All Comments on 'The Sleepover Ch. 02'

Yea! this is such a great story

So hot.

This is where you lost me. You had an amazing thing going and then suddenly and seemingly for no reason, you changed course and then got the parents involved. And after they were very against them dating because they didn't want the incest to happen. This would have been leaps and bounds better had you left the parents out and left it with their secret incest and the thrill of being caught.

Going great!!!! Would of been better if, you had the mother just get fucked by her son.. They doing it under his roof & not his parent's.. So, its not like they have to let the Dad know.. Since, basically the mom came over with the intend to get fucked by her son & not say anything anyways, with the Dad fishing.. If the mom tells Dad about her & their daughter, then she has to tell him about her watching their children fuck & masturbated, too.. Then explain, why she didnt tell him before.. I just hope Kristina brings her Mom over & let him fuck her, too.. Cant wait for next Chapter..

You lost my 5 stars when you brought in the parents....the same parents who tried to stop the half-siblings from fucking. It was a perfect brother sister threesome. All you needed to add was a little breeding and boom, perfection! Alas.....

I don't recall reading this 2nd part of this series in the past. It's good but i am a little confused as to what happened with the concern for the need to use birth control. It seems to have disappeared unless the girls are suddenly on the pill. Maybe i missed that connection somewhere.

Loved it.

Love the story, working on beginning of Ch 2….my pet peeve is the MAJOR character f’up with Brandon breaking up with “Kelly” in Ch 1 but Dad asking about what happened with “Karen” while working on the plumbing at the new apt early in Chap 2!

Only read 1&2 so far,

I love it all until dad was getting brought into it.

Also Kelly’s name becoming Karen in part 2 felt awkward.

The Kelly/Karen bit messed things up. Also, is Kristina now on birth control? Ever since they shifted to Brandon's apartment, there has been no mention of a condom and multiple mentions of 'filling her up.'

This jumped the shark quickly. Dragging the parents into things snapped the elastic on the suspension of disbelief. Good example of why stories dont need sequels

Oh my god, loved it, was hard the whole time reading it.

Wow you had a great read going here for the most part, 5 stars all the way until this FUBAR. The slip on the character name is one thing but then you have to bring the old folks into this. Whom by the way are so dead set against even the slightest thought or possibility of incest, for about two minutes that is, until of course they think they might get a taste. That cost you 4 stars and the only reason I gave you the one is because beneath that one star it says, I HATE IT! That said, your a decent writer and I like longer stories like this but I guess your imagination ran out for the kind of story you had started. I hope you can pull your shit together and continue writing hopefully with what it takes to follow a good story line through. I'm older than the parents in this story so don't think this is some younger reader revolted by the thought of the parents getting involved. Its about follow through and giving your characters a mind of their own and following them where they take you, not pushing them where you want them to go. "Thanks for the effort and keep writing." W

Samslam,

sorry but I kinda agree with the other Monkey's in comments. I'm kinda being hit with cognitive dissonance by the different potential connections that you might make. Mom, Dad, The Andrews parent couple, etc... No I was happy in Fantasy World with Brandon and the 18 year old girls. All combinations of the Five. sigh.

ch 2 ruins a good story

This story........ Like most of the people leaving comments I liked the first chapter. There was something special about it. This one.......the train derailed. I like the story between Brandon and lauren, and I don't mind Kristina being there. They make sense when they mention Lauren needing a reason to be there. It makes sense that Brandon would have sex with Kristina. Otherwise she starts to feel like a third wheel and the readers feel bad for her. The problem I have is they don't go anywhere. Brandon is 'dating' Kristina, but yet she only comes over for sex. How does the illusion work if they are not seen together?

I'm not against the included parents thing, I'm against adding them for no reason. If the Mom had walked in on them and masturbated to watching, that would have worked. They could have noticed her as she left. That could have been the opening to her and Lauren's conversation. That would have been better then Lauren trying to seduce her mom out of the blue. catching them and seeing that, could have been what convinced mom to think about sex with her kids. Its a more natural ease into it.

