All Comments on 'The Sleepover'

Very realistic. Many girls have gotten with friend's brother, it is often a wonderful thing.

A really nice first story! It's great to find a new author with talent. Thanks for sharing it with us. :-)

Great job on your first story.

Grant is the older and sexy brother -- give him more description! Any hair for that muscular chest and abs? A big cock that he obviously knows how to use on Sue?

"I hate to break this up, but I need to get up early to meet some friends for a run."

Seriously?

Spoiled by the crap of the condom he should have just pushed is cock in and shot his cum deep up inside her unprotected pussy

This is story land no VD or babies

Please write more. Make it a happy ending. Please describe what they look like. Has he always been secretly in love with her? Why does he have to wear a condom? I loved reading this.

enjoyed reading your first time

keep up the good work, and write

another. I gave you a big five-o

Disagree with the comments. We can use this our own imaginations to decide what they look like and his patience and use of protection show a refreshing sensitive side. If I wanted him to give her a facial, I could have watched porn.

This is a brilliant story. The guy is thoughtful and sensitive. The story is well-paced and believable. Having the condom is the icing on the cake - thank goodness writers like you still care about safe sex!

This is a great story for your first effort. You writing style is great. Don't agree with the not so positive comments. I don't always need physical descriptions of the characters especially when it comes to over stating the size of a guys penis which is done all to often. If literotica was the benchmark for such a thing there would be a hell of a lot more under average guys in this world. Well done and look forward to reading you other stories now.

This story was a great length, almost perfectly-paced, and well-worded. The characters were just a touch generic, which had pluses and minuses. While it gave less room for learning about the characters, it also spent less time up on exposition, and allowed the reader to fill in details, and maybe fantasize a little more each to their own tastes. The fact that Grant was so caring about Sue's pleasure and used protection made it really feel like he cared about her, and made it all the sexier.

Many authors use too much detail when describing the grand-finale sex scene, and draw it out too much. This story almost leans a little too far to the other direction, and seems to leave out just a little bit of detail from that scene specifically. It's not a major detraction from the story, just something to work on for next time. Keep it up!

Amazing... One of the better 'First Time' stories...

Is it weird that I want this to be a romance book now? it's just so satisfying that the dude isn't a jerk and actually cares about what the girl wants, especially since it's her first time?

Its a very good read the guy was caring a good change from

the jerks every one is writihg aboutï

Excellent story - very erotic. Good new author for Literotica- more please