The Specs and the Beams

MMy dear sister Dorothy,

I am writing to you because you would understand me best. You were the only one of us, the four siblings, who chose love over the family. So did our brother Brian, but his love story remained out of your sight. I'll tell you about it, at least the part where we, the other two brothers, were involved, with all its good and bad sides.

You know part of this story. It began eight months ago, on the 7th of January when Andrew and I finally accepted Brian's idea to add the production and trade with flowers to our farm. We decided to hire two more workers. One of them was a woman named Maeve.

Now, I will reveal to you the things you have never heard until now. Maeve readily shared her knowledge of flowers with the three of us but was eager to show the feminine side of her personality to only one - Brian. I could understand her. She was like his lost twin sister in everything. Both had chestnut hair, brown eyes, oval faces, tanned skin, and slender, fit bodies. Swimming and flowers were their shared passion. One could see them in the swimming pool when they were not together in the greenhouses.

I had sympathy for them from the very beginning. They reminded me of my cheerful time with Kathrin when she was still my girlfriend but not my ex-wife. You have walked a similar path, so you know what I mean. My close attention to their relationship was why I noticed Andrew's opposite attitude. He didn't like their closeness.

His initial disapproval was subtle -- a silent hiss or snort when he could see their joyful talking or when they touched each other. The latter was just a behavior of two people attracted to each other, nothing inappropriate. Andrew's discontent was so evident to me. If I asked him why, his answer was, "They distract each other from the work and could make a mistake because of this." or something like that. He sounded reasonable but silly. The closeness between Maeve and Brian seemed like a natural part of their work with the flowers.

My anxiety about Andrew strengthened when Maeve decided to teach Brian something she called a "water ballet." It was like underwater dancing close to each other, doing different turns, flips, and other moves. It could be quite a pretty view if I could ignore Andrew's comments. You haven't forgotten the stories our grandfather used to tell us about his youth, have you? Andrew's remarks were like them -- an echo from those years when unmarried people had to follow quite different rules. I am ashamed that I didn't take Andrew's words too seriously. "We shouldn't blame him." I thought, "Our oldest brother never had even a girlfriend, let alone a wife, while we, his younger siblings, are much luckier than him. He needs time to get used to this new situation."

The turning point was on the 12th of August, our "The Three brother's Independence Day." We still value and celebrate the day when our father made Andrew the owner of the plum orchard, and our big brother invited us to live and work with him. Brian came with Maeve to our brother's dinner on the same date. And not only that, but he also said Maeve should spend the night with him right here in the family house. Andrew's response gave us chills. His speaking was slow, with words falling from his mouth sharp and heavy, like an axe blade that splits wood. Andrew openly disapproved of Brian and Maeve's relationship for the first time. He ordered them to stop any closeness to the moment they became husband and wife. He meant not only sexual acts but also kisses, hugs, and any other physical contact. We, the three listeners, were stunned. You can understand it by Brian's actions. He obeyed without any resistance. After a while, when Maeve was leaving the house, he asked Andrew for permission to accompany her to her lodging. It sounds ridiculous, but it is true.

I was not better. My only reaction was shaking my head while staring at the table when Andrew and I remained alone in the house. My brother saw me and responded. "Connor," he said, "I have done the right thing. All people must think with their brains but not with their genitals. When Maeve curbs her passion, she should consider whether Brian is the right person for her. The same counts for Brian, too. I have the best intentions for them." His words sparked the suspicion that he might be jealous of Maeve and envious of Brian. But I didn't say anything, preferring the silence to avoid the inevitable argument.

The next few weeks were the worst in my life. Andrew's words to Brian were disguised as proposals, but the stern tone of his voice was turning them into orders. It was not necessary at all. Brian was the agronomist in the family and even graduated college as one. His work in the fruit orchards was by no means neglected by the work in the greenhouses. The goal was more than obvious -- keeping Maeve and Brian away from each other. Watching Brian's reasoned defeat to Andrew's ridiculous demands could be funny, but it worried me.

I was trying to support Brian sometimes. It was like treating the symptoms, not the disease itself. Andrew's orders were not the villains but the attitude that created them. It doesn't matter whether our big brother retreated or not. The warmth between Brian and Maeve remained destroyed in both ways.

Despite the odds, Brian and Maeve's love survived. I could see their hurried exchanges of passionate words, glowing eyes searching for each other, quick touches with fingers, and hugs lasting one instant. When I looked at their concealed tenderness, the phrase "my heart bleeds" was not a poetic exaggeration from the books.

Their most significant act of disobedience was their quick sex encounters when Andrew was leaving the farm. I can't blame them. It is a natural act of all people in love. You and I know it for sure. Now, it was time for Maeve and Brian to enjoy it. And they paid the price.

It happened today, the 8th of September, in less than one hour from the moment I wrote this letter. A couple of hours ago, Andrew sat in his car and headed to the town. Brian and Maeve went into the house after a while, holding hands. I don't know whether it was a second sight or a sixth sense, but something urged me to stay near the building. That's why I saw Andrew rushing out from the orchard on foot. "Get out of my way, say nothing, do nothing," he growled at me, heading to the back door. I followed him with a pounding heart despite the order. My fear rose when my brother ran through the porch and on the first floor with a cautious thump of soles instead of the expected thundering gait. He knew!

I almost reached for him at the base of the stairs to the second floor, but he surprised me by running up two steps at a time. I could have warned Maeve and Brian, but I could not do it. My brother was about to break their intimacy in the next few seconds, but I couldn't act like him. Even the thought of doing it tightened my throat.

Andrew's shouting muffled Maeve's shrill. I saw him standing near the bed, almost leaning above it. Maeve and Brian were lying there, naked, wrapping hands around each other, covering their faces from the downpour of angry words that were like a fierce dog barking but not a human speech. For the first time in months, I was willing to resist. I grabbed Andrew and pulled him out of the room and the house. My big brother sensed my determination because he spat in my face the words, "You won't be able to guard them all the time." before vanishing between the trees.

When I returned to Brian's room, he was putting his belongings in his luggage in preparation to leave. My advice would be the same. I wished them a happy life wherever they decided to go. I shall stay here, despite my heart pokes me to leave too. Someone must curb Andrew's madness. It was unleashed too long. Whatever happens, it will be my reward and my punishment together.

Wish me luck.

Your brother Connor