The Summer Barbecue and Sam's Test

A Summer barbecue and Sam's test.

Sam knocked on the door of Carla's childhood home. Carla had agreed to meet him there since they were arriving from opposite sides of London and it just made sense.

Carla's parents were having an informal barbecue ostensibly to celebrate her Dad's early retirement, but really they were more interested in meeting the new boyfriend. Carla's other love interests had turned out to be colossal knobs but Sam apparently might be a 'keeper'

Their home was a very nice 1930s semi detached house just inside of Surbiton. Viewers of the 1970s UK classic sitcom 'The Good Life', will be familiar with the style. Sam had to get an Uber there from the station as it was a good walk from the station and he didn't want to arrive sweaty.

Diane and Cliff were very proud of their beautiful home and had a wry sense of humour around the cultural heritage of English suburbia. For example, they had cultivated a bush of Pampas grass by the front hedge in an ironic nod to the myth that pampas grass was a sign that swingers dwelled within.

Carla's parents were definitely not swingers, however they did practice a very English pastime. They were both long time nudists.

Carla had dabbled too when she was younger but more and more felt the need to cover up. She appreciated that there were societal norms that kept us covered up and constantly consuming 'fast fashion'. However she lived in the UK and to be honest, nudist weather lasted about a week, in August, maybe, if you were lucky.

So she had fallen out of the habit of going clothes-free. She did occasionally like to go to a 'naturist evening' at a spa that was nearby to her flat in Reading. In fact, it was at one of these impromptu naked evenings that she had met Sam. Sam had gone with his then girlfriend - single men generally being frowned upon at these kinds of gatherings and had soon become smitten with Carla. He had, not uncoincidentally, split up with his girlfriend shortly after.

Sam, like Carla, was not a dyed in the wool nudist. He had a slight exhibitionist fetish. Naturally well endowed he liked the idea that women would flock to him because of his exceptionally large penis. The few days out he had taken in the nude had definitely drawn attention, but in his case, mainly from his own sex. To be honest he was flattered by the attention and had allowed himself to be blown by a middle aged guy, once at Hampstead ponds. His taste for the same sex was only temporary, though, and he tried not to dwell too much on this secret history.

At the spa day they had met, Carla had indeed noticed Sam's long and thick cock. At 25, she had gone through a bit of a dry spell. A brief relationship a year before had ruined her self esteem and she had stacked quite a few kilos on. Lockdown hadn't exactly helped either. Sam's attentions at the spa had helped her enormously and she was well on the way back to her old confident self. And it wasn't too long before she was gulping greedily on his fat prick.

As Sam stood at the door of the house admiring the slightly arts and crafts inspired glazing, he wondered what Carla's parents would be like. He was also busy reminding himself not to get drunk. When he was nervous he always drank too much, partly as an excuse to do something with his hands. He was possibly in love with Carla and desperately wanted to make a good impression on them.

The door swung upon to reveal a man in his mid 50s or possibly early 60s. He wore a huge smile and had a bottle of beer in his hand. With his other hand he vigorously shook Sam's hand.

"You must be Sam? We have been dying to meet you, young man. I'm Cliff, Carla's Dad."

Sam was momentarily lost for words. Understandably, as Cliff was completely naked.

"Sam, you look like a rabbit in some headlights. Sam told us you'd met at a nude evening, so I assumed you knew we were nudists too."

Eventually Sam pulled himself together and followed Cliff inside the house.

"Sorry Cliff, yes we did, but, ah, she didn't tell me.. Um, this bit."

"Oh well, never-mind, now you know. Haha." Cliff said

"Come on out the back," Cliff continued as he led Sam through the house. "Diane is already pouring some Pimms, or would you prefer a beer?"

"Beer, please Cliff." Sam said. "Is Carla here already?"

"Not yet Sam, she texted her mum a few minutes ago and let us know she was about half an hour late"

Oh fuck, Sam thought. This is going to be a tough half hour.

As they made their way through the living room towards the garden, Sam got a glimpse of Carla's mum, Diane.

On the patio there was a classic four person picnic table, slightly weathered, with a rainbow striped umbrella sticking up through the middle.

Diane was sitting in front of a large pitcher of Pimm's and a glass already half empty.

