All Comments on 'The Six Feet Between Us'

Probably the most emotional story I've ever read here, I laughed, I cried, I worried...I loved how it slowly unfolds and even more the twists and surprises. It's hard not to fall in love - reader's love - with any of the characters - well except with the one intended bastard.

Definitely on my list to be re-read.

You wrote a great story. The story flowed very well and was fun to read!

I really liked this story - obviously, I read 16 lit-pages of it. But because you put so much work into it, let me spell out some of the things I thought you did particularly well:

1) The way you "arranged" your characters in varying combinations (Paul befriending Amelie, Paul falling for Miri, Amelie living with Paul, Paul talking to his mom, Miri talking to Paul's mom, ...) struck me as a very clever way of structuring your narrative and giving us time to appreciate all of your characters. Speaking of them:

2) How well you do characters is, I think, most obvious with Amelie. If I were to recount her to someone out of the context of your story, she would appear too snarky, too sarcastic, too cute, definitely too clever for a 10, then 11 year old girl. But you just make it work, and her a highlight of your tale, both in funny and sad scenes. She reminded me of Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes) in that regard: Clearly too sassy a child to be real, but so very well written that it doesn't matter, doesn't in fact even really register while reading the comics.

3) I was initially sceptical of this story transitioning into a quarantine-story for the last act. I didn't feel it was going to work - I expected the small-town-feel and timelessness you conjured to clash with covid feeling both international and very current. So picture me very surprised when the transition felt as natural as rain.

4) You wrote into life a protagonist who was likeable, heroic and still made him relatable and, importantly, believable. Everyone who has ever read a book in their life can appreciate how incredibly hard to find that combination is.

So: Incredibly well done! I am now going to go and check out your other stories.

Every time I come to the site and clock on this category, I'm always hoping that I've clicked on a story like this. Something with real emotional depth. It's amazing how well you have constricted this story, and how the characters make you feel. Not every romance is happy from beginning to end that brings reality to love. We may not always remember the things others say to us, but we remember how they made us feel. Thank you so much for taking the time to show this story to go to fill fruition. I don't know what the deadline was initially, but I feel the story is better for the extra time you had to work on it.

No exaggeration. This is the best story I’ve ever read, here on this site. I was hooked the moment I started reading.

Amazing. Tender. Sadness. Love. Humor.

It runs the gamut.

Thank you for sharing this with us.

It would appear that we have a new star among the authers who write for us on this site. I rarely come across a story I know I will read again and again. This story pulled on every emotion and was a good idea brilliantly achieved. I look forward to seeing your next story.

I made it through 3 pages and then realized that I wasn't going to have the patience for 16 pages. Apparently several commentators thought it was worth it, but the repetitious nature of the dialog and the silliness of the people was too much for me. 1*

No other words for it

Glad that I found this author. Don't stop writing.

- The fan from India

A fantastic example of what art is, it made me feel a whole range of emotions. It didn't have any underlying political, social, or moral commentary and that is very rare indeed in these times. It was just a fan-fucking-tastic story.

Never stop writing, or else

I want to add my voice to the others by saying this is a great story. I loved the characters and the premise of the story. You worked the readers emotions like a great writer and I couldn't stop reading. Thank you for taking the time and having the imagination to pull this story out of your head and letting us tag along. I will look at your other stories. 5 stars!

5 stars aren't enough to rate what an amzing story you have shared with us. Thank you for all the hard work you've done to produce it.

Please keep up the good work.

I'm weeping

Beautiful story. 5 stars and a favorite. You have a rare gift, please share more with us soon

What can I say that hasn't already been said? I guess the best thing to tell you is that I have never voted a five before now. But this effort truly earned it. Bravo!

This is the longest story I've ever read on Literotica. It was very good and well written. I liked the way it was all tied up at the end.

The depth of the characters and the interplay of the various storylines is marvelous!!

I laughed and I cried and thoroughly enjoyed the entire tale!!

Well done!!

Lovely Story

I love the story and it was well written. I look forward to your future creations.

