All Comments on 'The Spark'

This was quite enjoyable, and the main characters were very likable. We get to know them and want them to succeed, from their initial nervousness through their pent-up desire as they try to maintain their distance and eventually come together.

The one thing I didn’t like was Alan’s initial reaction to what happens at the start of the epilogue. That one line seemed very surprising and out of character for what had been developed over the story to that point; I think he would have wanted to fight harder rather than thinking of giving up. Personally, I’d like to see that line tweaked a bit. Still, that was one line so 5*s. Thanks for sharing.

It's amazing that someone could write an 8-page story that says so little. We know from the first paragraph that Dee is enamored of Alan (or Adam as his name changes in the middle of the story) and that they're destined to be together. Then we have page after page of dull dialog just to prove that they really are an ordinary dull couple. However, if the reader is smart it is possible to skim the dull dialog and get to the expected ending and "they'll live happily ever after", but hopefully we won't have to read about it. 2*

seemed like an inferno between these two. Anyway, it was pretty hot.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story. Thanks.

Well, I have now read everything you’ve written and all have been well thought out as well as romantic. I hope you will continue to write (the longer the better). I use to look for short stories but you have ruined me. I especially like the stories with a little action adventure. Looking forward to future stories. I’m a guy but I’ve wondered if you are a guy or a lady. Just curious

The middle of story was far too long. I just skimmed over mist of it. Far too protracted. The story at the beginning and the end was good and a good read as you got to know the couple but agree with previous comment about length.

Love your attention to the details! They really made the story pop.

What a great love story, a slow burn until the end. Well done 5++ stars

Great story. One suggestion - remove the section regarding the ex-wife and child support. It doesn't add to the plot and it's very confusing with no resolution.

The last paragraph about Dee breaking up with Alan "because she got cold feet" was like a figurative bucket of ice water poured over the feeling that you tried to kindle within the reader that these two had something extra special between them.

What happened to Dee getting to know Alan/Adam’s son, Niles? I thought he was going to join them at the pizza parlor. Their children all meeting each other would have further cemented their relationship.

I agree with the comment about Dee getting cold feet at the end of the story. It’s like a bucket of ice water was thrown on the romance and took me out of the story. The bit about child support had nothing to do with the rest of the story. It had no impact at all.

Dear anonymous and reader from Germany, maybe I could have better told of the brief break up between Dee and Alan, but the the reality is this story was close to autobiographical. I romanticized here and there but my wife and I lived this general story line. She DID get cold feet and break up some weeks before the Holidays. I was extremely crestfallen and had weeks of tears and darkness, I can now understand the depression and discouragement that can motivate suicide but for the sake of my kids, I couldn’t go there. In January she called and we started dating again. We were married the following May. 14 weeks after we broke up, we exchanged our vow in one of the most joyous weddings I have ever seen. We’ve been married 30 years. Sorry you didn’t like that plot turn but that was how it happened! May the spark be with you!

You left somethings unresolved.

The child support.

How did they become a blended family (since the children were so much of both their lives)?

Just why the ex was on welfare?

Could the ex's life style be a bad environment for his girls?

Did his girls ever even visit him?

Yes, a little detail on the breakup might have helped.

The story line was great but with just a few holes.

I was hoping see a sequel. Your story has so much potential for a series.

but maybe you have stopped writing, our loss.