She was a lady in her mid 50s, probably 5' 5" slightly greying long hair tied back in a ponytail. What was immediately noticeable about her was the enormous breasts protruding from her chest. Completely naked, like her husband, she was sat cross legged on the picnic table. Her breasts though were what, Sam was already having trouble trying not to notice. Remarkably firm for a lady of her age, her large brown nipples were facing forward rather than down, and sat atop large dark areolas. Sam took a guess that she would be at least a KK or L cup. As he gazed, he found his cock swelling slightly.

Shit, he thought, not now, not now.

"Hello Diane," he said as he stepped through the sliding double glazing doors. "It's really lovely to meet you"

"And you, Sam," she replied, rising to meet his extended arm. "No handshakes for me please, I'm a hugger."

Diane stepped out of the table and embraced Sam. Her huge breasts squashed against his freshly bought linen shirt.

"Go easy there Di, Sam's not used to this sort of thing, yet." Cliff chortled from behind his beer. "You might get a reaction from down there."

"I thought Carls said they met at a naturist bar" Diane said, very briefly checking Sam's groin for swelling, she wasn't disappointed. Lucky girl, Diane thought.

"We did," Sam interjected, "but I didn't realise you were 'clothing optional' at home."

"Well, young man, if the desire takes you, you can take your clothes off too, no pressure!", Diane said.

"Um, I might wait till Carla gets here, if that's OK? I'll see what her plan is"

"Oh, on a day like today, she'll be as naked as the day she was born in no time." Cliff replied.

Oh, wow, thought Sam. She's happy being nude around her parents. That's kind of a bit messed up. He couldn't help wondering what Cliff thought about seeing his daughter naked. He was sure there was no sexual attraction there, but men's natural reactions don't operate at the level of conscious thought. Taboo feelings tend to well up from the deep pits of our subconscious.

Mercifully now sitting down Cliff handed Sam a bottle of cold beer. Carla's parents commenced to grill their daughter's new mate about his history.

"Nothing super exciting," Sam explained "I'm a devs engineer at a medium sized software firm."

"I live just outside Farnborough and commute into my job which is based in Reading. Super dull" he continued.

"Devs engineer," chuckled Diane "I have literally no-idea what that is."

"I write code, basically, and check that other people's code is good" said Sam.

"Oh!" said Diane, "you must be super clever!"

Starting to feel a bit more relaxed, especially now that his semi-erection had gone, Sam chuckled in response.

During Diane's cross examination Cliff got up and started poking about with the barbeque, emptying a sack of charcoal into the basket and starting to get it ready to light.

Sam glanced across at him and was startled to notice that Cliff was sporting an enormous erection. It bobbed around as he fiddled with the charcoal.

Cliff caught Sam's eye as he was looking at his huge hard cock.

"Sorry about that son, I may have been married to the old girl for twenty five years, but there's still something about seeing her naked that gets the juices flowing!" He moved over to Diane as she sat on the edge of the picnic chair, and bent over to give her an affectionate kiss on the lips.

"You old softy" she said as she looked at her husband with a mix of love and overt sexual attraction.

"Nothing soft about this, though!" she said, and lifted the bulbous head of his penis to her lips and gave it a little kiss before engulfing the whole crown in her mouth.

"Oops, forgot we had company for a second there" Cliff said as he gave Sam a little wink.

With a plop, Cliff pulled his cock from his wife's mouth.

Sam was somewhat surprised at this turn of events and so was extremely relieved to see his girlfriend walking through the patio door just a second after her mother had given her father an extremely short blow job.

"Hellooo," she cried "baby, you made it!" then to her parents: "I hope you have been making Sam welcome?"

Carla flopped down on the corner of the chair and helped herself to a generous pour of Pimms from the jug. She nudged Sam and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"How have you been, lovely?" she asked Sam.

"Great," he replied, "I was a bit surprised that your parents are nude though."

"Ah. Sorry" taking a big slug of Pimms she continued. "Yes, I should have told you they would likely be nude. Especially as it's such a lovely day."

"Sam here was waiting for you to decide if you should join us, darling" Cliff said to his daughter. "Why he can't decide this for himself, I have no clue."

"Well, daddy, it would have been awkward for him to be nude if I decided I wanted to keep my clothes on, wouldn't it?

"Hmmmfff, yes, I suppose it would" Cliff conceded.

"So what's the plan then Carls?" asked Sam.

"Welll it is a lovvvely day. And I looked at the weather app on my way here and it's going to be warm all afternoon," she replied.

