it amongst the other old buildings Oxford had in such abundance.

It was the Parsonage Grill, and spitting distance from Keble, the other college I'd thought about applying to (because Karen wanted to go there), and any thoughts I had about being overdressed were instantly banished as I took his arm and we walked in, me in my tight-fitting finery and Russ in his dark blazer and dark trousers, fitting in well with the other guests—men in suits, women in cocktail dresses—I only knew that because Gemma had told me that was what mine was.

As she had predicted, Russ asked to take my jacket and I slowly unzipped it, easing the not inconsiderable weight off my shoulders and showing my fine cleavage.

I could see that Russ was impressed, so he bloody should have been—I looked as hot as fuck, hotter than I'd ever looked before in real clothes, even with Cheryl's guidance. This dress was way sexier, and probably way more expensive than anything I'd ever worn before.

Russ's slightly shocked response was worth every penny.

I ordered the ribeye, and on Russ's advice went with medium rare, and I'm pleased I did. The flavour and texture were out of this world, and by far the nicest steak I'd ever eaten. Russ had ordered a bottle of a very nice Rhone, and it was the perfect match.

Although I looked like a sexy woman, the vast trifle on the sweet trolley made me revert to greedy schoolgirl, and it was yummy.

Our chatter had been light and funny, it seemed that Russ took life just as seriously as I did and we joked and laughed our way through the amazing meal and I felt myself just drawn to him. Russ was gorgeous, and funny, and clever, and I just wanted to get to know him so much better.

I had an idea that I should invite him back to my place for coffee. I'd been given a posh coffee machine as part of my various gifts from the last store, and I had plenty of the little capsules to bung in it.

When the waitress arrived and asked if we'd like coffee, I stepped in and said no, looking across to my dinner companion and smiling at him. I wanted him to know that this wasn't the end of the night.

I looked at my watch and we'd been in the place for two hours, which had passed so quickly. I looked up at him again as we both finished the last of the wine.

"Russ, I have a really nice coffee machine back in my rooms that I was given when I left my last job. it has a vast selection of different capsules," I leaned slightly forward to give him a better view of my Cleavage. "Like to come back to mine and try some?"

"That would be lovely," he said, looking to the waitress. "The bill, please."

He paid it and refused my offers of going halves with him.

"For heaven's sake, Jai, you'll have me cast into the fourth circle, mate."

I looked across to him, trying hard to remember some reading I'd done years before about Dante's five circles of hell, and thankfully, it came back to me.

"But you're hardly a... a hoarder or a spendthrift."

"It's close though, Jai," he said. "I did keep those posh biscuits back at Christmas."

"All right, if it's a problem I'll speak up for you from Limbo." I said, "I consider myself a virtuous pagan, after all."

Virtuous; that I certainly was. Other than my Ann Summers 'plastic pal that's fun to be with' (Sorry H2G2 fans) and lots of Super-plus sanitary towels, nothing had passed my own vestibule in my 22 years on the planet.

It was like Russ could read the slightly rude thoughts running through my head, but he smiled and handed over his credit card.

We both stood, and he held my coat for me while I slipped my arms in, a reflection on the window showing that he was taking the opportunity to check out my bottom and my back. I turned and thanked him with a very real smile. Shit, but I fancied him so much.

We headed out to the car park, and like the college girls I'd envied, I left my jacket hanging open so he could still appreciate the view and we walked out to his car.

The trip back to Oriel was short, but there was nowhere to park. He insisted that he would find somewhere, and I said I would walk back to my rooms with him.

We found a single parking space and slid his car into it, climbing out and pointing at the permit in the front windscreen.

"Benefits of believing in a deity," he said. "Bet the Atheist Society doesn't get free parking from the council."

"I may take it up with them," I said, and stepped around to the pavement while he clicked a button on his keys to lock up.

The street was quiet, nicely lit, and I zipped and poppered my jacket closed against the chill, raising the collar a bit and regretting not bringing the scarf I'd messed around with for fifteen minutes three hours before.

"Cold?" he said.

"Yeah," I said. "The curse of not wearing very much on a night out; the trouble is, a great look for the nightclub or the dance floor isn't normally conducive to October, November, December and January," I said.