In the first chapter there was an interaction between the siblings that was fun and I enjoyed. This chapter seems to have lost it. It's either they are having sex, or talking about sex. There is nothing else to this left but sex. Brandon said he would be great with just Lauren. It bothers me that he is great with just her, but now he is looking forward to doing his mom? I understand he is not a dominate person, but why is he letting Lauren convince him to sleep with his mom? Then we have the dad introduced as a possible fuck buddy for lauren...... Once again we have a character (Lauren) That doesn't want to sleep with someone. Why is Brandon okay with this happening? He is feeling weird about doing his mom, but nothing about Lauren doing her dad? I would think if he is great with just Lauren, then he would have a problem with others fucking her.

This chapter has hit the sex scenes hard, I hope the next ones actually tell a story other then who is going to fuck who. Maybe have Brandon or Lauren develop a backbone? Maybe the author will go out of his way to actually have something besides a long sex scene with minor breaks that just lead to more sex. So far in the context of this story the world is two houses (Brandon's and The parents) and a cabin somewhere. A great story needs more then just sex.

I'm going to avoid rating and see if like one commenter said, this was wrote later and inserted in. This chapter would be a three at best if I did rate it.

Just my point of view,

Buddy J.

Brandon forgot to use a condom with his threesome with Kristina.

I see too that Brandon's no longer using condoms with Kristina. Guessing she'll end up pregnant in part 3. With that said, I like the way she ends up being their half sister, but feel bringing the parents into the mix is going to far.

Interesting that you took your story this direction. It was surprise to hear those three are half brother and half sister. Interesting twist. But I have to also say bringing the parents in as sexual partners was a bridge too far for me. The first chapter was pretty awesome. Chapter 2 not so awesome for me. There are so many other paths with Lauren's friends you could take your story. I didn't read past page 2.

Un-FUCKING-believable! Regardless of whether this is a dream, a nightmare, a fascination or what...you've gotten me off at least a dozen times with this seven-page chapter. And well more than that with the series!

Your tale of debauched sex is stirring and cock-hardening. It's a cum dream that's kept me awake a couple of times.

After reading the comments below, only one area did I agree with. The first chapter had a great plot line and character development along with titillating sexual experimentation. The second one has been one long orgasm. I have no problem with adding the folks into their relationship. Bet the Andrews would welcome some participation as well. The cabin could be an orgy house. I would really be interested in more of the dialog space between the sexcapades (sic). I have to hand it to the author for leading us all in this dramatic tale. I can't stop reading. On to Chapter 3.

What happened to the condoms?

I couldn't even finish cause I don't know what's going on. I was really into just Brandon & Lauren especially with Brandon basically declaring in the beginning he is fine no fuckinh Kristina & it was also clear that Brandon only wants Lauren & vice versa but now you add Kristina as the half sister & the parents too. This just went downhill for me.

This one is just a little less hot than Part 1. But the parent-child sex that seems to be on tap is getting hotter, and this also gets 5 stars !

On to Part 3...

Seems like I'm the only one that was hopping for the parents to fuck their kids. I think it would of been hot. Does anyone else know a similar story where the parents fuck the kids?

Ugh. I loved part 1, but I'm not into M/S at all....

Plus, did they grt Kristina on the pill and i missed it? She's gonna get knocked up if he keeps filling her up without protection....

Four**4**Star story (barely)...too much "confusion" about what is going on, family-wise...

I have no issues with Brandon and Lauren being siblings...this is a great draw!! And finding out about Kristina being a virgin, and a newly-minted nympho, with predilections for incest sex with her newly-discovered half-siblings!!

But, the parents??!! That whole string is getting out of hand, what with "reciprocity" and the other crap!! This has...WHAT??!!

Gonna start next chapter...see what is what..."open-minded" as much as I can be...

😖🤔