Oh bloody hell, thought Sam, I'm going to have to be bloody naked all day. He didn't especially mind being naked with Sam, she was beautiful and he felt really comfortable around her. But,with her parents who were obviously a tiny bit eccentric, it was a whole different story. He was also worried about erections. Not blessed with the natural confidence of Sam's father he wasn't sure he could pull off nonchalance about his substantial penis being erect around his potential in-laws.

"So?" he asked Carla, already knowing the answer.

"I say let's go clothes-free. Here, unzip me please," she shifted to the side so that Sam could easily undo her dress.

Carla was wearing a light summer dress. It was fitted so that her generous curves were easily held in check, including a built-in bra. Once unzipped, she stood up and pulled the whole thing over her head and theatrically threw it towards the house.

Carla bore a strong resemblance to her mother. Both had similar hair, eyes and a definite turn to the chin that ran through their whole family.

Both mother and daughter were solidly built - thick thighs, save lives - Sam thought, What struck him most though now seeing them side by side was the similarity in their boobs. Diane had been slightly affected by gravity's inevitable effect, but her boobs were a cup size or two larger than her daughter's.

Carla had been blessed in the hips and tits department. Her slightly protruding belly sagged over her shaved pussy. Her huge breasts were, like her mother's, topped with a pair of dark brown nipples atop large round areolas. When she did actually wear a bra she had to buy 38LL, not easy to find in suburban Berkshire.

"Ta-da!" Carla said as she did a twirl. "You next!"

Carla started tugging at Sam's shirt as she sat down again.

"ok. Ok." Sam said, "I'm doing it."

He stood and undid his white shirt. Unbuckled his trousers, kicked off his shoes. He shuffled out of his trousers and pulled off his shirt. As he shuffled down his trousers and tugged at the cuffs to pull them off it became apparent that he was well on the way to a full erection. All eyes were on the huge bulge making a tent in his pants as he stumbled trying to yank his trousers off. Even Cliff was eyeing Sam's penis with apprehension.

"Oh my, Sam." Diane broke the silence. "You are much bigger than my husband. Cliff, look away!"

Cliff had already noticed that yes, his potential son in law was indeed much bigger in the cock department than himself. He was certainly extremely proud of his 6" cock and it had proved useful enough to his wife that they still had almost nightly sex.

Ironically, the size of Sam's prick had actually worsened his self esteem rather than helped it. Girlfriend's were often put off by the intimidating size and refused to sleep with him. Word got out at university that he had a huge dong and it became a bit of a running joke amongst his fellow students. A different type of man would have leaned into it and used it to his advantage.

A full 9" long and 3" thick it stood proudly out in front of him as he finally conquered his trousers and stood up straight. Half way through his second beer already, Sam felt that the sight of his erect penis would not overtly affect Carla's parent's opinion of him.

Diane was definitely affected. She could barely keep her eyes off Sam's engorged cock. Visibly licking her lips at the thought of it inside her mouth. Not today though, she told herself, today was for Cliff.

"Sam!" Clara chided. "Please put that thing away, you're making my dad jealous."

Clara laughed hysterically, while her father grumbled and went back to fussing with the now glowing barbeque.

Mother and daughter were now both visibly aroused. Their nipples poking out at full height. Clara's pussy was glowing with warmth and the first tendrils of moisture were seeping out from her folded labia.Diane meanwhile, was squeezing her thighs together hard in an effort to contain the swollen clit that was desperate for attention.

Peeling his boxers down past his ankles. Sam was grateful to be able to sit down next to his girlfriend so that they could get back to normal conversation.

"So, Diane," he said "Carla tells me you work in some kind of therapy?"

"yes," she replied, "actually I work with clients to help them with blockages they might have."

"Blockages?" Sam asked

"You know, like with sexual issues or self esteem or just general anxiety." she continued.

"You know, though, I think anxiety is nearly always the result of some kind of sexual dysfunction" Diane exclaimed, warming to her topic.. "Us English and sex. It really is a joke. However, it pays some bills. And I really do enjoy it."

"Sam," Diane asked, "For example, when you arrived here this evening, how did you feel when my lovely husband here answered the door?"

"Well I was shocked,"

"Exactly, " Dianne replied. "The sight of a grown man in his natural state had you quivering with embarrassment."