Thanks for all the feedback! It's very much appreciated, both the encouraging and the more critical. I take it all in and I do appreciate each of you taking the time, not only to read the (long) story, but also to leave a thoughtful comment. The reception for the story is actually surprising to me. Much of it has some very personal angles to it, so I wasn't sure it would resonate all that well with others. Again, thank you so much for taking the time to let me know what you thought of it.

-JJ

There are far longer sagas on Literotica and good ones at that but this is a great read and 16 pages isn't too long at all. Great characters with such great dialogues that emotions swing widely between laughing and weeping. And then you brought in Covid with all of its ramifications but pleased it worked out as a romance. Loved the ending - still six feet between them.

Brilliant.

"As if overnight, we lived in a new world. A world in which those you care about could be taken from you without notice, rushed to a hospital where you weren't allowed to go in with them, admitted to a room you couldn't visit, and intubated without giving you the chance to hold their hand or say what might be your last words to them."

Yes, we all now live in this new world. And in this odd world and these strange times it is a good fortune to find a story which reminds us of the fact that sadness and happiness often are really close to each other - less than six feet apart, so to speak. Thank you, joeyjax!

Your writing is exceptional and I have read many good ones and great ones on LIT.

The story was great until the virus. Since most of us are affected buy it I feel it was not necessary for what the story was about before the virus came forward. While the virus has not affected any of my family, and it's large and none of them have contracted it and it hasn't really affected me as I'm retired, it has had a very negative effect on a lot of people and society and fabric of our country. I felt the inclusion of the virus actually detracted from the message in the beginning. That's just my opinion, not a criticism, but it was and is great story with a happy ending and loved! Keep writing. I'm just tired of hearing about his virus on the news everyday. by the way logining as user doesn't work anymore it won't take the security code

Grand-mère... Je préfère mémère. :). Je suis Québécoise.

I wish people wouldn't write about subjects they don't understand. I am sorry but your understanding of trauma and psychology is shit. Paul is completely unbelievable in entirety. The whole premise is ridiculous.

It took me a while to finish this because it was heavy. The anon poster before me was rude but having a period of dissociative amnesia for over a decade is pretty rare. In any case, I recognize that Paul's amnesia was central to the story and his character development. In my opinion you saddled Paul with way too much baggage for me to accept him having the capacity to build lasting relationships. The sheer amount of neglect and abuse (physical, emotional and psychological.. by BOTH parents) would result in someone who is extremely damaged psychologically. He manages too well to be realistic and the relationship is far too smooth. The fact that she speaks with his parents (prior to his amnesia resolving) would be seen as a huge betrayal. There are other instances where he would feel the same. She lied about Amelie from the start. Even a well adjusted person is going to question that many lies.

I am sorry but there is little realistic about Paul.

This was, for me, a fabulous story; and your masterful development of realistic characters was the glue that held everything together. It felt as though these people were real - their emotions beautifully believable. I sincerely ached for them and I deeply felt their joy and their confusion. And I celebrated their strength - as each character contributed to the immense passion and strength needed to achieve a happy ending. Your story was extremely well done ... thank you for sharing it.

Beautiful story. Beautifully written. Thank you.

I re-read this. I had to. It still moves me. Still the best story on this site.

My mother just died and my father and my brothers experienced Death without contact. That is the cruelty of this plague. Even without the guilt your protagonist felt, it hurts like hell. She died alone.

Some of your derisive commenters seem to have forgotten

that this is both free and fiction.

Creative endeavors are hard work and often draining.

I'd suggest the complainers take their $ back and stuff it.

Great story. I'm a professional non-fiction writer and editor, so I was distracted by some of your grammatical slip-ups, but it was a great read. Thank you.

Although I've been an avid Literotica reader for over a decade, this is the first time I've been moved sufficiently to comment on a story.

Great story. This writer has a real talent! I hope he continues to grace us with his work.

Great story, loved the humour and love that infused it from the start. One that I want to read again and again.

This story is perfect.

Just interrupting reading this story on page 3 to note some things I'll probably forget later.

