All Comments on 'The Storm'

Not a bad yarn. But short on development and a tad worn out plot but enjoyable. 8.8 stone? About 124 lbs as I recall. As a fellow TEXAN might I suggest getting with an Editor to flesh out the rough spots? I'll be reading your other stories next. Good luck. Looking forward for more from you.

2 stars

DragonRider55

At least about the editor comment.

Habitual sentence fragments, in my mind, are the death of a piece of literature. Get somebody else to edit your stories if you cannot effectively do it yourself. Typos will happen, but a writer should be able to catch most of them with a second and third read of the story before pressing that "Submit" button.

Very arousing and brought the story along with very specific sexual events added along with body reactions and how the brother and sister reacted to the stimulation. I like the terms used and how they reacted to what each other was doing. I'd like to see his sister when the parents are not home, to strip her brother, get him aroused and show off her hot body then ride him sitting up where she is in the control and superior position etc. Great and please write more. Thanks.

See piv in tags what is it?

A fairly good story but the descriptive terms used during sex were clumsy...appendage?...regae? And lemons...really? It's okay to try being different from the slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am stories but these things don't add anything sexy to your story telling. Just my opinion and hopefully constructive advice for next time.

Did George get his sister Lisa pregnant????

I appreciate the "unusual" descriptors you gave us to savor. There will be those who choose to discredit the language you use, but those words that are often lost in unabridged dictionaries actually enhance the story. Reaching beyond the everyday vernacular ("Vernacular? Its a doiby!") adds to the scintillation of your storytelling abilities.

An occasional typo is forgivable, except by those "perfectionists" who peruse the free sites because they cannot write such degrading comments around or toward those in the professional arena. I'm not saying Literotica has no class. We are all here to write as we feel and dream, except, some cannot write but only read.

Do not let your dreams be crushed by those who look longly down their noses at others. In the end, we all go in the dirt.

I've never heard of the lemon in the vag approach to birth control - not sure if that would be reliable.

For @UltimateHomeBody, PIV = Penis in Vag.