"I wouldn't go that far" Sam said "I have experienced some naturist socially, as you know, but I was definitely taken aback. Um, but I feel much more comfortable now."

"Because you are naked!" Dianne said, "as mother nature intended,"

"Oh Mum, not this hippy nonsense, please," Carla said. Secretly enjoying every moment of this conversation, and smirking.

"Hush, Carla, Sam needs to let go."

Cliff, chuckling to himself, went into the kitchen to grab an ice bucket for some beer and prosecco as well as a stack of small steaks and burgers for the barbeque.

Sam noticed that Carla's father was still extremely hard and caught Carla looking at her Dad's erect penis, with her lips slightly parted, from the corner of his eye as he disappeared into the house..

Dianne continued "See, I saw you both admiring Cliff's mighty lingam just then. A penis is a powerful organ of light. It should be worshiped and not hidden."

Carla started blushing as her mother really found her stride.

"Take the yoni for example," Diane stood as she carried on, "It too is an organ of light. Yet it is hidden under layers of man-made fibres and covered with hair to hide the shame. No!"

Sam jumped as she said 'No' so loudly he was sure the neighbours might peer over the high privet fences.

Now, as she was standing holding herself tall, her breasts proudly jutting out from her chest. She bent forward and pulled up her tummy to reveal her smoothly shaved cunt.

"Look!" Diane cried "does this look like something to be ashamed of? It has given life." pointing at Carla, who had her head in her hands but her shoulders were heaving as she laughed to herself.

Diane parted her legs and spread her vulva apart for Sam to look inside. Her slit was glistening wet and her fingers left strands of wetness dripping from her sacred hole.

Sam said "No, it doesn't, umm, it's quite beautiful." Sam really did think Diane's wet pussy was beautiful. He didn't know why this would be true, but he always imagined older lady pussy to be quite dank and oppressive, like a slightly mouldy old forest. This really was a revelation. Smooth and inviting. He almost wanted to reach out and touch it.

"Touch it," Dianne barked.

"Mum. For fuck's sake!"

"Do you want your boyfriend to respect women, darling?" Diane asked her daughter. Without waiting for an answer she continued, "I'm teaching him about respecting women. The cunt has been maligned too long. Listen to the word: 'cunt'. It's an insult, the worst kind you can use. Women have been derogated as Cunts. I for one have had enough of it."

Then, to Sam, gently, she said "please touch my cunt Sam"

After she had said this, Cliff emerged carrying the dinner meats and the beers. He had heard his wife's speech many times before and was sincerely enjoying the reaction it was having on poor Sam.

Sam looked over at Cliff and Carla's dad nodded as if to say "go ahead"

"Cliff, he doesn't need your permission, we are not possessions to be bartered and agreed upon." Diane continued.

Tentatively, Sam reached out and touched the top of Diane's vulva. He could feel the warmth inviting him in. She pulled back the top of her clitoral hood and pushed his finger there.

"Now," she said, straddling the bench facing him. "I want you to face me."

Awkwardly, Sam complied. Behind him, he felt Carla scooch up close to him and wrap her arms around his waist. He glanced over at Cliff who was casually poking sausage and burgers on the barbecue with tongs in one hand while slowly wanking his cock with the other.

"Place one hand on your cock and the other on my pussy." Diane directed.

This evening was not going quite as he had foreseen, Sam thought.

Nonetheless he did as requested.

"Push a finger inside me, and this is very important: I want you to breathe up into your heart the energy in that wonderful lingam and then as you breathe out send the energy deep into my cunt.

Sam felt incredibly silly. He didn't really understand what Diane meant by energy. And why had she said the word 'cunt" so may times? He could feel her pulsing her vaginal walls against his finger. Her wetness was dribbling out of her and over his hand as his grip tightened around his cock. The excitement and strangeness of the evening washed over him. Carla reached her hands down and cupped his balls and placed a hand over his and started slowly wanking him off. All of a sudden, with almost no warning, his balls tightened and a thick geyser of cum erupted from what felt like the depths of his soul.

"Fuck!" he said as ropes of jizz landed on the bench between him and Diane, some falling on her enormous cleavage.

"Hmmm," said Diane. "Do not feel bad, it's the same for everyone their first time. It's a long weekend. Enjoy it."

Carla's mum reached down her top and scooped a globule of cum that had dribbled down a firm tit and was about to drip off her erect nipple and popped it into her mouth.