First, I usually come to Literotica for erotic, as in explicit, stories and probably wouldn't have clicked yours, if I had known that it's tagged as "romance". It so happens that only today I discovered that there seems to be a monthly contest going on here and your story was ranked number one, and I wanted to get a feel for what people on this platform deem fit for the first place in a writing contest.

Second, my eyes actually stung in unison with Paul's when I read that scene between Paul and Mireille at Bubbe's deli, just as I couldn't help smiling when I read the three exchanges between your main characters in Miri's store before.

To state "well done" or "well written" would imply that I was in a position to dole out praise, like a famous book critic. I'm not, but let's just say that I've read lots of stories in my life and that this one got me really quickly.

Thanks for sharing. Have to go. Need to read the rest.

And i'll be damned if it isn't even better.

The richness of the characters , their interactions and growth, the cross cultural interplay.... just does it....and well.

Well...Can't resist a dinky grouse...."Thrusted" is an awkward word ( if it's even a word at all) . "Thrust" is the right word and it works for the past tense as well.

Thank you Joeyjax,

Thank you. This story is better than I can adequately express, and it touched me in ways I don't fully understand. Though the details are different, Paul's story parallels my life. Understanding his journey helps me understand my own. But all I can adequately express is thank you.

Thank you for this story. It was wonderful and happy and sad and wistful all at the same time. In particular, and separate and apart from the story itself, the writing style in many places reminded me strongly of one of my favorite authors, Robert Heinlein.

I really really liked this story. Thank you !

So I’ll give you five stars instead.

I do have one bit of concern: this story was cruising along and suddenly up popped Corona. It was almost as if you were working on a story and suddenly threw in Corona when the new contest was announced.

The beauty of this story is weaving of emotions which is rarely seen in this materialistic world. The honesty of different characters towards each other is something mesmerizing. It's not about how well you deal with your own emotions but it's all about understanding emotions of others. Well done dear.

The story is too close to reality for right now, not a criticism, maybe the best words would be immediately relevant. This is without a doubt one of the best stories I have read on this website. It may be a work of fiction, but it feels like you have lived parts of this story. Keep up the good work.

My wife and I greatly enjoyed this story and "Wine and Spirits". You are talented writer. Thank you for sharing..

Beautifully written...what a great story!!!

Just . . . Holy CRAP.

I came across this because it was "Similar" to one of our recently published ones. I sit in awe. This is maybe only the second or third story I've read here on Lit that got me somewhat visibly emotional.

You drew me into this story so completely with so many easily recognizable cultural references. Rodents of unusual size? I knew instantly what movie they were watching. Chimney pots and the description of the house, I immediately had a clear visual of the aging neighborhood.

Will

Thank you for sharing.

Your writing is meaningful and thought provoking. I look forward to reading your other stories.

I loved the journey through his relationship with his father. Gonna ring my cranky old bastard this evening now. You write with a lovely lilting cadence that dances through scenes and gathers little heartstrings on the stories journey. Nicely done.

Powerful in the most sensitive way. The pacing and character development where the cherry on top and excellent complement to the story. Please keep writing. That's all I can ask of you.

Dude, that was awesome. Thanks.

Absolutely superb. Thank you very much

Fantastic story

Truthfully, I nearly gave this story the flick at the beginning but I’m glad I stuck with it until the end. I turned out to be a great story. Well done .

brilliantly written, I'm mesmerized!

the only downfall for me was the storyline of nobody telling him about Miri being Amelie's mother - the whole thing seems too constructed to me (and also it seems, that Pauly deserved a bit more trust from Miri, considering how he trusted her from the beginning). but apart from that, it is brilliant!

I'm especially stricken with the way the author deals with how aggression ist rooted in feelings of inferiority - a rare insight in general, and especially on this site where a lot of writers tend to paint by numbers, so clichés and tropes become unconvincing stories of superior heroes with giant cocks, who are forced to fight evil-to-the-bone bullies to protect their fragile princesses (cup size DD).

please keep on writing, I'll gladly follow your ways!

A beautiful story of pain, love & family....with a touch of spice ;)

Really enjoyed reading it...including where it actually brought tears to my eyes <3

Geez, this crap was first place? Won't bother with second!

