All Comments on 'The Soccer Bitch'

Needs editing

I really enjoyed your story and considering this is your first attempt at writing hot gay material it's pretty well done in my opinion. I'm excited to find out if their relationship goes beyond blowjobs.

Very nicely done. I love it when a real man shows us how much we really want to serve a big cock. Hopefully he shares him with the rest of the team and really makes him the bitch. If not, I'm available to be the teams willing bitch. ;)

I can't comment on whether the story was any good because the poor grammar and bad spelling was atrocious!! I'm sure it was a good story but I just can't fight through poorly written prose.

I suggest when you write you read through it thoroughly a few times to make sure it makes sense. Sometimes a word will be spelt correctly but doesn't fit in the context, i.e. "Gaffe" instead of "Gaffer" which I believe you meant. It's easy to do but it ruins the flow of the story. So be careful you don't make an unintended...Gaffe! ;)

The spelling and grammar was a little rough, but that doesn't stop this from being a great start to hopefully great story

Very good if this is your first story. I really look forward to reading more. Feel free to have him gangbanged by the soccer team. ;)

Dear Long D -

I love your theme and I clicked 5 stars. Please, use simpler English. There were quite a few mistakes with in/into/to, with who/whom/whose, etc. It made me slow down too much. I had to translate into proper English for myself. It often made me lose my erection. For example, always use Who instead of trying to guess wrongly if whom/whose would have been more proper. Thanks for saying this might become a 5-part story. I can hardly wait!

Friends!