"You look incredible, Jai," he said, simply stepping closer to me. "I thought you looked pretty amazing in your black trousers and your fleece on New Year's Eve, but bloody hell..."

He was so close that I could smell his aftershave.

"So, Russ," I said with an embarrassed grin. "Being an off-duty vicar, are you... allowed to kiss a pretty brunette undergraduate atheist?"

"We're like the police, Jai," he said, moving slightly closer to me. "We're never off duty, BUT..." He leaned in with narrowed eyes. "I'd never have taken holy orders if it meant I couldn't kiss a girl as beautiful as you."

His lips closed on mine, and for the very first time I kissed a boy.

It was amazing and my head was buzzing with the thrill of it. As our tongues met, I could taste the Rhone we'd drunk prior to drive and our slow walk back to my place.

I felt his arms slide around me to pull me to him, so I did likewise, sliding my hands up his chest to sneak around his neck. Wow, it was without doubt the most amazing natural high I'd ever felt, ever.

Okay, since I'd had my own room and my own privacy I'd experimented with my vibrator and had made myself come with it, but this. WOW!

We broke for a few seconds and looked at each other, two happy smiley faces that obviously hadn't objected to the contact. We kissed again, both getting slightly more involved this time.

"Let's walk back to my rooms," I said. "I promised you coffee, and I'd kind of like to try this in the warm." We kissed one more time.

With his arm around me, we slowly walked back through the town I knew well, with the fresh January coldness that suggested snow, a hard frost at least.

With my arm around his waist, I looked up at him.

"So, Russ," I said, "what was it that first attracted you to the pretty brunette atheist?"

"I heard Tom talking to you and there was something in your voice—I had to see its owner. Now, it's hard enough to get Tom not to be a twat when he's sober, but when he's had a couple of glasses of wine and a large mulled cider, it's even worse. I was going to come after you to apologise anyway, but I saw your profile and I had to get closer, and you turned." He pulled me tighter. "Then I saw this beautiful face." We stopped walking and he kissed me softly again. "These dark brown eyes..." he stroked my cheek, "this always-smiling pout of yours; well, I fell under your spell right then, tea and coffee was the best I could do at the time."

"It worked, though," I said hugging him tight and carrying on our walk.

"What was it that worked?" he said, looking down with the loveliest smile.

"The tea and coffee," I kissed him back. "You had something," I said. "I don't know what it was—your look... I just knew you really wanted me to come with you. So I did." We stopped and with arms around each other, kissed deeply, strongly and passionately.

We eventually made it back to my rooms and my front door.

"There isn't going to be a college porter stopping me coming in, is there?" Russ said. "I'd hate to get thrown out on my ear by some Scullion lookalike."

I'd listened to the Audiobook of Tom Sharpe's classic 'Porterhouse Blue' when I was still at college because I quite liked the idea of that style of academia.

"Not tonight, Russ," I said. "And don't forget that was Cambridge—besides my oppo' Gemma has a new boyfriend, and she's all over him like a new suit. Anyone trying to stop her bringing him into her flat would very much have their eyes ripped out." Russ looked a bit concerned. "Oh, don't worry, once she'd ripped their eyes out, she'd make them a green tea and talk about her feelings."

"Green tea," he gave a shudder. "I'm much more of an Earl Grey man myself."

I raised my eyebrows. "Really?" I said. "Well, it just so happens I have a brand new box of Lipton's I opened this morning."

"Oh, Jai," he said, pulling me into his arms again.

I laughed, but was it stopped as soon as he pressed his lips against mine.

I opened the door and we walked up the stairs to my landing where Gemma's front door was open. She was sat on her boyfriend Will's lap, and smooching much as we had been in the street.

"Jai!" she screeched, leaping from her sofa and Will's clutches, "Hi," she said as she got close enough to see Russ. "Had a good time, Hun?"

"It was lovely," I said. "Gem, this is Russ—the vicar I told you about. Russ, this is Gemma, and more importantly," I unzipped my jacket. "This is Gemma's dress."

"Gemma, it's a pleasure. If your dress looks half as good on you as it does on the lovely Jai, here," he gave me a squeeze, "It's no surprise you have such a handsome chap's lap to sit on." He bowed slightly.