All Comments on 'The Story of a Button'

That was just wierd

Appreciate the tale and the invitation. Looking forward to contributions and your next chapter.

Not a fan of unfinished stories, even ones that promise an ending. In the end there is no one to cheer for. Unfaithful spouses running amuck, consciences that kick in too late, blackmail (yeah, right), murder plots, pregnancy, drugs, etc. leaves the story a convoluted mess. You did leave it wide open for interpretation, I will admit that. Maybe I'll look for the conclusion(s), maybe I won't.

The concept for a challenge to other writers is wonderful as long as the characters you hand over are worth their while. The main character is weak minded. I pity who he is, and that not inspiring. As for the main character to have been a biker seems unlikely. His mannerisms and reactions to the situation and events around him seem lacking of the intelligence that most unicyclists have. I must admit I feel as though I've just insulted solo-wheeling enthusiasts, and I in better judgement humbly apologize. Excellently executed was the over all flow of this madness. Now I hope someone will apologize for this story and execute this sad pathetic big wheel biker.

It is finished. You can't save what isn't there and there are no humans in the story.

The author did a very poor job on this pathetic story.

This story is not enjoyable and it is such waste of time reading all the way through.

This was uncompleted drivel. So many unfinished or unexplained threads that I just had to laugh. And while you tried to make this into a Peyton Place it came across as Hillbilly Junction. I don't think there was a character in this that had the IQ of a squirrel. In the end, I just had to laugh. Rather than being a suspenseful ending, it died with a quite thud. I'll be amazed if any author worth a lick takes this mess up and does anything with it. Because, let's face it, there's nothing worthwhile to pick up.

1 star although I gave it 2 stars in the voting because Lit sometimes throws 1's out.

I will read the ending. How long was she banging ashton?

Nice setup, cant wait to see how you finish this. A little confused as to whether the toxin was given to all the male card players and women partygoers, Ashton, and/or Willa, and in what amounts?

What a mess, he made his bed so now he will sleep in it.

You are a very good writer. I couldn't pull the chain on this one. This could have used a good editor. Confused and not well proofed.

The story had emotion, but mostly I just felt sorry for the main character's wife. The main character definitely has some serious flaws, and would be very hard to show any sympathy for his actions. The group of cheaters in the neighborhood sounds similar to the recent story published, about a club of surrogate wives. I don't mean anything negative towards either tale, just that the suspension of belief needed for them was a bit high, for me.

I am tempted to answer the call to follow this up, but am doubtful there is much that could wrap it up any further than it already has been. The material I can think of for this, mostly would just show the aftermath. There would be a lot of pain and suffering, mostly being felt by everyone related to the main couple. The kids could potentially grow up with both parents out of their lives, for one reason or another. The other marriages in the neighborhood will likely be in shambles.

Anyhow, at least you have done what I always aim to do with my stories. You got me to think about this scenario, and actually invest a few minutes of my time in it.

Thank you for sharing.

RNebular

I liked it very much. You should write the ending, Theres so many possibilities. 5 stars

So, what, couldn't be bothered to use a chapter number to warn this wasn't a complete story? Is it your own story you don't give a fuck about or is it the readers?

Why couldn't you have finished the story--THEN--invited others to write their own ending? I could be dead by next month.

Your writing is very good. This story is very bad. Every story should have at least one likable character. Your's has none. I find that very depressing. It is a depressing story and to be honest, I don't really care how you end it. I'm sure not going to wait around a month to find out.

I will not comment and rate till this story is finished...And as someone said it's a little confused without the end.

Tired of authors whose vanity calls for a one month delay between chapters. Finish the story, then ask for alternate endings.

I can't see anyone wishing to write more about these lowlives. Or to read more about them. And I don't expect to see a single ending. I surely don't care for one.

Wow. At first i was expecting the usual gruel but you wove an amazing story. Well done.

