All Comments on 'The Substitute'

Need more. Make this a series

Dearest Mr. Mountain,

This is a short, sexy read! Good job!

Some issues that almost certainly are the result of 'spell check'. I'm sure time and experience will correct these simple errors. Keep writing!

I need more and ASAP

More!!!

good story, way too short. flesh out your characters more and either get an editor or really proof read. way too many times you said "many" instead of "Manny".....otherwise a good read.

I agree with previous comments that we need to read more stories like this one. So sexy. So erotic.

The problem, of course, will arise when he has his own "son/daughter" tested pre-divorce. Since none of his dna/genetic material will show she will understand that it was the husband's father that she should have used to breed her.

Fantastic story! Please make this a series

I liked the story. A father breeding his daughter is hot. Mom needs to be brought in on what's happening so she can understand it's to help give their daughter what she wants more than anything and not just that her husband is having an affair.

“For the next ten minutes, many pounded into his daughter with a vengeance he thought had gone long ago.”

Who were the many that pounded into her? Did he bring all his friends? Haha.

Several times in your story “Manny” somehow got changed to “many”, with funny results!

I normally hate nit-picking in these stories, but since she has been tracking her cycle, she'd not need to meet every week, but several times over a few days.

Probably not as hot a story, though.

Anyway, please continue... ;)

Five stars for the hot sex and dialog.

Needs to be a series. I can see it going a lot of ways!

Her DADDY did a fantastic job.

They need to screw more often to make sure she gets her baby.

I think she needs one of two more kids after this one is born.

I don't usually like father-daughter stories, I'm not sure exactly why - maybe a trust issue that isn't present with brother-sister, but I have to admit this story was very HOT.

In response to the comment about the frequency of their encounters it occurs to me that maybe that's not about making a baby but about her wanting more of what she just experienced. Maybe once a week won't be enough, either.

Thanks for a very good story.

Excellent story, cant wait for part 2.

Except women can get pregnant two days a month. Fucking every Friday makes zero sense..if they are supposedly checking her cycle they get the hot those days

Great Story! Wouldn't mind seeing a second part.

The story is worth 5 stars, but the many errors drops it to a 4.

He calls himself "Daddy" when talking to his adult daughter and this -

"Melanie could feel the heat of his sperm warming her entire belly."

is garbage. Why should his cumshot be warmer than the inside of her body? Completely overdone but teenage wankers will no doubt enjoy it.

Smoking Hot start of a great story, I hope.

More ASAP Please.

Short but damn good. Thanks for sharing.

Filling his daughters cunt full of daddy cock and cum, doesn't get any better. Hope it takes several times to succeed

Great story

Thank you, may I have another...

This was so hot.... I rubbed my pussy so hard to this story... Wish the dad was sucking and fondling my tits instead... My pussy is throbbing

Needed a cigarette by the time I got to the end of it!

I don't mean to be nitpicking but use spell check the next time and get his name right

next chapter please

Now I wish I had a “Daddy”

More please! And some sucking and licking next time, yes?

Holy shit! The best I've read in a long, long time.

"many caved"

One of the best stories I ever read. Please continue your great storyline and the way you write your plot. More then five stars.....

Can't wait for the next chapter.

Hope everything goes as planned.

Flat yummy!! Sounds like her husband has more than one problem of his own, rofl. If she were a single mother he could check in on her a lot more often, hehe ;)

You need an Editor because you have some misspellings and other grammar mistakes.

You also have falsehoods in what you think can happen in a females body.

It is 'technically' POSSIBLE to bump a woman's cervix but there would have to be an unusual set of circumstances in order for that to happen. The cock would have to be VERY long and the woman would have to be VERY thin. In addition, the cock would have to have a big curve upwards to reach the cervix.

It is IMPOSSIBLE for a cock to hit a womb or to pump cum into a womb.

The vagina and the vaginal canal are sloped downwards away from, and under, the female sex organs.

You've all heard it before but it seems not to have soaked into a lot of brains. Sperm have to swim upwards to get into the cervix and continue swimming upwards until they reach the womb.

Very hot story. Needs a little work.. Part 2 will be better

Panties wet. Good job

There a lot of holes in this story. Except for exciting the reader he didn't need to fuck and cum in her a second time that night. He only fucked her the second time to satisfy the both of them sexually not for procreation. No one really knows just how many children are the product of fathers and daughters or mothers and sons and not to mention brothers and sisters. The one problem with incest is the possibility of children being less than healthy. A mentally impaired child is really dreadful to think about as well as being physically deformed. Thus the taboo of incest.

Great sensual effect! You certainly built up the anticipation!

One small request: please take the time to edit all the places where you call the father "many". It sabotages your excellent storytelling.

wipe on his upper lip when they met in the cafe, just to seal the deal then....

would have thought they'd both want her to remain on her back once he's spunked in her, make sure none of his batter leaked out...both horndogs...

I think the story would have been better if Dad had to be seduced

Not all but some of these anonymous comments are so stupid that it leaves no doubt in my mind that he/she is playing with themselves... They are ready to criticize the writers but you never see anything they have written which leads me to believe they are inbred morons. I thought the story was hot and overlooked any errors in writing. Keep up your good stories and as others have suggested lets see a chapter 2 and more... 5 stars and more if they were available... For the inbred morons my email.

dukeofearl@gmx.com

Awesome start

@anonymous

Some of the commenters aren't authors so they MUST be inbred morons huh? I also find it hilarious you're using inbred as an insult WHILE enjoying a story about inbreeding. Fucking idiot lol

What a great dad -- to give his beautiful daughter just what she wants and needs, and ready to come back and do he again. I hope dear Dad gets the chance to keep doing his daughter, not just the week following, but right through her resultant pregnancy, when she will really need his ongoing support and strength, and virility to see her through to having a baby of her own. And a follow-up sequel in a year or two to see that his daughter would have a brother or sister for their first child. I enjoyed the forceful nature of the daughter in allowing this to happen, and at least a hint from her that she had been thinking of doing her father before this opportunity had come up. Good for her!

This was my 3rd time reading this, and I have yet to be disappointed with it. It reads fresh and hot each time. For those who criticize things like grammar and spelling, perhaps they have a gripe, the rest who complain about various and sundry issues, they need to lighten up, this is a place for both professionals and amateurs to put their erotic stories out for people to read, give HELPFUL feedback, and enjoy. The don't really need so much grief that people tend to want to dish out to make themselves feel superior.

If you have a legitimate complaint, by all means, post it, to help the writer become a better author, but don't just post your opinion that something is bad, when it is just an opinion, and trash someone's work. That helps nobody, and just hurts feelings, and shows you to be a spiteful person.

This is so fucking HOTTTTT

DING DING DING WE'VE GOT A WINNER!!!

A great story, I loved it.

This reminds me of boss being so desperate to have a baby she got pregnant with her son baby on New Year’s Eve

Oh yes .. my hot wet pussy is screaming for more 😘

Sounded like she scratched him up pretty good. Wife won't see this? I'd rather they'd got wife's permission...

An average cookie cutter story - Daughter's comments to dad are somewhat verbose and vulgar considering who she was talking to - The same applies to dad's comments when they were in the motel . . . .