I started reading and could not stop. One minute was mad and next happy then mad then crying again. I really enjoyed it.

Thank you. The story I didn't know I needed to read., but i am so glad I did.. Thank you.

Wonderful.

This was an amazing story! This elected emotions out of me that I haven't felt from a good story in years. Keep up the great writing!

This was one of the best stories on this site, mine included. I enjoyed it immensely. Well deserved of every praise. Thankyou.

Characters that fell authentic and a story that makes you feel, hope for the characters and great for the characters, smile happily if they're fine, hold the fingers crossed if they're not. Rough and smooth, as in life, and very much worth the time. Thank you for writing and sharing!

Very authentic characters and situations. It made me think a lot about my relationship with my father. Extremely well done.

It's all marvelous, but the first scene in the deli with the Breitmans deserves a 10! Thank you!

Great entertainment! A sad but true representation of life in the pandemic.

Wow! A truely great story.

Your 2 stories are wonderful. Please keep writing. Thank you.

A beautiful story thank you. The second time I have read it and I still cried.

I will now read all your stories. Thank you from a faceless friend on the other end of this Ethernet :-)

Disgusting. What a deceptive woman. I immediately went cold when the truth about her became obvious. No man should ever be tricked into being a cuckold and raising another man's kids. I would drop them all on the spot.

That was amazing, I look forward to reading more of your work. Do think that he took Miri's deception about Amelie and Cecile a little too well, but overall I don't really care too much because she had a valid reason to be nervous. 5*

What a great story .. I loved from start to finish .. thanks for sharing it !!

What the actual fuck is wrong with anons on this site? So many misconceptions in 3 sentences.

An excellent presentation of the frustration of dealing with the reality of the pandemic in the context of dealing with very realistic family conflicts, with the added desire to provide a safe place for a child to grow up in. You make a good story out of juggling the three. Thanks for sharing.

Loved it ignore the sour grapes from another anon who is not me. Have to feel sorry for someone with such a sour view of love. I've read it three times and will read it again.

Excellent.

Wonderful. 11 out of 10

What a moving, excellent love story showing the heartbreak of covid being surmounted by courage and love. lpw

“ And without further adieu, on to the story! “

You should have had one of those wonderful beta readers check out your intro as well. Unless this was some twisted little pun using French (and thus rendering the message meaningless), to have such a glaring error at the beginning of the story made me want to back click immediately.

too long...

Nearly halfway through 2023 and it’s strange remembering how dreadful Covid was, the uncertainty, the fear and the resignation, but above all the thousands of people we lost but couldn’t properly mourn at the time. That said, this was a great story that spanned that time and yet most of the trauma within the story was decades earlier, loss can affect different people in very different ways. I loved the way this story wound it’s way through the lives of our cast, I confess though that my favourite characters were Cécile and the potty mouthed Amelie, who deserved a follow up story all of her own.

Oh and re the previous Anon comment? Sadly not long enough.

Regards, with thanks, Ppfzz. 5⭐️

Some say too long. I say that it was one of the best romance stories on this site.

Justin

Just incredible. Thank you.

One of the best stories I have read here !

The characters are well developed and very sensitively and precisely described, not too short, not too detailed, just right.

Only the COVID part was IMVHO not really necessary : it seemed - although well told - a bit like a foreign object in an otherwise perfect story !

All in all 5/5 stars !

This was amazing. Thank you so much for writing it.

This was so touching! I think I’m in love with the whole family. The relationships are complex, and feel so authentic. Amelie is such an adorable little gremlin.

Tried to.begin this story several times only to be distracted after a few paragraphs. I had about given up on the story as not having an appeal to me. Finally after about two weeks I managed to read it through. I am so pleased I did. Great story. Only negative I have is Miri, she is just too bossy/dominate in their relationship. Meddling in his strained relationship with his father is just too much. I would never trust her or the things she purported to want. Hopefully it will work out for him. The daughter is precious and he obviously loves her as a real father should. Thanks for this great covid story. John