This one really left me thinking. True, the plot is disjunct, but it's being told by a guy under the influence of poison. The characters are morally bankrupt. But if you take a group of people who are driven by lust and appearances, which is entirely plausible, this neighborhood becomes very realistic. Throw a highly sexual, morally bankrupt character lie Rita into the tale, and you have intrigue. I liked it. But you are asking for an ending. I know Aston says the dose wasn't enough for Paul to die, but how could his wife carry him up to bed when she took a greater dose at almost the same time while he was paralyzed. Story's over. They're both beneath the dirt.

You've already given us the ending! As maninconn so astutely pointed out, Wilma and her unborn child are already dead. Well, let's see... A bunch of people end up dead from Botulism toxin poisoning and a local lab has a couple of vials of a newly developed strain of such reporting missing. It's reported missing by the Ph.D. scientists who actually developed it (you made Ashton just a lab technician who would be suspected immediately, not a pharmaceutical scientist who MIGHT be able to conceal it for a short time), because pharma labs tend to be rather obsessive in tracking such things. So everyone but "biker dude", who by your description of his lack of character and having the backbone of a jellyfish must actually ride a Vespa, is now either dead or in jail. Oops, I apologize to Vespa riders (so we've now managed to insult them as well as unicyclists)! End of story... But wait: Big pharma company X has also developed an anti-toxin to their deadly Botulinum. Oh I guess we'd best explain WHY in the heck a big pharmaceutical company would spend precious research dollars and personnel to develop not a potentially lucrative competitor to Botox, but something potentially lethal. You've stumped me on that one. Oh yeah, I'm also puzzled as to how to explain a gaggle of cheating slut wives, who are long-term, serial cheaters (as well exhibited by our button "collector") isn't discovered by their seemingly clueless hubbies who regularly play poker together and are clearly themselves amongst the many cheater's partners. Perhaps Wilma was "just kidding" about the whole thing and didn't put any extra toxin into the pie cream after all (and is actually an amateur magician, who managed to switch the tainted wine bottle with another while the boys were "talking" things out). Just what would you do with a bunch of temporarily paralyzed men and women (in separate locations) anyway? Strip them naked, place them in compromising positions and take pictures? Oh wait, they've already been there, done that. Actually since they're all despicable anyway, we don't really care what happens to them anyway. Bottom line: Any ending would have to be even more implausible than this ludicrous "concoction" masquerading as a story. But 2* for getting me to read through it again to find all the holes!

Well that's one way to fuck over the kids for life. Good crime fiction short, but not really LW or in need of an ending.

Wow... This is hideously bad

Response to comments http://bit.ly/2rFLxyC

Your response on your blog was:

"The usual negativity from the haters to the latest story post was slightly depressing. Then again, it was nothing new and as long as I know I'm doing right, I'm tossing them on the pile of trolls. More on it later. "

It's a somewhat confusing comment because it sheds absolutely no insight into what your responses might be to the criticisms of the story. You extended an invitation and I'm puzzled as to what your expectations might be. Why don't you just post your conclusion and let's see whether it warrants further exploration?

MFH

That is probably another story that needs to be told, possibly as a next chapter which could also spill what happened to the people in this incident.

I hate stories about stupid people

I have started five of your stories and couldn't finish any of them! ,,,your writing is so fractured as if we know things that we don't.....your thought jump around so much that we can't follow the story line.....If there is a story line? Moving on.....

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-story-of-a-button-epilogue

The perils of posting on a work day

messy boring wordy shit.

Excellent. Noirish and an interesting ensemble of characters. Ignore the morons and their comments.

Original and well-written story

Not quite sure how this ended. Murder, suicide, it wasn't clear. Caught by a button, damn.

4* for a twisty tale but it was very ugly.

Ok, was an asshole the first time he cheated. But then he was set up by the bitch and blackmailed by the other women. Did the informats tell Willa about the blackmailing?

No reason for murder and suicide.